Neku wasn't sure why he woke up when he did, or even how as it was so bright and early and he was unused to being up at this time, but here he was, awake and strangely coherent. All he knew was that there was a slumbering form next to him that he was pretty sure wasn't there when he went to sleep. The smell of strawberries and a faint hint of musk drifted into his nostrils, and he didn't have to look over to find that it was indeed Joshua, the boy who had killed him.
Well, he reasoned, he had gotten over that by now. Three years certainly does that to a person, nevertheless the fact that they had been meeting off and on for a while during those few years after the game.
It wasn't like it was that much, seeing as how it started out a year ago with a few glances in the crowd, and turning back and seeing some flash of purple eyes or some flash of that unreal silver hair. Then he started seeing the boy's (should he call him that?) face, and then he was openly staring at the pale figure that had graced his dreams for a while still after the game (not that he would admit anything like that, even now).
It had started out so normal. The first thing Joshua said (after a few times of Neku's being caught openly staring) was, "See something you like, Neku?"
And Neku had fumed as per usual, not really feeling up to answering Joshua, as it still had been two years without hide nor tail of the slender silvret, and sure he'd forgiven him a little, but the wound was still healing, after all. He just answered by walking away and going back to wherever it was that he was going, which at that particular moment was Hachiko, to meet up with new (or old, really, as it was quite a while after the game) friends for a movie date.
The next time was when he was out shopping at 104, browsing the sale rack, as money was so hard to come by now that he was out of the game. He had been staring at a shirt that just screamed Joshua, as the pale boy was always on his mind for some reason nowadays. He held up the offending shirt, noting for the first time that it was pink and had some kind of girly design on it, and took pride in the fact that this was so, and it still looked like Joshua would wear it. He chuckled to himself and somehow found himself buying it anyways, because he was a sappy sentimental, and figured that it was only 640 yen anyways on sale, so it wasn't like it was burning a hole in his pocket or anything.
Joshua had been outside the shop, drinking some hyped-up slushy and giggled, "Why, I'd be happy to try it on for you, Neku" like he knew Neku's trail of thought (and he probably did, knowing the composer). Neku just huffed without real heat and walked away.
The third time was perhaps the strangest of them all, as he wasn't even doing anything, just sitting in some café and eating a hamburger, thinking, and suddenly Joshua was there, right beside him, stealing a fry and taking a bite like nothing was the matter. Neku wasn't sure how he did it, but damn, how could he be so seductive with that fry, swirling his tongue around it (ka-ZAM! straight to his groin) and oh shit, now he was looking at him.
"Why Neku, shame on you. Having such dirty thoughts about me," Joshua smirked and giggled that stupid, annoying high-pitched giggle that Neku had admittedly missed for a while and which still haunted his dreams.
Neku had sputtered indignantly, taking his half-eaten meal and getting up to throw it away and go away, to reclaim his dignity if nothing else. While walking away, he heard a frustrated, "You don't have to walk away all the time," and he almost turned back, but kept going as he thought about the stupid fry and those oh-so-delectable lips and—oh god. He was crushing on that bastard. This made him book it for home, and he didn't stop until he was safely at home and on his bed. He was still turned on, but figured that the bastard would probably watch anyways, and so Neku went to bed feeling frustrated both mentally and sexually. It was no guess what his dreams involved that night.
Throughout the rest of the year, Joshua would appear at random intervals, apparently trying to make Neku's life a complete hell as he flirted and did some more things with his skilled (Neku did have to admit) tongue. Always Neku would blurt out some lame excuse, or just fume silently, and escape to the nearest place, whether it be his house or one of his friends' place.
He usually sat there, radiating embarrassment, and complained to the nearest available person. Which usually was Shiki. Now, he did admit that he might've had some feelings for her during the game, but they were somewhat squashed as he found himself admiring a certain someone, to the point of questioning his fragile sexuality, and it didn't help when Shiki said all of a sudden, "You know, he still likes you."
Neku blinked. "Who?"
Shiki groaned. "Joshua. Weren't we talking about him just seconds ago? Jeeze, you're such a head case."
"Am not!" Neku said, huffing.
"Are too," Shiki retorted, mock-angry. They stared at each other a while before they burst out laughing. They quieted and Shiki said after a while, "You know, I'm serious."
"About what?"
"God, you are so dense sometimes!" Shiki groaned. "Joshua. Liking you."
"Well, duh," Neku grumbled irritably. A few years ago, he mightn't have thought so, but things change, and friendships don't stay the same. "Of course he does. That's why he's so intent on bothering me. Even I know that."
Shiki giggled a bit, but quieted down, looking thoughtful. "But you like him too."
"Wh-what are you—" Neku started to say, but was interrupted.
"Oh, please," Shiki interrupted, "It's written all over your face. 'Oh Joshua, please take me!' "
"Wh-what, I don't—" Neku started to say, but a glare from Shiki was all it took for him to shut his mouth. "W-well, you shouldn't be saying that, he might hear."
Shiki giggled. "Then let him. It might change something. It sure would be better than running away all the time."
"I don't run away, I just…" Neku trailed off, words lost as he realized that running away was exactly what he had been doing, all those times. Was all he good for just running away? His brows furrowed.
Shiki's voice brought him out of his mind and into the present. "Well, if you want to change that, then maybe you should talk to him for once?"
Neku gave a start. "And say what, exactly?"
"Oh, I don't know. 'Joshua, I've wanted you for sooo long,' " Shiki joked, giggling. Neku sputtered. Her voice took a more serious edge. "How about telling him how you feel?"
"It's not that easy," Neku mumbled, but in his mind he knew she was right. Things couldn't go on the way they were. He knew Joshua might like to play cat-and-mouse a lot, but he was sure even Joshua was getting tired of it. Neku certainly was.
A thought crossed into his mind. "But what about us?"
"What about us?" Shiki questioned.
"I mean, you, me…" Neku tried to say it, but couldn't. The words died on his lips.
Shiki smiled, a bit sadly, but still happily. "You know I think of you as a brother, Neku."
"But didn't you have feelings for me at all?"
"I did," Shiki looked down a bit. Then she looked up, right into Neku's eyes and said, "I know I didn't have a chance though."
"Aw, c'mon Shiki, you know I-"
"No, I'm serious," Shiki calmly said, "Please listen to me. I knew I didn't have a chance, because you were so caught up in Joshua. I saw the way you looked at him, even after the game. I always saw him there, looking at us, or you, actually. It took you a while to notice him, but when you did, you had this smile on your face, one that I'd never seen before in all of the game. You only smile like that for him, whether you realize it or not. Yes, I might have had feelings for you, but I knew what love looks like, and boy, do you have it bad." She finished up with a big grin, making Neku blush considerably.
"So you're sure I should tell him?" Neku asked lamely.
Shiki giggled. "Of course, silly. Now go get him." And with that, she pushed him out of her room and promptly shut the door on him. He stared at the wood for a few seconds before he sighed. He figured Shiki was right and all, but that didn't make this any less hard.
His trip home was a long one. A few times he felt like he was being watched, but he turned around and nothing was there. Prickly bastard, he thought, because he was not as dense as he looked, and he knew of only one person who would do that without being seen. Why do I even bother? But he knew why he bothered. It just took him a while to actually have the bravery to admit it.
He reached the door of his house and let himself in. "I'm home!"
Silence reached him. He sighed. He had forgotten—his parents were away on vacation. God, you'd have thought almost losing their son would have done some damage. Guess they really are happy-go-lucky after all.
With a frown on his face, he trudged upstairs, feeling of foreboding settling into place after the frustration had faded away. He reached his room and promptly fell on his bed with a big fwoosh, thinking. How the hell was he going to do this? He wasn't very skilled in the art of…whatever this was. Like, love, it didn't matter. His whole life, he had shunned people away, never trusting them. It was only fitting that he had absolutely no experience of love, or confessions, or especially sex. He gulped. He really hoped it didn't come down to that, because just confessing is enough to overload his mind, forget actual sex.
He groaned. Way to go, mind. "Stupid prickly bastard, making me think like that. I'm so going to throttle him when I see him."
"Hm, would that be now or later?" Neku heard his voice before he saw him, and jumped up when Joshua's body suddenly appeared out of thin air. He gasped, stuttering.
"My, my, Neku, at a loss for words? I know my very presence is very handsome, but please, if I'd have thought you'd have something to say."
"No, you bastard! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" He managed to get out, glaring at his new companion and decidedly ignoring the last part. "Don't do that!"
Said companion smirked, giving a gentle shrug. "Oh dear, but I thought you were so used to me. You seem to be in your sleep~." And this was followed by a predatory gleam in his eyes, at which Neku sputtered, turned a deep red, and promptly grabbed a pillow and threw it at Joshua.
It hit Joshua square in the head, and while he was surprised that Joshua hadn't caught it with his so-called godly powers, Neku couldn't help smirking as the Composer fell down onto the bed with a satisfying thump.
It took all of three seconds for the smaller boy to go from shocked to annoyed to amused as he picked up a pillow and whacked Neku with it.
"Y-you…you'll pay!" Neku growled out, and soon a decidedly immature and somehow fun pillow fight was fought. It was, however, clear who was the winner, as in about thirty seconds Joshua had Neku pinned down to the mattress, which earned an undignified squeak from the orange-haired boy.
"L-let me go!" Neku protested feebly, which earned him a giggle and a surprisingly tight grip on his arms.
"Nuh-uh," Joshua grinned. "I win. What's my prize?"
"I don't know," Neku mumbled lamely, fully aware with a cringe how breathy he sounded.
"Hmm," Joshua pretended to think, "I think I'll have…you." And with that, he closed the distance between them and placed a kiss on Neku's lips.
Whether he intended to or not, as soon as Joshua's lips met his, Neku immediately wrapped his arms around the pale boy and tangled his hands in the silver locks, pulling the boy closer. Joshua smirked into the kiss, and apparently took this as a willing sign from his partner, and bit gently on Neku's bottom lip. Neku gasped at the somehow pleasurable pain and opened his mouth, leaving Joshua room to enter it and do something with his tongue and—oh god it felt so good. Just as soon as it had started, though, it ended, and left Neku panting slightly. Joshua, he noticed satisfyingly, was somewhat breathy as well.
Neku blushed and held a hand unconsciously to his lips, missing the pressure on his lips immediately. Joshua noticed this with a smirk, leaving Neku to flush even more as Joshua still wouldn't get off of him, goddammit this is a problem. "Are you…" His voice was rough. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Are you going to get off of me anytime soon?"
Joshua grinned. "Nope."
Neku sighed. "Don't you do anything normally?" he wondered aloud, not realizing he had said it until a predatory gleam had taken residence in Joshua's eyes.
"Why, dear," and he emphasized this part all-too-well. "Whatever do you mean?"
Neku sighed again. "You know, flowers, date, romance. I thought you weren't supposed to do this on the first date." He knew he was being forward, but dammit, this was Joshua, and he knew the Composer had been listening to him and Shiki anyways, so he might as well be honest.
"My, my, Neku, are you saying that this was your first kiss?" Joshua giggled.
Neku flushed, grumbling, "What's it to you?"
"Oh, Neku, I never knew," Joshua smirked. Bastard, Neku thought, he probably knew all along. But a thought struck him, and he was surprised it didn't strike him earlier.
"So…uh…why all this?" he asked.
"Hm? Why the kiss?"
"No! I figure I know that," Neku grumbled. "I mean why do you just suddenly appear out of nowhere? After two years?"
Joshua leaned back, shading his eyes with his hair. "I…guess I don't know, myself."
Neku gave him a shocked look. He never expected him to answer truthfully. Well, I'll be damned, maybe some things can change. He started to form a reply. "Well…"
But then Joshua looked up again, and Neku trailed off, words lost at the sudden vulnerable look in the Composer's eyes. He had a sudden feeling that Joshua wasn't really done yet, and even though he wasn't known for his people-skills, he decided that he would let him continue. Just this once, though.
"Why, indeed?" Joshua pondered, not looking at Neku. "After the Game, I figured I'd leave you alone, let you have your chance at life and whatnot. I figured you didn't need a constant reminder of the Game around, and you seem to be the type that doesn't really forgive easily.
"I don't know why, but every time I went to check on Shibuya, I would inevitably find myself being around you. I was sure you couldn't see me, and I made it that way so I could watch you unobserved. It went on for a while, but one day you just looked my way and just stared, like you knew I was watching. It really…confused me. And I don't get confused easily. So I let myself slip, just once, and showed myself to you. I guess it was about 8 months ago. I was ready to call it quits, but then you just…smiled at me."
Neku frowned. Since when did he smile at him? But his thoughts were interrupted as the smaller boy went on.
"You very easily scared me, right then and there. I was about to leave, but you said my name. I don't know why, but I was so…drawn to you. Even during the Game. Especially during the game," At this, the Composer's eyebrows furrowed. "I couldn't believe it at first. So I stayed back, watching you and your friends. You seemed so…happy. I didn't want to ruin that. But you kept on looking at me in that strange way, and I figured to hell with it. It still took some courage to actually go up to you and talk.
"And to think that you actually ran away! It was very infuriating, having you do that. I mean, I know I wasn't very…proper, but it beat having nothing. And then I found myself hanging around you more and more. I couldn't get you out of my head. To think that I, Composer of all Shibuya, would fall for an ignorant human was beyond me. Sanae didn't help much; he just gave me these knowing smiles that just annoyed me so much. It was his idea that I talk to you in the first place.
"And then I overheard you at that girl's house. Imagine my confusion when you not only talked about me, but about love and silly things that girls talk about. I had hoped you would have gone for the girl, but imagine my surprise when apparently it was common knowledge that you had a crush on me. Apparently I missed the memo. So I followed you home, and somehow ended up at this," Joshua frowned deeper, but seemed at an end to his story.
Even though Neku was surprised at his partner's sudden openness, he did what immediately came to his mind and reached up to kiss Joshua fiercely on the lips. It took only a second for Joshua to regain his composure before he was kissing back just as fierce, and the two boys stayed like that for a while before they came up for air.
"You idiot," Neku murmured when they had parted, foreheads resting against each other's. "It took you this long to realize that I'm madly in love with you?"
Joshua gave him a shaky grin. "Well, love seems to be the only thing not ruled by the Composer."
Neku laughed. "And I'm so glad for that." And he kissed him again, as passionately, and as lovingly as he could muster. And he knew, without a doubt, that things would only get better from here.
"Hey, get your hand away from there!"
Well, some things.