Disclaimer: POT doesn't and will never belong to me.
They were on the road. Their mood so high, their happiness so contagious, they made the devil jealous.
Laughter and soft words filled the car with such tenderness. They were happy; they were going to get married.
Tezuka only had eyes for Fuji and Fuji could only see Tezuka.
They never saw the truck coming, didn't have time to see it, not until it was too late. Too late to do anything but looked helplessly at the shattering of their happiness.
Fuji's POV
The world went dark, and so cold. Kuni-chan, he shouted, or at least, he tried to shout. The darkness seems to steal the words right from his mouth. Chilled fingers ran slowly up his back, cold sweat broke out.
Where am I? He begged the sinister darkness to give him a clue. But silence was his only reply from the darkness. So dark, it almost seems the world had fallen through this black pit and entered another dimension, leaving him alone here.
Iie, onegai, don't, please don't leave me here. Where is Kuni-chan? Where is…Kuni-chan? Who is Kuni-chan? A faint face appeared in front of him, it faded as soon as Fuji took a step towards it. Its absence left such pain in Fuji's heart; he had to hug his middle to stop the throbbing.
"Fuji, Fuji?" a soft voice broke through the blackness. He desperately tried to fix the location of the voice and to give it a face. Nothing came. It was so achingly familiar, so familiar, but… it was just as foreign.
He torn the webs of fogginess and dragged his heavy body towards the voice. Wait, he wanted to cry out, wait for me, I am here, don't go yet.
The voice faded and he was alone again, alone against the demons lurking menacingly within the dark pit.
Then he heard a scream, realizing finally that it was his. He found his voice. But it was still so dark, although there were spots of light dancing, like ghostly lanterns swaying against some cold wind.
"He's awake…"
"Neh, why is he looking so blankly at us?"
"Could be shock…"
"Call the doctor…"
Fuji shut his eyes again, if he could know for sure he had opened them in the first place. The voices seemed to magnify and it hurt his head. Go away, he wanted to order, leave me alone, bring me Kuni… Kunimi… Tezu… he searched his mind for the missing words. No he cannot forget them! They were so important…weren't them?
The fact he could not remember anything he tried to recall disturbed him greatly, his hands shook and he turned his head from all the shouting. He couldn't even find energy to push the hands that pried open his aching eyes and the voice that spoke so shrilly into his ears.
He stepped into the total darkness again, this time there were no demons to taunt him. Just peace and quiet, a dreamless sleep envelop his body, soothing his tortured mind and body temporarily.
Tezuka's POV
He was dead, he was sure of it, one moment he was in fiery hell, the other he was floating, ever so gently, dodging all the pain and hurt he just experienced only a second away.
He couldn't see his body though. It seems as if he had been taken to another dimension. He has almost accepted his death, but the thought of Fuji pulled him back. He had to save him. He was still in the car, locked in the burning ruin as Tezuka was a few moments ago. Tezuka struggled. He had to get back. Fuji, wait for me, I am coming, maten.
Author's POV
Both the boys had survived the car crash, but both had been injured so badly, that it would need a miracle to save them. But life is full of miracles. Life apparently taken pity on them and grant them the power of a miracle, allowing both of them to pull through the darkest hours with their love as their support. But it could take both their strengths and love for one another to find the ability to rebuild their past and present and more importantly, their future together again.
Within a month, Tezuka had pulled through; he woke from his deep coma. But his mind was a blank. The only thing he remembered was Fuji Syuusuke. He knew it was a very important thing or person to him, but whoever the name represented, he didn't have any link.
Slowly, with his family's and friends' help, he rebuilt his life. Fuji Syuusuke had slowly retreated to the deepest of his sub-conscious. Waiting and hoping, for the one person to bring the key to reopen all the memories, to bring forth the love Tezuka once shared with the boy he forgotten completely, save a faceless name.
But Fuji remained in his darkness, he woke up a few times, but his brain so severely damaged, he could barely stay awake. Repeatedly, he slipped back into his little pit of darkness. Doctors had asked his family and friends to pray hard, for whatever they could do, they had done them.
In the darkness, Fuji strived to mend, strived to remember. Who was the boy that constantly stood so close yet so far from him? He was so warm. So warm, in the chilly pit Fuji had been forced to make his home.
Half a year passed, his family and friends started to go on their own lives. Their visits had become less and less frequent. The visit hours had become shorter and shorter. Indeed, what was the use of talking to a patient in deep coma? Even if that patient was one's son and one's brother, one's friend and one's sempai?
They were wrong, for Fuji could hear. Tezuka Kunimitsu, the name he had been searching for. It gave him strength to complete his mending. He will get well, he must… there was something he had to do. Something very important and something that concerns his entire life…Tezuka Kunimitsu, Fuji had repeatedly say the name in his mind, lest he forgets it. He cannot lose the two words to the darkness. They were his only chance to climb out of this cold, cold hell. Who says hell is hot, hell is so cold.
Tezuka's POV
It was the same dream again. There was boy, always one with honey brown hair and a pair of intense blue eyes. Whenever Tezuka tried to lift away the veil that shrouded him, the boy would retreat and disappeared. He tried to ask his parents about this boy, but his parents would hasten to change the topic. When he asked his friends, they would look away and attempt to distract him.
Fuji Syuusuke, could it be him? He tried to summon the image that haunted his dreams, always begging him for help, but in the cold reality, the image remained a dark form, locked within his sub-conscious along with all the other memories. Memories, his parents and friends assured him were totally unimportant. How could they say that, but it wasn't them who faced a blank wall whenever they chanced to prod into their past.
Author's POV
Fate has a strange way of arranging our lives. Just when Tezuka was about to move on and marry a girl his parents had told him was his fiancée, Fuji woke up. Just when everyone rejoiced and wanted to tell Tezuka the truth, just when even the girl heard and understood their story, agreed to break off the engagement, Fate decided to deal the last trump card within its pack of cruel twists. Fuji woke up, blind.
They, both parties' parents and friends decided not to tell Tezuka or Fuji, of their love and their importance to one another, again. Too much pressure, too big a blow, they reasoned. So the two lovers were kept, again in ignorance of one another's existence. They craved for the missing parts of their souls, but couldn't name what. So they went on. One more silent than ever, one blind and both were drowning in the sea of their lost memories.
Tezuka graduated with honors, Fuji learnt to paint without his eyes. Both led fruitful lives, or rather, they should have, if not for the pain and uneasiness their lost memories brought. They never knew of one another's existence. Never knew that just across the town, another man once so important had been leading a similar life. Colorful, but so empty, like a pretty sea shell, forever echoed with another's voice, another's happiness, never its own, never.
One day, Tezuka was going through his old things, all stored forgotten in the attic. They thought he had left his past alone. They thought he was satisfied with the superficial answers they gave. They thought wrong. How could he be satisfied, when a enormous hand was pulling him back, reminding in its desperate voice of a very important person he had left locked within the dark abyss of his mind. Fuji Syuusuke, the name never faded, temporarily stored away, maybe, but always in his dreams to haunt him.
He found tennis rackets, tennis balls. That he didn't forget, as his family and friends were more than happy to get him to become the Buchou of his tennis team again. He didn't forget as the racket had felt perfectly at home in his hands. No, he dismissed the rackets and balls, not these, something; something else must have contained some form of his old memories. Something, something like pictures, something like… a diary.
Pushing away everything else, he dug up the black diary stuffed hastily within the old carton box. A shiny book, a shiny diary, a shiny black diary that would answer all his questions, reflect all his past, the past he had so foolishly lost. He trembled.
The first few pages were normal. It started at the beginning of his first year in Junior High. He joined tennis, he met Oishi, he met Eiji, and he met Taka-san, Inui and his charismatic Buchou. And he met Fuji. Fuji Syuusuke had come into his life.
At first, Fuji was just like any other boy, quiet and gentle. That was all, but then with another page turn, Fuji had become more prominent. A match, the unfinished match, it tugged loose a part of the wall his sub-conscious had erected. Memories seep past, enough to shake him, but not enough to summon the rest of his blocked memories. It was as he suspected. Fuji Syuusuke was someone he knew. Yet his family and friends had never bothered to tell him about this other boy. He never see Fuji Syuusuke's face in any photographs he was shown. Maybe it was because none of the photos he seen was from the tennis team, as the members had assured him they never took one before.
They lied, yet again. A photo fell from the book and landed in his lap. He saw all of them, Eiji with his ever-present plaster, Oishi with his shy motherly look, Inui with his spectacles shining obnoxiously in the sunlight, Taka-san with his racket shouting, "BURNING, BABY!", the capped boy with a smirk hanging off his mouth.
And by his side, was a boy, with honey brown hair, and intense blue eyes. Fuji Syuusuke, my love. He was shocked at his thoughts, as the words had struggled past the hazy past and stood proudly in front of him. Like water finally worn down a dam, the memories rushed past his brain and washed his body in cold sweat.
I remembered.
Author's POV
A miracle had happened again. Tezuka with his determination had broken free of the bonds his sub-conscious tried to work around him. He was free, his heart was freed. He was once again, Tezuka Kunimitsu, engaged. To Fuji Syuusuke, his friend, his love, and his fiancé.
As he was happily rushing to Fuji's house, Fuji himself was starting another picture. As usual, it was named Tezuka Kunimitsu. Fuji never recalled his lost past, he was quiet about his pain, passive in his desperation for answers. And he never written a diary before, for he believe his mind was the best diary, or so he thought.
All his works had been dubbed Tezuka Kunimitsu. All his works were of a silent boy with a handsome face. He remembered Tezuka's face, every line etched in his memory, but what the face stand for, he had forgotten. In all his paintings, Tezuka was drawn with a loving hand. All the memories Fuji had lost, had managed to guide Fuji's hands in the painting. The love and the past he thought he lost, had actually been recreated within the paintings Fuji had pain-stakingly done up.
His parents were afraid to see his paintings, as they reminded them of their treachery, reminded them of the pain of having to reconstruct Fuji's past, without Tezuka. So they left him alone, in his darkness to paint what his heart cried for, but his brain rejected. They left him alone, to battle the demons that taunted his days and nights. They left him alone, to remind himself of his lost past with every painting he did. He was alone, in his world, alone with the face of his lost love and all the demons of his past.
Tezuka finally saw Fuji, his love.
Tezuka spoke, and rushed forward to hug Fuji, Ashiteru.
The words, the voice and the simple touch, melted away Fuji's memories block.
"Tezuka…Kuni-chan, my love…"
They sat on the dusty floor of Fuji's workroom, they talked, they cried, they laughed and they loved. Pulling from around his neck, Fuji took out the ring. The ring that held all the promises Tezuka had made him. It held all the love they shared. It held their past, and now, it held their future.
Tezuka left, after being with Fuji for only a short day. He left anxiously, as he had to tell his parents of his recovery, both of his memories and Fuji; he had to tell them of their impending marriage.
On his way home, he rubbed a bruise that stuck stubbornly to his hand. It had been there for weeks. And it didn't fade, it wasn't normal, but Tezuka was too happy to care. Back at home, he spoke excitedly of his once-lost and now-found love. He stopped when he saw his parents' upset faces.
"But, Fuji's blind…"
"I can be his eyes, I can be his heart, I can be his soul, because only together were we complete. Without him, I can't bathe in sunlight without feeling cold; I can't look at the full moon and not feel lacking. I can't look at all of you without feeling angry as I was sure you have robbed me of my soul, my past, and my love. I love Fuji, like I love air, love the sun and love my very life, no, more than life itself."
His parents could not say anything, anything but blessings and more blessings.
Tezuka smiled, and he smiled…and then he fainted. The smile was still on his face, it is as beautiful as ever, but just bloodless.
Fate had given them a chance to know of one another again, Fate had given them a chance to fell the love they had for one another again. And now, Fate wants some repay, in form of a nice twist of cruel humor.
Tezuka was diagnosed of cancer. Leukemia…blood cancer…last stage of cancer…no cure…sorry…
The shock worn off faster for Tezuka than anyone else. He was happy, although he must be torn from his love's arms so soon after he had only find him. He was happy because he had found the last piece of his soul and heart.
Fuji didn't cried, but Tezuka could feel his pain. Their hearts were joined as one, every beat, he felt Fuji's pain. Tezuka held on to Fuji's hands. His eyes never wondered from Fuji's face. The last day before he died, Tezuka spent it looking into the mirror. He committed every feature, every expression into his eyes.
Let me be your eyes Fuji, let me see the world with you; let your soul feel the world for me, just like my eyes could see it for you. Fuji, let me be your love, let me stay alive through your soul and body and my eyes.
Fuji didn't say anything. He leaned forward and touched his unseeing eyes on Tezuka's.
Hai.
Tezuka died.
Fuji gone through an operation to put in Tezuka's retina. It was successful, and Fuji should be able to see again.
Three weeks later, Fuji went back to hospital to take off his bandages. The first shaft of light was blinding but the next was warm and then he could see, again.
Mirror, he asked, the first thing he said after looking around.
The doctors complied, thinking that Fuji wanted to see his face again, after so many years of darkness.
Looking hard into the mirror, Fuji smiled; tears flowed from his eyes and stained the glass.
A dark brown haired boy with brown eyes stared back at him from the mirror.
Tezuka, my Kuni-chan, we are one now. Ashiteru.
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Author's note: they said that the last image a pair of eyes see, it would be forever etched into them, thus Fuji could see Tezuka's image instead of his own when he looked into a mirror.
