Harry and Ron were walking down the hall in their fourth year at Hogwarts and some Revenclaws were staring at Harry. Cho looked at him.

"Hello, Harry!" she cried out.

"Get away, you, you, you girl!!! Get over me, I'm gay!!!" Harry said as he walked off with Ron.

"Girls disgust me!" Ron whispered in an undertone as soon as they left. Just then, Hermione ran up.

"Ron," she said breathlessly, "I need to ask you something important..."

"Goshers, I am NOT going to marry you Hermione. Neither is Harry. We are over girls!" Hermione looked heartbroken.

"Are you serious?" Hermione asked.

"Farewell Hermione!" Harry and Ron cried, over their shoulders. Hermione ran to the bathrooms, crying.

"Gee, Granger, I like your hair today!" Malfoy exclaimed, pulling out a smashed daisy out of his pocket and giving it to her.

"Malfoy, please tell me you are still straight!" begged Hermione.

"Hermione will you marry me?" Malfoy proposed.

"Malfoy, willingly! You have the beauty of a new flower in the morn-" she was interrupted by a scream of joy coming out of Malfoy's mouth.

"Never mind, bushy, I see Cedric, the hot one!"

(Sighs from the girls) Cedric strutted down the corridor towards Malfoy as Malfoy strutted down the hallway towards Cedric.

"Play theme music, everybody!" Colin squeaked.

"Both!" cried Cedric.

I'm bringin' sexy back

I'm too sexy for my shirt

"Shut up Cedric, we're playing MY theme music!"

"Ok, Ferret!"

"Don't call me that!" Draco snapped

"You didn't seem to mind last night…"

Them other boys don't know how to act

I think it's special what's behind your back

So turn around and I'll pick up the slack

Dirty Babe

You see these shackles baby I'm your slave

I'll let you whip me if I misbehave

Draco and Cedric stepped up to each other and kissed…dirtily!

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!" all the girls screamed.

"Hey, Harry, let's do that too!" Ron was getting…suggestive!

"Ew, no, Ron! You're not hot! No offence…"

"Harry, you offend me. I'm going to go screw someone else!"

"Ron, you never screwed me."

"Whatever…will you look at that hair, that nose, that ass!"

"Ron, are you KIDDING me? Are you looking at SNAPE?"

"He is the sex…totally!" Ron exclaimed.