*Welcome. These days I can't get enough of my favorite Saiyuki pair-I thought up the storyline while working on Missions and started writing both fics a the same time, and now, it's finally ready to be unveiled. TAH-DAH!
Unfortunately, you won't find any Sanzo or Goku here. *sob* I tried to find a way to incorporate them, but nothing ingenius came to mind, so I left them alone.
Also, I debated a long time about whether to call Hakkai by Gonou or Hakkai... Hakkai won.
This is my first AU fic, and I'm pretty pleased with it. It was a ton of fun to write, so I hope you all like it.
Enjoy

-Zaney

Don't cry
Don't close your eyes
It's only a

Teenage Wasteland

I

Like Sugar and Cyanide
Our worlds were meant to collide…

In Which there is a Misunderstanding and a Meeting

"C'mon, Hakkai," Quing hissed. "You know we're not supposed to be here—we'll get in trouble."

I hardly had time to take his sniveling seriously. She had come here, the one who looked like me. If I could only find her and ask her name…

"That's not necessarily true. I'm not allowed to be here, because I'm a minor. Seeing how you're nearly nineteen, I highly doubt you'll get in trouble."

"Yeah, but they still frown on us coming here, you know."

"Then go home." I suggested calmly.

Quing gave me a sheepish, frightened look. He was two years older than me, but his round, baby face often gave me the impression that he was barely past the age of fourteen.

"Yeah. Go home." Liling elbowed him. She was a year younger than Quing, and therefore also a minor, but I'd observed that she certainly had more grit. "Hakkai and me are gonna' have fun."

I could sense that she was waiting eagerly for a moment to be alone with me, and, undoubtedly, when that moment came, I would have to make up some excuse, or else give her the honest truth, which was that I hadn't the slightest bit of interest in Liling. She was a pretty girl, and very intelligent. Her mild enthusiasm for adventure was attractive enough, and I felt that, over all, we were compatible, but my eye was elsewhere.

On her…

I'd been attending the prestigious research school in Cheng for over a year now, and I was fitting in well enough. Better than I had at the orphanage, at any rate. I still had a bit of trouble making friends, and the few I had still complained that I never smiled, or that, at times, I could be scary, but my main focus was on my studies, so it hardly mattered. Besides, I was substantially younger than most of the other students, and I allowed myself to make the excuse that we just weren't on the same page. Albeit, it was a somewhat shabby justification, but it served its purpose.

These two were more study partners than anything, but I didn't need help studying, so, if I thought about it, I didn't really need them at all.

We walked a little further, and Liling started joking with Quing, but he didn't seem inclined to laugh, or join in. I could see from the way he glanced back and forth that he was nervous. "What if Dean Hyoka finds out? He'll kill us."

"Oh, nonsense. I'll receive few demerits, that's all. You'll get a firm lecture."

"Yeah, but what about- "

"No one asked you to come." I reminded him stiffly.

He was quiet again. Liling whined about missing lunch in the refectory.

I barely suppressed a sigh, wishing, once again, that they had both stayed at the university. We only had two hours before our next class would begin, and it seemed it would be all the more difficult to get back in time with them in tow, let alone be able to find and have a word with her.

Besides, An Jin was a dangerous place. It was a bit larger than our home town of Cheng, and it was full of gang violence, drug rings and prostitution. A breath of fresh air compared to our stuffy, strict school.

I glanced around with interest at the dilapidated architecture and grungy, desperate people. Finding the girl with green eyes was just one reason to come to An Jin. Frankly, I'd been curious about this place ever since orientation, in which they'd mentioned that it was frowned upon to visit, and for me, as a minor, and an orphan, the complete responsibility of the school, it was irrevocably off limits.

"Hakkai." Liling pulled at my shirt sleeve, utilizing a somewhat pleading, feminine tone. "Can we stop and get lunch somewhere? We have time, don't we?"

I certainly didn't have time. Not if I was going to find the green-eyed girl. I had only two hours to accomplish my goal, and every second of those hundred and twenty minutes had to be spent focusing on that. "No."

She frowned at me, "You're always so serious, Hakkai."

"And yet, you continue to put up with me. It's a wonder you can be so patient."

They were both quiet. I think they were puzzling over whether or not I was being serious. They often had to do that, and usually, their conclusions were incorrect.

"You're welcome to get lunch." I told them, "But I'm still looking."

"Looking for what?" Quing demanded.

"The red light district." Liling muttered.

I answered impatiently, "Looking around. I can eat any time I choose, but there's no telling when I'll be back in An Jin."

They mumbled amongst themselves a minute or two, no doubt complaining about how odd I was, and that was fine. The only thing that mattered to me was finding her.

Some shouting rang out, and I hesitated, looking ahead, curiously.

There was a man attacking a girl. He was large and dirty-looking, with ill-kempt facial hair and bloodshot eyes, and she was thin, somewhat tall for a woman, with long, scarlet-red hair. "Give it up, ya' fuckin' slut!" The man screamed, making a grab for the girl, who took a quick step back, just out of his reach. She was holding something in one hand, half turned away from the man so he couldn't grab it, and he was stumbling a bit, like he was drunk.

"Great." Quing said caustically. "We got here just in time to see somebody get raped."

I rather didn't appreciate his dark humor on the matter, and I couldn't help giving him a reproachful look.

Liling grabbed onto my arm, "Um, shouldn't we…tell someone?"

I watched, more inquisitive than afraid. The girl wasn't backing off or running. From her body language and her stance, I could see that she was ready to fight. An odd thing to see in a woman, I thought. Even Liling would have been running and screaming were she to find herself in a similar position.

The man made another grab, and this time managed to get the girl by the arm. He cocked his fist back, punching her across the face. The girl fell hard, immediately scrambled to get up again, and the man kicked her down. "I'm gonna' fuck you up, kid." He produced a knife, shimmering brightly in the dull sun.

Liling gasped, holding onto me even more tightly.

I shook loose of her easily, starting forward.

"What are you doing?" Quing demanded. "Hakkai!"

I was already running, not quite sure what possessed me to do so. I'd been in my share of fights, some at the orphanage, some at school, and I knew I was good. Good enough? That remained to be seen. The important thing was to stop the man from killing her.

I jumped over the girl, lithely, putting my knee right in the man's face, seconds before he could stab. I felt his nose break, and blood sprayed across my clean, white uniform. He tumbled backward, screaming and clutching at his bleeding face, landed in a cloud of dust, and I stood over him momentarily, watching as he writhed and moaned, and then I turned around to offer the girl my hand, "Are you all right, Miss?"

She slapped my hand away, rather rudely, sat up, raking long, red hair back from her face, and I saw twin scars along her left cheek. I also saw red eyes, bright with fury, a lean chest, broad shoulders, and a complete lack of cleavage. "Who the fuck're you callin' miss, asshole?" He snarled, baring his teeth at me.

I was so stunned to discover the damsel in distress was, in fact, a boy, approximately my age, I could only stammer, "I…well, I…that is…you look…"

He wiped the blood off his face with the back of his wrist, got to his feet, a bit unsteadily, and shouldered past me. There was blood on his tight, white shirt as well. He Went straight to the man I'd knocked down and started wailing on him. I watched in amazement as he grabbed the bigger man by the front of the shirt, lifting him off the ground a few feet, and punched him repeatedly in the head, "Don't fuck with me, you fuckin' sonnova bitch!" He kicked him as well, and went on punching and elbow-striking until his knuckles and his forearms were streaked with blood.

"Hakkai!" Quing grabbed me, looking pale. "Let's get outta' here before we're next!" And then, he and Liling were both running, shouting back to me, but I didn't move. I stayed where I was, watching in fascination as the skinny boy proceeded to beat the living hell out of a man more than twice his size.

When he'd thrashed the man good, and it seemed he would be unconscious for a while, the boy dropped him, spun on me, hair hanging in his bruised, bloody face. "What're you lookin' at, pretty boy? Don't got anything to do besides stare at my ass?"

"Um. No. I beg your pardon, I just…"

"'I beg your pardon'? What're you from the hill or somethin'? Scram, before I pulverize you too."

"Excuse me." I answered coldly, "But I believe I just saved your life."

"What? Who the fuck do you think you are?" He shouldered closer, getting in my face, and I noticed he was just an inch or so taller than I, "He wasn't gonna' kill me. And I coulda' kicked his ass without you butting in, so suck my dick."

His demeanor, particularly his language, was aversive, but still, I found myself strangely drawn to him. There was something about that fire in his eyes and the ferocity in his spirit.

"I'm sorry." I said immediately, although it was something that didn't come across my lips often. "I had no intention of interfering in a man-to-man fist fight. You see, from behind, I honestly mistook you for a girl…. You can't tell me that doesn't happen occasionally."

He was still scowling, but I don't think he expected me to apologize. I think he expected me to either scream back and make threats, or run away crying, so he just shrugged, gave a brief, almost hateful tug on his hair, and then dug into the pocket of his hooded sweatshirt, producing a cigarette and lighter. He lit the thing and took a deep, almost shaky breath, "'Sall right. Happens a lot."

"Hm. Perhaps you should get it cut."

He stared at me, like the idea was completely out of the question, and then rearranged his hair, jerking it loose from where it was tucked behind his ears, and it fell over the scars on his cheek. "Yeah. Right. Good idea…"

"Hakkai." I answered automatically, although, I didn't think he'd necessarily been looking for my name.

He blinked. "Um…sure. Hakkai. Anyway, you better beat it before you get mugged or something. People wearing nice clothes don't last too long over here." With that, he turned away, gave the man on the ground one final, defiant kick to the side, and walked away, spewing smoke.

For a second, I watched him go, still feeling that curiosity and attraction burning inside my chest, and then, hardly aware of why, I followed him. "Wait, just a moment…oni-chan…"

"Oni-chan?" He gave me another stony look over his shoulder, "Damn, kid. You got any idea who you're talking to?"

"No. Perhaps if you'd given me your name in return for mine, as etiquette usually mandates, I would."

"You gotta' be shittin' me. What, you lose your mommy or something?"

"I'm only asking for your name."

"What's it to you?"

"Not a thing. I would just be…obliged if you'd tell me your name."

For a long, long time, he stood and gave me the strangest look, an expression I couldn't quite make sense of, and I watched him go through a phase of different emotions. He started out by looking invariably annoyed, and then slightly curious himself, and by the time we'd been staring at each other for a few minutes, he seemed somewhat more relaxed, "Gojyo."

"Gojyo?"

"Yep. Sha Gojyo. Can I do something for you, or what?"

"Oh, no…I…I do feel bad, mistaking you for a girl, you know."

"Still? That was like five minutes ago. I'm over it, you should be too."

"Just the same, I'd like to make it up to you."

Something cautious entered his eyes, and he glanced around, as if someone were going to sneak up on him. "How?"

He certainly was a suspicious, paranoid person. "Lunch?" I suggested.

Gojyo's eyes flicked up and down, sizing me up, "You…wanna' to buy me lunch?"

"I suppose so."

"What?" He snapped, "Think I can't get food by myself? What makes you think I'm not loaded? It so happens, my dad's the richest fuck in town, so take your free, fucking pity lunch and cram it up your ass."

That got me a bit ruffled, and I started to lose my composure, "I don't believe you. And even if it is true, I wasn't offering you a so-called 'pity lunch'."

"Yeah, then what're you tryin' to do?"

"Well, I don't know. I'm hungry, and I thought you might like to join me."

"What is wrong with you? Your dick screwed on backwards or something? Do you even know where you are? Nobody comes to this side of the tracks and tries to buy people lunch! You'll get yourself mugged."

"Mugged? Over lunch?" I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Damn straight, over lunch. If people think you've got money, they're gonna' take it from you. Like that ass back there."

"I couldn't help but notice you haven't tried to mug me."

That seemed to stump him, and he actually shut up for a moment or two. "Yeah, well I ain't a mugger, that's all."

"Then I don't see what harm there could possibly be in my buying you lunch."

"Dammit, you're persistent. Seriously. What's your angle? Does it look like I got anything a rich prick like you needs?"

That was the last straw for me, and I snapped, "Oh, enough. I've never met anyone so unbelievably ungrateful in all my life—here I offer to buy you food, as a gesture of apology, and you have the nerve to call me names and act as if I'm doing you some great insult. It's a free lunch, for goodness sake."

Gojyo started to say something else, and then…slowly, he seemed to think it over again, ran his hand back through his hair, and in another second, he looked considerably sheepish. "Look, I'm sorry. Forget it, man. I just…this's weird, you know?"

"I have no doubt that it is, Gojyo-san. Now do you want lunch or not?"

He pulled his sweatshirt tighter over his shoulders, took one long, hard look behind him, and then, suddenly, he was grinning at me. It was…bizarre. Seeing someone go from being unshakably hostile to friendly in the blink of an eye like that was one of the strangest things I'd ever seen, and it was infectious somehow.

I felt the corners of my mouth threatening to tug upward as well.

"Alright then, let's go."

"Very well then. Do you know a good place?"

"Ha. Not somewhere a well-bred dude like you's gonna' wanna' go to. You better pick."

Almost half an hour later, I found myself uptown, where the buildings were nicer, and there were fewer youkai, and everyone was well-dressed and pleasant, sitting in a café called the Ching-Lan. I watched the people on the street go calmly about their lives, and Gojyo slouched in the chair across from me, smoking and staring at the menu with a decidedly perplexed gaze. When the waiter finally came, I ordered a bowl of lo mein with a side of chicken, and Gojyo asked for more time. Twice.

"Hey, dude. What's good?"

"Oh, I don't know. I usually pick the first thing I see on a menu like this."

He glanced at me over the top of his menu, testing to see if I was serious, "What are you getting?"

"Lo mein."

"That sounds good." He kept staring at the menu, and then he finally ordered a bowl of wok tossed noodles with beef tips, a side of steamed sea bass rolls, some egg drop soup and a beer. It was all rather expensive, but I decided it would be rude to complain after I'd been so insistent that he come to lunch with me, so I accepted it without a word.

The waiter looked at him rather disdainfully, "ID?"

Gojyo flashed a card at him, and the waiter went on his way.

"How odd. You don't look old enough to drink." He didn't look a day over fifteen.

"Pft. Yeah, well, I ain't gonna' let that stop me."

I nodded, taking a sip of water and watching the people a while longer.

Gojyo smoked in silence a while, and then suddenly leaned forward, "Hey, where're you from?"

"I'm Hakkai, remember? Not 'dude', and not 'hey'. Hakkai."

"Hey, frowny-face."

I turned to him, saw the mischievous grin was back, cocked to one side, cigarette barely hanging out the other. His eyes were sparkling.

"Where're you from?"

"Do you mean to ask me where I was born?"

"Nah, I mean where'd you come from today? You ain't from Jin, right?"

"No. I came down from Cheng."

"Cheng?"

"I see you've heard of it."

"Shit, what in the hell are you doing here? Who in their right mind comes down from Cheng to visit a shitty place like An Jin?"

"People with nothing more exciting to do, I suppose."

"Damn. Wish my life was that boring."

"Where are you from?"

"Here."

"I meant originally."

"Oh. Just a shitty little place up north. It was worse than here…that's why I came down. See, maybe you don't know this, but people tend to try to work their way up, not down."

"Ah. Is that how it is? Hm. In that case, I believe I've been doing it wrong."

"Easy fix though, man." He ground the cigarette out and immediately began another, "Get your posh ass back to Cheng and don't ever think about An Jin again."

"That sounds like good advice, but I'm afraid I can't."

"Don't tell me you got business in this dump."

"No, not exactly business. See…there's…a girl."

Gojyo leaned forward again, eyes fixed on me with extreme interest, "A chick huh? She hot?"

For the first time, I felt a little odd, being so open with this complete stranger. I couldn't exactly put my finger on why I'd invited him to lunch, and I could hardly believe I was on the verge of telling him about the girl with the green eyes. I hadn't told anyone at Cheng about her.

"Who could say?" I murmured.

He waited a while, expecting me to continue, and then he snorted, "Hell, I could. Let me get a look at this tart and I'll tell ya' if she's hot or not."

"Is that so?" I strained not to show any annoyance with him, but I didn't like the way he was talking about my green-eyed girl.

"I'm an expert on chicks." He flashed me another grin.

"That's odd, seeing how you're barely a man."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean, 'barely a man'? Hey, I didn't come here to be insulted, asshole!"

"Feel free to leave."

"What? You crazy? First you practically force me to have lunch with you, and then you say you don't care if I leave. Make up your mind."

The waiter returned at that precise moment, setting our respective dishes in front of us, bowing humbly, and backing away.

Gojyo stared down at his food, mouth hanging open. "Shit."

I picked up my chop sticks and began quietly eating my noodles.

He didn't wait a second longer before diving in. I'd never in my life seen anyone eat with such desperation, sometimes using the chopsticks, sometimes not, stuffing his face as quickly as he could, hunched over the plate, as if someone was going to take it from him, pausing only occasionally to quaff from his glass of beer. It was such a manic approach to dining, I found myself wholly distracted, holding a scoop of lo mein halfway to my mouth for a full two minutes as I watched him scarf down the noodles, the soup, cram a roll in his mouth whole, and drink most of his beer.

"You…I mean, don't you ever eat?"

He swallowed before answering, which I was unbelievably grateful for, "'Course I eat. What kinda' dumb question is that?"

I took a moment to take notice of how skinny he was, and doubted severely what he was telling me. "It was stupid, I suppose."

Gojyo started to say something else, when a woman in her mid thirties suddenly came up behind him, setting a hand on his shoulder. She had short, dark hair and dark eyes, was dressed in a flattering dress, and had a very…particular kind of smile, "Well, hello, Honey. Didn't think I'd ever see you up on this side of town."

Gojyo froze for a split second, looking like he'd been caught in some obscene act, eyes tilted up to look at the woman, but the rest of his face stayed perfectly still. And then he smiled, quite charmingly. "Well, look who it is. What's up, babe?"

"I didn't mean to interrupt, I just wanted to say hello. If you're busy, I can come around later."

At first, the exchange was little more than odd to me, and then, I noticed the way she slid her hand down Gojyo's back and leaned over to speak close to his face, and I realized the truth, abruptly.

"Naw, it's cool. I'll see you later, huh?"

She went right on smiling, lasciviously, and it was a bit disquieting, seeing how she was probably almost old enough to be his mother, "God, you've got gorgeous eyes, kiddo. Yeah, I think I'm hooked. I'll be seeing you later." Threading his fingers briefly through Gojyo's hair, she winked at me, "Don't rough him up too much, pretty boy. Alright?" Then she was off, and out the door.

As soon as she was gone, Gojyo blinked, like he was waking up from a long, strange sleep, and then he lowered his eyes, tilting his head forward so the hair formed a curtain around his face, smiling crookedly, "Uh. Sorry. About that."

I had no idea what to say. Part of me honestly wanted to be disgusted. I thought it might even make the most sense to get up and walk away as well. But a larger part of me wished I could simply forget it had happened, and the biggest part of me, really wanted to say that I was the one who was sorry, though I wasn't sure what for.

Gojyo was obviously waiting for my reaction, so I opted to pretend I hadn't understood, "Oh, not at all. A friend of yours?"

"Somethin' like that."

I went back to eating, but he kept sitting there like if he moved, someone else would jump up and grab him.

I considered the exchange while I waited for him to come back to life. It was impossible to deny that the encounter had been mildly sexual, and I wondered just what sort of life he was living that had driven him to be…

I didn't want to consider anymore.

"Eat." I suggested. "From the look of you, not even God knows where your next meal is coming from."

Gojyo slanted an uncertain look at me, before slowly returning to his meal. "Tell me about your girl."

"There's not much to tell. We've never met."

He nodded like that was perfectly normal. "So you stalk her on weekends or something?"

"Between classes, actually."

"Sounds fun."

I suppose he was taking it as a given that I attended Cheng University, and if he wasn't, I had no desire to tell him.

"What about you, Gojyo-san? Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Nah, I don't really 'date' people."

I didn't dare comment there, so I sat and tried to think of something else to say.

While I was thinking, yet another person came along, and this time, seeing how it was a man, I had to suppress an uncomfortable sigh. I'd rather not listen to another awkward exchange.

The man was a bit younger, though he was a good four or five years older than either of us, and he had short, bleached blonde hair, and long, youkai ears, a mark over his left eye, and, oddly enough, not so much as a trace of eyebrows, "Goo-jyoo-chaa-an. Hey, what in the hell are you doing all the way up here?"

Gojyo gave him a dirty look, "Geez, I dunno', Banri, I can't see that far either."

"Hey, turd, don't gime' that cute shit. I been lookin' all over for you. And where in the fuck did you get the money to eat here?"

I saw Gojyo glance at me, and then he shrugged, "Made a lotta' money today. What about you, asswipe? You make anything?"

"What's that supposed to mean? I always make good money. Anyway." Banri leaned on Gojyo's chair, "You coulda' dug through the dumpster out back. It's cheaper."

"Well, shit. Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you're a dumb ass."

"Watch who you're callin' dumb ass, dumb ass. I bailed your fuckin' ass out yesterday morning."

"And believe me, buddy, I appreciate that, but now it's time to go, so grab a doggy bag, or whatever they have in this upscale fish-shack, and let's scram. Dasha's askin' for you."

Gojyo finally stopped eating, and his tone turned flat, "What's he want?"

"I don't fuckin' know, but if I don't get you over there soon, it's my head, so finish your beer and let's beat it." For the first time, Banri seemed to notice me. "Who's the prep?"

"Some kid. I don't know. This was the only place to sit."

Banri glanced around, and I doubted he'd be stupid enough to not notice the empty tables, but he didn't say anything aside from, "Nica' him to tolerate you, huh?" He smiled on me, eyes narrowing, and there was something I didn't like about him right away. "Hey. Thanks for lettin' my mutt sit with you, Money."

Mutt?

Gojyo ground his teeth, his eyes turned hard as rubies, and I thought he'd launch into another fit of anger, but he kept his mouth shut.

"It's nothing." I said coolly, but I didn't look at Banri. "Honestly, Gojyo-san. Nothing."

"Ooo, Gojyo-san. I kinda' like that." Banri laughed and dug his knuckles into Gojyo's scalp, "Anyway, we better beat it, Gojyo-san. Dasha's in a bad mood today."

After that, everything happened very quickly. Banri grabbed Gojyo's arm and pulled him to his feet. Gojyo put out his cigarette, swallowed the last of his beer. He met my gaze, but just for a second; I thought he'd say something, anything really, but he just gave me another smile, only this one was sad somehow, and I knew it was the only sort of thanks I was going to get. Then, he turned and followed Banri out the door.

I sat a while longer, thinking. I thought a long, long time actually, well past the time I should have been back in class, but I never felt that I'd drawn an honest conclusion. Everything I'd seen and heard today was…bizarre. There were elements outside the strangeness—sinister moments, moments that felt almost dangerous, shadows passed over the event one by one, there was a pallor of despair and chaos, but always Gojyo's spirit was at the center of it, brave and relentless and somehow very… tender, even when his mouth was shouting obscenities and threats.

By the time I paid for the meal and walked back to Cheng, the only thing I knew for sure was that I would like to see him again.

Gojyo

Why did he do that?

No matter how I thought about it, or which way I tried to look at it, I just couldn't get it to make sense. At first, when he'd approached me, I'd believed him about being a good citizen who wanted to help out the damsel in distress—even if it did turn out that the damsel was me instead—but when he'd followed me and offered to buy me lunch, I'd been sure that he was after something. But hey, free food was free food, and for all I knew, I could cheat him or scam him or something.

I'd had my chances, I guess, and I hadn't taken them. I don't know if it's because he had stepped in when dozens of other people would have just walked away, or because he bought me lunch and seemed genuinely nice, or if I was just going soft, but the longer I'd sat there with him, the less I'd wanted to take advantage of him—I was even a little sorry for ordering such expensive food-the more certain I'd been that he didn't want to take anything from me. By the time Banri came along, I was pretty sure he was the only person I'd seen all day who didn't want something from me.

Why though? That was the part I couldn't figure out. Who in their right mind went around feeding worthless gutter punks like me and then didn't ask for some kind of favor in return?

Hakkai looked like a rich boy, so maybe he didn't need anything from me. I had heard that there were some rich people who actually gave their money away to help those less fortunate than they were, but I could hardly believe I had met one.

I walked shoulder to shoulder with Banri, neither of us saying anything, and now we were back on our dingy, dirty, rotten side of town, where there was a crack whore on every corner, and a thief hiding in every alley. Home sweet home. I thought bitterly, and then I pictured Hakkai going back to Cheng, where he belonged, probably to some big, fancy house with a dog and a maid and a father who wore and suit and was never around, and a mom who sat and ate chocolates and got fat. It made me feel sort of jealous.

"Dasha didn't tell you what he wants?" I asked Banri.

"Nope. He said 'bring Gojyo to me', and that was it."

That was upsetting. I hadn't seen Dasha in weeks, but I knew as well as everyone else in this business did that when he called for you, it was very rarely good news. Usually, he figured out what he wanted to do next, and then he told his right-hand man, and then he told somebody, like Banri, and Banri told me. I was the last to know, always.

"Did I do somethin' wrong?" I tried to sound flippant and unconcerned, but my heart was starting to beat a little faster.

Banri laughed, "I dunno', buddy. Did'ja?"

"Who knows. Dasha probably just wants my advice on somethin', as usual."

"Oo, maybe he wants to know how you get rich kids to buy you lunch. I wanna' know that."

"He didn't buy my lunch."

"I didn't see you pay a bill."

"Ever heard of dine and dash?"

Banri gave me a long, curious look, but I ignored him. I don't know why I didn't want him to know about Hakkai buying lunch for me. For whatever reason, I knew that would be really bad.

We rounded the corner, and Dasha's place was in view. The old theater building had been condemned a long time ago when they decided to build a new one, over in a nicer district, but for some reason, they'd never torn this one down. Probably because Dasha was paying off the demo committee to leave it alone. Or intimidating them. It made a good enough hideout.

I hesitated, blowing some smoke out my nose. "How long ago did you say he asked for me?"

"Heh. You ain't nervous, are ya'?"

"Eat me, Banri—you wouldn't wanna' see Dasha either."

"Nobody ever wants to see Dasha. Don't worry about it though—we just a coupla' contractors, remember? He can't do anything to us."

I doubted Banri believed that anymore than I did. Dasha ran this whole town, so he could do whatever he wanted to anybody who pissed him off. "How long, Banri?"

"Just a couple hours."

A couple hours could mean getting my head smashed rather than my knees. I threw my cigarette down. "Shit fuck."

"Hey, if you hadn't been jerkin' off uptown, it wouldn't have taken so long, so there's nobody to blame but yourself."

That was true. And the longer I stood out here, chewing my cigarette and worrying and stalling, the pissier Dasha was going to be when I finally went inside, so I stepped past Banri, taking the lead as we went around to the side door.

Inside, the place was even colder than outside: it was big and empty and drafty, with rotting rafters, torn curtains, and creaky, wooden floors. A group of guys were sitting around on overturned boxes and crates, playing cards, smoking and cursing.

Bang saw me right away and got up, throwing his cigarette down disdainfully, "Well, well, well, if it ain't everybody's favorite, half-blood bitch. Where you been all morning, sweetie? Nobody could find ya' anywhere."

"Get the fuck outta' my face, Bang." I growled. "Your breath smells like a dirty vagina."

"Now you would know, wouldn't ya'?"

"At least I see a vagina every now and then." I grinned at him, harshly. Really, I'd rather beat his fucking face black and blue, but I knew better. Dasha tended to favor Bang, and I didn't think he'd like it if I kicked the crap out of him.

Bang shoved me hard, slamming me back into Banri, "Yeah, you suck cock more often than I do too."

I pushed Banri away, "You lookin' to get knifed today, Bang?"

"I think the only one who's gonna' get shived is you, punk. Dasha's pretty pissed with you."

"Gime' a break. That's supposed to scare me? Listen up, dickhead—I don't work for Dasha, I do him a favor. And I ain't scared of him."

"Oh, is that so?" Dasha's voice said, right behind me.

I turned to see him crawling out of the shadows, just like the creepy asshole he was. His long, dark hair was pulled back today, his violet eyes seemed to glow, and every inch of his bare chest and arms was covered in intricate tattoos. He was carrying a long, wicked-looking knife with him. Right away, the other guys were standing up, looking attentive and nervous.

Banri and I glanced at each other, and then I smiled, "'Sup, Dasha? Man, you walked in on the wrong part of the conversation."

Dasha smiled back. There was something indescribably creepy about his smile—it was almost gentle, like he was looking at a long-time friend, but his eyes were full of poison and hatred. "Don't mock me, boy. I heard the whole thing."

"Good. We know those long-ass ears of yours are workin' right. Want me to do an eye exam next?"

The creepy smile was gone as fast as it had come, his mouth twisted into a vicious snarl, and he took a single swipe at me. I felt the tip of the knife whip past the bridge of my nose.

"Guess that's a no." Banri mumbled.

"I suggest you watch your steps. You smart asses are on thin ice already, you know." Dasha seemed to purr, and that only added to his creepiness.

"Me?" Banri whined. "What'd I do? I been in jail all week, boss."

"I sent you to go get him almost three hours ago, Banri. What, may I ask, took so long?"

"It wasn't my fault, Dasha—the kid was-"

"Busy." I interrupted. "My bad. Anyway, I'm here now, so what'dya' need?"

"The money from the Ginju job." He answered, cool and composed again, voice deathly quiet, "Where is it?"

I paused, looked up at Banri, but he was being super careful not to meet my gaze. I tried to think of a way to stall, but everybody was staring at me—except for asshole Banri, of course. "Um. I'm sorry, what? I think my ears must not work as well as yours do."

Dasha's face stayed perfectly emotionless as he hauled off and backhanded me across the cheek, with what seemed to be all his might. I stumbled and flipped back over the overturned crate the guys had been playing cards on. Dasha dragged me to my feet by my hair and boxed my ears a couple of times. He raised his voice, practically shouting in my face, "The Ginju job, hanyou. You'd better hurry and tell me where it is."

"Oh." I sucked in a deep breath. He hit harder than Mom used to, but I could handle it. "The Ginju job. I don't got it."

A look of murder crossed his face, and I thought he'd knife me there. "Why not?"

"Because." I looked at Banri again, but he wasn't saying anything, "Because I-"

Dasha smacked me again. My lip started gushing blood. "Don't look at him, I'm talking to you."

"Right. Sorry. How could I forget?"

This time he punched me so hard in the stomach, it knocked the wind out of me, and I would have fallen to my knees if he weren't still holding me up by the hair. "Where's the money, Gojyo?"

Everyone was just staring as I got my ass handed to me. That really pissed me off, and I couldn't believe Banri wasn't going to say anything. He was just going to wait to see what I did.

Dasha was hitting me again, but I was numbing to it, letting the blows fall, trying not to think too much about it. "You had three days to do that job, hanyou. I should have had my money yesterday. Now don't tell me you wasted my money on cards and women."

"No, no, of course not. I mean, I lost it, but-"

The fury in his eyes was so terrifying, I wasn't sure I could stand up to it, and then he slammed my head hard, into his knee, let me slump to the ground like a sack of meat. For what felt like forever, I laid there on the freezing, cold floor, trying to catch my breath, feeling the mind-numbing pain throb through my skull, and cursing the shit out of Banri in my head.

Dasha stood over me, his bleak voice calling to me through the darkness, "What do you mean, you lost it?"

"Got mugged today." I choked, just so he'd stop hitting me. "I swear to God, I was bringin' you the money, Dasha. This guy jumped me from behind, took the money. He almost fuckin' stabbed me."

Dasha was silent a second, but he must have believed me, because he just scoffed and gave me a light kick in the ribs. Almost like he was rewarding me for telling him the truth by not kicking the shit out of me. "Well, I wish he'd just killed you."

Yeah. I thought, I kinda' do too.

"And how, may I ask, do you intend to get back the money you lost?"

He seemed to be done beating on me, so I sat up on my hands and knees, face hidden behind my hair. "I…can get it back. It was only a few million yen."

Bang laughed suddenly, "Only a few million. How're you gonna' win that back, punky? By cheatin' at cards and jerking off in front of people?"
The others all laughed, but I didn't have time to worry about Bang. I was just hoping against hope that Dasha wouldn't decapitate me right here, right now. "I can get it back, Dasha. I just need a little bit of time."

"Bang is right; you can't get this kind of money by playing cards."

"All right, so I'll find another way. It doesn't matter—I'll get the money back."

"Wu."

I was quiet a second, wondering if I'd heard wrong. "Wu?"

"Go to Wu. Sneak inside—there's a medallion there, gold, encrusted with an amethyst the size of your eyeball. Bring that back to me, and I'll overlook your blunder."

"But Wu's a fortress—there's no way I can sneak in all by myself and-"

He reached down and grabbed me by the chin, suddenly, tilting my head up and looking me in the eyes. His long, youkai claws scraped along the edge of my jaw, "You will go to Wu, Gojyo, and you will bring the medallion to me in two days, or else you had better run to the farthest corner of the world, because if you fail me again, I'll make your life so terrible, you will beg to die." With that, he released my face, pushed me back down with his heavy, leather boot, and walked away, as silently as he'd come.

Slowly, the others backed away too, snickering and jeering at me. "Good luck, hanyou." Wang called.

Bang laughed loudly, "Yeah, if we're lucky, your cursed ass won't come back."

I pulled myself to my feet, stood there wiping blood off my face and testing to see if anything was broken, and then, when I was sure they were all gone, I turned on Banri, who was leaning back, casually smoking, "What the fuck's your problem, partner? Couldn't throw in a good word for your pal?"

"What would I have told him?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe 'Gojyo doesn't have the money because I talked him into using most of it to pay my bail yesterday, then stole the rest while he was asleep so I could have a good time.'?"

"Don't take it like that; I knew he wasn't really gonna' hurt'cha'. He likes you, and he hates me—if I'd told him that, he probably woulda' killed me."

"You're a sick, sorry excuse for a partner." I snapped.

"Yeah, well you didn't tell him either. I wonder why that is?"

"Because I'm a good partner, asswipe. You better help me get that fucking medallion out of Wu."

"Don't even joke. I ain't goin' near Wu again. Last time I tried ta' bust into that place, they had a wanted poster of my face up for two years. I had to leave town and everything."

"You've been in there before—I need your help."

"Nothin' doin', baby boy. You're on your own for the Wu job."

"Goddamn, you're a fucking waste of life, Banri. The only reason I have to go to Wu in the first place is because I bailed your ass out! Shit!" I scraped the hair away from my face, "Why do I listen to you?"

"Excuse the shit out of me for not wanting to wait around for you to come up with the money to post my bail. Anyway, I thought you said you could make it back."

"Well, I could have. I got some of it last night, and then today—"

"You went and jerked around up on the hill. See? It's your own fault."

"It's your fault, Banri, and you know it."

"Fine. Be that way. I got better things to do than hang around here and argue with you about something stupid like this, so have fun at Wu." He turned away from me without even thinking about it, and started to follow the others.

My heart sank a little, and I tried calling after him, "C'mon, wait a minute, Banri."

He didn't even act like he heard me.

"Banri!"

Still nothing. I hung around a few seconds, thinking he might change his mind and come back, but I already knew how stupid that was, so I kicked once at the ground, lit another cigarette, and left.

I guess I knew I should get started on the Wu job right away, go over there and scout around, or something. It was going to be a hard job to pull by myself. The Wu estate was the most heavily guarded piece of property in An Jin, complete with a personal army to keep an eye on the valuables inside, comprised of three different buildings: the gallery, the guest house, and the mansion itself, and there was no telling which one the medallion Dasha wanted was in. To make matters worse, half the estate was covered by a complicated maze, where it would be easy to get lost if you didn't know where you were going. Chances were, I'd just get electrocuted at the fence and not even have to worry about the maze, or the armed forces, or the attack dogs.

I couldn't believe that dickhead Banri had been in there before and wasn't going to help me.

Maybe if I did a little research, I could at least figure out where the medallion was stashed. Having an informant would be helpful, but that would take a little money, and I only had two days to get back to Dasha.

"What a nightmare." I muttered.

Anyway, I couldn't make a move until I had some cash, so that meant a quick trip to the local bar, where I could get a much-needed drink, and maybe some pussy. If I found a girl who didn't mind the way Dasha had fucked up my face.

I guess with me, it's always gotta' be some girl who doesn't mind a little cosmetic damage. I fingered my scars absently.

The bar was full of people I knew, as usual—mostly guys I knew off a strictly poker-level basis, a couple low-end dudes from Dasha's gang, a handful of chicks who'd all fucked me, and my favorite bartender, Tai.

Tai was this tall, muscular chick with a slender waist, big boobs, and manly arms and shoulders. She had long, wavy hair she kept dyed dark purple, ruby-painted lips, a couple facial piercings, and she always kept a gun hidden in a strap on her thigh. For all her warrior-like looks though, Tai was really just a big softy, with a face carved by angels.

"Hey there, Mama." I greeted, leaning off the bar. "How about the usual?"

"Gojyo." She gave me a wide-eyed look with her doe eyes, her normally soft voice pitched a little higher than usual, "What happened to you?"

"Martial arts club, you know. Damn, my sensei is one strict sonnova bitch."

Tai didn't believe me, and I didn't care. The more concerned she was about me, the closer I was to scoring with her. For some reason, I'd never been able to get her to go all the way with me—I was lucky if I got a quick kiss on the cheek at the end of the night—but I didn't know if it was because she was eleven years older than me, or if there was something else getting in the way.

She kept her eyes on my face as she served up my drink; a long time ago, she'd quit checking my ID. She knew I wasn't old enough, she knew my ID was fake, but she still served me whenever I flashed it. I didn't get that either.

"You look terrible." She commented quietly.

"And you look sexy as shit."

Tai touched my hand, "You're not in trouble, are you? Do you need a place to crash?"

"Hey, if you finally wanna' take me home, I can be in all the trouble you want."

"Gojyo." She scolded, "Stop it. Who did this to you?"

I shrugged, took a slug off my drink, turned my back to her, "Nobody important. Just Dasha."

"Why?"

"Hell if I know. PMS or something."

"Are you sure you don't need a place to crash—I've got a nice couch."

"I'm all right." I watched as a few of my regular drinking buddies sat down to start a round of five card, picked up my drink to go join them.

"If you need anything, don't be afraid to ask."

"There is just one thing. You wouldn't happen to know anybody who works on the Wu estate, would you?"

"Wu?" I could practically hear her thick, red lips frowning, "Boy, what in the world do you want with the Wu mansion?"

"I'm just tryin' to keep my dick from being turned into hamburger. You know somebody?"

"What in the world does he want you going in there for?"

"It's none of your business, Tai." I slammed down a little more alcohol, "Now do you know someone or not?"

She was quiet a while. "The head maid and me went to school together. I could arrange a meeting."

"Could you arrange it for, say…tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?"
"Tonight would be better. No later than tomorrow."

"I could try."

"Thanks, babe. That'd be a big help." I flashed a smile at her—the best damn smile I had—and then headed for the five card game.

Tai grabbed my arm, "Gojyo. Please do yourself a favor and stay away from the Wu estate. Those people are so rich…they can do anything they want to you and probably get away with it."

I didn't answer. My whole life it had seemed like anyone could do whatever they wanted to me and get away with it. So what was new about that?

"I'm sure it doesn't feel like you have a choice, but there's always a choice."

"Not this time. Not for me. If I don't do this, Dasha'll kill me. No, even that would be merciful."

"Then get away from him. If you run now, maybe he won't chase you. You don't owe him that much money."

"Only a couple thousand."

"Then you should leave tonight."

I sighed, "It's just not that simple, Tai. I've seen that guy kill over a steak cooked the wrong way."

"I still think you should try."

Gently, I shook her off, "Don't worry about it, okay? Just set up the meeting."

I knew Tai didn't like that, but what could I do? I didn't work a business you just ran out on one day, not if you valued your life.

Except…I don't really. I thought as I went to join the guys at poker.

They were all "happy" to see me, and "concerned" about my injuries. The girls wanted to hang off me and baby me and pet my hair. To any outsider, I figured I looked cool, serene, and in control. I probably seemed popular, and social and funny, but inside, for a long time now, I had felt my heart slowly starting to whither away, and when I looked around at the people I was with, I saw the scorn in their eyes, the disgust on their lips. Even now, I was sickening to them, so imagine how they'd look at me if they found out what I was. Even the kid who bought me lunch today would wrinkle his nose in aversion and run the other way if he discovered the truth.

I didn't think I could keep wearing this mask forever.