Smirkfiction: Bechloe
The Weight of Unraveling
Author's Note: This takes place during the time period of the movie. Chloe doesn't have nodes. That's all you really need to know. Oh, and Beca doesn't like Jesse, though he likes her. Bla!
Introduction:
Beca Mitchell wanted Chloe Beale. Bad. She'd spent the first couple of months of college dealing with it. And by the middle of October, she'd finally made it through all the stages.
It started with denial 0n day one. Chloe and Aubrey, her best friend and co-captain of the Bellas, had introduced themselves at the recruitment fair. And from the moment the redhead's powdery blue eyes collided with Beca's dark green ones, she was struck. The girl was unbelievably gorgeous. And the way her eyes had scanned over the brunette, sizing her up, had given Beca cold chills. She wasn't a social butterfly, by any means, but something about Chloe made her want to get closer, find out more, explore. She found the soft ivory of the other girl's skin to be captivating. She was entranced by the way she breathed in softly and her breasts rose and fell with her inhale and exhale. Her auburn curls fell around her face in exact symmetry and framed her cheeks, her jawline, her chin. And the girl's voice was... Well, it was spectacular. Flawless. Exquisite. Beca was drawn to basically every aspect of her.
And that totally, and completely freaked Beca out. Being that into someone that she'd only just met made her want to turn and run. And so she pretended, early on, that it was nothing but the casual curiosity that came with meeting someone new and unique. Beca came from a small town, and her high school had been full of assholes and losers. She kept to herself. This was the first real social interaction she'd had with someone that wasn't a cretin in... A long time. So it was to be expected. She wasn't attracted to Chloe, or so she told herself. She was just really interested in.. In the other girl's individuality.
It took about a week for denial to turn into anger. It was ridiculous that she couldn't get Chloe out of her mind! She wanted to find her again, properly introduce herself, maybe ask the girl if she wanted to hang out. And she couldn't come up with a single reason why, either. Beca was finally in college, and so she should have been out partying and having fun and being social, right? But instead of any of that, she was just sitting in her dorm room (being absolutely ignored by Kimmy Jin, her roommate) and thinking about a girl she'd barely even spoken. One afternoon she had even gotten on her facebook and scrolled through the girl's photos. With every click of the mouse, every scroll of the screen, Beca got more and more frustrated. Every picture she looked at, made her want to look at another. And it only got worse from there. She read her posts, looked through her interests, and a few hours later, her frustration and bewilderment turned into rage. Or at least more enhanced annoyance. Why couldn't she stop? She slammed her fist down on her desk and said "Ugg!" Kimmy Jin, of course, just rolled her eyes and continued to work on her biochemistry homework.
A few days later, when Chloe stepped into Beca's shower, and practically forced the completely naked brunnete to sing along to "Titanium", anger morphed very quickly into bargaining. Back in her room, toweling off, and trying to steady her shaking hands, she thought about the creamy white sweep of the other girl's abdomen. She thought about her perfectly rounded breasts, her perky pink nipples, and then, guiltily, she thought about the place between the other girl's thighs. She bit down hard, flexed the muscles in her jaws and climbed into bed, begging herself to think of anything else. Chloe lived in her dorm. She shared the same showers that Beca used. Her room was on the same floor. It was all too much. She started to wonder whether or not she should request a dorm change or something. She found herself thinking things like "If I just stay away from her, the feelings will go away," and "If I find a boyfriend, I can stay distracted." That was initally why she entertained Jesse's flirting.
But joining the Bella's made things worse and trying to avoid the other girl seemed fruitless. Due to their matching heights, Captain Aubrey paired the two of them together for choreography practice and so every Tuesday and Thursday, Chloe had her hands on Beca. She moved her arms to the beat, helped her position her body in the correct manner. It was torture. Even hanging out with Jesse and watching lame movies didn't help. She spent the entire time thinking about Chloe. She replayed, in her mind, practically everything that the girl had said to her throughout the day. They began texting. Beca responded too quickly, felt foolish, sat around overthinking her replies. Bargaining slipped into depression, and she started laying around, wishing that she'd never even gone to Barden in the first place, or at least not agreed to join the Bellas. She started to crave being around Chloe, and simultaneously, wanted to stay as far away from her as possible.
Now, Friday, the day before Fall Break, she'd finally approached the last stage- acceptance. It was a quiet epiphany that she had in Grammar, her last class of the day. She was sitting the back row, doodling a picture of a ship in the margin of her notes, and drowning out the incesant rambling of the professor. Kimmy Jin had already gone home for the break, and wouldn't be back until that following Thursday, for the classes. As a university, they got a full three days of break (not including the weekend). It wasn't exactly long enough to do anything exciting, but Beca was grateful for the temporary cessation of her studies. All she wanted to do was go back to her dorm and nap. Without Kimmy Jin there, she could sleep as long as she wanted, and then stay up super late as a consequence. And she wouldn't have anyone else to consider. Only, as she pondered what she would do over the next five days, she realized something- she HAD no plans. The student-ran radio station was closed for the break, and so without class or work, she was free from responsibility. And for some reason, in deciding what she would do, her mind instantly went to Chloe. Had the redhead mentioned any plans yesterday at practice? Was she going home? She couldn't help but hope that she wasn't. Aubrey had announced to the group that she was driving up to Maine to see her grandparents, and a few of the other girls had voiced their plans. Amy was skipping all of her classes Friday, taking a plane to Australia that morning and not coming back until the weekend after Fall break ended. Beca couldn't remember if Chloe had said anything or not. And anxiously, she began tapping her pen on her desk.
That was when it happened. A boy next to her leaned over and asked her to stop tapping her pen, and THEN, as she glared back at him, and considered hitting him in the forehead with it, she realized something. She liked Chloe. She really, really liked Chloe. And not just in this simple, platonic way either. She was into her.
She thought about the girl naked, for God's sake, and every single fucking Tuesday and Thursday, she put a little more effort into her wardrobe, just to impress her. She'd learned the girl's shower routine (every night at eight), so that she could casually stroll in the bathroom at 8:15 and catch her as she was strutting back to her room in just a towel. She knew Chloe's favorite food (potato soup) and her favorite beverages (hot coffee with two creams, three sugars, or Vanilla Coke). She knew that the redhead was a music education major, and was employed as a desk worked in their dorm at the same hours Beca worked in the radio station (Monday and Wednesday from 5 to 10). She knew she was an only child, and lived in Hartford Connecticut in a huge house with her mother and grandfather, about three hours from where Barden was located. She knew a lot of stuff about the girl, like, that she prefered cats over dogs but liked dogs too, that her favorite movie was The Phantom of the Opera, and that she'd been doing yoga for years. Beca was especially interested in that last one, because sometimes she would do yoga at Bellas meetings, and the way her leggings fit her thights and stretched over her ass when she bent over was enough to cause the younger girl to bite her lip.
It was just pointless to deny it anyone- Beca Mitchell wanted Chloe Beale. She wanted her in absolutely any way she could have her, and the feeling only got more and more intense the longer nothing happened. Beca had began to akin the sensation of being around the other girl to the ticking of a time-bomb. Only, she had no idea how long the bomb had before it would explode. The pressure was incredible. And though, she nearly suffocated from it all when she was near Chloe, she was totally sure that the feelings were one-sided. And that her insatiable hunger for her would remain just that- insatiable.
She had accepted the fact that she wanted her. That was hard enough. But now she felt as though she had to accept that it was hopeless. They would never be more than friends.