This isn't a good day for anyone in our household. Three years today after my older sister Rue got reaped into the Games-reaped to certain death. And today is the first day I would be facing the same fate.
But I'm not. Because of Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark and Gale Hawthorne and Beetee Whatever-His-Last-Name-Is and Alma Coin and tons of others. The rebellion leaders we heard about in school. It's still a holiday, today, though. No work. No school. Just, as President Paylor calls it, a day of reflection.
Only, for us, it's worse. We can't reflect on the goodness of the rebellion when we're too busy thinking of Rue.
I peek at Mom. She's asleep. She always sleeps on Reflection Days/Reaping Days. She says it's the only way she can deal with the pain. I go into the kitchen to make breakfast for myself and my four younger sisters.
As soon as I've cut the apples into slices and made toast, my sisters come bounding in.
"Breakfast! Breakfast!" crows Orange, only two years old. Lily follows her, six years old. "Food!"
My other sisters follow more slowly. They know what today is. Fern and Rose and I pick at our plates, while Lily and Orange eat what we don't.
"Tell us a story! Tell us a story!" cry Lily and Orange. My sisters and I follow them into the main room of our house. We plunk down on the floor in a circle. On impulse, I decide to tell them about Rue. Fern, Rose, Lily, and Orange settle down to listen.
"Orange," I start. "You had another sister. One you've never met. And, Lily, you were too young to remember. Her name was Rue.
"Rue was beautiful. Not only on the outside, but the in. She had a good heart. Always, she was a protector. She took care of us when Mom couldn't. She picked the most fruit off the trees, to get more food, then gave the food to us. You have to remember, in District 11, it used to be that people didn't have enough food. We didn't have enough food. But Rue gave her meager supply to us. Mostly you, Rose, and you, Lily, because you were too small to starve as the rest of us did.
"She loved music more than anything else in the world. She led us to sing tons and tons of songs. Lily, you were only three, and you didn't know the words. But you hummed along. And we all had to harvest food. At the end of the day, she would whistle to the mockingjays scattered around to signal quitting time."
I did the whistle. A simple four notes.
"Before you were born, Orange, there was this thing called the Reaping. Every year, two kids, a boy and a girl, were chosen. They had to go into an arena full of horrible things. And only one person could get out alive. Everyone had to kill everyone else to survive. It was terrifying. It was called the Hunger Games.
"When we were younger, before even you, Fern, it made me cry, all the death. Rue, only six, comforted me. For seven years, as soon as I knew what was going on, she helped us deal with the Games. She was an incredible person."
"She sounds like you, Saffron," says Orange. I shrug off the comparison.
"I try, but she was much better than me. Even in the worst times, she would never get mad. Then one day, she got picked for the Hunger Games. She had to leave.
"Her last words to me were, 'I love you.'"
I am crying now, and Orange and Lily have crawled into my lap.
"Then she had to get on a train to leave. She went away into the arena. She teamed up with a girl named Katniss. Then a boy speared her. She. . .she passed away only a few minutes after that.
"Then, a week later, we got a letter from her. It was written to all of us."
I pull the letter from its hiding place. I know Mom wouldn't mind. Not for this.
Dear Mom, Saffron, Fern, Lily, and New Baby,
Let it first be known that I love you. Nothing I say or do in the arena will change that. Never think otherwise. If any of us had to be chosen, I'm glad it was me. You are too precious to suffer such a fate, whereas me. . .I'm just a normal person.
Mom, you have to be strong for the kids. I know it will be hard. I fully expect to die. Just know that I'm not upset about anything. I love you, and I forgive you for everything.
Saffron, I know this will be worst for you. You've always hated the Games, and you're the one that will remember the most. Please have heart. You are the best sister ever, and I know you will make an incredible oldest child when I am gone.
Fern, I love you. I know we didn't always get along, that sometimes we fought, that you ratted my hiding spots to Mom. I love you anyway. Your courage and determination will serve you well in the long run.
Rose, you are a wonderful kid. Even though you're too little to really know you well, your ability to befriend anyone is amazing.
Lily, I don't know you. I love you even so. But no matter who you become, you have a beautiful spirit.
Mom, yes, I do know that you're having another child. And whoever it is, I wish you well. And I love you, even though I've never met you.
I hope the best for you. I hope you never get chosen for those awful Games. No matter what happens, we'll be together after death.
Love,
Rue
Now all of my sisters are crying, even the ones too young to know what's going on. I'm starting to think that this day is going on the wrong track when the doorbell rings.
"Come in," I call, expecting one of Rose's friends, or maybe Thresh's sister to mourn him as we mourn Rue.
She opens the door carefully, stepping into our little cottage.
It's Katniss Everdeen.
I recover first from the shock. "Ms. Everdeen. What an honor to meet you."
"Hi, you," gurgles Orange.
Katniss steps a bit farther into the cottage. "About time I paid you a visit. I'm really glad you're not dead."
"Um, yeah. Dead is bad," says Lily. "But why would we be dead?"
"Like the others from my Victory Tour. I figured that if you were alive, I should know who you are. For your sister."
"I'm Saffron," I say. "Fern, Rose, Lily, and Orange." I point to my sisters in turn. "Our mother is asleep. Says it's the only way she can deal with the pain of. . .our sister."
Katniss nods. "I get it. I can't stop remembering her, either. Or my sister, Prim. Or any of the other hundred people I knew that died. Too much death, those Games. And the rebellion. But, apart from meeting you, I want to tell you something. Peeta and I married."
"Congratulations!" squeals Rose.
"And we're having a baby. If it's a girl, her name will be Rue. Rue Primrose. After her."
"It's wonderful," I say in a hushed voice, holding in tears.