A/N: This is based on one of the JoBros songs from their (now unreleased) album Five (V). It's my favorite song and probably the most beautiful one they recorded. The minute I heard them perform it at their concert last July I knew I'd have to use it in a fic. And Here's the idea it spawned!
Enjoy!
angellwings
Found
By angellwings
"Pardon me cause I'm staring.
Oh my God.
I could marry that smile you're wearing,
And I just might."
-Found, Jonas Brothers
Nate was really trying to pay attention to what his uncle was saying. Really he was. But he couldn't help that someone else was just a bit more noticeable at the moment. He grinned softly as he watched Ella stitch up a ripped seam on Shane's shirt on the other side of the stage. He couldn't hear what was being said but it must have been hilarious because Ella was wearing a huge smile and laughing merrily. Shane smirked at her while she finished the seam and Nate made himself take a deep calming breath.
Why did she always pull him in? He could spot her in the middle of a crowd or across a sold out arena. No matter the room or the size of it he always noticed when she walked through the door. She drew him to her like a moth to a flame. He'd never felt that before her and it had always been that way only he'd never paid attention to it until now.
Even at Camp he remembered feeling a strange pull or connection. He'd initially chalked it up to her being an attractive teenage girl and him being a hormonal teenage boy, but in the years since he'd discovered it was so much more than that. They'd become very good friends since camp. In fact, she was probably his best friend. She was bright and funny and she somehow always…sparkled. Like bubbly champagne.
She was his complete opposite in almost every way and yet…that's what drew him in. Before her he'd felt lost and incomplete, but with her…
He was found. And if he could just keep her, he knew he would never be lost again.
"Dude, if you stare any harder you're going to burn a hole through her," Jason whispered out of the side of his mouth.
"Something you'd like to share, Jason?" Brown asked his oldest nephew with a quirked brow. "I'm trying to have a band meeting here."
"Right, sorry, Uncle Brown. Won't happen again," Jason said with a wince.
Nate glared at Jason for interrupting his thoughtful staring. Now he felt self conscious about it, but he desperately wanted to look at Ella again. He wanted to watch her smile. He loved her smile.
He loved her.
Wait. What? He loved Ella? He knew he had strong feelings for her, but he didn't realize that he—
His eyes widened and he rubbed a hand across his brow. Oh God. He loved Ella. He truly loved her.
"Shit," Nate cursed under his breath.
"What was that?" Brown asked with a stern glare.
Nate gulped and shook his head. "Um, nothing. Not a thing."
"Good," Brown said as he went back to speaking with the backup band about the schedule and the previous sound check. The meeting ended a few minutes later and everyone but Jason and Nate dispersed.
"What was that about, little brother?" Jason asked with a grin. "You okay?"
"I really don't know," Nate said with a sigh and a wince.
Shane and Ella joined them and Nate had to remind himself to breathe. She wasn't paying him a bit of attention. She was packing her travel sewing kit back into its crystal covered carrying case. He was suddenly noticing every little movement. The way her hands moved every spool of thread into place and placed her needles so carefully into the pin cushion lid of the case, the way her hair swayed in the drafty room and then pooled around her neck, the way she leaned her weight to one side so her hip stuck out ever so slightly…
Every little detail seemed magnified about one million times. She fastened the case and then reached a callused yet perfectly manicured hand up to brush her hair out of her face and Nate gulped nervously. What was the problem? This was Ella. He'd talked to her, looked at her, and casually touched her a thousand times before. He knew her better than a lot of people. He had no reason to be this terrified of her.
And yet he was.
Ella looked up finally and smiled at the three of them. A mere second must have passed since she and Shane had joined them but it felt like he'd been staring at her for hours.
"Okay, so, your wardrobe is in your dressing rooms. Everything is stitched and ready to go. I made sure they're in performance order and your quick change outfits are backstage behind the LED screen. My lovely minions will be back there to help you guys with whatever you need," Ella told them as she instinctually flipped her long dark hair over her shoulder. "Also, please don't 'rehearse' guitar slides in the hall before the show. I do not want to be stitching knees in pants mere seconds before you go on stage again. Okay? Any questions?"
"Yeah, what are your thoughts on throwing my bandana into the audience?" Shane asked with a teasing smirk.
"You throw it away, you pay for it. Just because it's a bandana doesn't mean it's cheap, my friend," Ella told him with a playful glare. "Those stupid crystals on that thing took me hours to place just so."
"Just out of curiosity how much does that bandana cost?" Jason asked fearfully.
"More than my new pair of Louboutins, surprisingly," Ella told him. "Anything else?"
"Nope," Shane said. "I'm good."
"Me too," Jason told her with a nod. "Nate?"
He didn't know what was wrong with him. He knew Jason had just spoken to him but no words were coming to mind. Nothing. There was dead silence. He just stood there like an idiot staring at Ella and blinking at her.
Her brow furrowed and she placed a hand on his arm. "Nate? Are you feeling okay?" She studied him closer and he was horrified that she might see right through him. "You're white as a sheet."
His eyes moved from her lovely face that had flushed slightly in concern to the hand she had gently placed on his arm and he cleared his throat before words finally seemed to find him. "I'm—I'm fine. Sorry, just spaced for a second."
"You're sure?" Ella asked as she caught his gaze.
His skin burned where she her hand touched his arm and her chocolate eyes seemed to hold him in place like they never had before. He had the sudden urge to close the distance between them and kiss her. Witnesses be damned. But he didn't. Instead he smiled warmly at her worried expression and nodded. "I'm sure. Thank you, though."
"Okay, well then I'd better be going," Ella said with a bright smile and a nod. "I have to rally the minions and make sure we don't have any mix ups like last night. Don't want any of you going barefoot for half the show again."
"Yes, that would be greatly appreciated, oh wise clothing mistress," Shane said with a grin. "Please make sure I have socks at the very least this time."
Ella rolled her eyes and chuckled. "Fine, brightly colored Christmas socks it is, Gray. I'll keep them with your quick change outfits for an emergency situation." She winked at Nate quickly before turning and walking away. She threw a quick "break a leg" over her shoulder as she left the arena where the stage had been set up.
Both Jason and Shane turned to give Nate a strange look.
"What was that?" Shane asked in confusion. "You were really weird just then."
Nate immediately closed his eyes tightly and groaned as if he were in serious pain. "I have no idea! There were just no words in my head. None! I always have words! I have never not had words! And it's Ella. She's basically my best friend. We talk all the time. She's never left me tongue tied before! I don't—I can't—what the hell is wrong with me?"
Jason smirked at his younger brother and bit back a laugh.
"What?" Nate asked him with a glare.
"You love her!" Jason shouted with a huge grin. "You love Ella!"
Shane's eyes widened as if a fog had lifted and he could finally see. "Oh shit! You do! You love her!"
Nate ran a hand through his hair and sighed miserably. "This is horrible."
"How is this horrible?" Shane asked in confusion. "Or unexpected in any way? Didn't you just admit to us last week that you had a crush on her?"
"Yes, a crush. A crush is normal. This…whatever I'm feeling…I'm certain it's going to completely freak her out," Nate said as he walked to the edge of the stage and sat down. "Not that I'd blame her. It's freaking me out."
"Well, yeah, you're going to freak her out if you act like you have the shakes and see dead people like you were a few minutes ago. That's a given. Calm yourself, man," Jason said as he sat down next to his youngest brother. "It's not as though you suddenly started feeling this way. You just finally realized what those feelings are called. See? That's not so scary, right? Nothing has changed except that you're aware of what you're feeling. Just think of it like that and it won't freak you out so much."
Nate took a deep breath and repeated Jason's words to himself inside of his head. Once the fear of his own feelings had subsided and Jason had turned out extremely correct, he was just left with one singular fear.
"This is going to ruin everything," Nate said quietly. "Ella's never given me any indication that she—she's my best friend. I can't lose her."
Shane grinned secretively before he sat down on Nate's other side. He looked like he knew something Nate didn't. "You may be her best friend, but there are still things about her you don't know, Nate. The only way to find out for sure is to talk to her."
"You still have plenty of time before the show," Jason pointed out as he checked his watch.
"What?" Nate asked. "You want me to talk to her now?"
"No time like the present," Jason said with a smirk.
"No day but today," Shane added with a grin.
"Never put off for tomorrow what you can do today," Jason said without a moment's hesitation.
"No time to waste," Shane said as he gave Jason a competitive stare.
Nate rolled his eyes. "Did this just become a thing?"
"Every moment wasted is a moment lost," Jason said as he glared challengingly at Shane.
"Seize the day!" Shane exclaimed as they both ignored Nate completely.
"Yep, it just became a thing and you guys have officially used up any helpful energy you had," Nate said with a long suffering sigh as he stood up and left the arena. However idiotic they were they made a good point. He was terrified but he needed to get it off of his chest before he had a chance to second guess himself or make excuses for what he was feeling. And maybe the band-aid approach would be best with Ella too. She could reject him now and they could start to work on getting over the awkwardness that would inevitably follow and maybe they'd be friends again by the time the tour finished.
Yes, telling her now would be a good decision no matter what came of it. He told himself. He made his way toward the room that was reserved for tour staff meetings and found her there wrapping up her wardrobe department meeting. She spotted him in the back of the room and smiled brightly at him. He responded with a smile of his own and slight wave of his hand. She gave one last staff member instructions and then made her way toward him.
He took a deep fortifying breath. This was it. This was his moment of truth.
He opened his mouth to speak but Ella interrupted him.
"Okay, I know I asked you this before but I know you don't like Shane to know when you're not feeling your best, so…are you really okay?" Ella asked as she placed her palm on his forehead and then the back of her hand to his cheek.
Nate sucked in a breath and reached his hand up to hold hers. He pulled her hand away from his face and studied it as he held it. Simultaneously delicate and rough. Only Ella. He softly brushed his thumb over her knuckles and then looked back up at her. "I'm fine. Well, mostly fine. But I'm definitely not sick with anything."
"Are you sure? Is there anything I can get? I know I've got Snickers in my purse if you need it..."
He traced his thumb over the back of her hand again and he heard her breathing hitch for just a moment. He watched Ella take a breath and let it out slowly as he continued to trace his thumb over her knuckles. Her eyes slowly moved up from their joined hands to his shoulders, passed his chest and then finally reached his face. She hesitated over his lips for a second and Nate felt a glimmer of hope. There was something very…intense about the way Ella was appraising him.
"Why do you have a Snickers bar in your purse?" Nate asked curiously as Ella finally met his eyes.
"I…well," She said as she started to blush. "its sugar and peanuts and I figure if your blood sugar ever starts to drop it would be the perfect thing so I always keep one in my purse." She paused to take a quick breath and then continued frantically. "Unless, you know I'm having a horrible day and then it's there for me. I love retail therapy as much as the next girl but there's some things that only chocolate can fix. You know?"
Nate chuckled at her and squeezed her hand. "Not really, but I'll take your word for it."
"And, you know, I care about you, Nate. I need to make sure someone on this tour looks out for you. Why not me?" Ella said softly with a shy smile.
"Yeah, why not you?" Nate repeated thoughtfully. She was right. Why not her? Why couldn't Ella feel for him what he felt for her? Sure they were friends, but their friendship didn't stop him from developing feelings for her. Why did he assume it would stop her from feeling anything for him?
Ella quirked a brow at him in confusion. "Huh?"
"Ella, I—" Nate cut off his own sentence and took her other hand in his. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders as if he were summoning all of his strength and then focused his gaze completely on her. He gulped nervously as her eyes met his with a look of concern and confusion. "How long have we known each other?"
"Nate, you're acting very strangely. What's going on?" She asked with a furrowed brow.
"Humor me please?" He asked with a pleading expression. "How long have we known each other?"
"Um, well, almost ten years now I guess," Ella said as she squinted thoughtfully.
"Exactly, almost ten years," Nate repeated. "That's nearly a decade."
"Are you…trying to make me feel old? Because you're totally succeeding. What's happening right now?" Ella asked as she squeezed both of his hands. "You're scaring me just a little bit. This sounds like a big moment you're trying to build up to. You sound nervous."
"Not nervous," Nate told her honestly. "Terrified, really."
"Right, that does not make me feel any better," Ella said warily. She then squeezed his hands reassuringly. "But whatever it is, you can tell me. I'm still Ella and you're still Nate. Just as we've always been."
"See, that's where you're wrong, Ells. Do you want to know why I'm terrified? I'm terrified because what I'm about to say is going to change everything between us. Everything we've been for practically the last decade is out the window as soon as these words leave my mouth," Nate said quickly. He paused for a moment and took another deep breath before he continued. "Whether the change is exceptionally amazing or extremely awkward is up to you and I'm sure if it's the later we'll move past it eventually but…well I'm hoping for the exceptionally amazing reaction."
He saw some sort of emotion he couldn't read flash across Ella's eyes before she looked down at their hands again and bit her bottom lip. She didn't say anything else and he took that as a sign he should keep going.
"Ella, I came to a huge realization tonight. I was standing on that stage watching you work, watching you smile, and laugh and—and I don't know—I was overwhelmed with how much you meant to me. My chest ached and suddenly I realized I'd be pretty much lost without you. With you, I'm…found. There's no other word for it. As long as you're in my life I'm never lost and I—I love you. I really love you," Nate said as he used his hold on her hands to pull her a few steps closer. He searched her eyes for a long moment before he said, "And I'm hoping that you love me too."
She opened her mouth to respond when suddenly the door to the room burst open and his security detail was standing there.
"Nate, its Meet and Greet time."
"Now?" He asked loudly.
"Yes, now. You've got about 500 individual people to meet and take photos with before the show starts. Let's go," the guard said as he motioned for Nate to come with him.
"I'm kind of in the middle of something, Ian," Nate said as he glared at the much taller retired marine.
Ian sighed and stepped into the room. He gave Ella an apologetic look. "Sorry, Ms. Pador, but I'm gonna have to steal him away from you for the next few hours. We've got to stay on schedule."
"Oh," Ella said with a gulp. Her voice sounded small and distant. Why did Ian have to show up now? "Right, you definitely don't want to keep all of those fans waiting. They paid a lot of money to meet you guys."
She released Nate's hands and took a few steps back. He fought the urge to reach out and take them back. They'd been so close.
"We'll, um, talk after," Ella said as she took a deep breath and finally caught his eye again.
"We will?" Nate asked worriedly. "You promise?"
She nodded slowly and looked down at her hands. "I promise. Go, you've got a show to focus on."
Typically, Ella stood beside the stage during the show. She watched them extremely closely and cheered and sang along as loudly as any fan. But not tonight. Tonight she was nowhere near the stage and that worried Nate. He'd been preoccupied during sound check and meet and greets but his focus during the show was the worst. He'd gotten so used to Ella always being there and now that she wasn't it was all he could think about. Was she okay? Did he scare her away? Was he wrong to hope that she might feel the same?
The show ended and Nate didn't even remember most of it. He'd gone through it on auto pilot. He didn't even know if the audience had enjoyed themselves. He felt a bit guilty about that, but there was nothing he could do now. Now he needed to find Ella. He stepped back stage and the cool air hit his sweat soaked shirt. He winced and sighed. Maybe he'd find her after he showered. To be honest, he was a little terrified of seeing Ella again. If she was going to refuse him then he'd rather not hear it. He was starting to wish he'd kept his damn mouth shut. He angrily turned the door knob on his dressing room door and shoved it open. Why was he always so stupid when it came to Ella?
He slammed the door shut and roughly pulled his shirt over his head before he tossed it aside. He turned to head toward his bathroom and froze promptly. He gulped and blinked as his eyes landed on Ella as she sat primly in a large arm chair. Her eyes seemed fixated on his bare chest and he self consciously looked around for a clean shirt. Nothing. Of course. Perfect.
He took a deep breath and then nervously met Ella's eyes.
"Hi," he said softly.
"Hi," She said as she stood up and walked toward him.
He didn't know what he was expecting her to do when she stopped mere centimeters from his chest but reaching up and pulling his lips down to meet hers wasn't it. He froze and held his hands out beside of him. He wasn't touching her, he wasn't kissing her back, and his eyes were wide open. His brain couldn't make sense of what was happening. Suddenly he caught a bit of Ella's perfume and then it all hit him at once. Her hands were resting on his bare chest and her lips were slowly moving against his.
Ella Pador was kissing him. Or trying to. He wasn't exactly responding.
She stopped and Nate felt panic rise in his chest as she pulled back a few inches and looked him in the eyes. He was just coming to his senses and she was quitting? She blushed furiously and looked down at her hands on his bare chest.
"I—I, oh God," Ella said as her blush faded and she paled with, what he assumed was, embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—I mean you're not even fully dressed and I just…attacked you. I—should go. Yes, I'll go and let you shower and…change clothes."
She stepped back one large step, but before she could pull her hands away from his chest Nate covered them with his own and held them there. He stared at her for a long moment and she nervously stared back at him. She gulped and shifted her weight from one leg to the other. After the moment lingered a bit longer than she expected she bit her bottom lip gently and furrowed her brow at him. He brought one of his hands up and gently swiped his thumb across her furrowed brow. She had nothing to worry about and nothing to be sorry about either.
He grinned at her before he spoke. "What are you apologizing for?"
"I—I kissed you with no warning whatsoever," Ella said slowly as if it should have been obvious.
"Yeah, you did. But I still don't understand why you're apologizing," Nate told her with a smirk.
"You didn't seem to enjoy it, Nate. You tensed up," Ella said as she looked away from him. "I mean you froze! You didn't even try to ki—"
He didn't know what possessed him to dip his head and close the distance between them, but he was extremely glad he did. The minute he kissed her Ella let out a soft whine. She tasted like peppermint for some reason. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her flush against him. He traced along her bottom lip with his tongue and she eagerly parted her lips and allowed him to deepen the kiss. This time, he was the one who made a noise. He groaned into her mouth and kissed her harder. He slowly backed her up toward the wall as they kissed and prayed they missed the arm chair. He couldn't quite see where he was leading them. But then Ella's back hit the wall and Nate found himself pressed up against her once again. He could feel every one of her curves against him and it felt deliciously sinful. His hands left her waist and found her hands that she'd flattened against his chest. He held them both in his own and then pinned them behind her back.
If this was a dream or if she changed her mind then there was no way she could sneak away from him with her arms pinned behind her. Ella whined again and then seemed to explore his mouth with her tongue more vigorously than before. She squirmed against him as they kissed and then arched her back when he removed his lips from hers and placed them on the curve of her neck.
"Nate," she said breathlessly as he nibbled and sucked on what he'd figured out was a very sensitive spot for her if the way she'd shivered was any indication. "Oh God, Nate. Can we—" She stopped to gasp appreciatively and Nate smirked against her skin and relented to let her finish her question. She took a deep calming breath and then gulped before starting again. "Can we stop for a minute?"
"Need to catch your breath?" He asked with a grin.
She blushed and giggled at him. "Something like that. I think we should actually talk too though. Before we," She said as she paused to clear her throat pointedly. "Get carried away."
He pulled back just an inch or two to look her in the eye and released her hands. He smiled warmly at her and nodded. "You're probably right. I just…well I'd been waiting a long time to do that."
"Definitely, worth the wait," Ella said as she used her newly freed hands to fan herself. "Oh god, it's warm in here isn't it?"
Nate chuckled and kissed her forehead. "No, I think that's just us, Ella."
He watched her as she closed her eyes and took another deep calming breath. She smiled serenely and he wondered what she was thinking. She appeared to be enjoying the moment. He hoped she was. He certainly was. Everything felt more intimate now. Like it belonged to only them. She opened her eyes and the warmth of her gaze slammed into him. All of a sudden he found it hard to breathe.
"I love you, Nate," she said easily. Almost as if she'd been rehearsing this moment all of her life. The words rolled off of her tongue so naturally that he almost couldn't believe she'd never admitted this to him before. She said it as if there was no other option but for her to love him and like it had to be the most obvious thing in the world.
But it wasn't. Not to him.
"You do?" He asked. "You really do? Because you don't have to say them back to me, Ella. If you're not there yet then I can wait. I just…I want a chance with you. It's okay if we're not in the same place."
She gently placed a hand over his lips to silence him and smiled softly. "Nate, I wouldn't say it if I wasn't sure. I don't throw those words around easily, you know. I saw what pretend love did to my parents and I won't be a part of that. You know that better than anyone."
He nodded. "I do. You're right."
"Then you have to believe me, Nate. I love you," she repeated. "I think I always have somewhere deep down. I just never realized it until…until you said something. It was all there staring me in the face. I knew I cared about you and I knew it was more than platonic but love never crossed my mind until you confronted me with it and…you were right. You were completely right. I love you so much that it's almost overwhelming."
He beamed at her and kissed her long and hard. He pulled her body into his again and let his hand slip under the hem of her recently untucked blouse. Ella dipped her hands into his curls and then nipped at his bottom lip. Nate smiled against her mouth and then pulled away to look her.
"We've lost so much time," Nate told her ruefully.
She shrugged and placed a hand on either side of his face. He felt her thumbs trail across his checks and closed his eyes as he leaned into their warmth for just a moment. When he opened them he found Ella's bright eyes watching him closely.
"We've found more than we lost, Nate. Just remember that."
"With you by my side how could I forget?" Nate asked as a contented smile overtook his face. "I love you. So much."
She beamed at him and flushed bright pink from her neck to her hairline. He'd never seen anything more beautiful.
"I love you too, Nate."
They'd finally found each other and he'd be damned if he was going to waste any more time. He leaned down to kiss her again but she placed a hand on his chest to stop him.
"You're still sweaty."
"You didn't seem to mind before," Nate said with a teasing chuckle.
"It's hard to think of anything with your tongue down my throat," Ella said with a playful glare. "But now I can think again. And you're sweaty. Go shower."
He sighed and his shoulders sagged. "But—"
"Go," She said with a smile before she leaned forward and softly kissed his bare shoulder. "And while you're in the shower I'll go track down another shirt for you to wear."
"Why, exactly, are we putting on more clothes?" Nate asked with a playful smirk and quirked eyebrow.
Ella flushed again. "Nate!"
"What?" He asked with an amused smile.
"Go shower. I'm going to find you a shirt," Ella said firmly before she turned and winked at him. "We'll continue this conversation later when you don't smell like B.O. Trust me, we're not done here. Not at all."
She sauntered out the room and tried her best to straighten her hair and clothes before stepping out into the hallway. He smirked after her and shook his head. He thought he'd been attracted to her before. He was really in trouble now.
And he planned to enjoy every minute of it.