To Love and Be Loved in Return

Disclaimer: I do not own Moulin Rouge or any of it's characters. I do, however, own Jolie, Joanna, Adrienne, Viollette, Alexandre, and of course Fitz. They are mine SO YOU CAN"T TAKE THEM!!!! No I am just kidding…..who would want to take my characters anyway?!?! But if you really did…..I don't know why you would……just ask…I don't really care!!!

A/N: What if Christian had dreamed every thing up? What he had never really met Satine or Zidler or the Duke? What if everything was just a figment of his imagination??

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Christian rubbed his eyes. He stood up from the table and walked to the large window that sat in front of him. A sudden pain ached his head and he grabbed a hold of it. He allowed the pain to subside before turning back to his type writer. He took a deep breath and sat down. He let his thoughts overtake himself as he silently studied the blank paper stuck deep inside the machine. He rubbed his eyes again as a final thought struck him……SATINE?!?!?!

Christian looked around his garret, as if he expected to find her huddled in a corner somewhere, and found several abandoned glasses of Absinthe. He immediately got up from his seat and inspected the glasses. He picked them each up, one by one, and studied them thoroughly. Nothing…..no reason to explain his dream.

Oh, what a dream it had been….a nightclub, a strange man, a tyrant, drunk men, beautiful women. That's when he struck something. An image appeared in his mind…..a woman, a woman with fiery red hair, a women with sparkling blue eyes, a woman with the voice of an angel. Who is she?? Christian thought to himself. Satine………

Christian tightly closed eyes and breathed in deep. He let all his remembrance of the dream float around in his head…Where is she now??? He thought to himself. He slowly opened his eyes back up and looked around. He needed to find answers, answers for his dreams. He wanted to know who she was and why he dreamed about her. He knew one thing already, however, he had loved her and she had loved him in return. His suddenly had felt his own heart break….it was his first real love but yet, she wasn't even real. At least, he didn't think she was.

Christian shut his eyes and bowed his head. He stayed like that for a while until a familiar face popped down the hole that was made only yesterday. Satie popped his head in the hole and looked about Christian's garret. Christian looked back up at him with swollen eyes. Satie climbed down the ladder and went by Christian's side. He sat down on the bed and looked at Christian. Christian looked back at him with a puzzled look upon his face.

"Christian, was the matter?" Satie asked. Christian looked back at the floor. He slowly ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath. Satie just stared at him and searched his eyes for an answer. Christian looked back at Satie.

"I had the strangest dream," Christian looked back at the floor and clamped his hands together. Satie still looked at him. "It was about a girl, a most beautiful one at that. Her hair was a flow of red silk. Her eyes, a kind of pale jewel. Her voice of a gentle brook. For the first time in my life I was in love. I was in love with a dream. She lived in a world of poverty and sadness and she seemed to light up the room every time she entered it. I remember going to a club, a club of your dreams, filled to the end with women, beautiful women. She came out and touched my heart simply by glancing my way. I recited my poetry for her and simply mistook me for a Duke. When I convinced her to love me on top of her glamorous elephant. Then, when she went with the Duke and she realized her love for me." Christian paused and closed his eyes again. Satie inched closer to Christian.

"Was that it?" Satie asked curiously.

"Well, you see, I was hired to write a bohemian play and the night of the production……she…..she," Christian found it incredibly difficult to say the dreaded word….Dead. He took some more deep breaths and relaxed himself. "She died." Christian stood up and walked to the window once more. He couldn't bare the thought. Even though he had never seen her, touched her, smelled her….his dream was so……real. He loved some one for the first time in his life. He just couldn't figure out who she was or why he dreamed of her. And, why did he feel so bad about her death? It was as if she was his real love. But just exactly who was she?

Satie came up behind him and stood behind him. Christian stared blankly out the window. Satie buried his hands in his pockets and joined Christian in the act of staring. There was a long silence before either spoke again. Christian was the one to break it.

"Who was she Satie?" Christian asked, still staring out into the town below.

"Do you know her name?" Satie asked him in return, coming up on Christian's side.

"Satine," Christian replied, turning to face Satie. Satie's face lighted up.

"Satine? Are you sure?" Satie asked astounded. Christian nodded and turned back to the window.

"Satie, what exactly happened to me last night?" Christian turned back to face him. Satie moved over to Christian's bed and sat down to think.

"You were drunk on Absinthe," Satie replied. "We pulled you upstairs to help us rehearse and you got drunk." Christian turned back to the window once again.

"Christian, if you would excuse me, I have some, uh, things to discuss with the other Bohos!" Satie said flatly as he turned towards the ladder, not even waiting for an answer. Christian watched him go up into the second floor and cast his eyes upon the mirror.

The Greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and beloved in return……