Hey. (:
In the past couple of days I wanted to write a Ryan/Lulu so badly.
So I just started writing from Ryan's POV and I didn't really have a plot in my head.
But I like what came out of it. (:
Although it's a little too anti Ryan/Lulu, because I looove them together. :D
So, enjoy!

I'm Ryan.
People in school call me 'the lucky dude who gets to date Kelsey'. I suppose, it's pretty justifiable to call me that.

Kelsey's great. She's gorgeous and.. Yeah, well she's great.
Sure, she's not just beautiful. I guess she's also pretty smart and... we kinda have the same kind of humor, don't we?

Anyways, she's a nice girl. But, just not THE girl.

She's not that girl, that I wanna call my girlfriend.
She's not the one, whom I've known for forever.
She's not the one, who constantly lightens up my mood by her bare appearance.
And Kelsey certainly not the one, that couldn't bore me even if I'd spend the whole summer with her.

As cruel as it may sound.
My so called 'good match' isn't the person I'd give anything for.

But I mean, she's nice.
So why break up?
That wouldn't make sense, because do like her, kinda. As someone, who you'd like to spend the afternoon with and then IM now and then, you know. And I wouldn't wanna hurt her.

It wouldn't make sense to end that relationship, because the girl I truly liked was head over heals for some other guy.

I wouldn't have a chance with her.
She's constantly texting that Mikey kid. Constantly babbling about him. It's annoying as hell.

But thing is, I saw her first.
She was my Double Lu before he even started getting to know her.

How did he even came up with the idea, he had any right to take her away from me?

Like, after school: We would always hang in True's office and just do any kind of nonsense. But not anymore.
Now that she's dating Mister Student Council, she spends less time with me.
It's not fair, that he gets to have her, simply because.. well, yeah, because of what?
Because he was a good looking lacrosse player?
I had no idea why she liked him.

She was supposed to like me.
I was her best friend. We were True's sidekicks.
That's two cliches for people who always end up together!
I mean, come on!
Hermione and that Weasley kid, Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable, Izzie and George (not that I watch Grey's Anatomy, of course.)...
But that golden rule is obviously not made for reality.

There have actually been times, where I considered telling Lulu what I really felt for her.
One time, I was so close to admit the truth.
It was after she had seen True dancing with Mikey a few weeks ago.
But before I dared telling her, it had turned out to be just a dance lesson. Yea, right.

I still don't trust that boy.

I couldn't continue living like that.
Pretending to be into someone I'm not.
Pretending I'm cool with just being friends with my Lulu.
I had to change that.

As if she had heard my thoughts, which wasn't that unusual with us, she logged into her MSN messenger.
I decided to take my chance.

RidonculousRyan: hey, lu!
HonoLULU: hey ryan, do u no when weve to hand in the eng assignment?
RidonculousRyan: um, afaik on tuesday
HonoLULU: rly? Thx u saved my butt
RidonculousRyan: lulu?
HonoLULU: sup?
RidonculousRyan: i wanna talk 2 u 2morror bout sth, kay?
HonoLULU: y not now?
RidonculousRyan: its rly important. Ok, gotta go, cu
RidonculousRyan is now offline.

Admittedly, I didn't have to go offline, but I didn't want her to ask question about the topic of our talk.
Now there was no turning back, apparently.
Or maybe.... I should just make up some story instead of telling her how I feel.
That would be much easier.

There again, life's just not supposed to be easy.

Oh.
My gosh.
What would I say to say?
Something like: "Hey, I know you've chased after your current boyfriend for like a decade, and I'm dating someone, too, but I thought, maybe you wanna forget about them and start going out with me?" Probably not gonna work.

Or what about? "Hey, Lulu. I know, that may sound strange now, but I'm in love with you. I don't care about Kelsey and you shouldn't care about you stupid dumbass boyfriend either!" No... wouldn't be that intelligent, I guess.

It was supposedly not right to practice my speech anyway. She'd notice it.

I would just let it happen. It'd feel more real, anyway.
My stomach tingled.
Wow, nervous already? Not a good sign.

So, today was the big day.
Telling Lulu, I was in love with her. That sounded indeed kinda strange. Nothing you'd expect from me. Nothing SHE would expect from me.

I would not break up with Kelsey before admitting it to Lulu.
If Lu said we should act like I had never told her, than that would be fine.
Okay, it'd be horrible. But at least I still had a girlfriend, who could distract me.
I know how that sounds... not very friendly.
Man, how did I get into this?

After the second period, I had already drunk like 3 or 4 cups of coffee, so I was ready to fight this battle. Now or never.
I'm going to do it. And she's going to be glad about the truth and we would end up happy.

I saw Lulu walking down the hallway towards me.
I waved, which instantly made her smile. That's how I like my Lulu.

When she was close enough, I took a deep breath and asked her: "Can we talk now?"
"Sure, what's u-"
No way I could tell her something that important in the school hallway.
I dragged her into an empty classroom, before she could even finish her sentence.

Lulu laughed. "Seriously Ryan, what's wrong? Why have you been acting so weird lately?"
Have I? I hadn't noticed that at all, especially because I tried to be extra careful about never hinting on my true feelings.

"Um... I thought a lot. You know... I mean about us."

"Cool, thinking's great. To which conclusion did you come?" Lulu was still grinning.
I put my hands on her shoulders and moved a step closer. She started to look a little confused.

"Lu, we've known each other for so long and... You're kinda like my favorite person on this freaking planet and I think, well, I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you."

Her face fell.

"No, you're not." She looked down.
"What?"
That's not quite the reaction I hoped for.
"You... You're with Kelsey. You can't have feelings for someone else. No."

"But, Lulu. You're not just someone else. You're the most special girl I know. In a good way, of course." I tried to get a hold of her hand, but she drew it away.

"I'm... I'm dating Mikey, Ryan. You know that. You know that we're both best friends. Why do you wanna ruin that link between us?"

That couldn't be.
She couldn't be like that.
This conversation went the complete wrong way!
I had imagined hugs and kisses at this point of the talk.

"Ruin? Lulu, I wanna give us a chance! I wanna be with you! Not anyone else. I don't care about Kelsey the way I care about you."
But by the reaction she had shown, I already knew, she wouldn't give us a try.

It was useless to discuss it.

Lulu raised her voice. "But I care about Mikey, the way YOU SHOULD care about your GIRLFRIEND!" She in- and exhaled heavily for a few moments and then said calmer: "I... We should just... you know... not think about that anymore. Or talk. Let's go back to before you started talking crazy, okay? You should just... get over that little crush of yours and like Kelsey again, right?"
Without waiting for an answer, she went hastily out of the classroom.

Go back? Get over my 'little crush'?
I was aware of it, before I even tried: That was not going to happen.

Now, this was the most stupid idea, you ever had, Ryan Laserbeam.
Now you didn't just not have the girl you were crazy about, no...
Additional to that, you had lost her.

I'm Ryan.
Crushed. Bummed. Dumpish.

Ouch. Not very fluffy, right?
I'm sorry for letting it turn out like that. Especially sorry for Ryan.
But sometimes love/life is just not working out the way you wanted..
I hoped you still liked it!

Anyways, if you're also reading my Cat/Beck story: Of course I didn't stop writing it. I just need a little more time for the 'musical scene'. (;
Lots of love