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The unstoppable feeling of guilt and sudden lonely filled his heart, minute by minute.
Damn.
Damn.
Damn.
Damn.
It was the only thing going trough his mind. He still didn't understand how the life could be so mean and unfair. Why, after all his good will, was it Jesse the one left behind? Jesse was innocent. Jesse was good.
In his eyes, Jesse was a hero.
And still, the whole school and the students came back to the Earth safely, except him. A part of him was glad his other friends were okay: Cyrus, Hussleberry, Alexis, Chazz, Axel, Jim…
He clenched his fists as the bitter feeling of anger filled his veins now. Angry with the world, with the other world, with the Rainbow Dragon, with Yubel…
Yubel. Another problem who threatened to kill him slowly. He didn't want Yubel to be like that, a be drowned in loneliness, anger, revenge… just like he felt now. Probably that's why when he recognized Yubel after all the time, he felt as he was looking at himself in a mirror.
Sure, he had his amazing friends and people who cared for him, but in these days, he couldn't help but think he was the responsible for all the bad things they lived. He couldn't help but think that before him, his friends lived a happy life, but now they followed him on his adventures, they suffered a lot.
Jesse probably took the worst. He wanted to save everyone by a duel, and he reached his goal. But, at what coast? To be left behind on a strange dimension. Unfair.
So depressive. What was he supposed to do now? He wanted to go again to the other world and rescue his best friend, even risking his own life. He knew Jesse was alive, but if it was so, Yubel was definitely too, and maybe close to Jesse.
It doesn't matter, he thought. It was his entire fault and now he had to fix it up. He had to trust in his deck, in the mere hope of finding Jesse and come back safe, in himself.
In himself. He remembered how it felt, trusting, believing in his abilities and his strength with all his heart, but it now seemed a distant memory. How could he, if he failed at saving his best friend. If he failed in his attempt to make Yubel better. All the mistakes from his past were now haunting him, and he was destined to loose.
He was surprised with himself at having so deep thoughts. Since when was he like this? Oh, right. Since all the world around him crushed over him and tore him up.
He wondered if the happy boy he used to be was somewhere. Deep inside? No. Not there. He tried to look deeper…
Deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper…