* I loved Miranda, and I really wanted to find out what happened next – so I've decided I will write my own little story. Please feel free to review, I hope you enjoy. - HappyLola x*
Chapter Uno: Miranda Bennet and Gary Darcy.
My dearest friend, how lovely of you to join me once again. How are you? I don't really care, so please don't bother me with the details. I am sure you are aware that I have been proposed to by not one, but two men ! It is as though it was a buy one get one free. How cheeky, imagine if they sold them in shops.
'Miranda', shouted Stevie. She was banging on the door of the flat.
Why? I hear you ask. Well, I have failed to mention what happened after my two suitors – yes, I said suitors. I feel like a medieval princess, who cast down her hair to the two knights below. It could happen. I ran, well galloped away from them. Since then I have taken refuge in my house, for around two weeks. No, don't feel sorry for me. I've enjoyed my time. I have erected (you filthy mind) a tent in the living room, where I have spent most of my time. The evenings have been spent with my friend Jeff – the shadow puppet. Don't worry, I have not forgotten my fruit friends, they have their own tent. Why go camping outside in the cold – when you can camp at home !
'Miranda', said Stevie. Oh dear, she had got into the flat – damn giving her a spare key !
'I'm here', I called.
The 'door' to the tent was pulled back, revealing what had become of my life. I sat in my Primark cow onesie, beside me was a lot of chocolate wrapped (to keep up my energy – it is hard work being proposed to) and next to me was my fruit friends - in his handmade felt matching onesie.
'Miranda, you have chocolate – on your face'
'Lunch!' I said, licking it off. What? Waste not want not.
'You need to get changed?'
'Why? What is the point'
She pulled a foghorn from behind her back, pulling the leaver she put it towards my ear. I leaped up, I was pretty sure I had lost my hearing.
'Mike is leaving !'
'What?'
'Mike is leaving'
'You are teething? Stevie you are a grown woman ! I know you are small, and could easily be mistaken for a small child but-'
'Mike is leaving', Stevie shouted.
'Leaving?'
'That is what I said'
Stevie explained how since my reaction, he had been planning to accept a job in New York. It appears I drive men to leave the country.
'I should be bothered', I said. 'Why isn't it bothering me?'
'Maybe you love Gary?'
'Where have you been for the past few years? Of course I love Gary'
Everyone and their dog, and that dog's pet flea knew I loved Gary. Oh, but everything always went wrong with him. We didn't have the best timing.
'You love him ! Well why didn't you accept his proposal?'
'Well... I really needed to fart. I thought it would ruin the magic a bit, and you always see the woman running off in the movies. I thought I'd go all Julia Roberts – add a bit of drama. Oh, Stevie you know I'm not good at confrontation'
It was true, once at board school Trispen Floggatary (real name), was rumoured to be asking me out. I recited the alphabet to him, patted him on the head and said 'good boy'. It was not my finest moment, but I get very nervous in social situations.
'Oh Miranda, you need to be Elizabeth Bennet – go and get your Mr Darcy'
'Yes', I said standing up. I raised my hand and declared - 'I, Miranda vow to get my Darcy !'
'Maybe you should get changed first?' Suggested Stevie.
'That may be a good idea, my very small friend.
