Rikku: Underwear Thief
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Final Fantasy games. But they sure as hell are fun. A/N: The idea for this story came to me from Jenny's RPG on LJ. I got bored one day in Soc. Stud., so I went back and read of all of the person who was playing Cloud's LJ; and lo and behold; there was some nonsense about Rikku stealing his underwear. So please, R&R. It will be for the greater good. Also, Rikku speaks Al Bhed in some of the parts in the story, so if you want to know what she's saying, I suggest you find a place that translates Al Bhed to English for you.
Chapter One: Cloud Can't Find His Underwear
The night was penetrating. Every shadow moved and formed life of it's own.
One of these shadows was indeed alive. Rikku! But wait! Why is she wearing a cat suit? Is Rikku indeed a cat? Or perhaps she is something more sinister...something that all people who sleep at night fear...perhaps she is...
An underwear thief!
Sound asleep in his bed is Cloud, unsuspecting to what is about to happen. There is a giggle that penetrates the shadows, for Clouds pajamas are indeed funny. Rikku creeps up to his drawers.
Soundlessly, she opens them all up, looking for her treasure. Finally, she finds it; Cloud's sock and underwear drawer. "Ac ra lnywo? Fru bidc draen culgc yht ihtanfayn eh dra cysa tnyfan?" Rikku mumbles to herself in Al Bhed.
Cloud stirs in his sleep, and Rikku freezes. But Cloud does not wake up. Rikku gives out a sigh of relief, and then continues at the task at hand; emptying Cloud's sock and underwear drawer into the burlap bag that she carried with her for stealing convenience.
Leaving nothing but the socks behind, Rikku creeps out of Cloud's room and into the night, were she dissolves like a sugar cube in tea.
The next morning Cloud burst into the kitchen were Tifa and Yuffie were eating their breakfast, along with the unlikely guest of Vincent.
"Give me back my underwear," he said to Yuffie.
"What?" she asked. "Why would I want your underwear?" Vincent looks at Cloud, a look on his face that says 'I would laugh, but I don't really feel like it.' Cloud glares.
"What does your underwear look like, anyway?" Tifa asked absent- mindedly.
"That's none of your business!" Cloud yelled, face turning red.
"No, please tell us," said Vincent, face turning red from trying to hold in his laughter.
Cloud stormed out of the room, promising himself vengeance on whoever would do such a horrible thing such as steal his underwear.
"So you stole his underwear?" Selphie asked, laughing.
"Indeed I did," Rikku, bring out the bag full of Cloud's 'personal items' as we will call them.
"What color are they?" Quistis asked, looking on with curiosity.
"White," said Rikku, pulling out a pair. "Surprising, because they don't go with his outfit."
"That's for sure," said Selphie, holding another pair up. After a while, she decides to have a fan-girl moment, and puts them on her head.
"They're all tightey-whites," Quistis said as Rikku dumped the bag on her floor.
"Not all of them," said Rikku, digging through them. She held up a black silk pair.
"That goes with his outfit a little better, I suppose," said Selphie, taking the underwear of her head and tossing them into the pile.
"Does he know you stole them?" asked Quistis, looking at Rikku. She shrugged.
"Probably thinks Yuffie did it," Rikku said with a shrug, trying to fashion the back underwear like a headband, and not succeeding.
"Do you plan on telling him?" asked Selphie, helping Rikku get the underwear right.
"Not really..." Rikku trailed off. There was a knock at the door.
"I'll get it," said Quistis as Selphie accomplished the underwear to look like Rikku's blue headband. As Quistis went off to the door, Selphie and Rikku tried to fashion the other underwear into headgear.
"We should sell some of these on E-Bay," Selphie said. Rikku nodded in agreement, making one of the pairs of underwear into a hat for an old man.
Quistis opened the door to find Cloud, Vincent, and Iverne standing there. Cloud had a look that was a cross of embarrassment and urgency. Vincent looked blank, as usual, but the trace of a smile was getting more and more apparent. Vincent just looked amused.
"Cloud can't find his underwear," Vincent said, making Iverne giggle. Cloud glared at him, and he shrugged.
"Who iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis it?" Rikku asked, who was twirling with the underwear on her head in the bedroom.
"Cloud, Vincent, and Iverne," Quistis said.
"Let them in!" said Selphie, who was trying to suppress a giggle. Quistis shrugged and let them in.
"How long has his underwear been missing?" asked Quistis.
"Since this morning," said Cloud sadly, making Quistis try and suppress a laugh. She and Vincent exchanged looks, and Quistis shrugged.
"These all the people you could get on the 'Find The Underwear Party'?" Quistis asked, trying to make conversation.
"You're the second people we visited," Iverne said. "We tried Squall and Zell first, but when we told them what happened, Zell burst into uncontrollable laughter. When we left Squall was trying to sedate him."
"Well," Quistis said as Cloud and Iverne sat down (Vincent remained standing), "it is a very funny matter..." Cloud glared.
"What's up?" Rikku asked, as she and Selphie came in. Selphie sat down next to Iverne, and Rikku remained standing, hands on her hips, black underwear that looked like her headband still in place.
"Cloud's lost his underwear," Quistis said, raising an eyebrow.
"I see..." said Rikku, rubbing her chin and trying to act serious. "Well, this is a serious matter..."
"Is that my underwear?" Cloud asked. Rikku smiled nervously.
"Maybe..." she said, giggling.
"DID YOU THREE STEAL MY UNDERWEAR???" Cloud yelled, standing up.
"I didn't steal it with her!" Selphie said in her defense. "I just cheered her on!"
"I wasn't even there when the plan was devised," Quistis said.
"Is that even the right word to use? Devised?" Vincent asked. Quistis shrugged. Cloud looked at Rikku in fury for an answer.
"Cu E cduma ouin ihtanfayn?" Rikku asked with a shrug.
"What did you say?" asked Cloud. He turned to Quistis and Selphie. "What did she say?"
"She said that she stole your underwear," Selphie said.
"Lies!" said Cloud, thrusting his fist into the air.
"E's hud meaehk. E's zicd cbaygehk eh y myhkiyka dryd oui tuh'd ihtancdyht," Rikku said, trying to hide her laughter at the fact that Cloud couldn't speak Al Bhed.
"I think maybe we should sedate Cloud now," Iverne whispered to Selphie. She nodded and grabbed a tranquilizer gun.
As Cloud ranted on, Selphie gave the gun to Vincent who aimed it at Cloud's butt. Right before Cloud was about to rip the underwear off Rikku's head, Vincent fired.
Iverne and Vincent, with the help of Squall and Zell (who had finally stopped laughing), dragged Cloud back to his house.
In the end, Rikku sold all of the underwear (save for the black ones and two other pairs for Selphie and Quistis) on E-Bay. Cloud was able to buy most of it back, but a lot of it was purchased by other random Final Fantasy characters that now wear the underwear on their heads, as it is a new fad. Even Mukki participated in the fad, which was more then slightly disturbing for poor Cloud.
Suck it up.
A/N: Next chapter, Rikky steals Selphie's bra! Please reveiw and tell me what to do next. I promise, it'll be lots of fun...
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Final Fantasy games. But they sure as hell are fun. A/N: The idea for this story came to me from Jenny's RPG on LJ. I got bored one day in Soc. Stud., so I went back and read of all of the person who was playing Cloud's LJ; and lo and behold; there was some nonsense about Rikku stealing his underwear. So please, R&R. It will be for the greater good. Also, Rikku speaks Al Bhed in some of the parts in the story, so if you want to know what she's saying, I suggest you find a place that translates Al Bhed to English for you.
Chapter One: Cloud Can't Find His Underwear
The night was penetrating. Every shadow moved and formed life of it's own.
One of these shadows was indeed alive. Rikku! But wait! Why is she wearing a cat suit? Is Rikku indeed a cat? Or perhaps she is something more sinister...something that all people who sleep at night fear...perhaps she is...
An underwear thief!
Sound asleep in his bed is Cloud, unsuspecting to what is about to happen. There is a giggle that penetrates the shadows, for Clouds pajamas are indeed funny. Rikku creeps up to his drawers.
Soundlessly, she opens them all up, looking for her treasure. Finally, she finds it; Cloud's sock and underwear drawer. "Ac ra lnywo? Fru bidc draen culgc yht ihtanfayn eh dra cysa tnyfan?" Rikku mumbles to herself in Al Bhed.
Cloud stirs in his sleep, and Rikku freezes. But Cloud does not wake up. Rikku gives out a sigh of relief, and then continues at the task at hand; emptying Cloud's sock and underwear drawer into the burlap bag that she carried with her for stealing convenience.
Leaving nothing but the socks behind, Rikku creeps out of Cloud's room and into the night, were she dissolves like a sugar cube in tea.
The next morning Cloud burst into the kitchen were Tifa and Yuffie were eating their breakfast, along with the unlikely guest of Vincent.
"Give me back my underwear," he said to Yuffie.
"What?" she asked. "Why would I want your underwear?" Vincent looks at Cloud, a look on his face that says 'I would laugh, but I don't really feel like it.' Cloud glares.
"What does your underwear look like, anyway?" Tifa asked absent- mindedly.
"That's none of your business!" Cloud yelled, face turning red.
"No, please tell us," said Vincent, face turning red from trying to hold in his laughter.
Cloud stormed out of the room, promising himself vengeance on whoever would do such a horrible thing such as steal his underwear.
"So you stole his underwear?" Selphie asked, laughing.
"Indeed I did," Rikku, bring out the bag full of Cloud's 'personal items' as we will call them.
"What color are they?" Quistis asked, looking on with curiosity.
"White," said Rikku, pulling out a pair. "Surprising, because they don't go with his outfit."
"That's for sure," said Selphie, holding another pair up. After a while, she decides to have a fan-girl moment, and puts them on her head.
"They're all tightey-whites," Quistis said as Rikku dumped the bag on her floor.
"Not all of them," said Rikku, digging through them. She held up a black silk pair.
"That goes with his outfit a little better, I suppose," said Selphie, taking the underwear of her head and tossing them into the pile.
"Does he know you stole them?" asked Quistis, looking at Rikku. She shrugged.
"Probably thinks Yuffie did it," Rikku said with a shrug, trying to fashion the back underwear like a headband, and not succeeding.
"Do you plan on telling him?" asked Selphie, helping Rikku get the underwear right.
"Not really..." Rikku trailed off. There was a knock at the door.
"I'll get it," said Quistis as Selphie accomplished the underwear to look like Rikku's blue headband. As Quistis went off to the door, Selphie and Rikku tried to fashion the other underwear into headgear.
"We should sell some of these on E-Bay," Selphie said. Rikku nodded in agreement, making one of the pairs of underwear into a hat for an old man.
Quistis opened the door to find Cloud, Vincent, and Iverne standing there. Cloud had a look that was a cross of embarrassment and urgency. Vincent looked blank, as usual, but the trace of a smile was getting more and more apparent. Vincent just looked amused.
"Cloud can't find his underwear," Vincent said, making Iverne giggle. Cloud glared at him, and he shrugged.
"Who iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis it?" Rikku asked, who was twirling with the underwear on her head in the bedroom.
"Cloud, Vincent, and Iverne," Quistis said.
"Let them in!" said Selphie, who was trying to suppress a giggle. Quistis shrugged and let them in.
"How long has his underwear been missing?" asked Quistis.
"Since this morning," said Cloud sadly, making Quistis try and suppress a laugh. She and Vincent exchanged looks, and Quistis shrugged.
"These all the people you could get on the 'Find The Underwear Party'?" Quistis asked, trying to make conversation.
"You're the second people we visited," Iverne said. "We tried Squall and Zell first, but when we told them what happened, Zell burst into uncontrollable laughter. When we left Squall was trying to sedate him."
"Well," Quistis said as Cloud and Iverne sat down (Vincent remained standing), "it is a very funny matter..." Cloud glared.
"What's up?" Rikku asked, as she and Selphie came in. Selphie sat down next to Iverne, and Rikku remained standing, hands on her hips, black underwear that looked like her headband still in place.
"Cloud's lost his underwear," Quistis said, raising an eyebrow.
"I see..." said Rikku, rubbing her chin and trying to act serious. "Well, this is a serious matter..."
"Is that my underwear?" Cloud asked. Rikku smiled nervously.
"Maybe..." she said, giggling.
"DID YOU THREE STEAL MY UNDERWEAR???" Cloud yelled, standing up.
"I didn't steal it with her!" Selphie said in her defense. "I just cheered her on!"
"I wasn't even there when the plan was devised," Quistis said.
"Is that even the right word to use? Devised?" Vincent asked. Quistis shrugged. Cloud looked at Rikku in fury for an answer.
"Cu E cduma ouin ihtanfayn?" Rikku asked with a shrug.
"What did you say?" asked Cloud. He turned to Quistis and Selphie. "What did she say?"
"She said that she stole your underwear," Selphie said.
"Lies!" said Cloud, thrusting his fist into the air.
"E's hud meaehk. E's zicd cbaygehk eh y myhkiyka dryd oui tuh'd ihtancdyht," Rikku said, trying to hide her laughter at the fact that Cloud couldn't speak Al Bhed.
"I think maybe we should sedate Cloud now," Iverne whispered to Selphie. She nodded and grabbed a tranquilizer gun.
As Cloud ranted on, Selphie gave the gun to Vincent who aimed it at Cloud's butt. Right before Cloud was about to rip the underwear off Rikku's head, Vincent fired.
Iverne and Vincent, with the help of Squall and Zell (who had finally stopped laughing), dragged Cloud back to his house.
In the end, Rikku sold all of the underwear (save for the black ones and two other pairs for Selphie and Quistis) on E-Bay. Cloud was able to buy most of it back, but a lot of it was purchased by other random Final Fantasy characters that now wear the underwear on their heads, as it is a new fad. Even Mukki participated in the fad, which was more then slightly disturbing for poor Cloud.
Suck it up.
A/N: Next chapter, Rikky steals Selphie's bra! Please reveiw and tell me what to do next. I promise, it'll be lots of fun...