WARNINGS!: This is an extremely silly, frivolously-written fic done as a means of procrastination and is not meant to be taken seriously. If you are sensitive to gender issues, this fic is not for you. OOC. No beta. No plot. No class. No common sense.
[T] rating: Language and perversion.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Chapter 1: 404 - Balls Not Found Part 1
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 01/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Ughhh" Aomine Daiki groaned, eyes squinting in the brightness of the sunrise.
He was hung-over.
Last night had been his childhood friend and flatmate's 21st birthday celebration, and the two pals had drunk to their hearts content. Well, he had drunk enough for two, seeing as Kuroko Tetsuya had passed out after his third beer.
With his eyes still firmly shut, Aomine felt around for his cellphone. In his blind search, he bumped into Kuroko a few times.
'Still out?'
"Huh?" Suddenly, Aomine's hand grasped something big, round, and incredibly soft. He gave it a few good squeezes. The squishy object filled his large hands perfectly.
"Ahh…"
'Fuck? Did something just moan?'
Aomine sobered up immediately, cracking open his eyes to find his hand on the right breast of a beautiful blue-haired girl.
"Dafuq?! Who the hell are you?"
Now don't misunderstand, no man loved boobies like how Aomine Daiki loved boobies. On any other occasion, he would've been all over that shit. But, a stalker girl unceremoniously sleeping on their living room floor?
No, thank you.
'Where the hell's Tetsu?'
"Mmm… Aomine-kun, please don't curse so early in the morning." The unidentified girl said as she stirred. Her messy long hair sprawled all over.
'Aomine-kun? Who the hell does this bitch think she is?' Aomine took a second look at her.
The shirt she had on was too large on her petite body, exposing a creamy set of shoulders and an impossibly sexy collarbone.
'That's my shirt!' The very same one Aomine had lent to Kuroko the night before. 'Wait, the voice is slightly higher, but that hair, those eyes, that inflection!'
"Te... Tet… Tetsu?!" Aomine gaped. Was such a thing even possible?
"Good morning, Aomine-kun." She greeted.
"To hell with the morning, take off your shorts now!" Aomine got off of his stunned ass and proceeded to pull down the girl's shorts.
"Aomine-kun, please stop," she pushed his hands away. "My back is sore. I'm not in the mood for such stupidity."
'Ughh… I'm never drinking again. I feel so weak, has Aomine-kun always been so strong?'
Aomine grasped both her wrists in one hand, held her down, and pulled down her boxer shorts in one go.
"Gone… It's not there!" Aomine stuttered. "Tetsu! Everything's gone!"
"What are you on about?" Kuroko wondered if his childhood friend was still drunk.
Then, Kuroko looked down.
"Crap."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 20 minutes later XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Aomine and Kuroko were currently skyping the latter's parents.
"Wait, okaa-san, you mean to tell me that everyone in the Kuroko bloodline goes through a phase of sex swapping when they hit 21?" Aomine asked. The two childhood friends and lifelong neighbors were casual with each other's parents, almost always referring to them as okaa-san and otou-san.
"That's right honey," Mrs Kuroko smiled sweetly. "Tetsuya's dad and uncle went through the same exact thing, as did their mother and the generations of Kurokos before her."
"You were a woman otou-san?" Kuroko asked.
"Yes, for a while at least. Lucky for me, I met your mother," Mr Kuroko said. "Listen carefully Tetsuya, you'll swap sexes every 24 hours. However, if you don't fall in love before your 22nd birthday, you'll forever remain a woman."
"That only gives me a year." Kuroko said.
"Tetsu, can you sound at least a little bit surprised?" Aomine tiredly pleaded. "I'm freaked out of my mind here."
"I'm panicking. Can you not tell?" Kuroko said with the calmest of faces.
"Sigh… I give up," Aomine dragged his hand down his face in exasperation. "You've always been an oddball anyway." He turned towards the computer screen, "So, all we need to do is make sure Tetsu falls in love right? Then he'll… she'll? Then Tetsu'll return to normal?"
"Well, yes." Kuroko's parents were completely unfazed.
"Otou-san, okaa-san, why didn't you inform me before?" Kuroko asked.
"Ohh, you know… Think of it as a surprise birthday gift. Ah look at the time, better head off to work now. Goodbye, son… I mean daughter." Kuroko's parents chuckled nervously as they logged off. It was obvious that the married couple had forgotten to disclose that major minor-detail to their son.
A few moments passed as silence enveloped their tiny 2 bedroom flat.
'Love…' Kuroko began to ponder.
"Aomine-kun, may I fall in love with you?" Kuroko asked nonchalantly.
"Like hell you can idiot!" Aomine got up and threw the gravure magazine he had in his hand to the tatami. "Fuck my life. I have to spend the next year living with a sex-swapping idiot."
"I could move in with Kise-kun if it is too much of an inconvenience." Kuroko stood up too.
"Seriously, are you that clueless?" Aomine raised an eyebrow at the girl's naiveté. "He can barely keep his hands off you as it is. Do you have any idea what he'll do if he finds out about… your special circumstances?" Aomine blushed, finding it difficult to remain calm with her blank stare looking up innocently at him.
"It's just Kise-kun."
"It's fucking Kise!," Aomine emphasized. "He'll eat you up."
"Kise-kun?"
"Yes," Aomine gripped his best friend's shoulders, bent down, and stared directly into her eyes in all seriousness.
"'Kise-kun' will lick you all over, nibble, bite, and then eat you up like a big feast."
"Are you sure you're not projecting? And, Aomine-kun, would you please calm down? It's weird seeing you this distressed," Kuroko asked, but Aomine paid her no mind.
"Tetsu. Do not let anyone else, especially Kise, ESPECIALLY KISE, know about this. Understand?" Aomine asked.
'It's not that big of a deal though,' thought Kuroko. Although they had only known Kise since entering high school, the blonde model was still a good friend of theirs, even if he was a bit too liberal with his hands.
"I understand, but Aomine-kun, can you handle living with me until I fall in love?" Kuroko asked.
'Was Aomine-kun always this big? Or have I actually shrunk?' Kuroko wondered. There was already a 30-centimetre gap between them. Now, in female form, the gap only seemed to widen.
Aomine removed his hands from her and gulped. In his roughness, her shirt had fallen even more, exposing the tops of her ample bosom.
'Be strong Aomine.' Aomine thought to himself. As much as he tried to remind himself that she was actually a he, Aomine couldn't help but fluster. Wearing his oversized shirt and sporting tousled bed hair, Kuroko looked like a she had just woken up from a night of wild sex.
"I'll deal. But, you stink of alcohol, get in the bath. We need to get you clothes, girl clothes." Aomine repeated for clarity as he pushed her into the bathroom.
"Aren't you coming in too?" Aomine and Kuroko often bathed together. They had since they were children.
'Be more self-aware idiot,' Aomine thought.
"I'll join you when your balls grow back." Aomine closed the bathroom door with a slam and walked into his bedroom before collapsing into his futon.
Aomine let everything which had happened that morning digest.
There was a gorgeously beautiful woman taking a bath in the room right next to his. Before he could stop himself, a vision of Kuroko in all of her naked glory crept into his imagination.
'Fuck!'
Determined to halt the stirrings of arousal, Aomine turned around and began to do push-ups, driven to exert himself to distraction.
'It's just Tetsu for chrissake.' Aomine chastised himself.
He was acting completely out of character. He'd taken women to love-hotels an inestimable number of times. He was used to women. He was used to the female form. Despite that, he had never experience an urge so aggressive before.
"Aomine-kun, the bath's ready for you," Kuroko said as she entered Aomine's room. "It's unusual for you to close your door." Her tanned friend was usually too lazy to do anything he deemed unnecessary.
"Ahh… Tetsu! Knock damn it!" Aomine shouted, startled by Kuroko's sudden appearance in his room.
Aomine almost bit his tongue as he turned around. Kuroko was naked except for a small towel wrapped around her tiny waist. Her long hair was loosely pinned high on her head, baring every delicious dip and curve to his view. Her skin was still pink from the bath.
All of Aomine's effort went to waste. He grabbed his pillow and plonked it right where it hid his growing manhood.
"Damn it Tetsu. Don't come into a guy's room fucking topless!"
"But I'm a guy."
"You're not one right now."
"Aomine-kun, I am a guy." Kuroko repeated.
"Not with that rack you're not."
She sighed indifferently. "It's fine isn't it?" Kuroko asked. "Aomine-kun likes big breasts." She made a mock pose of what those idols frequently did on the cover of Aomine's gravure magazines.
"Tch, you're doing that on purpose aren't you?." Aomine forced himself to look away. "Now get out."
"But, Aomine-kun. There's a problem."
"You don't say." Aomine grumbled.
"I can't go out without a bra. My back's aching as it is." Kuroko crossed her arms beneath her breasts, hoping to give them some support.
"You're definitely doing that on purpose," Aomine was frustrated beyond belief at his best friend. "Fine, fine, I just need to get you some underwear right? I get it, now leave already."
"Thank you, Aomine-kun." Kuroko gave a slight bow before exiting his room, closing the door behind her.
Aomine brought the pillow up to his face. He was blushing harder that he cared to admit.
'My god, she's an F-cup.'
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 01/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Aomine Daiki sipped his energy drink as he sat down in the living room. He had just finished shopping. In the end, the salesperson, an aged lady, had cornered him into buying multiple sets of lingerie, a few pair of hosieries, a couple of dresses, and even a turquoise choker.
'A necklace given from a boy to a girl symbolises his possession of her.' That was what the lady said.
'What a load of bull," Aomine thought. "Still, it might ward off unwanted suitors. God knows how many of those creeps will latch onto to her when they see her."
"Maybe I should buy her more jewellery," Aomine wondered out loud.
"Aomine-kun?"
"Ahh! What the fuck? How long have you been here?" How could he have not noticed her walk into the living room? Especially in her state of dress, or rather, undress. She wore a pair of track-pants, baggy and low on her hips. A lacy, floral-motif, light blue bra hung loosely from her shoulders.
"For a while," she answered. "I can't hook it properly." She parted her long hair and showed her back to Aomine. Sure enough, the bra was unhooked. The sight of Kuroko arching her back like that was almost too much for Aomine.
"What are you showing it to me for?" Aomine grumbled.
"Well, Aomine-kun is more experienced with these things than I am." Kuroko said.
"I am experienced in taking them off, not putting them on," said Aomine.
"Ah, right. I better call Momoi-san." Kuroko got up to leave, but Aomine grabbed her hand.
"Are you stupid? Have you forgotten that you need to fall in love within the next year? That Momoi girl's the closest thing you've got to a female friend. She's the perfect candidate for you to fall in love with. Don't ruin your chances by doing something so stupid," said Aomine.
"Then, Aomine-kun," Kuroko sat down with her back to Aomine again. "If you'd please."
Aomine sighed. 'Who knew there'd come a day where I'd be putting underwear on a girl instead of ripping it off?'
"Done. Now go put something over it." It took a few attempts, but Aomine finally had the finicky hook in place. Even from the back, he could tell that it fitted her perfectly.
"Aomine-kun, do girls experience a funny feeling when guys touch their backs?" Kuroko asked. Her face was flushed.
"What?! Don't ask me such a question. How should I know?" Aomine was taken by surprise. Some of the girls he had bedded had erogenous zones on their backs, but he had not nearly touched Kuroko enough to elicit such a reaction.
'Is she that sensitive?' Aomine thought, wondering what would happen if he stroked Kuroko's back in earnest. It was a temptation he stomped to death as quickly as it crept into the back of his mind.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 06/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Kuroko Tetsuya was exiting Teikou University's Department of Education when a yellow whirlwind of a human being promptly clung onto him.
"Kurokocchi!" Wailed Kise Ryouta. "I saw Aominecchi during the weekend."
"Kise-kun, you're too close." Kuroko deadpanned, vexed as he tried in vain to walk with Kise clinging to him.
"Aominecchi was buying bras and panties you know? Bras and panties! Lingerie! That's female underwear!" Kise said.
"I know what bras and panties are, Kise-kun," Kuroko stated.
"Has Aominecchi's booby fetish finally evolved into something more sinister? Or maybe he can't get it up with just visual aids anymore? Crap! Maybe he's a closet freak who likes cross-dressing." Kise was talking a mile a minute "Aominecchi's so damn cool! The notion of him fapping to female underwear, or worse, wearing them… Ahhh! I can't take it Kurokocchiiii! I won't accept it!"
"Kise-kun, you're too loud. It's getting annoying." Kuroko's calm voice held undertones of irritation.
"So cruel!" Kise moped.
Taking pity on Kise, Kuroko revealed, "Aomine-kun bought them for someone else." Inwardly, he thought, 'It's not a lie."
"Really? Who? A girlfriend?" Kise brightened up immediately, happy to know that the varsity basketball star he idolised wasn't a freak after all. "I knew it. Aominecchi's so cool! He's a man of refined taste, so of course he would buy lingerie for his girlfriend. But, how come I don't know his girlfriend?"
"I'm- She's not his girlfriend," Kuroko corrected.
"Whoa! He gives lingerie to his non-steady lovers? That's so mature-"
Suddenly, Kise was removed from Kuroko's person. Kuroko turned around to see Aomine holding a nervous-looking Kise by the back of his collar.
"Heheheh, hi Aominecchi…" Kise greeted timidly.
"Stop draping yourself over Tetsu every time you see him. It's disgusting," said Aomine as he released Kise. A vein popped out on his forehead. Unlike Kuroko, his irritation with their blonde friend was blatant. "What are you doing here anyways?" Kise wasn't a student at Teikou University. He was already a successful idol in middle school, and chose to focus on his television career after high school.
"Well, I wanted to ask Kurokocchi about Aominecchi's shopping spree-" Kise was cut off by Aomine.
"We're done talking about that," said Aomine.
"And I wanted to invite Kurokocchi to a new café that just opened in the city. Their vanilla milkshakes have been featured in Teen Weekly," Kise continued, hoping that Kuroko would accept his invitation.
"No, thank you. I am happy with Maji Burger's vanilla milkshakes." This must have been the thirteenth time this year that Kuroko had rejected Kise's invitation, but that never seemed to discourage the blonde man's efforts in getting his date with Kuroko.
"Wait, Tetsu'll go," Aomine said suddenly. "But not with you." He gave Kise a pointed look. "This is a good excuse to ask that pink-haired girl out Tetsu," Aomine said to Kuroko.
'Aomine-kun is really serious about pairing me up with Momoi-san,' Kuroko thought, wondering why he felt slightly upset by his eagerness. Kuroko found his own predicament inconvenient, but did Aomine really detested his female form so much that he would go out of his way to plan a date for him and someone else?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 2 hours laterXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"This parfait is delicious! Thanks for bringing me to this place Kuroko-kun," Momoi Satsuki smiled as she took another scoop of her sweet dessert.
"Don't mention it, Momoi-san. I'm glad you're enjoying this," replied Kuroko. He took a sip of his vanilla milkshake, still preferring Maji Burger's version of the drink better.
Aomine and Kise were sitting in a corner of the café. Aomine wore a lazy look on his face as he watched the pair. Kise, however, was chewing at his napkin, frustrated that Momoi had taken what was supposed to be his seat.
'Come on Tetsu, act more interested! You're sitting with the hottest girl in the statistics department for chrissake,' thought Aomine. He really couldn't take any more of female Kuroko. She ignited a wild, burning passion within him everything she was near, and Kuroko's nonchalant disposition on her current sex didn't help either.
Aomine needed the curse, if one could call it that, lifted.
Fast.
Otherwise, who knows how long his control, and sanity, would last.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 11/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Kuroko Tetsuya was sitting at her usual table at Maji Burger, sipping her favourite vanilla milkshake, when a giant muscle factory of a man brusquely plunked himself down on the seat across her. He had a mountain of burgers on his tray.
'What a healthy appetite,' Kuroko thought, looking at him as she counted the seconds until he would notice her presence.
3…
2…
1
"Nghkk!" The red-head proceeded to down half of his super-sized soda, thumping his chest so he could swallow his mouth full of burgers. "What the hell?! Who are you? Why are you sitting here?"
"I've been here since the start. Kagami-kun was the one who sat down uninvited," said Kuroko.
"'Kagami-kun?'" Kagami raised an eyebrow at Kuroko, trying to remember if he knew the girl from somewhere. "Have we met?"
"We attended a Japanese seminar together back in our third year of high school," Kuroko explained. "Although, I'm not surprised you don't remember me."
'I was a guy back then after all," Kuroko thought.
'I'm surprised I don't remember you,' Kagami thought. Sure, he wasn't one to pay too much attention to girls, but even he would've certainly noticed someone as striking as her.
That waterfall of soft, light-blue hair; those big, beautiful eyes; that expanse of clear, flawless skin; that pert little nose; those naturally pouty lips which were made for kissing.
'And those… assets…' Kagami gulped. She was dressed in boyish, ill-fitting clothes, but one would've had to be blind to not notice those bouncy breasts. 'Did I really miss someone like her? Then again, she does have an almost invisible presence.'
"Uh, umm," Kagami finally managed after a while. "What's your name?"
"Just call me Kuroko," answered Kuroko. In truth, she wasn't certain what her name was in this state.
"How's your Japanese now? You were giving the lecturer a hard time back then as I recall," asked Kuroko.
"It's decent, I guess..." Kagami had spent most of his life in the States, so he still struggled with Japanese from time to time.
"Actually, Seirin University requires all undergraduates to pass a 100-level Japanese Literature paper in order to graduate," Kagami said as he bit into his sixth burger. "I'm taking it for the bloody third time this year. It's hard." Kagami complained.
"I could tutor you." Kuroko offered, surprising Kagami.
"You could? Why would you?" Kagami asked.
"I'm doing a Bachelor of Teaching. It will be valuable experience for me, tutoring an idiot that is," Kuroko bluntly explained.
"Why you little…" Kagami impulsively stood up. "If you were a guy, I'd beat your sorry arse for that-" Kagami was stopped by the sudden aura of killing intent he felt behind him.
"Put your hands on Tetsu and I'll dress you as a lettuce and feed you to the snails. It will be a very slow death..." Aomine drawled.
"What?" Kagami was left speechless.
'What the fuck just came out of my frickkin mouth?!' Aomine didn't let his embarrassment show.
Kuroko had been waiting for Aomine to finish his last lecture for the day. Yet, when he'd finally arrived at Maji Burger, he saw a guy all up in her personal bubble.
Aomine hadn't been jealous. 'Hell no, why would I get jealous over that?' But, it still bothered him that a guy he didn't know was so over-familiar with her.
Kuroko was trying to suppress a smile at Aomine's verbal diarrhoea, but it was obvious to her best-friend what she was thinking.
'Damn it Tetsu, don't laugh.' Aomine groaned inwardly.
"Anyways, let's go Tetsu," Aomine stared down Kagami, the look in his eyes reminiscent of an animal marking his territory.
"You play?" Kagami asked, motioning to the basketball Aomine had in hand.
"Yeah, so?" Aomine answered, not keen on acknowledging the red-head. "Tch…"
"What's that 'tch' supposed to mean huh?!" Kagami took a step toward Aomine. 'What's with these two? Do they make a habit of messing with people they barely know?'
"Aomine-kun, please behave." Coming from someone who was absolutely tiny compared to the two boys, the scolding was completely ineffective.
'Stop acting so fucking cute. If anything, you're making me naughty,' Aomine regretfully admitted to himself.
"Kagami-kun, Aomine-kun's the ace of Teikou's basketball team," said Kuroko.
"Huh, is he any good?" Kagami taunted.
"Better than you," Aomine leaned in intimidatingly. 'This punk's really getting on my nerves.'
"You sure about that?" Kagami countered.
"Any closer and you'll kiss." Kuroko said abruptly, causing the boys to immediately recoil from each other.
"Regardless," Aomine said after recovering. "The only one who can beat me is me."
"Wanna bet on that?" If there's one thing Kagami prided himself on, it was his basketball skills.
"What are the terms?" Aomine would crush him, if only just to let off a little steam.
"1 on 1. 10 games. Winner spends all of Friday with Kuroko." Kagami named his terms. 'She seems important to him. It'll be that much sweeter when I beat him.'
'No honorifics?' A vein popped on Aomine's forehead. 'And Friday, isn't that Valentine's Day?'
"Actually, I am a gu-" Kuroko was interrupted by Aomine.
"Like I'll hand over Tetsu to the likes of you." Aomine drawled. "You're on. Thursday, 3 o'clock, Teikou Stadium. I'll be waiting."
"I don't agree with this," said Kuroko, but the boys were too busy glaring at each other to listen to her.
"Let's go, Tetsu." Aomine gave Kagami one last smirk before taking Kuroko's hand and began pulling her towards the exit.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 5 minutes later XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Aomine and Kuroko were cutting through a quiet park on their way home.
"Aomine-kun," Kuroko panted, her short breaths coming out as little puffs of vapour in the cold February air. "I can't keep up with you."
"Oh." Aomine released her hand. In his ire, he hadn't even noticed that he had been pulling Kuroko along all this while. She could no longer keep up with his long strides.
As soon as she was released, Kuroko ended up slumping, face down into the snow.
"Sheesh…" Aomine squatted in front Kuroko. "You're the most graceless girl ever."
"But I'm a guy." Kuroko spoke with her face buried in the snow.
"You're not one right now."
"Aomine-kun, I am a guy." Kuroko repeated.
"Not with that rack-" Aomine interrupted himself. "We've had this pointless conversation before."
"Still, it doesn't diminish the fact that I am a guy." She still faced the snow.
"Tch…" Aomine was getting tired of talking to the back of her head. He took her by her shoulders and heaved her up.
She was light as a feather.
'How can you keep calling yourself a guy when you weigh as much as a cat, idiot,' Aomine thought.
The snow had stuck to her face.
"Pffttt, you look like crap. Wipe that shit off your face." Aomine laughed. "Anyway, fall in love quickly and become a real man again if you're so insistent about being a guy."
"Aomine-kun, may I fall in love with you?" Kuroko asked in her usual composure.
"Hell no," Aomine replied firmly. 'Don't ask me such a question with your face looking like a melted marshmallow.' He wiped the snow off with his gloved hand. Looking closely, he realised that both versions of Kuroko didn't look that different at all. They were both adorable, in the unconventional sense.
"Thank you Aomine-kun, I think all the snow's gone now," Kuroko said, snapping Aomine out of his reverie.
'The fuck? How long did I just stand here with my hand on her face? What in the world just happened?' The tanned athlete had completely forgotten the passage of time.
"Ahhhh… right, sorry," Aomine said, turning away to hide his blush as he berated himself.
'Stop blushing, you look fucking prepubescent.'
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 12/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
When Kuroko walked out of the bath today, he found Aomine Daiki, who had just finished his morning run, coming through their front door. For some reason, Aomine wouldn't acknowledge Kuroko, who was only wearing a pair of shorts, properly.
"Aomine-kun, are you avoiding me?" Kuroko asked. Things have been a bit awkward since yesterday. 'As I thought, Aomine-kun hates my current condition. I'm trying, and Momoi-san is a nice girl, so I'm not sure why I'm still swapping sexes.'
"I'm not," Aomine drawled, but still refused to look at Kuroko, choosing to concentrate on untying his shoelaces instead.
"I'm a guy today see?" Kuroko pulled down the front of his shorts. "My balls."
"Don't casually pull down your fucking shorts!" Aomine yelled, throwing his left sneaker at him in a fit of rage.
'He better not do this in front of other people, especially when he's a she.' Aomine groaned, massaging the bridge of his nose in exasperation. He had always been attracted, at least sexually, to Kuroko's female form. But, ever since that fateful day he woke up practically molesting her, he'd slowly become more aware of Kuroko's male form as well. The latter attraction was nowhere near as intense at the former, but still…
'Am I turning bi for my best friend?' But, since Kuroko was a guy one day and a girl the next, it was truly complicated beyond belief.
'No, that can't be,' Aomine reasoned. 'It's because of Tetsu's tits. I am a man hailing from planet boob. I love big tits. Boobies banzai!'
"Ah," Kuroko smiled; seemingly satisfied that Aomine was properly talking, well yelling technically, at him now. "Aomine-kun's cursing again. That means you're fine no? I'm glad. You've been weird since yesterday at the park."
"I-" Aomine stammered. "Huh, I guess I have." He couldn't deny it. Kuroko would have known. They knew each other too well. 'No point worrying about it. I just need to wait till he falls in love. Then this whole thing will blow over and everything will go back to normal.'
"Well, I supposed it doesn't matter now." Kuroko said as he walked into his room. He re-emerged moments later fully dressed. "I'll be going on a date with Momoi-san today. Can you handle your own dinner?"
'Cheer me on, Aomine-kun,' Kuroko thought to himself.
"Oh…" Aomine paused. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Go get 'em tiger"
Kuroko smiled as he left the apartment, leaving Aomine alone with his mortification. "'Go get 'em tiger'? What the fuck's wrong with me?"
Aomine ran his fingers through his short dark-blue hair in frustration.
"He'll fall in love, this whole thing will blow over, and everything will go back to the way it once was… Right?"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 12/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Kuroko Tetsuya and Momoi Satsuki had gone to an indoor water park for their date.
Momoi had caught the attention of a multitude of males, much to the fury of their girlfriends, the moment she left the changing room.
"My god, look at her!"
"So... so cute!"
"What a babe!"
"Marry me!"
"Kuroko-kun~. What do you think? Does it look good on me?" Momoi wore a pink bathing suit. Given her generous proportions, it left little to the imagination.
"It's cute, Momoi-san." Kuroko replied.
"Kuroko-kun, you're making me blush!" Momoi flushed as she buried her face in his shoulder, causing most of the male population to glare daggers at him.
"No way!"
"What the fuck is she doing with that wimp?"
"That can't be her date right? He's barely even visible!"
"D… D.. Die!"
"Momoi-san, it's difficult to breathe…" Kuroko said before simply removing Momoi from his person and headed toward the artificial beach, shocking her.
"Ehh?..." It wasn't the norm for a man to be so unaffected by her charms. 'Does Kuroko-kun not see me as a woman? But, he thinks I'm cute, doesn't he?'
"Momoi-san, why didn't you follow me?" Kuroko suddenly appear out of nowhere and asked, shocking Momoi yet again. He held out his hand. "Come on, you wanted to play in the water right?"
"Ahh umm yes…" Momoi hesitated.
'Maybe he isn't interested in me after all?'
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 13/02/2014 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
When Kuroko woke up this morning, she felt more tired than usual.
"Ya gonna brend inta za woll if ya get ary paler." Aomine Daiki drawled with his toothbrush still in his mouth.
"Good morning Aomine-kun," Kuroko greeted as she entered the bathroom and reached for her toothbrush on the bathroom sink.
"How was the date?" Aomine asked.
"Not good," was Kuroko's quick reply.
"Why?" Aomine sat on the edge of the bathtub. "You were so late coming home last night. I would've thought everything went great."
"Moimoi-san wasn't happy," said Kuroko after rinsing her mouth.
"Har?" Aomine cocked any eyebrow. "How so?"
"Apparently I offended her when I didn't get jealous that other guys were asking her to hang out with them. That – and I'm not aggressive enough – apparently." Kuroko regurgitated what she was told last night.
"Congratulations," Aomine congratulated her.
"What do you mean?" Kuroko asked.
"She likes you. She's probably just impatient about getting to the next level." Aomine explained. "A girl like her isn't used to being left in waiting."
"Aomine-kun, you understand women so well," said Kuroko.
"Coming from you, that sounds like an insult." Aomine got up and left. Kuroko followed soon after to find him pouring orange juice in their kitchen.
"Does it? Well then, Aomine-sensei." Kuroko make a little mock curtsey. "Please teach me how to be aggressive."
"Harrr?" Aomine scowled. "You don't have to change yourself. Just hold her hand, kiss her, say her hair smells like roses and shit. That'll probably satisfy her for now."
"And later? When she wants to go even further?" Kuroko pressed, making Aomine's scowl deepen even further.
"You're a hundred years too early to be thinking about that, idiot virgin." Aomine flicked her on her forehead.
"Ouch…" It was almost imperceptible, but Kuroko definitely pouted. Aomine had never seen her pout before.
'Even her personality's becoming more feminine. Crap, that's so damn cute,' he thought.
"I don't have a hundred years. I have less than one," Kuroko said before walking into her flatmate's bedroom.
"Oi, Tetsu?" Aomine followed the moment he sat his drink on the counter.
"Looking for research material. Aomine-kun has so much porn, I'm sure you won't mind me borrowing a couple?" She got on all fours and started digging through his mountain of shoeboxes. 'Which box does he keep his collection in?'
"I very much do mind." Aomine panicked. 'The last thing I want is her studying porn.' It was the last place anyone should go to get a realistic view on sex. "Oi stop!"
Aomine grabbed Kuroko by her waist, wanting to pull her away from the boxes. However, in his alarm, he had miscalculated his strength and her slightness, sending the both of them tumbling into his futon.
"Aomine-kun, you're heavy…" Kuroko breathed.
Even though Aomine had stopped himself in time, managing to put most of his weight on his arms beside her, his chest still sat atop her ample bust, putting pressure on her ribcage.
'Shit! They're so fucking soft…' Aomine cursed, his manhood went from lax to erect in a fraction of a second. 'I need to get off her, but if I do, she'll notice.'
"Ah… Sorry?" Aomine didn't know what to say.
"Actually…" Kuroko paused in thought before continuing. "That might work. Aomine-kun, could we practice?"
"Practice?" Aomine's face strained from both confusion and arousal.
"Yes, I lack the skills to progress with Momoi-san. But, Aomine-kun, you could teach, or rather, show me how it's done," Kuroko spoke in all seriousness.
"What?!" Even Aomine was surprised at how high and strangled his voice came out.
"It'd be easier for me to learn from a girl's perspective, don't you think?" Kuroko reasoned.
"You want me to show you how to have sex, by having sex with you?!" Aomine gaped. It was incredulous. 'This situation feels like a cheap hentai premise for fucks sake!' Aomine was sweating buckets of figurative sweat. The bulge in his pyjama pants was threatening to pop. 'Crap, I might not actually have the strength to refuse her. How am I supposed to refuse her something like this?'
"No."
The clear-cut rejection was enough to send Aomine's balls shrinking right up to his chin.
"Wha…? But…"
"I meant dating and foreplay, not the act of sex itself," Kuroko explained. "Aomine-kun's too big. You'd probably rip me apart with that thing. Her eyes looked down, indicating her knowledge of his current state.
That sent Aomine flying right off Kuroko. "Don't say such things with a straight face, you fucking idiot!" He left the room to hide his blush.
'Damn it all to hell! Was I so desperate that I completely misunderstood her? Of course Tetsu didn't mean sex. She's been a fucking guy up until two weeks ago. I'm a frickkin idiot…'
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 9 hours later XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
By three in the afternoon, Aomine Daiki was already a flaming ball of pent-up rage and frustration.
"What's the matter with Aomine?" The captain of the basketball team, Nijimura Shūzō, asked another member of their team. "It's rare to see him so worked up."
"Look to your left, on the bleachers. There's your answer."
"Huh?" The non-regulars were huddled around a girl wearing a simple wool-knit dress. "Why is there a girl at our practice? It's distracting the guys." Nijimura asked his second in command.
"It's Aomine's girl. Well, they came together anyways. A stick with breasts isn't she? His type exactly. Apparently he and some dude from Seirin had a bet involving her. He should be arriving soon for a 1 on 1 battle."
"Seirin? That new university has a team?"
"They haven't played in any official games, so it's more of a club at this point. But Aomine didn't say anything about the guy being part of that club."
"Huh… Interesting…"
"Oi freshmen! Take a run around the perimeter!" Aomine suddenly ordered, receiving numerous groans in reply. The non-regulars looked to Nijimura and groaned a second time when he gave his nod of approval.
"Tch…"
"Aomine's in a foul mood, the Seirin kid's doomed." None of the regulars disagreed with their captain.
Minutes later, Kagami walked onto the court.
"Yo, Kuroko," Kagami greeted.
"Hi, Kagami-kun," Kuroko returned the greeting. "Please play as hard as you can," warned Kuroko.
"No problem." Kagami smirked. 'She's rooting for me huh?'
"I've been waiting." Aomine walked over, threw Kagami the ball harder than necessary, turned around, and walked towards the hoop without another word.
"Che… Arrogant ass…" Kagami muttered, dribbling the ball slowly as he walked towards Aomine.
"You say something?" Aomine was so pissed; he might as well have spat out those words.
After the morning's unfortunate event, he had nearly beaten every single guy on campus who dared look at Kuroko in a suggestive manner. She was starting to lose her low presence with each passing day, and the number of men he had to deter every time she came on campus as a girl was growing at an alarming rate.
"Ah nothing. Just wondering which arm pillow I'm gonna offer Kuroko tomorrow. Does she sleep on the right or the left side of the bed?" Kagami taunted. Inwardly cringing, he told himself, 'Ughh… I need to work on my trash talk.'
Little did Kagami know what he had done with just that idle threat.
There was a dangerous flash in Aomine's eyes.
"Time to play, punk."