Chapter One

The last of the winter storms was past them and spring work had begun. Four weeks had passed since Adam brought Micah home. It had been only a few days before then that Abel, Adam and Shiloh's firstborn, arrived.

Micah was still confined to bed at the Ponderosa after a man from his past had branded his feet and left him for dead in the high desert. He was learning to make do with less laudanum, and had begun to eat because he was hungry rather than because he was told.

Hop Sing had managed to keep infection from the severe burns at bay with a cream he and Cheron had concocted. Still, Dr. Martin wondered if Micah would ever walk again on soles with little skin left.

Shiloh had managed to walk albeit a few steps at first, but taking a few steps more each day. But by the end of the day, her exhaustion in fighting the pain was plain on her face. Paul was sure that if Abel's difficult birth had caused a fracture, it was well on its way to healing, but he was also sure that muscle and connective tissue injuries could easily take longer than small fractures. He encouraged her to walk every day, assuring her that using her muscles would only strengthen them.

Evenings were her favorite time of day because Adam was home. He never came in before dark, doing as much as possible around the ranches as long as light permitted. Yet even though he was at home, many nights he may as well have been absent. He washed, ate dinner and then retreated to his study occupied at his new desk and drawing table that had arrived only the week before.

He was there, Shiloh lamented, though absent. She spent her evenings in the office with him, if only to be close. By that time, she was tired and would retreat to the wheelchair. Little Abel lay quietly in his cradle next to her as she read in between loving but melancholy glances at Adam's back.

Tonight, she had read the same page several times before she gave up and closed the book. Looking down beside her, she checked on Abel, and then pushed herself up out of the chair. She remained in place until she felt steady. In all that movement, Adam never lifted his head from his drawings.

He had hung those that were finished on the wall in front of him to reference while he completed another elevation of the Hotaling Building which had changed from a hotel to offices and a warehouse for the Hotaling's whiskey business.

Taking a deep breath, a smile moved across his lips when her hands touched his shoulders, moving slowly down his back, around his sides and across his chest as she pressed into him. At first, he continued to draw, but stopped, slowly laying his pencil down when he felt her head settle on his back. He found her hand, lifting it to his lips. "Why don't I take you upstairs?"

"I'm not going without you."

He chuckled. "Well, that's true considering I have to carry you up the stairs."

"If you take me upstairs, I'm not going to let you come back down."

Tightening his lips into a line, he said, "I need to finish these drawings tonight and get them out on the morning stage to San Francisco."

Lifting her head, she placed her chin on his shoulder and spoke in his ear. "You get up before dawn and you don't stop until after midnight. You can't keep this up."

"Spring is always busy. You know that."

"I also know that this spring is unusually busy for you because Hoss and Micah can't help."

He turned around and pulled her into him. "We had this conversation last night."

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she continued, "And we had this conversation the night before and the night before that. Adam, you need more help. All this work is wearing you, and Joe and Pa out."

He lifted her into his arms and stood, carrying her out of the office toward the stairs. "Sweetheart, we're used to long hours in the spring. This isn't unusual."

"It is. Before Slater, you came home, relaxed and went to bed. Now you come home, bathe, eat and go back to work. And aren't you forgetting someone?"

Adam tucked his tongue in his cheek and turned around, heading back for the office. Once there, he set Shiloh on her feet, lifted Abel out of his cradle and placed him in his mother's arms, then lifted her again and resumed his journey up the stairs to their bedroom where he went directly to the bed and lay her down.

She frowned. "Adam, I'm dressed. I can't go to bed without changing into my gown."

"Stay right there while I put Abel to bed," he said, yawning. "I'll help you back up."

Shiloh waited until Adam entered the nursery next to their bedroom, then slowly moved to the side of the bed and sat up. Their new furniture had finally been delivered, and now in their own bedroom with a new, somewhat higher, firmer bed, it was easier for her to move in it. She took several deep breaths and stood, wavering for a moment. She'd left her cane in the study.

"Adam," she called loud enough for him to hear her in the nursery, "I need to feed him before I lay down. Bring him back, please."

Adam turned back toward the bedroom and leaned against the door frame with one ankle crossed over the other and his hands tucked into his armpits. He twisted his mouth into a sideways pucker as he watched her hobble to the chest of drawers and take out her night gown. She unbuttoned her blouse with one hand as she steadied herself against the chest with the other, and when she let her hand drop to her side and visibly sagged, he hurried to her, grasping her upper arms.

"Sweetheart, let me help."

Taking a deep breath, she smiled, though he couldn't see it. "I have to get used to doing things for myself, Adam. I'm just tired." She side-stepped him and slowly shuffled back to the bed where she sat and finished undressing. By the time she pulled her gown over her head, Adam was standing by with Abel, ready to pass the baby to her.

He stayed while she settled Abel down for his meal, and once Abel seemed content in her arms, he moved toward the door.

"Please don't go."

He stopped and waited for a moment before he turned to her. "I have to finish tonight."

"What harm would there be if you sent the drawings on the noon stage? You don't really think Robert's going to rush right over to deliver them do you. No, he'll take some time to go over them before he does that."

Adam scratched his neck. "It's not just the Hotaling Building. I have other work to do."

When she looked up at him, the dark circles around her eyes seemed more pronounced in the low light of the lamp on the night table. Her eyes were dull, her lips taut and pale...she looked so tired.

"I miss you," she whispered before she lowered her gaze to her son as she gently stroked the fine hair on his head while the child obliviously took his nourishment. Without looking back up, she continued, "I want you to start sleeping in this bed."

Taking several steps toward her, he shook his head, trying to find words that wouldn't disappoint her too badly. "Shiloh, I don't want to cause you any more pain than you're already in."

She snorted. "I don't know what's worse. The pain in my hips or the pain in my heart." She turned her pleading eyes to up to his. "This is a bigger bed. It doesn't sink like your old bed. I just want to be able to reach out and feel you beside me. That's all."

He dropped his forehead into his hand and stroked his temples. "All right. I'll be back after I finish up the drawing I was working on." She opened her mouth to protest, but he raised a finger along with his eyebrows. "I just need to check it and take down the drawings on the wall. I won't be long."

She lowered her eyes and said nothing more.

By the time Adam returned, Shiloh was asleep with Abel at her side. He collected the baby and moved him to the baby bed he'd added to the furniture order soon after they moved into the house, then stripped, leaving his clothes in a heap on the floor, and for the first time since Abel's birth, he slipped under the covers of the new bed next to his wife.