Spoilers for the book Sleeping Giants, by Sylvain Neuvel. I own none of the books, video games, movies, or music that I reference in here.
City of eight and a half million people, he thought as his feet hit the concrete. It was interesting how someone could feel more alone in such a crowded, vibrant place than anywhere else in the world. He took a quick look around the rooftop and stepped out of the shadow, walking along the protective wall that surrounded the edge. It wasn't too high, on one side; five feet down onto the gravel roof, which was nothing. Over fifteen stories and the entire city on the other side.
It wasn't on his route, but neither was he; it was just a good view. Far from uptown, which glittered on the distant end of the street like sunlight that sparkled on the river, the road directly below was lit only by streetlamps and apartment windows and the occasional passing car. For New York it was a quiet block.
He wasn't quite sure what had him hankering for an escape route and a quiet rooftop; admittedly he was still a bit miffed about the 'no opinion but mine' shit Leo had pulled, but as the months passed it only simmered in the back of his mind. Leo was arrogant and said stupid shit when riled, he knew that, and he had gotten over it. He would have called Casey for a night of ass-kicking, but regardless of the guy's enthusiasm for kicking creeps to the curb he still slipped up, still watched Raph and his family out of the corner of his eye, still said things that he didn't realize made Mikey's face twist, or Donny clench and unclench his fists, and Raphael didn't really want to deal with it tonight.
For all that tv made girls out to be dramatic and weepy, April was actually pretty cool to hang out with. She had more action and true crime films than chick flicks, and could prance around in her spindly high heels and match him in teasing and insults. And damned if those high heels didn't hurt, too. He felt a little guilty for immediately assuming that she'd have an apartment full of flowers and Nicholas Sparks books – which she did, but she also had articles reporting about wars and gang activity taped on her walls, and went on intel missions for Donnie without blinking an eye. She knew him better than to try to get him to talk about feelings, and he knew her enough that he usually ended up passionately ranting during the second round of Call of Duty anyway. But he didn't want to talk to April; he just wanted to walk on the edge of a random rooftop, feel the call of the void and the wind push him toward the street below, and resist. Because that was a perfectly sane thing to do.
Shadow enveloped him as he walked behind a large air-conditioning unit, cutting a corner of the roof and sitting on the adjacent edge. It wasn't very comfortable; the ledge was really too small for someone with a huge shell covering their back, and he was a big guy anyway, so he had to concentrate to keep his balance.
He could take a hit harder than anyone in the world but that trigger-happy rhino guy, and he knew that he could survive the fall, if he tried.
But up here, high above the ground with nothing but the wind and the sounds of traffic and block parties distant and echoing, he felt truly alone in the city of eight million souls. The distance, the wind and the streetlights and the pavement below echoed in his bones, and he sat on the edge of the building and resisted, resisted, resisted.
Which is why he nearly fell off the roof when a voice to his right said:
"As far as last views go, it's not a bad one."
With her neighbors on either side of her apartment fighting and the young couple across the hall having some sort of jam session, she'd gone onto the roof to get away from people. Armed with a book and her flashlight app, the corner of the roof had been colonized as Rubyland for several weeks, ever since she found out that the "Door is Alarmed" sign was lying. She'd even stashed a few extra reads and a packet of Oreos, though some pigeons might have gotten at it. As much as she enjoyed the city and all it had to offer, the immense crowds and constant people wore her down by the end of the day, and retreating to a solitary space that didn't echo with techno rap and 'The blender's perfectly fine, Marcus, it's supposed to do that!' was her daily treat to herself.
So when she heard quiet footsteps padding along the side of the roof, she felt more annoyed than scared. What the hell is anyone else doing up here, she snapped internally, shutting off her flashlight app before they could see it, not that she was really hidden anyway. God, I hope nobody's come up here to get it off. That was another thing about the big city, she'd found out. People whipped it out anywhere.
She mentally cringed as she listened to the person pace, but there were no creepy sounds, just footsteps. Then – the sound of something hard and heavy touching against the air-conditioner; vibrations against her back. She peered around the corner of the unit and saw nothing but a shadow within a shadow. It stayed still for a very long time, and her trepidation of meeting a pervert moved into a different kind of fear; if they weren't up here to party, or read, or jerk off, were they here to jump? They were certainly perched as precariously as possible.
What the hell was she supposed to do? She wasn't trained for this. What if she said the wrong thing and they jumped? What if she said the wrong thing, and they became her responsibility? What if she was totally wrong and ended up making an ass of herself in front of someone who just wanted a quiet view of the city? And what if she didn't say anything, and watched them push off the edge and splat on the pavement below, sorry, Officer, yeah I saw them but I didn't really want to get involved…
Shit shit shitshitshitshitshit…
Her mouth opened before she really had time to plan what she wanted to say.
"As far as last views go," it said, "It's not a bad one."
They guy – as she found out by the screech – nearly ended up falling anyway, only preventing it by throwing his arms back against the air-conditioner. The solid banging jolted her and she dropped her book, swearing just as loudly as he did.
"What the hell," she heard him say. There were a few tense moments of silence, then:
"What the hell are you doing up here?"
Ruby felt around the dark for her book and held it up to the light.
"This is my corner," she said defensively. "The hell you doing up here?"
The stranger was silent.
"Better not be jumping," she muttered. A sigh answered her.
"I'm not – it's…I wasn't gonna jump," the stranger said. She heard him shift, probably to a more stable spot. A peek around the edge of the AC showed nothing but a large black mass sitting in a larger, slightly-less black mass.
"Don't look!"
Something in his voice made her do what he said, and she turned away from the shadow, pressing her back against the metal unit. The crap-?
"What? Why?"
"You just…you stay on your side, alright?"
"You okay?" She asked, the words almost instinctive. Someone stubbed their toe, you okay? Someone looking broody at work, you okay? Someone almost falling off a building and not wanting her to see them, you okay?
A soft exhalation answered her.
"Fine," he said, "Just…"
"I'll stay on my side and you stay on yours," Ruby said firmly. "No problem."
She noisily ruffled the pages of her book, but was too curious to even pretend to read.
"So…if you aren't here to jump, why are you up here," she asked. "How'd you even get up here? I didn't hear the door."
"Ain't none of your business."
"True," she nodded, folding her book back in her lap. "So you picked a tiny ledge on a high rooftop for quiet contemplation. Totally normal."
She didn't believe him about the 'not jumping' thing. She was the last person who would claim to be good at reading people, but something was wrong. She didn't trust him alone on the roof any more than she trusted herself on the edge of a cliff – not that she wanted to jump, but looking down a steep distance had a siren calling, and abyss that looked back at you, a chasm that begged you to lean a little further and fly. On her side of the building was a fire escape, rickety and probably not a whole lot of good, but at least it cut off a measure of danger if she listened to the call and fell.
"Don't you have a book to read," said the stranger. She smiled at the strength in his voice, a far cry from the rough quietness of earlier.
"I got to a boring part," she replied. "You're more interesting."
He muttered something that she didn't understand, maybe in a different language, but she caught the annoyance in his voice.
"The doctor lady's alive at the end," he said.
Ruby paused at the sudden turn in the conversation.
"What?"
"At the end of the book. They all have to go into hiding and the doctor lady, Rose – she's alive at the end but she doesn't remember anything."
Ruby felt an electric shock run up her arms and she slammed her book down onto the gravel, simultaneously insulted and amused.
"You fucker!"
The stranger chuckled from the shadows as she spluttered.
"ASShole! You do not just ruin somebody's book!"
He laughed from his shadow and the clear amusement in his voice shook the remnants of fear from Ruby's heart.
"Outta push you off the roof just for that," she growled.
"Serves you right for nearly makin' me fall," he said.
"Nice obit that would be," said Ruby. "'Came up to kill himself but didn't want to fall, got pushed off roof anyway."
The laughing stopped, as she knew it would. She shifted a little closer to the edge. It was quiet for several minutes. In the building below echoes of music spun out of the windows, joined by the radios from passing cars and soft echoes of horns in the distance. She had never understood the whole 'city that never sleeps' thing until she'd moved to New York. If she wanted to get an ice cream and see a play, shop for shoes, buy a tacky I HEART NY t-shirt, somewhere out there she could. The city didn't shut down for something as quiet and quaint as night; it just turned on the lamps, and kept going.
"You still there," she asked, after her phone showed ten minutes of silence.
More shifting, and something leathery creaking.
"I wasn't gonna jump," said the stranger. "I just…like the feeling."
The call of the void, thought Ruby. She nodded to herself.
"Understandable," she said, "But you understand why I'm a little nervous right now?"
"I'm not your responsibility," he huffed.
"Then why are you still here? I mean, you're perfectly free to leave, you don't actually have to sit out here and talk to me."
"Maybe I'm waitin' for you to piss off," he said caustically. Ruby snorted.
"No dice, jerkface. I was here first, I got seniority on this roof right now. So you can either let me get back to my book – which you completely ruined, by the way – or you can tell me your name."
"The hell you asking for?"
"Nosiness," said Ruby, which earned her a chuckle.
"Raphael," he said. She almost snorted before she reminded herself that her mom named her Ruby Diamond, she didn't really have much room to judge.
"Like the archangel or the painter?"
"Painter."
"Cool."
The conversation petered off for a moment while they watched a guy with a boombox on this bike badly rap his way down the street.
"'S a good book," said Raphael.
"Hmm? Oh, you mean the one you ruined? Like an asshole?"
"Don'y mean you can't finish it," he said. Ruby prodded the book with her toe where it lay forlornly on the gravel.
"Try the sequel. I won't spoil it for you," he said quickly. Ruby saw the opening and pounced on it.
"Voracious reader?"
"I got a lotta time," he said.
"Huh. Ever tried Pillars of the Earth? Ken Follett?"
"Nah. Got Fall of Giants, though. I liked that one."
"I had to read that for my history class," said Ruby. "I couldn't keep all the names and stories straight. You like mythology?"
"Don't really have an opinion. Why?"
Books, she could do books. Books and animals and movies were easy things to talk about. Ruby slid off the ledge and thumbed through her small stack of back-up books before she jumped up and slid the book she'd chosen around the corner of the AC unit.
"It's hilarious," she said. "Guaranteed to make you spit your drink or your money back."
"Zues Grants Stupid Wishes?"
"Mmm-hmm. Bring it back tomorrow night and tell me what you think."
There was a pause, but he said: "What, you donna give me a pop quiz?"
"Maybe," said Ruby. "Tomorrow night. You stay on your side and I'll stay on mine."
She heard a quiet creaking, like he was playing with the book.
"I, uh-"
"Don't you steal my book, now," Ruby said firmly. "You steal my book, I'll kick your ass."
It was an empty threat, and they both knew it. But Ruby had read something somewhere about getting people with suicidal intentions to promise to something, and if she was going to get involved, she was going to go all the way through.
"Yeah, sure you will," said Raphael. "Fine."
"Promise?"
"Fine!"
"No, no, you actually have to say that you promise," Ruby insisted.
"Why the fuck-"
"Promise."
"I-"
"Promi-"
"I promise to bring your damn book back tomorrow night," said Raphael, "Jeeze, lady."
"Great."
Ruby hopped off the ledge and scooted her book-and-Oreo hoard into a neat pile in the corner.
"See you then," she said, and walked to the door that led to the stairs. There was a frantic scooting which she presumed was the total stranger she'd just promised to meet again making sure that he was deep enough in the shadow, but she didn't turn around to try to see. She barely heard the edge of 'What the fuckin' hell…' being murmured before she opened the door and left the roof.
She stopped on the stair for a bit, resisting the urge to go back. She'd done her part; she'd make him promise to meet her, she'd tried to get him to vent, she'd tried to start up at least an acquaintance. Whatever happened next, it was his choice. She hoped that trusting him alone on the roof wouldn't be a disaster.
Human interaction, here I come, she thought.
How do you do feeeeeellliiiinnnggssss? I used to write so expressively when I was fourteen and filled with angst, and now it's like bluuuuhhhh…I spend all my days either by myself or with animals, so please forgive me if the conversations are stunted and sound weird, I've never been very good at them.
I think I was just daydreaming during work and listening to music when this happened. I have no idea if it will go any farther than a few chapters – I don't really have a set plot, just a few scenes that have been tangling in my head for a while.
For introverts, people can get tiring, even friends or family. After a while an introvert neeeeds to be alone, to rejuvenate themselves. It's like a plant being overwatered; sometimes you have to leave it alone to empty back up before it can take any more water; or in this confusing metaphor, and more human interaction. It varies on the introvert: my mom can be around people all day and just need a little quiet time, but she still likes company from family; I can be around people only a few times a day and still want to spend my afternoons and evenings completely alone.
The book Ruby is reading is Sleeping Giants. Sorry for the spoilers. It's a really riveting read even so. Pillars of the Earth is fantastic, though I have trouble with Follett's other books.
I went to Charleston for school after growing up in a very small town, and it was completely amazing to me that stores would keep open past ten, eleven, twelve. The single night I spent in New York was even more astonishing – I could buy a falafel and shop for souvenirs at three in the morning, if I had wanted. Night was day, just lit with a different light.