A/N:Ok this is a one shot that I couldn't shake when listening to Taylor Swift's song "Last Kiss". Hope you all enjoy!
Disclaimer: I won nothing. It all belongs to the lovely and talented Amy.
It was after a long, exciting, exhausting and wonderful few months of being on the campaign trail with Senator Barak Obama that Rory Gilmore found herself back at home and in her old bedroom again. They were given a week off for Christmas and Rory had been counting down the days ever since she had heard. Sure she was enjoying her time on the campaign trail and the experience, but she missed home. She missed her mother's crazy antics, her grandparents, her best friends Lane and Paris, and her mentally unstable out-patient town that loved her so much. She was really hoping that being home would also help distract her from the other thoughts swirling around in her mind for the last six months or so and being back in her old room was like a warm hug.
Since her mom was working she took the time to unpack and finish sorting out the Christmas presents she had bought. She went looking for tape and wrapping paper and couldn't seem to find any. So she went to the hall closet and when she opened it she noticed a box that she didn't remember being there. She grabbed the box and pulled it down only to freeze when she opened it.
It was a "Logan" box. Her mom must have gone through her boxes she had brought home from Yale after she left for the trail to remove reminders of him for her. She probably figured it would make it easier for Rory when she came home again.
When Rory started breathing again, she picked up the box and brought it into her room, where she sat on the floor beside it. Just thinking about the contents of the box made her heart ache. The hardest part about being on the campaign trail was trying to deal with the events that lead up to it. Trying to cope with the idea of Logan no longer being in her life. Stopping herself numerous times a day from calling, texting or emailing him. He was her first call. Whenever anything good or bad or even funny happened, he had been the one she would call first to share it with. He had become her number one. Her best friend and confidant. That had never happened in her relationships with Dean or Jess. And then he was suddenly gone and she had to learn how to live without him.
She still couldn't fully wrap her head around what had happened. He proposed. The guy who couldn't do commitment, had proposed. And out of the blue too. She hadn't even realized he was there. That he was ready to take that step. What she did know was that she wasn't quite ready. It was her college graduation day for Pete's sake. She needed time to become a person outside of school, and Stars Hollow, and Lorelai Gilmore, and apparently he couldn't wait for that.
So now here she was six months later, sitting on her old bedroom floor, attempting to face the heartache and pain she was constantly living with, in a lame attempt to get closure and move on.
As she began to pull things out of the box she became overwhelmed with memories and emotions. She stared at the "love rocket" for a few minutes remembering that night in the pool house watching the Twilight Zone and how that was his favourite episode. Remembering the night they saved the paper and had their reunion dinner that resulted in them going back to his apartment to continue to make up. How just as she felt herself drifting off to sleep in his arms she heard him whisper, "I love you Ace".
She wondered why if he considered what they had to be "true love", he couldn't wait for her. To give her some time like he had had, to grow up and find herself. He was supposed to love her enough to spend forty years alone in space just to be with her again for a few years.
The next thing she pulls out of the box is her boarding pass from her Christmas trip to visit him in London. He had gone a few days ahead to get some work stuff sorted out in the London offices. Of course when she arrived it was wet, cold and rain because why would London be sunny for them? Even if it was December. She could smell the rain in the air but none of that mattered because she ran to him and reveled in the feeling of his arms around her. She still couldn't wear the earrings he had given her on that trip. Or anything else he had given her really. That poor Birkin bag was just sitting collecting dust. She couldn't help but think how appalled Emily Gilmore would be if she knew. The memories were just too hard to face.
As she reached into the box her hand met something soft. She pulled out a faded Yale t-shirt. It had been Logan's but she had stolen it early on in their relationship to sleep in. She remembers it being particularly comforting for her when they were apart, when he was in London. It was like a warm Logan hug and it had smelled like him. She lifted it to her nose to find the smell had just about faded and before she could even process what she was doing, she put it on.
She thought back to one night on the campaign trail when she had been flipping through channels and stumbled across an episode of Grey's Anatomy. Her mom had mentioned that she had been binge watching it and after the things her mom had told her, she thought it would be entertaining to watch and mock. And maybe serve as a welcome distraction from her heartbreak. Unexpectedly, she found herself caught up in the emotions of a heartbroken Meredith telling Derek how she couldn't remember their last kiss and the next thing she knew, Rory was crying. She cried for the end of her relationship. She cried because she couldn't remember her last kiss with Logan either. But mostly she cried because she never thought this was something she'd worry about. She never thought they'd have a last kiss. She never imagined them ending this way and ending up alone and heartbroken. How long would it take to get over him and be able to kiss someone without Logan being on her mind? Would he forever be the name on her lips?
The next thing she found in the box was a picture frame that had two pictures in it. One was of her and Logan jumping at the infamous Life and Death Brigade event. It was one of her favourites. It was where she started to see a different side to Logan. The life of the party, but also an adventurer and an intellect. The other photo was taken of the two of them dancing at some society party her grandmother had hosted. They were so entranced by each other in the photo and holding onto each other like the other was going to disappear. She remembered this being not too long before he had to leave for his year in London. Meaning that they really were holding on and trying to make the memories and moments last just a little longer. If she really concentrated, she could still remember the feel of his arms around her, his heartbeat as they danced around and how he would whisper in her ear. He was always such a good dancer, whereas she was never much of one. But he was always able to lead her around and make her feel so light on her feet.
Reaching into the box again, she discovered that apparently she had never given the key back to his apartment. Looking at it she could remember the day she moved in there life it was just yesterday. Paris had thrown her out of the apartment they shared because she had been voted the new editor in chief at the Yale Daily News and Paris felt betrayed. She tried to find somewhere on campus with no luck, and then Mr. IDontDoCommitment suggested that she move in with him. She was surprised at first, but it turned out to be one of the best decisions she made. Then that same day her dad came for a visit and tour. Next thing she knew he was insisting on seeing where she lived and she couldn't get a hold of Logan to tell him that they were coming. She brought him in and introduced him to Logan and their new shared apartment. Her dad politely followed Logan's lead when he introduced himself and shook his hand as if for the first time and tried to pretend they hadn't met before in a bridal suite half naked with the man's daughter. He was always so confident but in that moment, with that handshake, he let his nerves show and to her that also proved his seriousness about her. The fact that he cared about meeting her dad and making a good impression. She remembered coming home one evening to find that he had decided to surprise her by coming home from London for a visit without telling her.
Then she remembered the way she would start to ramble when she was excited or upset and he would cut her off with a kiss. He knew that she could go on for a while once she got going, without even taking a breath. She'd pretend to be annoyed with him at first or pout but he could always see right through her and would usually just kiss the pout away. She missed that.
As she continued looking through the box she found some magazine and newspaper articles celebrating some of Logan's successes at HPG. They were old stories but she's not embarrassed to admit she's read all of his recent success stories too as she keeps up with the online media. She sees pictures that he posts or his friends post on Facebook and can't help but think how carefree he looks. He doesn't look like he's struggling to keep himself together the way she is. Maybe it was easier for him to forget. To move on. After all, he was never really a relationship guy, right? Maybe this was just an experiment gone wrong for him? She knew deep down that was a cheap shot and untrue, but sometimes heartbreak makes you petty.
Rory finds another picture frame in the box that she pulls out. It's from Halloween the year that Logan was in London. His moronic, but full of heart and (typically) good intentions, friends had convinced her to go out with them. They even picked a group costume that would include her, the Wizard of Oz. She was dressed as Dorothy, Colin was the Cowardly Lion, Robert was the Tin Man, and Finn was the Scarecrow. She ended up having so much fun with them that night and they even limited their drunken antics. Well, a little. She missed them. They were always his best friends, not hers but she became closer to them over the years of their relationship and considered them almost family too. She still talked to them once in a while, mostly Finn. Finn was always the easiest for her to talk to, and the most willing to keep some communication open after the break up. She tried to avoid conversations about "him" but sometimes it was hard. Sometimes she'd break down and ask him if Logan was ok. He'd usually just give a rather vague response that he was fine.
As she continued to get lost in her thoughts she couldn't help but hope Logan was enjoying California. The more she thought about it, she realized that California suites Logan. He would do well there, with all the outdoor activities and forward thinking and sun. He was lucky, he didn't have to worry about the sun the same way she did with her pale complexion.
That little heartbroken, petty part of her also wished that he found some reminders of her in his life too. Something that made him remember all the good times that had together. Something to make him wish he hadn't blindsided her with that ultimatum and then walked away from them. Really, that's what it came down to for her. She was completely blindsided and never expected him to change his mind and leave her.
Rory found herself crying again. Twenty three and a real reporter on a presidential campaign trail. This was the dream. And yet, here she was sitting on the floor of her childhood bedroom, crying over her college boyfriend while wearing his old shirt and looking at stuff she had kept from their time together. God, she felt pathetic. But then again, she never thought they'd have a last kiss. Who would've known that they would end like this. She couldn't help but try again to remember their last kiss. She figured it was probably the morning of her graduation. Something quick, like they'd done it a thousand times (which they had) and they probably figured they'd do a thousand more. A kiss that didn't even need thought, it was just a reflex but now held so much importance in their relationship, well former relationship. Maybe someday she'd be able to move on, but for now, he'll be forever the name on her lips.
Just like their last kiss.
A/N: So what do you think? Please review!