Well this is nice! I started working on this on the 22 of April, so that should give some clue to how long it takes me to do one of these things. 1 part lazy, 2 parts lack of time. Like the last chapter, I have no idea how well this will end up being.
I don't own anything, not even my soul. Not Naruto, not cheese, nothing.
Chapter two: Frilly Dresses and Huge Hats
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The man sneaked silently down the street, avoiding any eyes that might be looking for him. He jumped into a back alley, before exiting in a new form. The man, well actually now he was a she, went back to the hotel where he, er…she had gotten a room for the night. (for the record, it is a male, but for better understanding of the events, I'm using "she."
If anyone would try to recall her, they would say she looked plain. She was in her early twenties, had on a pink sweeter and jeans, and short hair. She was in fact, the kind of person you would see in a crowd, only to lose because of how unnoticeable she was.
Kohana had changed since she had last been here. Business's seemed better off, people smiles seemed brighter, and everyone seemed happier. And the fear of course, but that was the bunshin's fault.
"Well it isn't like any of the bunshin's hurt them, though my chakra is a different story." The girl continued to walk down the street before coming to her hotel.
"Excuse me ma'am, but aren't you tired?" The girl turned around and looked at the old man who had spoken to her. "Cause you've been running through my mind all day!" The old man gave her a wink and she nearly face-faulted.
"Good Agni, I have to run into him!" The girl smiled faintly, her plan at having appearing in her early twenties to seem more natural and attract less attention hadn't only failed, but had attracted the completely wrong kind of attention. Her mind wheeling, she quickly made her reply. "You have five seconds to tell me who the hell you are before I punch you through a wall."
"You haven't heard of me? Why it is I! Jiraya! Master of toads, one of the three Sannin, lord of jutsu, king of kick ass, Sage of Shuriken, and ruler of romancing! "Wanna try me out?" The man made continuous eye brow gestures that frankly weirded out her too new levels. She was fortunately saved by a messenger running up to the old pervert.
"WHAT!" The man looked like he had suddenly had twenty years taken off his face, and he quickly zoomed away.
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"Where is she?" The other members of the council shrugged, some just grumbling. The news that Naruto had infiltrated the Hokage tower and tried to sneak in some paperwork was troublesome. But what was worse, was that the Hokage hadn't even shown up yet, and it had been thirty minutes! They was a creek as the door opened a few minutes later, and Tsunade came in followed by several ninjas.
"Spill the beans Tsunade! How did the brat get in here! You were helping him weren't you!" Almost every member was yelling the next second, the only ones not saying anything were Tsunade's entourage, and Hiashi.
"Let her speak fellow councilmen." Hiashi's words cut threw the yelling like a katana through a block of warm cheese. "You are all asking the wrong questions anyway." Tsunade frowned at this remark. "Yes Hokage, I figured it out too. But I thought you would get the man I needed, and it seems you have." Hiashi gestured toward one of the ninjas guarding her, a smaller man who looked to be in his seventies.
"I'll cut strait to the point, just as you suggested Hyuga-san." Tsunade sat down. "As of one hour and thirty seven minutes ago, Naruto Uzumaki attempted to turn in some paperwork about citizenship. But the problem lies not in this; it was probably just some other person who he carried the form for. The big problem is that he asked for a return to service form. Don't you get it? He staged this very well."
The council looked at her like she was insane, and several went as far as to say this out load. "But Hokage, once a man is declared a missing nin, he can't return to service until he is rehabilitated, so why is he risking his life to turn in a useless form?"
"He isn't a missing nin." The sentence hung in the room like bad drapes. Hiashi looked completely pissed off, and continued. "Something happened with the original forms, so therefore, when we announced he was risen from B to A it meant nothing because he wasn't B at all, was he?"
"You say it as if it was my fault Hiashi. I brought the man in charge of ranks," she gestured to the old ninja, "And he says he did receive the forms to upgrade, but never the initial form for him to become a missing nin in the first place, which he assumed just meant that someone was just using fake signatures to get their dirty work done. He did report it, but apparently it never got to us."
"You did it didn't you!" The representative of the merchant guild spoke up. "You have some ninja attack out messenger, and stop him from reaching his goal!" Shouts from the other council members soon overtook the room, with Hiashi staring down Tsunade like she was a convicted criminal.
"I have looked into the matter, and you wouldn't believe that I found. The messenger in question had a birthday the night he was given the letter, so he stopped to get some drinks. He was in a hospital with almost no memory for a week after a bar fight with Shibi Aburame. I have copies of the medical forms here.'' She handed out the forms, causing several embarrassed council members to sit down.
"But I think that we are missing the question Hokage, should we let the fox brat back into the village, being as apparently he never left?" Hiashi once again broke the silence, his tone icy cold.
"Personally, I think he disserves a chance to at least defend himself. We've had ninja's that have been gone longer with less explanation that were accepted back in." Tsunade said calmly, sitting down. "And secondly, he isn't named fox brat, so use his name."
"We can call him all we want! He is a menace! The files for all of his pranks have a whole filing cabinet to them!" The merchant representative rose his voice as he spoke. "I said it when he was born, I'll say it now, he should be killed!"
"Shut up Edward." Hiashi once again intervened. "Think about it, why were almost ready to have him be a S class missing ninja, power like that isn't all that common. He can be used as our weapon, with that much power he could carry out B or A missions on his own, risking only one ninja instead of a team of Chunin or Junín. But, if all else fails…" He shrugged, and looked over at Tsunade. "So how about it then, all in favor of letting him explain himself?" A group of council members, as well as Hiashi and Tsunade raised their hands. "Opposed?" Edward and several other members raised their hands. "That puts it at thirteen plus the Hokage, against seven without."
"Well that settles it, the papers say we can contact hi…" Jiraya burst into the room, causing all people in the room to jump and reach for weapons. "We have trouble Tsunade!" Jiraya quickly stepped forward and placed his hands on the table.
"What the hell is it Jiraya! We were discussing something!" Tsunade growled, sitting back down with the rest of the council.
"One of my best informants just reported that Orochimaru has switched bodies again as of about four months ago, and that is isn't Sauske."
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4 months ago…
Orochimaru sat at his desk in the village of sound. He disliked being in the village himself, too obvious for possibly attackers. But it wouldn't run itself, so he took a month out of every year off of training and hiding to check up and make sure everything was ok.
So for the reason, he sat in his office calmly reading a report. Suddenly, he looked up. After carefully examining every possible hiding place, he shrugged his sense of impending doom off as just annoyance at the wasted training time. He went back to his desk and sat down.
There was a crash and suddenly Orochimaru found himself being hurtled by his hair toward a wall. He repositioned his body, only to find at the last minute a sharp pain in his face as some object was rammed into it at high speeds. Thrown off kilter, he smashed into the wall, leaving a crack as he fell onto the ground.
He quickly got up, hissing as he rose on quacking knees. "Mah fash, yoh bashtard, vat dad yoh dah toh mah fash! He screamed trough his disfigured month at the empty room. His danger senses rose up again, and out of the blue two invisible arms grabbed his fingers, put a foot into his back, and pulled back. A deafening crack was heard as almost every bone in his arms was broken at once, before he was once again tossed into a wall.
Orochimaru's tongue lashed out, his sword shooting toward the place he had just been attacked from. But in mid air his tongue was grabbed, and twisted into several knots before being pulled on, sending him feet first into another wall.
His danger senses quieted down suddenly, as the door burst open to reveal several worried Junín and Kabuto. "Oh my god, Master!" Kabuto ran forward and started applying medical jutsu to the bleeding barely recognizable mass of flesh that was Orochimaru. "All of you that know some medical jutsu help out! And one of you get subject 45g from the dungeon, we don't have enough time to get Sauske!" Kabuto's orders were followed immediately, as several medic nins ran into the room to help elongate the time they could take to get him a new body.
Orochimaru grunted before stuttering, " he will pay, he will pay…" and he continued until "45g" was brought in, and soon the condition of his old body wasn't a problem.
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"Do we have any idea who the hell that person was?" Tsunade said in her normal calm voice, but inside, she was scared. Nothing that powerful should exist in this world. The Kyubi at least was huge as well as powerful, so you could see it coming. But invisibility, that was different. Judging from the descriptions used by Jiraya's source, the attacker had hands, and possibly feet, like a normal human. But even thinking of a human who could beat a kage down without even letting them get a hit in, or being seen, that was just horrible.
"I believe that we know of someone else of similar power Hokage." The council looked over to Hiashi as he spoke. He looked slightly paler then usual, and beads of sweet were starting to form on his brow. "I believe he was called Srick, the fo, Naruto's teacher. He was able to defeat Kisame with no effort, so maybe he is also behind the attack on Orochimaru. Just another reason we should consider his re-acceptance."
"What is going on with Naruto?" Jiraya had gone from serious to puzzled, and was looking at Hiashi with a rather startled face. "And what do you mean by re-acceptance, is he here somewhere?"
Tsunade quickly summed up all they had talked about previously, and Jiraya smiled. "I knew the little brat wouldn't betray us, did he say how to contact him?"
"Yes, he listed instructions on this sheet of paper, but you are not going to like them." She handed him the sheet, and after reading it over he started reading. "To show that you are in fact accepting my proposal, I would like two things to happen. The first, someone must decorate the Hokage monument with paint, like what I used to do. The second piece is that either Jiraya wears a frilly pink dress for a day, and goes around in it, or Tsunade goes around wearing the big Hokage hat. Once I have seen two of those things, I will present myself to Tsunade within 24 hours." Jiraya stopped reading, and sniffed the paper. "No, don't smell any drugs, I think he might be serious.
"This kid has got to be high on something, are you seriously going to accept his demands?" Edward stood up. "I can't take this, I'm going now. Several council members left with him.
"Well then Jiraya, what do you say to getting to that monument?"
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That was fun.
Sorry for several bits of confusion that have showed up, but I think they will all be solved later.
I hope.
Review please, it lets me know that someone has actually read this.