Just Alya being Alya.

There was an akuma, and Alya managed to get to the site before either Ladybug or Cat Noir showed up.

Well, of course, she did, since the attack started about a block away from the café she was at with Nino, Marinette, and Adrien, interrupting their otherwise peaceful lunch.

Alya decided that today was the day that her secret Plan Alpha Kappa Upsilon would start. What is that, you ask? If I told you, then it wouldn't be a secret.

She came prepared. She chose that café for a reason. All she needed was an akuma attack. Alya found herself praying for one for the first (and probably only) time in her life. As you know, it came.

When Marinette started to dash away, Alya said, "Nuh-uh, girl, you're coming with me," grabbed her arm, and ran out of the café with a struggling Marinette.

"Alya! What are you doing?!"

"It's about time you saw an akuma for yourself, Marinette! I'm taking you with me so I can share the joy with you."

Marinette was shocked, to say the least. She was not expecting Alya to drag her along, and it was seriously impeding her ability to transform.

Meanwhile, Adrien was facing a similar predicament, except instead of being dragged toward the akuma, he was being dragged away by Nino.

"Nino, I really have to go!"

"No way, man. There's no way I'm letting you go AWOL on me this time!"

Nino really hated it when his best friend vanished during akumas. He would remain lonely, and he wanted to have a friend to talk to.

He also didn't want to resort to Alya, for obvious reasons.

Adrien groaned. Getting away from Nino would be difficult. "But I like going AWOL! It's fun!"

Marinette was fighting Alya at this point. She really had to go, so she resorted to lying. "Alya, please! I'm really scared!"

"Fine, but I have to make sure you're safe. Follow me, I know a good hiding spot." Alya smiled. The situation was perfect on her side. She needed to know whether it was the right time, however, so she phoned Nino.

"Hey, Alya."

"Hi, Nino. Can you tell me the status of Mr. Sunshine?"

Uncooperative."

"Perfect. Just what we needed. Mrs. Agreste is in the same situation, so I feel like Plan Alpha Kappa Upsilon can now commence. You know what to do."

"Got it."

Nino suddenly stopped and changed his attitude. He then calmly told Adrien, "Listen. I can't force you to stay with me, and I respect that. Now, at least let me find you a decent hiding place."

Adrien was pleasantly surprised. That made him suspicious. Something's up, he thought. He would never let me go that easily, Besides, he never talks like that. He followed Nino anyway.

Marinette was just confused. First, Alya drags her to the akuma. She then calls someone and talks nonsense. Who's Mr. Sunshine? wondered Marinette. Do I know him? Why was she talking about Adrien's mom? What's a 'plan alpha kappa upsilon'?

Alya then becomes really (and weirdly) understanding, saying things like, "Ok, if you're so scared, then I'll take you to a good hiding place" or "Shh, it's ok, Mari, there's nothing to be scared of."

What is going on?

Nino and Adrien arrived at Site Theta, aka the maintenance closet. Nino led Adrien into the door and closed it. Not ten seconds later, Alya and Marinette approached, and Marinette practically ran into the closet without realizing that Adrien was inside.

Alya slammed and locked the door before either of them could run out, and she ran away, cackling.

Adrien saw Marinette fly into the door and have it slammed shut, and he swore he heard a click. Oh, no! he panicked. I'm trapped and I can't transform with Marinette here! What am I gonna do? He tested the door. It's locked. Great.

Marinette was fuming. "Damn you, Alya," she muttered. Then she turned to Adrien and told him, "Well, we can't stay trapped here forever. One way or another, we have to get out of here." Then hastily added: "Not that it's unpleasant being with you, or anything."

"Oh it's alright, I understand completely. Did I hear you say that Alya did this? Why would she do it?"

Marinette blushed, chuckled nervously, and told him, "O-oh, no reason... Just Alya being Alya, I guess..."

The room fell into an awkward silence for a few minutes. The door was steel-lined, so there was no kicking it down. Both of them knew that they'd have to transform eventually, but they weren't comfortable doing that yet.

In that silence, Tikki and Plagg had an actual tea party in the upper shelves, making sure to stay quiet. Marinette had accidentally put tea instead of cookies in her bag, and there was a tap in the closet with hot water. All they had to do was use Plagg's camembert box as a teapot, and voilà, improvised kwami tea party.

"I have to admit, Tikki, this will be the funniest reveal we've had in a couple millennia. Who knew, the elusive Ladybug and Cat Noir's identities defeated by the greatest beast of all: shipping."

"I have to agree, Plagg. Alya's really outdone herself this time. At least it's between them and not with anyone else."

"Yeah. If it were Alya..."

They shuddered at the thought.

After a moment of silence, Plagg resumed with, "How many others of our chosens have been in such a situation?"

Tikki giggled before replying, "Which situation?"

Marinette nearly had a heart attack when she heard a soft cackling. She convinced herself it was a delusion.

"That's a good question. How about the love square?"

The next 3 minutes or so were spent discussing the famous square's absurdities and all the times where their identities could have been revealed.

"And when Volpina attacked, it was exhausting for me. I had to—"

A deep breath rumbled through the room, and the two kwamis absorbed their tea within seconds. They had to hear this.

"Ok. I didn't want to do this," breathed Adrien, "but it seems like I have no choice. Marinette, can you keep a secret?"

"Ha," whispered Plagg. "My chosen cracked first."

"Oh, hush. You know that Marinette has self-confidence issues."

Marinette was petrified. "You trust me to keep your secret?"

"Yep, and no one else knows it. I'm counting on you to tell no one, especially Alya."

Wow, that's a lot of pressure to put on me. "O-ok. I will."

"Great. Now, please don't faint. Plagg, claws out."

Marinette did faint, but not before muttering, "Oh, lovely. Here's where I say Tikki, spots on."

Adrien was the next to collapse.

Outside, Nino fled the scene. He was standing guard for Alya to keep tabs on their progress. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but he did hear two very distinct thumps, causing some very impure thoughts to fly through his head.

As for what happened next, let's just say the Fu will be pleased.

There will be more. I ain't done with this.

I know that this looks rushed, and I'm sorry about that. I also know that the ending might be a little confusing, but I'll clear it up in the next chapters.

╰(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)━ ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ Mwee hehe