Hi there! ^-^
I know I should be writing on the fourth chapter of 'Moonlight', but I just had to write this one-shot (I couldn't get it out of my mind).
"Spring' nicht" is german for: "Don't jump", just to explain the title.
Warning: This is gonna be sad, believe me.
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!
Spring nicht (Don't jump)
A chill breeze made Ryou shiver and his long white hair wave in the darkness that surrounded him from all sides. Small rain drops whipped against his pale face, making it hard for him to see. The light of the moon shined down on him, causing his hair to shimmer like silver and where the moonlight touched Ryou's skin, he seemed even paler than he actually was, almost transparent, more like a ghost than a human.
Making a step forward, Ryou looked up into the pitch-black sky, where only some gray clouds and nothing else were visible, whirling around, apparently chasing each other.
More rain drops landed on Ryou's face, blending with the salty tears that trickled down his pale face continuously in almost the same paths.
Drip, drip, drip...
The tears ran down to his chin, where they fell and eventually, landed on the ground.
Ryou lowered his gaze again, not looking down, but straight forward. He was able to look up to the ocean in spite of the darkness, he was able to look over all the other high-rise buildings of Domino City, its bright lights far below. Far, far below.
Ryou gulped and clenched his fist tightly to stop himself from backing off now.
He had it already made up to here, he wouldn't turn round. He wouldn't show weakness by copping out now. It was too late... Nothing could change his mind anymore. Not now... This decision was made long ago...
Inhaling the cold air deeply, Ryou made another step forward towards the edge of the roof he stood on, the roof of the highest building in Domino City. And he was at the very top of it.
He looked down at what he held in his hand. A rose. A black rose...
Then, Ryou closed his eyes, rain drops still falling down in him. He put his hand to his chest, touching the cold metal object that hung around his neck. The Millenium Ring. The thing, the only thing, that connected him really to him. The ring was their only similarity, besides their looks...
And Ryou had wished that there would have been more than only the ring that connected them, but on the face of it, there wasn't.
How often had he tried to find more similarities? How often? How much pain had this caused him? How much? And what had he gotten in the end? Nothing, besides more pain. Pain and insults and sorrow.
How often had he tried to show him what he meant to him? How often had he wished that he could at least be a friend for him? And how often had he imagined how it would be if he would at least be nice to him?
Too often...
And no matter how often he had tried or wished or imagined all that, it never had made anything better at all. Never...
And now?
Now it was time to... end it. Ryou was sick and tired of it. Of him. Of everything. Of his life. He couldn't bear it any longer. He had waited already too long.
Nothing would change. So... what reasons were there to wait nevertheless? None. There was no reason for Ryou to hold on any longer. He had made his decision.
And he didn't care what other people would think about that. After all, nobody had ever really cared about him, so why should he care about others?
Ryou made another step forward, his toes already at the edge of the roof. The wind was getting stronger, causing Ryou to stagger slightly. Cold air hit his face, making him shiver once again.
Ryou spread his arms, the black rose in one hand, the other hand empty.
After that, he opened his eyes again and looked around in the darkness, the ocean of lights below him.
Ryou inhaled and exhaled and then, he shut his eyes again.
//It won't be that bad//, he thought, smiling bitterly. //Everything that comes now will be much better...//
...............
He ran. And ran and ran and ran. He had stitches in his side. He had to find him, before... He didn't want to think it.
The letter was in his hands, already wet because of the rain, as he ran along the lighted streets, looking for the person that looked so similar to him. The same long white hair, the same pale skin, almost the same person. Almost, but not quite.
Ryou was softer than he himself and more innocent. Ryou had soft features, he was... Ryou was the opposite of him, but the same nevertheless, as strange as that may sound.
//Fuck, I have to find him//, Bakura thought. //Quickly...//
Bakura's first thought when he'd found the letter laying on the kitchen table had been, that Ryou was joking. But his second thought had been that Ryou rarely joked.
And he would never joke about something like this. Never. This wasn't his nature.
I can't stand this anymore.
You won't see me ever again.
Hope your happy now.
~Ryou
//Why should I be happy?//, Bakura thought. //Who does he think he is?//
Desperately, he searched every street for Ryou, but he couldn't find him.
//How dare he to simply go away?! He's not allowed to leave! Nobody is allowed to leave me without my permission! When I get hold of him... He is in for something!//
The weather was getting worse; more rain, more wind and it got colder.
Bakura, not knowing where else he could search for Ryou, headed home, hoping that Ryou would already have returned, as he suddenly heard people shouting.
Curious, Bakura walked to them. They were pointing up into the dark sky. He looked up, too. What could be up there?
After a while, he realized that the people didn't point to the sky, but to the top of the high rise building in front of them.
Bakura narrowed his eyes, trying to make out what was up there. He noticed a black shadow at the top of the building. A person.
A smirk crawled on his face. //Seems like a desperate person is trying to kill themselves//, he thought. //This will be quite a show...//
However, his smirk faded as he noticed white hair waving in the air up there. White hair...
Bakura's eyes widened in shock at realization.
"Dammit! Ryou!", he mumbled to himself. "Ryou!", he shouted, all eyes of the people who surrounded him were suddenly focused on him. Quickly, he stormed through the crowd, pushing people roughly aside on his way.
"RYOU!!!", he yelled and hoped his hikari could hear him. But the figure up at the very top of the building showed no reaction.
For a moment, Bakura felt like he was frozen on the spot. He... hadn't thought Ryou would... do this. He had thought that Ryou would just run away, leave the city, something like that. But he hadn't considered Ryou would commit suicide...
//Damn!//, he cursed and snapped out of his frozen state, running quickly towards the front door of the building. It was unlocked, fortunately, so he went in and pressed the button of the elevator.
"Come on, come on", he whispered, nervous. It seemed like an eternity for the elevator to come down, but finally, Bakura could get in. He pressed the topmost button which would bring him directly to the roof several times.
Bakura felt his heart pounding heavily against his chest. He actually was... scared.
"How can he do something like this?!", he whispered to himself, angry, and stared at the number that showed on which story the elevator was.
"Why would Ryou want to do this?", he asked himself when the number changed from four to five.
"Why would he want to kill himself?"
//Why don't you ask yourself//, a voice inside of him asked him. Bakura narrowed his eyes, but then he began to think. Was it really because... of him?
Was it because he was always rude to Ryou? Was it because he always showed him neither kindness nor... devotion?
- - - -
"Bakura, can we-"
"No! We can't! Now piss off!"
- - - -
"Bakura, I think-"
"I don't care what you think!"
- - - -
"Do you... like me?"
"How could I like such a pathetic excuse of a human like you are? I would and could never do that, mortal. I can't believe you even considered that!"
- - - -
The elevator seemed to drive slower than usual, or was it because time pressed?
While waiting for the elevator to arrive up at the top of the building, Bakura didn't know what to think.
He was confused. Why did he feel so scared about the idea of Ryou killing himself? He was after all merely a pathetic human. Like all the others. Why was Bakura scared? He was never scared of anything, he didn't know something like fear. Dammit, he was the one who should be feared, not the one fearing.
//He's not allowed to do that...// That was Bakura's excuse for those feelings. How could Ryou plan on doing this without asking him if he could? How disrespectful...
The story number changed from ten to eleven.
Bakura began to sweat. Why was this elevator so slow? Was that normal? Certainly not.
For a moment he thought that the powers that be wanted him to come too late. But he shook that thought off as fast as it managed to come into his mind.
//Ryou... if you dare to do this... then...//, he thought. But what was then? What would Bakura do if Ryou would jump?
But Bakura was sure that Ryou wouldn't jump.
//He's too much of a wimp to do that//, Bakura thought. //He doesn't have the guts to go through with this...//
Was Bakura sure about that or was this what he hoped?
The story numbers changed from twenty to twenty-one. From twenty-one to twenty-two.
It seemed as if the elevator finally sped up.
Bakura could hear his heart pounding in his whole body. He... even trembled. And he sweated.
Twenty-fifth story, twenty-sixth story, twenty-ninth story...
After the ride with the elevator had seemed to last an eternity, it finally reached the topmost story.
Bakura closed his eyes for a brief moment, before the doors opened.
He stepped out into the chilling cold that was here at the very top of the building. Shivering, he wrapped his arms around himself, scanning the roof for his hikari.
There! At the edge of the roof stood Ryou, his white hair shimmering silvery, wavering whenever a chill freeze came, his pale skin glittering under the moonlight. His arms were spread. Every moment could be his last. Bakura realized that, too.
And as he stood up there, his eyes focused on the person that was about to jump, about to end his own life, Bakura's anger changed.
"Ryou", he whispered and broke the silence of the night. Bakura made a step towards his hikari. "Ryou", he repeated.
Ryou showed no reaction that he had heard him; he just stood there, about to let himself fall.
Bakura didn't know what he should do. If he would just grab Ryou, he would startle him and then he would fall. But if he wouldn't hurry, Ryou would also fall.
Slowly and carefully, Bakura approached, whispering Ryou's name.
The anger Bakura had had for Ryou before, was gone now and replaced with anger for himself.
This... was all his fault! He'd been the one that had made Ryou's life miserable. He'd been the one who had always insulted Ryou. He'd been the one who had only cared for himself, not caring what Ryou needed, wanted, thought...
"Ryou", he said again, this time louder, but either Ryou did really not hear him or he just didn't want to hear what his yami said.
"Come on... don't... do this", he managed to say. "Step backwards... Please, Ryou"
Please... Had this word come out of his mouth ever before? No... Bakura had never pleaded. Never before...
Another breeze made both Ryou and Bakura's hair wave, rain drops hit against their faces.
"Ryou... come, turn around... take my hand", Bakura said carefully. "Don't jump..."
Ryou showed no reaction. He still stood there, his arms spread wide, in his right hand a rose. A black rose...
"Ryou.. I-" Just as Bakura was about to say something he thought he'd never say to anybody, the figure in front of him made another small step forward, so that his toes weren't on the roof anymore.
"RYOU!", Bakura shouted and began to run, run towards his hikari.
Ryou bend forwards with his whole body, ready to fall.
Bakura, his heart beat speeding and his eyes widened, now had reached the edge of the roof and wanted to catch Ryou, catch the boy and tell him that he was sorry, tell him that he wasn't worthless, that he wasn't weak, that Bakura needed him. Needed him...
But now it was too late.
All Bakura caught was air. Cold air...
Bakura fell to his knees, looking down, his eyes even wider than before.
"I'm... sorry", he said, a tear running down his pale face. "I'm sorry..."
And down at the bottom of the building, the crowd of people gathered around something that looked like a white-red dot.
The black rose petals whirled around with the chill breezes in the darkness of the night. And from not too far away, the sound of an arriving ambulance was heard...
Well, that's the end.
It would be nice to hear what you think in a review.
So don't forget to leave me one.
~Crystal of Moonlight~