The first time you never knew about my feelings.
We were on an expedition. One minute we're riding on our horses, the next we're surrounded by titans. Comrades were dying left and right, but I had no time to grieve. I had to focus on saving those who are alive and protect him. Eren Yeager. You might wonder why Eren. At first I didn't understand, then I realized.
Humanity's strongest, me, was in love with a boy who couldn't even clean right. I was in denial for along time. Then my imagination wondered and I stared thinking about him. I noticed his personality, charisma, and his determination that almost scary. His laugh and when he smiles pink dusts his face. His body proportions and how he was muscular, but not too muscular. His eyes. Damn, those eyes. They are stunning.
Blue-green with gold flecks evenly distributed, and in the sunlight they would change color. I started hating the fact I was in love. I started being harsher towards him. I hated the fact he made me love him. The fact that he could just die and I could do nothing about it. The fact that I wouldn't tell him because of fear. The fear he would reject my feelings in disgust.
I was lost in thought when I herd, "Corporal!" I know that voice. It was...Eren's. I started heading in that direction, slaughtering every titan in my way. Then I herd a deafening crunch. I saw Eren on the ground in half, dead. My world stopped.
I kneeled down and caressed his face. His eyes were glazed over and dull. Those eyes taunted him and his dream. They were open, expecting to see the outside world. They would never get to now. I gently kissed his forehead and left.
Later when we were back at the base, everyone was devastated. Armin and Mikasa were still crying. I was crying too, on the inside. In the comfort of my room, I cried.
'My love died without knowing my feelings. I'm not Humanity's strongest, I'm just a coward'
The second time I was to late to realize your suffering.
Everyone was reborn into a bigger and better world, and everyone remembered the past. I was finally going to ask Eren out on Valentine's Day. It was Hanji's idea and I thought it was way to cliché, but I remembered Eren likes that sort of shit. So here I am walking up to Eren and Mikasa's shared apartment with a rose bouquet.
Then I ran into Mikasa. "Hi Ackerman" I spat. I still don't like her and I still call her by her last name. "Hello chibi" She said. She still doesn't trust me. She eyed the bouquet. She was about to ask a question "What are you doing down here?" I asked. "Getting a package" She replied.
Before she could start interrogating me, I walk off. I reached Eren's apartment door, I shifted the bouquet to get the keys Eren gave me. I walked in looking around. "Eren!" I yelled. 'Is that brat really asleep' I thought. I walked into the hall and to the farthest door, and opened it.
"Oi, Eren you brat...wake up" I looked at Eren in horror. He was hanging from the ceiling with cuts all over him dripping blood. The bouquet dropped and my knees buckled. A trail a tears streamed down my face. I stared into Eren's lifeless eyes looking for the cause of this.
Mikasa walked up to me. "Midget, why are you in..." Her words trailed off. She saw Eren's hanging, bleeding corpse and broke down. She struggled talking to the 911 operator. While others were sad, confused, or shocked. I felt emptiness.
'What was hurting you so much Eren? Was it me? Was I the cause?'
The third time we were not meant to be together.
I was sitting on the couch at my Aunt Tamie and Uncle Sam's house. My mother and father were at the hospital waiting for their baby to come into the world. I wanted to come, but my father said "A ten year old should not witness child birth". So now I'm stuck at a pig stie. They could have put me with grandma. "At least she knows how to clean" I mumbled.
My disgusting so-called Aunt Tamie peeked her head in. "Sweetie. Your parents are home with the new baby!" She exclaimed. She motioned me to come with her and when I did I kept a safe enough distance away. When I spotted my parents I rushed towards them.
"Sweetheart" Mother said,"This is your new baby brother Eren" She cooed. 'Eren. It-It couldn't be'
"Would you like to hold him?" Father asked. I nodded. After my paranoid mother showed me how to hold him I finally did. I saw his eyes Blue-green eyes outlined in gold. 'Just like his' He stared at me the same way he did. With admiration and love.
~~~~~~~~~~~Seven months later~~~~~~~~~
It was a normal day. I was watching T.V, father reading, Eren trying to a head off of yet another toy, while mother was trying to get Eren to say his first words.
"Daniel?" Mother addressed father,"Should we be worried" "Why is that, dear?" Father asked putting down his book.
"Eren should of said something by now" Mother replied. While mother and father had a debate weather Eren should be checked out by a doctor or not. I looked at Eren, who was staring at me. 'Shouldn't they be more worried about that? He looks at me like food'
"Heichou" Eren mumbled while reaching towards me. Mother and father stopped arguing and looked at Eren.
"Did Eren just say 'Heichou'?" Mother asked. Eren saluted or at least tried his best to. Right hand over his heart, while the other hand behind his back. "Heichou!" Eren yelled happily.
'Eren. My baby brother is Eren Yeager, the boy I fell for and watch die before my eyes'
I went over to Eren and took his pointer finger in my hand. "That's right Eren. I'm your Heichou~" I smiled.
'We're brothers Eren, and we might not be able to be lovers. But I still love you the way I did back then. I love you too much to let you go'