When the note just stopped I couldn't stop thinking about Gus and our relationship together, but I knew I had to move on some how. Later on that night I emailed Ledwij back to thank her and her boyfriend for the help and why I needed that note so bad, and how it was okay for her to not know about Gus's death because I knew if I told her about him I would never let go.
I was watching ANTM with my mom while I was on my computer still watching the comments on Gus's page roll in.
"What are you doing honey?" Mom said very kind because she knew I was still getting over Gus.
"nothing much just on Gus's page looking at comments." than after I said that I felt the tears coming in and then, she turned off the T.V and turned to me and with glossy eyes said
" Honey I know its hard, when you were almost gone, your dad and I felt the same way with you in the hospital." after that I felt drained.
" I am going to go in my room for a little if you need me just call. Okay." when I said okay it felt like I just got hit with a mettle bat and I said good bye to my mom and cried in my room.
I look at my phone and realized Isaac called. So, with that I called him back.
" hey Isaac I saw you called is something wrong?" the truth was I was kind of worried about him.
"Yea everything is fine I was just wondering if you wanted to go to support group." Gus loved to go to support group with me.
And I replied in a sob "Sorry not tonight."
"is everything alright?"
" yea I'm fine." I said almost saying okay, and there it was again and I started to cry harder.
"are you okay, I mean alright. I mean. sorry."
"It's fine. I'm going to get going alright."
"Yea sure Hazel, I am really sorry about that it was never met to happen to you or anyone."
"I will see you latter Isaac. Bye."
"Bye support group Hazel."