"Oh, Peter!" she exclaimed as the two of them rolled through the grass. "We must get back to the house. It's almost dinnertime, and your sisters must have…"

"Now, now, Katniss," Peter said. "Let's just enjoy this beautiful day."

Peter and Katniss Everdeen-Pevensie were out in the fields near the woods. They had gone out for a walk, for a break away from people. Right now, their house in the Victors' Village was occupied by relatives and loved ones, who were visiting for Midsummer.

Katniss stood up. She held out her hand, and helped up her husband.

"Your sisters have probably made a fantastic dinner, and Peeta must have made something tasty, also," she said. "We shouldn't rebuff them- we're required to compliment their culinary talents and skills."

Peter laughed and kissed his wife on the top of her head.

"Let's head home, in that case," he said.

They headed off.

At Katniss and Peter's house in the Victors' Village, Lucy, Susan, and Peeta were working hard in the kitchen, preparing a meal and dessert to remember. Susan was in a foul mood, and was chopping the onions like a ninja.

"I can't believe she would say that about me!" Susan said. "Hermione Weasley, of all people! I would never have expected her to be such a gossip!"

"She had to tell the doctors why you were such a mess," Lucy said, consolingly. "The way you looked when she took you to the hospital…"

"That doesn't matter," Susan replied. "I feel like someone snitched on me."

"You did nothing wrong," Lucy said. "I mean, it is awkward, wetting yourself and then breaking a-"

"Shut up, Lucy!" Susan scowled. "I'll show that Herman Weasles what's up! She'll regret her utter impudence!"

Peeta was quiet for a bit.

Then he said, "I think Hermione is nice."

"You've met her?" Lucy asked.

"Once." Peeta shrugged. "That's not long enough to truly know someone, but she seemed okay and all. I met her during the Victor Tour, in District 7."

"I would have never expected her to work in the lumber business." Lucy sighed.

"She doesn't work in the lumber business!" Susan snapped. "The only stupid dumb thing she does is chant incantations over trees that are going to be made into wands!"

"You need to stop having a grudge on her," Lucy advised, "or else you're just going to bring misery upon yourself."

Into the kitchen walked Lucy's husband and favorite cousin Eustace.

"Is the food ready yet?" he asked.

"No," Lucy replied. "Be patient."

"And remember to shut up!" hollered Susan. "Outta the kitchen, Useless Eustace!"

Eustace ran out of the kitchen for dear life, frightened by Susan's temper.

"You didn't have to be so mean," Lucy said to her cranky sister.

"I don't care!"

"Susan, do I have to ring mother about this? She won't be happy about the long distance costs when she finds out the reason behind it."

"That doesn't matter! I want your loser hubby to not interfere with our culinary practices!"

"Chill out, Susan," Peeta said. "I mean, come one, we're all hungry. Eustace just wanted to fill up, that's all."

"At least my husband isn't as impudent as him," Susan said. "He's a real hotty, also. By the way, Peeta, are you still engaged to that hag Johanna?"

"She's not a hag, she's a lady," Peeta replied. "Also, she told me I had to marry her, because taxes are too tough for someone of her salary. I don't want to marry her, but that's the way it has to be."

Susan's husband Gale walked into the kitchen.

"Eustace just ran up the stairs and said this kitchen is a torturarium," he said. "Susan, were you yelling at him again?"

Susan glared at him.

"I told him to leave in a very sweet and sugary voice," she said. "Now get out, Gale! Scat! Or I'll divorce you and force you to pay an intense alimony!"

Gale left the kitchen, feeling a bit snubbed.

Katniss and Peter arrived at the house.

"Ow!" Peter hissed, stubbing his toe on something. "Why is Haymitch's skateboarding helmet on the floor?!"

"I don't know," Katniss replied. "I'll take it to his and Peeta's room."

"No, I'll take it," Gale said, walking out of the kitchen. "I was going upstairs anyway. Which bunk is Haymitch's?"

"The bottom one," Katniss said. "You look really down in the face, Gale. Are you okay?"

"No. Susan threatened to divorce me, again. This time, it was either stay in the kitchen or be divorced."

"If you're unhappy with her, why don't you get a divorce?"

"I can't! If I divorce her, she'll force me to pay an intense alimony! I don't have money like that! I mean, seriously, I attend a community college and drink at the Goosey Loosey HipDown Diner Pub. How can I afford alimony?"

Just then, skateboarding down the banister, Haymitch came down the stairs.

"Hey, lookee!" he hollered. "There's my helmet! Katniss, I'll be back a little after dark."

"No, you won't." Katniss stood akimbo. "Dinner is going to start soon."

"But Katniss-!"

"No, Haymitch. Dinner is dinner. You have to eat something."

Haymitch frowned.

"First you make me go to the doctor for a checkup, now you make me eat dinner…"

"Of course. Now, go and wash your hands. The food should be ready any minute now."

As matriarch of the household, Katniss's mother Gorse was supposed to say the pre-dinner prayer.

"Dear Lord," she said, "we sure are thankful for this food. Thank you for the wonderful people who prepared it: sweet and gentle Lucy, honest and kind Peeta, and cranky and rude and callous Susan. Thank you that we all get to be here this fine and lovely Midsummer Eve, and please help us to have fun at the community dance tonight, even though Greasy Sae's son keeps hitting on me. Please help him to be dumb enough to think that Haymitch and I are dating. Anyways, please make it so that there are no tapeworms or genetically modified spiders in this food. Also, please make Prim's vampire stop torturing us. In Your name we pray, amen."

The dinner went fine, and all.

Except that Eustace kept sneezing on the food due to allergies.

And Susan kept stabbing her food with her chopsticks, muttering, "Die, Hermione! Die!"

And the rat dog kept jumping on the table, and, since it cruel, kept insulting all of the guys' fingernail polish.

Suddenly, though, there was a knock at the door.

"I'll answer it!" Effie hollered, blinking so swiftly that her mascara dried up and fell in her food.

Opening the door, she was surprised to see such unfashionable people as can be.

"My, oh, my!" she said to the tall, grey-cloaked, tan man with a big white beard standing before her. "Who are you?"

"I am called Gandalf," the man said. He was hold a staff, which he was busy using the poke back the four short guys who were standing behind him.

"I have never heard of a Gandalf," Effie replied. "Are you one of the witchcraft practitioners from District 7?"

"I have spent some time there, which is where I learned to be a wizard," Gandalf said. "I have found a wonderful life there, aside from the wizards Sauron and Saruman trying to kill me. I have come back to my wife and daughters, requesting that they come to live with me and my wonderful life."

"Melmon?" Gorse asked. She stood up from the table, and walked over to Gandalf. "I can't believe it's you!"

She gave Gandalf a kiss right on the lips.

"Katniss, honey!" she said. "Remember your father?"

"Oh, Daddy!" Katniss said, running over to Gandalf and giving him a hug. "I can't believe it's you! Actually, I can't believe it. How do I know it's you?"

Gandalf reached into his pocket, and pulled out something.

"This is my tribal citizenship card," he said, handing it to Katniss.

It said:

Eastern Seam Nation

Name: Melmon Everdeen

Birthdate: 6/6/66

Eye color: Grey

Favorite color: Grey

Gender: Male

Relationship status: Unknown

Gender interested in: Unknown

Amputations/Prosthetic limbs: Unknown

Blood-percentage: 74.32%

Occupation: Bum

"I haven't updated it in a while," Gandalf said. "But now do you believe it's me?"

"Of course, Daddy!" Katniss was so overjoyed.

"But where is Prim?" Gandalf asked.

"She died some years ago," Gorse said, solemnly. "Now, her vampire is after us, chasing us around outside at night and climbing through our windows at night and blogging rude things about us at night."

"I can't believe either of our daughters would be so cruel!" Gandalf was appalled. "Neither of them would ever hurt a fly!"

"Why don't you sit down?" Gorse inquired. "We're having dinner."

"Excellent!" Gandalf smiled. "My four guests, though, will require books stacked on their seats in order to reach the table top."

"Are they little people?"

"Technically, maybe. Their height is more so due to their ethnicity, the hobbits. They can be found all over the northern part of District 7, known as Washingtobritishcolumbia. The southern part, Oregonortherncalifornia, is more so populated by elves, an anorexic race of people who are known to fall off horses."

The first hobbit was apparently named Frodo Matthew Baggins. He introduced himself to Katniss, whom he took to be the leader of everyone in the house.

"Nice to meet you, Frodo," Katniss replied. "May I be introduced to your friends?"

"These are my cousins Meriodic Vincent Brandybuck and Peregrin Falcon Took," Frodo said. "And this here is my loyal gardener and friend Samwise Josephus Gamgee."

"Good day, Samwise," Katniss said. "You resemble in appearance and polite appearance my loyal baker and friend Peeta."

"I told him that," Frodo said. "He looks like a smaller version of Peeta, acts as loyal and honest as Peeta, and kisses me as much as Peeta kisses you."

"Well, don't worry. We support a wide variety of lifestyles here."

"He doesn't kiss me like that. I mean, we're just friends. I mean…"

"Peeta sure was a real dingbat, though. He took all my affection to be romantic, instead of an excessively friendly way to trick the reality TV addicts. He sure got cross with me for breaking his heart into two wee pieces."

"Well, Sam has a girlfriend. Her name is Rosie Cotton. It used to be Rosie Tyler, until, for immigration purposes, she changed it."

Everyone ate the whole dinner.

There were no leftovers, because the hobbits and Eustace ate so much.

It was delicious.