A Halloween Tale
Hey! It's Kit here and I'm writing a fic with my friend Taka. Its fairly based on a dream she had, and she told me and I loved it! So I begged her to write a fic with me, and we popped in a couple extra jokes and what do you know? Perfect fan fic material, that's what I'm talking about!
Summary: Snape has a daughter that popped out of nowhere one day, and they decide to go to a Halloween party. Based on the past, when Ron, Hermione and Harry were just babies! What will happen when Snape goes to the party dressed as a clown? What mischief will be created? Read to find out!
Disclaimer- we do not own Harry Potter, nor does Snape have a kid. But it's our story, so leave it alone! Starts to cry… We don't own McDonalds, or the swiffer wet jet either, though we wish we did.
………………………
One day, Snape was sitting with his daughter Sarah, when he got his mail by owl delivery. One letter said that a Halloween party was being held that very night! It was at Hogwarts too! Oh how excited Snape was, to be getting an invitation!
"Well," He sneered, "We must think of some costumes."
So Snape got up and started to sow. (Because everyone knows, he is excellent at housework). Soon, Snape was finished with Sarah's pink bunny costume.
He pulled it over her small head and brushed out her black hair, putting it in pigtails.
"Oh, how cute!" He squealed.
Then he started on a perfect costume for himself; one that would match his eyes perfectly. (Well every colour of the rainbow, will certainly match his eyes!)
"Oh, what to do?" he said slowly, putting on the wig that had many shades of red, purple, blue and green in it. His hair stuck out from the bottom, giving it a slight tinge of black. "Do you want a HAPPY MEAL, Sarah?" He asked, eyes bulging.
Sarah stared blankly.
"I'll take that as a yes! That Ronald McDonald is quite a character!" He said happily, clapping his hands together, as he shoved the rest of his yellow suit with white cotton ball buttons, on himself. He slipped on the little red high-heels and clapped them together saying, 'There's no place like McDonalds…' (Wait, wrong story!) Never mind, he put on his red shoes that fit his feet abnormally perfectly (Which makes no sense at all) and took swift strides over to Sarah and plucked her off the ground.
That was it. They were off to McDonalds!
………………..
At McDonalds, Sarah giggled happily, when she saw a flesh-eating clown (Ronald McDonald) come over to her and her father.
Snape looked over to Ronald McDonald and jumped aback.
"Who are you, you hot mama?" Asked Ronald McDonald.
Snape screamed and looked around to see if he was speaking to anyone else. No. He wasn't.
Sarah and Snape exchanged looks and ran in the opposite direction, while Ronald tried to slap Snape's arse, while he followed closely behind his behind.
"We must get to Hogwarts!" Snape yelled.
They jumped on a broom and flew away, while Ronald was kneeling on the ground, ugly face in hands, crying his giant deep-fried heart out. "My love! Where have you been all my life?" He asked, after them.
………………….
When Snape arrived at the party, everyone was dressed up. McGonagol was in a Sasquatch suit, walking around and mingling as Snape drooled over her furry, slick, up-tight, body.
Dumbledore was dressed in a baby suit, completed with soothers. All he was wearing was an abnormally large diaper that seemed to be drooping in the centre, which Dumbledore swore wasn't a real one…
Filch, was wearing a spandex super-man suit. This outfit was completed with Mrs. Norris (Filch's cat… which he swears isn't more than a friend…) as cat-woman.
There were many other costumes, which we cannot describe, other than Professor Flitwick's impersonation of a female porn-star. (A diamond bikini).
Snape placed his daughter in the baby pen. It was a room, full of babies. (No shit). Then Snape looked over to see Mr. And Mrs. Weasley walk into the party, baby Ron in hands. Two other four year-old redheads followed, known as the Weasley twins Fred and George.
Fred and George started poking a small baby by the name of Neville Longbottom (he has a long bottom) and he started to cry. So Mrs. Weasley picked them up by their ears and threw them out the door (of the baby pen) and said, "You two go to the party and do NOT make any mischief!"
She set Ron down beside a bushy haired baby who seemed to be called (according to the magical nametags that appeared on their shirts) Hermione Granger.
Ron sat there looking at Hermione who seemed to be dressed as a flowery cup, while he was dressed as a fat, little, teapot. A baby wearing glasses (yes Harry is in this story because his parents were never killed until he was one, and he is barely one) crawled over to them, and tried to get tea out of the teapot. Little did he know, there was a baby in there! He was dressed as a lightning bolt (how ironic!).
Ron saw him attempting to drink out of him, so he plucked off the kid's glasses and put them on Hermione who scolded him by pointing a chubby finger in his teapot chest.
………………………
Snape wore a scary smile- excuse me I meant a happy smile –and he was talking away to McGonagol who seemed to be infatuated by his creativity.
Two little redheads squirmed by their legs, giggling softly.
"Fred," George said (they are about four so they can talk).
"Yeah?" Fred answered (in nothing less than an adorable voice).
George smiled. "This punch is too sweet. I brought a large container of that stuff mom and dad were drinking last night, and they seemed to be enjoying themselves. (They were making a redhead named Ginny)." He said.
"Okay, lets pour it in." Said Fred, taking the bottle of vodka from George and opening it with a cork-popper that was conveniently situated on the floor.
So the twins poured it in, but they seemed not to be thirsty after the sweet punch so they walked away.
McGonagol, however, was quite thirsty from her blushing chats with Snape, so she walked over to the punch bowl and grabbed one of the larger sized cups. Pouring the punch into the cup, she swigged it down and began giggling (it works instantly considering they are wizards and it is wizard vodka).
Snape got a cup of punch as well, from sweating it out talking to the beautiful Professor McGonagol. He gulped down the whole thing and began to get a twitch. His head began bobbing up and down to some catchy techno music and he got on the dance floor.
He began doing many variations of the robot and all of the sudden his legs began to twitch uncontrollably. Jumping to the ground, he began to break-dance.
Dumbledore was quite enjoying himself and began to clap along with the other parents and teachers who were clapping to the beat.
……………….
Sarah crawled (with much effort) over to Seamus Finnegan who dropped his soothers and began to cry. She didn't like the noise at all, so she popped it back into his mouth (more like shoved it) and smiled as he started to suck on it once again.
She then crawled over to a little boy (Neville Longbottom) who was wearing a Ronald McDonald outfit. (Which seems to be poking up everywhere!) She blushed and kissed his chubby little cheeks.
Just then a swiffer wet get strolled by (magically of course) and began to clean peoples socks. After a while, all of the babies' socks smelled like apples.
A small blond boy began to cry because his lucky socks had been cleaned. His name was Draco Malfoy. He was wearing a fairy princess costume and holding a flag in one hand, which had 'my little pony' on it and in the other he held a wand (fake of course) with a star on it that had the brand name 'Barbie' on it.
(A/N: We do not own 'Barbie' or 'My Little Pony')
His outfit was also completed with pink tutu and the whole set of fairy Barbie's from the 'Magical Me: Lockhart' selection. He cried as he fixed his wings (that were also part of the costume: No worries, he didn't sprout them overnight) and they looked kind of worn out, which was very odd.
Sarah walked over (crawled, sorry) to Draco and began to play Barbie's with him, while Crabbe and Goyle (dressed as the Backstreet boys (which we do not own) Howie and A.J.) watched intently, longing to join in the fun.
(We still can't believe Malfoy is sharing his Barbie's! We guess he knows that when another person is dressing them up in their high-heels and dresses, it can be all that much more fun, considering they can help you match the baby blue skirt with that adorable purple top… don't forget the pink shoes, Draco!)
…………………..
Everyone was lying on the floor, when Dumbledore jumped up and dragged Filch and Snape with him. He used his wand to change the catchy pop tune, to a familiar song in which all three of them started to sing.
"At first I was afraid, I was petrified!" Dumbledore sang.
Snape grabbed onto his arm and piped in, "Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side."
Filch put on his 'Frank Sunatra' voice, and called back, "But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong and I grew strong!"
All three of them sang, "And I learned how to get along and now your…"
All of the parents hung onto their last breath, waiting for the punch line! (Considering the punch was what made them so drunk… P.s. we do not own Frank Sunatra but we want to for a night, what does he look like anyways?) (As well, too bad no one had a video camera, this would be number one on the music video charts from their performance… or it could just go on America's funniest home video's (which we do not own) and earn us a lot of money)
Then the three took a deep breath and sang into the silence, "BACK! From outer space! I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face! (Or something like that) I should have changed that stupid lock; I should have made you leave your key (at this point, Filch took out his giant key ring and started twirling around shaking them (cape flowing behind him))
"If I had known for just one second, you'd be back to bother me!"
Snape took lead at this point, "Oh no, not I! I WILL SURVIVE! As long as I know how to love (makes eyes at McGonagol) than I know I'll stay alive!"
Dumbledore took lead. " 'Cause I've got all my life to live, and I've got all my love to give, I will survive…"
Silence rung in the room and their voices became soft and echoed as all three of them sang, "I will survive… Hey, HEY!"
Everyone broke out in clapping and catcalls (which Filch enjoyed a lot) and they took bows as chocolate frogs and flowers were thrown onstage.
…………..
The party ended sadly as the clock struck twelve (many brooms had become pumpkins at this time, for some other weird reason).
Snape kissed McGonagol on the cheek and she giggled with giddiness as she hopped onto her pumpkin and it flew away. He then walked over to his daughter and picked her up.
"Did you have fun, Sarah?" He asked.
She nodded.
Snape smiled and answered, "Good." He then flew away on his broomstick, with a sleeping Sarah in his arms.
…………….
"That had to be the best party we've been to, George" Fred said.
George laughed. "It was the ONLY party we've ever been to."
"I like parties." Fred stated.
George smiled. "Yes, mischief is fun!"
The two nodded and so it began, the twin's mischief streak. (I bet you didn't know you were going to learn in this story, MUAH HA HA HA HA HA!)
……………………
Hello again! We hope you enjoyed our story as much as we did. Please read and review, about our crazy thoughts and dreams.
P.s. Don't get us wrong; we still love everyone from Harry Potter, especially little boys in teapots (Ron Weasley) and other little boys who play with Barbie's (aka. GI Joes, in frilly dresses) and just for your information, they are action figures, not Barbie's (Draco wanted us to make that very clear) so you know, we didn't mean to insult anyone.
Bye! From your friends,
Kit and Taka!