The Sickness

A/N: Just felt like it.

Artemis Fowl had always hated being sick. It generally came with a pounding headache that made it hard for him to think (which, for him, was generally bad indeed), sneezes that would annoy him every few minutes, and a hacking cough that caused him to double over. It was not a very pleasant feeling. Plus, on the off chance that he had a fever; a fever would loosen his lips immensely, which wasn't good if you used to be a criminal mastermind at the age of twelve. Luckily, for Artemis Fowl, he didn't get sick all that often.

Unluckily, on a very clear Saturday morning, Artemis woke up with a headache and a tickle in his throat. Deciding to ignore the sickness that was coming on, he only grabbed a muffin before anyone woke up, and went to his computer to work. He had managed to ignore the onslaught of symptoms until Butler had come in, going to coax Artemis from working. When Artemis had asked him to leave, Butler had become exasperated.

"I know you can hear me, Master Artemis," said Butler. If it wasn't for the fact that he had trained, and dealt with Artemis for years, he probably would have allowed some exasperation colour his voice. However, Butler was too good to do such a thing as to show his emotions unless in a life or death situation. Or maybe when Artemis was doing something really stupid. "It's time for lunch."

Artemis sighed. Whenever he was sick, he never felt hungry either, unless his favourite food came into the room. Otherwise, his stomach just sat on empty, but acted as if it was full. "I'm fine, Butler."

"Artemis!" exclaimed Butler. "Talk to me."

Suddenly, Artemis got why Butler couldn't hear him, or rather, Artemis couldn't hear himself talk. He had lost his voice to the blasted sickness. He scowled, letting out emotions that he wouldn't have had.

Artemis opened up a Word document and typed in very large letters.

"I HAVE LOST MY VOICE," the text said.

Butler, who could read it from the door, immediately manhandled Artemis into the cover. Spluttering soundlessly and fighting Butler off (even though he knew that it wouldn't do any good), Artemis glared at Butler.

Butler, who saw the glare, narrowed his eyes. "How long have you been sick? Or rather, how long have you known that you were sick?"

Artemis rolled his eyes. It wasn't as if he had the ability to tell Butler after being taken away from his computer.

Butler, realizing this, rummaged through Artemis's desk. He managed to find a pen and paper, Butler knew that if he gave Artemis a laptop, Artemis would never rest, and handed it to the affronted genius.

"Write," Butler commanded.

Artemis glared at Butler, telling him exactly where he could stick his command, but grudgingly wrote. When Artemis was sick, he was more snappy and free with his feelings as well.

"Just when you came to get me for lunch," Artemis lied.

Butler rolled his eyes. "Artemis," Butler stressed. "Do you not think that I can tell when you're lying?"

Crossing his arms, Artemis raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, maybe you still can lie to me convincingly," Butler conceded. "But not when you're unwell."

"This morning," wrote Artemis grudgingly.

Butler sighed. "And, of course, you decide to just ignore it until it got worse. I'll go cook up some soup. Stay."

Artemis scowled. He was not a dog! Before he could write down his ire, or throw the pen at Butler's head, Butler had already left his bedroom. Frowning, Artemis could only lie down and stare up at the ceiling. For some reason, he felt like he forgot something…

"Mud-boy, what are you doing still in bed?"

Artemis stifled a groan, although it wouldn't have been vocalized. Majour Holly Short was coming to visit today. It was a full moon tonight, so she had come up to do the ritual. The day before, Holly had told Artemis that she needed some help on a case. Artemis agreed to help, but he was currently regretting it.

Holly jumped down from the window from which she flew from. She walked up to Artemis and frowned. It wasn't like Artemis to be still in bed. Although Foaly had told her that most Mud-Men generally lazed around on the weekend, Holly knew that Artemis Fowl did not just 'laze around'.

"C'mon, rise and shine, it's a new day!" Holly stated, grabbing Artemis's arm to drag him out of bed when Butler had walked in, a bowl of soup in his hands. He blinked when he noticed Holly in there, but sighed.

"Majour, what are you doing here?" Butler asked.

"Just up here for the ritual," answered Holly. "I asked the Mud-boy for some help on a case, though."

"Sorry, but Master Artemis is unwell," said Butler.

Holly blinked and looked down at Artemis. Now that she paid attention to his face, he did look paler than usual (which was saying something) and his cheeks were flushed a little red. Holly felt Artemis's forehead, ignoring Artemis flinching backwards, and her eyes widened when she felt how hot he really was.

"He's burning up!" she exclaimed.

Butler frowned. "Make him eat the soup. I'll grab the thermometer."

The soup was transferred from Butler's hands to Holly's. As soon as the soup left his hands, Butler turned around to grab the thermometer.

Artemis frowned. Just because he couldn't talk didn't mean that they could just pretend that he wasn't there! Treating him as if he was some child. (Artemis conveniently forgot that although he was light years smarter than most people that he was still technically 15. Or was it 18? Damn time travel.)

"Mud-boy, you have to eat," Holly said. She put the soup in his lap and sighed at his stubborn expression. "I'll force feed you if I have to."

Artemis, who knew the force that Holly could dish out, immediately picked up his spoon and started eating.

Holly smirked as she patted his head. "That's a good Mud-boy."

Artemis glared at her as she just chuckled.

When Artemis was halfway done with his soup, Butler had come back with the thermometer. Artemis put the thermometer in his mouth himself and they waited until the thermometer beeped.

The thermometer read 101 degrees.

Butler sighed. "I'll go call the doctor."

Holly smiled at Butler. "I'll stay here just in case he causes any trouble."

Butler smirked. "Oh, he'll cause a lot of trouble."

Artemis frowned. Didn't they realize that he was right bloody there?

Butler left once again and Holly was left alone with Artemis. Artemis finished the rest of the soup and could feel that his throat felt better. Perhaps he could even talk…?

"Holly?" he croaked.

"Yes, Mud-boy?" asked Holly.

"Come closer," he managed to state.

Holly leaned in closer. "What?"

Artemis kissed Holly on the cheek and rolled over to sleep. He smirked.

Holly spluttered as she blushed, reeling back. Butler had come in, seeing Artemis sleeping and Holly blushing furiously.

"What happened?"

"He kissed me on the cheek!" Holly exclaimed.

Butler smirked. "Oh."

"What's with that 'oh'!"

"You know what the best way to get rid of a cold?"

"What?"

"To transfer it to someone else."

Holly sneezed. "D'arvit!"