Nitghtmares

Will worries.

He'd shut out his family, brother included when their mother had died but he wasn't stupid. He was a doctor after all. Will knew what was happening to their mother. He'd just shut everything out. Jay arguing with their father, his obvious trauma from fighting a war,. Will had seen what combat could do to a person; he knew Jay had seen more than he would ever tell anyone.

Will had crashed back into reality at some point. Recognizing that his family had fallen apart somewhere along the way, while he'd partied, started a career and messed up his career. Coming back to Chicago, seeing Jay again, trying to rebuild a relationship with him was difficult.

He was left worrying. Jay was closed off, unable to rely on Will in any way. Not used to having anyone there to lean on except maybe Mouse. He'd been the friend that had pulled Jay home from Afghanistan mostly in one piece, but not quite.

Will never asked his bother about his service, he only knew that he hadn't been there when Jay had been at his lowest. He'd failed him. Will never questioned Jay about the scar on his neck, but he knows what a scar from a tracheotomy looks like. Jay had been hurt, but he never talked about it, never. And Will never asked. He tried to look into his brother's medical file at Med, but there was nothing in there about any injury or follow up after one, there was nothing that indicated what had happened.

So Will worries about his brother. Jay who always seemed to bounce back from anything, but lately he's been looking tired. Worn out somehow, a bit pale, moving slower than normal.

Living together makes it easier to keep an eye on Jay. Staying on his brother's couch it's easy to know when Jay sleeps and when he dreams. Will isn't up to date on the diagnostic criteria for PTSD but he's pretty sure this is what's wrong with his brother.

Tossing and turning, small whimpers ending up in a cry, cut short by Jay waking up. Then the lights in the bathroom turning on, the water running in the sink, and later turning back to bed, nightmares. Will is pretty certain something has triggered Jay, and nightmares are interrupting his sleep almost every night.

It's a week of Will also losing sleep before he gets up to check on Jay when he hears him at two in the morning. He knocks on the bathroom door, hearing his brother's harsh breaths inside the small room.

"Jay….you okay? "

He knocks again, "Jay? Answer me,, are you okay?"

When there's no answer he carefully opens the door, afraid of what he'll find but still ready to face his brother's pain. Because he owes him, this time he's not running away from what's going on.

Jay is on the floor. Leaning against the bathtub, his t-shirt soaked through around his neck, eyes shut tight, dark lashes against pale skin, freckles standing out harshly in the bathroom light. There's evidence of tears, wet stains in his face. Jay's knees are drawn up to his chest, arms resting on his knees.

Will get down on his knees, still not touching his brother, not knowing if Jay knows he's there yet.

"Jay, hey, I'm here….you're okay…"

Jay still doesn't give him anything, he's eyes firmly shut, breaths coming in short gasps.

" Hey, Jay, it's Will, you're okay, just try to slow down…open your eyes for me please," Will knows he needs to get his brother back to the here and now to stop the vicious cycle of memories he's in at the moment. He's not sure of how to do it, but if he can get Jay to look at him, he might be able to pull him out of it.

"Jay, I'm going to touch your knee…please open your eyes for me, just so I know you're with me.."

Touching him makes them both startle, Jay opening his eyes and trying to pull away, Will lifting his hand from where he touched his brother's knee.

Jay's eyes search the room, obviously disoriented about where he is, finally landing on Will, recognition finally settling in.

"You're okay; it was just a dream…." He inches closer to his brother, his back also against the bathtub, shoulder to shoulder, feeling his brother's uncoordinated breaths, panic still coursing through his body, adrenaline still burning bright in his eyes searching him out.

"Slow down, or you'll pass out, count to five…hold on…let it out slow.." Will tries to get Jay to follow his lead, slowing down his breaths. He sneaks an arm around Jay's shoulders, hoping his presence helps him back to reality.

Will can feel Jay's trembling subside after a few minutes of trying to make him slow his breaths down. He can feel his little brother come back to himself in increments. First his breathing slows, the shaking subsides, and then he hides his face in his arms that still rest on his drawn up knees. When Jay leans away from him he can tell his brother is finally fully back with him.

"I'm fine…" Jay's voice is hoarse when he finally speaks. He turns his head away from his arms to look at Will with bloodshot eyes.

"Yeah, you are…" Will lies, knowing how far from fine his brother is, but he can't confront him with that at the moment.

He drags Jay closer, his arm around his shoulders, needing to keep him close; afraid he'll disappear back into his nightmares again.

They sit in silence until Will' eyes start slipping shut, Jay still leaning against him.