Reverse
A/N: I luff Tayuya, so I had to write a fic about her
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, there would be at least on girl in the Akatsuki.
"Good morning Tayuya!" Chirped Sakon.
Tayuya's eyes popped open to see a man wearing make up peering over her bed.
"KYAAAAAAAA!"
And that woke up the rest Otogakure.
"Calm down Tayuya!" Sakon said nervously.
"Did I miss something?" Ukon said groggily from behind Sakon.
"GET OUTTA MY ROOM YOU SHITHEADS!" Tayuya bellowed causing her teammates to fly out the door.
The Siamese twins came crawling back in.
"But we have chocolate for you!" Sakon bargained.
"Huh?" Tayuya raised an eyebrow.
"It's Valentines day," Ukon stated.
"And on Valentines day-" Sakon started explaining.
"I already fucking knew that, but you dumbasses are male, correct?" She asked with her eyes squinted in suspicion.
"Duh," Ukon answered matter of factly.
"Don't girls give the damn chocolate to the guys?" She questioned.
"Yeah, but we knew you would never make any of us chocolate, so we're making you chocolate!" Sakon replied.
Tayuya just stared at the duo as her right eye twitched.
"Whose fucking brilliant plan was this? Now I'm gonna have to buy all you shitheads presents for goddamn White Day! And since when have we ever even celebrated this fucking holiday? I bet it was that bastard Orochimaru's damn fault!" She raged.
"Now, now Tayuya, that's not proper language for a young lady. Maybe some chocolate will bring out your feminine side."
They turned to see Jirobo walking in, presenting a half-eaten chocolate bar to Tayuya, who just stared at it like it had the bird flu all over it.
"Sorry, I kinda got hungry," he said innocently as he scratched the back of his head while grinning.
Now Tayuya's right eye and the corner of her right lip were twitching.
"GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!"
And with that she locked the three and anyone else out of her room and pulled the blankets over her head to try and sleep again. Only after about 2 minutes she realized she couldn't go back to sleep due to the fact that she was fully awake now. She groaned and cursed her luck as she pulled her sheets off her head and rolled over to face the window, only to see Kidoumaru hanging on the roof by a thread and grinning at her with a box of chocolate in his hands.
She just stared at him with her mouth agape for a few moments and finally opened the window, found a pair of scissors, cut the thread causing him to go plummeting into the earth. After that, she closed the windows and hid under her sheets again.
Then there was a knock at her door.
"Who is it goddammit?" She snapped.
"Your beloved Orochimaru-sama," he answered.
"You don't have any fucking chocolate, do you?" She asked.
"Of course not," he answered.
"Then come in."
The door opened to reveal Orochimaru with Sasuke standing in front of him.
"Go on," Orochimaru urged as he pushed Sasuke into the room gently like a mother dropping her child off at pre school.
Sasuke padded over to Tayuya's bed, set down a little box most likely filled with chocolates and then totted back over to Orochimaru.
"Good boy," Orochimaru cooed and pushed him out of sight.
"Isn't he just adorable?" He mouthed to Tayuya, who just stared in a stupefied state.
He shut the door and Tayuya couldn't move or speak. Then the muscles in her face started moving of their own as the whole northern region of her face started twitching.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
"What is it Tayuya-san?" Kabuto asked worriedly as he burst through the door.
"Get the hell away from me!" She screamed.
"What's the matter?" He asked in a confused matter.
"You have chocolate you fucking pissmonkey! I know it!" She yelled as se backed away from him.
"Tayuya-san, as a medical ninja, I know that chocolate makes you fat and gives you pimples, so of course I wouldn't give you anything terrible like that," he assured.
"Oh thank god," she sighed in relief.
"Instead, I got you just plain old cocoa beans!" He presented.
Her jaw hit her mattress then she grabbed a lamp and threw it at him.
"GO TO HELL!"
And with that, she slammed the door shut and flopped back down on her bed.
"I gotta get the hell outta this looney bin. Kimimaro most likely didn't get me and fucking chocolate I hope, maybe we can train. Yes that's it, I'll go train with that asshole Kimimaro, which has nothing to do with any goddamn chocolate," she agreed to herself.
She quietly crept over to her door and peeked outside to see that no one was around. She snuck out into the hall and down the stairs and all the way outside and sighed in relief. Just as she did so, she accidentally stepped on Kidoumaru which cause her to scream and curse some more and run all the way to the training grounds where she found the guy she was looking for.
"Do you by any chance have any damn chocolate?" Tayuya asked when she spotted him.
"No, why, do you want some?" He asked with an un-amused face.
"NO!" She blurted out quickly.
He looked at her with the slightest hint of curiosity in his eyes.
"Let's just train," she ordered.
"I don't want to," he responded lazily.
Tayuya almost fell over, but a huge sweat drop appeared on her head instead.
"I'm hungry," he said absently mindedly.
"Then let's eat, in town, away from the team," she suggested sheepishly.
"Fine," he agreed and followed her into town.
The two found a café and were seated at a table for two.
"What can I get you two love birds to drink?" The waiter asked.
The two nin winced at the words "love birds."
"Might I suggest a chocolate malt or hot chocolate or a chocolate root beer float?" He offered.
"NO! Just get me a damn hamburger," she snapped.
"And you sir?" The waiter asked while turning to Kimimaro.
"Grilled cheese," he answered.
The waiter scurried off and the two were left alone.
"So, what's with this chocolate ordeal?" Kimimaro asked, slightly interested.
"You mean you don't know?" Tayuya nearly smiled when she heard this.
"Is there something I should know?" He questioned.
Somewhere in the farthest darkest corner of her mind, Tayuya want to jump across the table and glomp him in a huge choking squeeze.
"Nope!" She chirped happily.
He eyed her curiously, but then dismissed it as unimportant.
The waiter came with their food and Tayuya gobbled her hamburger barbarically, while Kimimaro took a more refined approach to his grilled cheese sandwich by going as far as cutting it and eating it with a fork. When they were finished, she let out a Tsunami causing belch while he wiped his mouth clean of any crumbs with a cloth napkin and paid the bill. They left the café with satisfied stomachs.
"You know what I want?" Tayuya asked out loud while strolling to get back to the grounds.
"Hm?" Kimimaro grunted.
"Chocolate," she responded. Then she stopped in her tracks.
"Wow, I actually want chocolate. Those dumbasses at home probably poisoned the shit they gave me though," she wondered aloud.
"Wait here," he ordered and went into a store.
"Huh?" She shook herself out of her realization to see Kimimaro coming out of the store with a small bag.
"Here," he said and handed her something.
It was a Hershey's 100 percent milk chocolate bar. She grinned as she took it from him, unwrapped it and took a bite.
"This hits the spot!" She exclaimed while still chewing.
She went to take another bite, but then stopped and looked up at Kimimaro.
"Er, thanks," she said awkwardly.
"Hn," he responded and the headed back home.
A month later…
"Happy White day Tayuya!" Sakon bellowed as he burst through Tayuya's door one morning.
"Motherfucker…" she mumbled as her eyelids came up.
"What's my gift? What's my gift?" He asked impatiently and excitedly.
"Here, it's a Sephora gift card, there's one or Ukon too. Now get the hell outta my room," she grumbled.
They day went on, Jirobo got a year subscription to Jenny Craig, Kidoumaru was sent to Islands of Adventure to ride the Spiderman virtual reality ride, Sasuke was given a sex change kit for his own safety and protection and Kabuto received a sexy nurse maid cosplay outfit for entertaining his Orochimaru-sama.
Tayuya sighed as she opened the refrigerator and got out Kimimaro's gift. She went out of the complex and to the training grounds where she knew she could find him. He was practicing some technique with his bones and Tayuya cleared her throat to get his attention once he was finished.
"What is it?" He asked stoically.
"Here, just fucking take it," she ordered as she shoved something into his hands.
"What's this?" He questioned while examining it.
"Chocolate milk you dumbass," she answered.
"Why are you giving me this?" He inquired.
"It's White day," she replied.
He slightly raised his left eyebrow.
"You really are a dumbass. A month ago was that retarded holiday called Valentines Day where chicks give dudes some fucking chocolate and then a month later the dudes buy something for the damn chicks who gave chocolate to them. But some lame ass bitch came up with the idea of the guys giving me chocolate so I'd be fucking stuck buying White day gifts. And on Valentines Day after we ate lunch, you got me a damn chocolate bar so I'm basically returning the fucking favor," she explained.
"Oh," was all he said.
"Well aren't you at least going to say 'thank you,' you bastard? I put a lot of damn thought into that!" She scolded.
"Really," he said almost sarcastically.
"I fucking did! Milk makes your bones strong, so I thought it'd be good for that damn bloodline limit of yours," she stated.
A slight smile graced his lips as he let out a half laugh/snort.
"What are you laughing at you pissmonkey?" Tayuya yelled.
He let out another half laugh again.
"What the hell is so damn funny?" She demanded.
"Nothing," he answered while shaking his head and the corner of his lips pulled into a smirk.
She cocked an eyebrow at him suspiciously.
"Thank you, Tayuya," he said looking right into her eyes, causing the faintest tinge of pink to form in her cheeks.
"Whatever," she scoffed and turned around.
He never got to see the satisfied smile on her face though.
A/N: Another totally unplanned story. I just love Tayuya so much and there aren't that many fics with her in it, so I dedicate this to her! Peace out.