There's a clock counting down the rest of time.
Little boys and girls can not be tried for crimes until they are twelve years old. They cannot tell right from wrong, or so the story goes.
Mikami had never believed it.
There was is inbetween, no development of right or wrong, no bettering of the self. There is only evil and there is only good, and one suffocates the other. Countless times, he has seen it, courts attempting to reform and change the evil. But evil cannot be changed, it is thick, it is eternal, it permeates and oozes and demands to be heard. The world is a plaything for evil's doing, and good suffers because of it.
There is only one God.
There... was only one God.
He was on the floor, he couldn't breathe, he was struggling like a noose was round his neck.
His fingers tangled in his hair, but he can barely feel it. Nothing feels real any more, all if it is just a hazy, black dream.
It had been divine justice.
It had been all a lie.
He wailed, whimpered, broke in two. He was writhing on the floor of his cell, the clock on the opposite wall counting down the rest of time. He deserved to r..rot here for all eternity, deserved to be damned, cut down like the hundreds and hundreds he'd struck out beneath his hand.
"K..KIRA," he wailed, prompting a moan to pass through the nearer cell blocks. Someone asked why he hadn't been given a muzzle. Mikami rolled on the floor, dirt and grime scattered by the brush of his hair.
"Why have you forsaken me?" he was whispering now. Tying his fingers around one another, he began to shake violently. "Where are you?" He pounded a fist on the floor,"You... you were supposed to be a GOD."
He was no agent of good, no force for the bettering of the world, no triumphant shepherd weeding the wolves from the lambs. He was scum, he was a piece of evil, he was tainted and there WAS NO GOD.
Opening his eyes, he saw a little beetle crawling beneath his bed.
He stayed totally still, silence eating up his mind.
It had six legs and a shiny back. It moved slowly and delicately. It had no sense of morality, no sense of justice, no sense of right or wrong. All it did was crawl, one foot after the other, in search of food. It was unproductive, it was robotic, it was an empty shell of a life.
Mikami had never envied something so much.
The shadows started to move. Mikami rolled over, seeing a guard standing over him, telling him to get up.
"You're going to die in a month," he said, close to giggling. "Don't cry." Mikami's eyes shifted, he shuddered, feeling cold.
"I said, get up," the guard repeated, tapping his foot against the bars.
"By being eliminated, you can let something beautiful grow in your place." Mikami clutched at his face, rubbing his cheek against the ground. "It's okay." He was laughing now, a choked, gurgling sort of laugh. "Evil must be deleted." Reaching out, Mikami gripped one of the bars. Dragging his head up, he grinned weakly towards the guard. "So that good may flourish. There is no... need to question."
The door of his cell was forced open. Mikami laughed, sputtering and giggling. He rolled on the ground, gathering dirt. He was grabbed - prompting a sharp intake of breath that sounded more like a squeal, and then he was shoved towards his bed. Curling up against the wall where he was thrown, he stared out at the world and saw and heard and felt nothing.
"I see now, there is no... no god, there is only good and evil and there is no absolute. There is no divine judgement, only the judgement of men, only the judgement of us."He reached up, placing his hands on his chest. Everything felt tight. Everything seemed loose."I... I did as I wished. I followed Evil and was taken in with it."
He saw vague flashes of his mother, of a little bit of good being destroyed for the sake of progression. This was the opposite. He was a little piece of good who had been swallowed by evil, swallowed by Kira and spat out as tarnished and broken and bad. Bad. Bad. Bad, he could hear his mother's scoldings of other children, his own ramblings, of words bubbling into a great wealth of nothing.
He felt weak, his eyes were rolling back into his head.
"There is no god, there is no god, there is no god," he wailed and laughed and shrieked all at once.
Ha ha.. ha...
He couldn't breathe he couldn't breathe there was a pain in his chest he was dying he was dying this was the end the clock was counting the clock was counting the clock was counting and he was laughing.
"Delete..." he began whispering, "Deltedeletedelte" He clutched his chest, willing as hard as he could. "DeletedeletedeleteDELETEDELETE." He gasped, throwing his arms out and hearing them thud against the sides of his cell. He looked up to the world, up to a god that no longer existed, up to a clock that was counting down.
He was the wolf, cutting himself down for the lamb.
He was the tree, giving himself up for the bridge.
He was the un-divine, letting himself go for justice.
He smiled and let the world go out in a blur.