Disclaimer: I do not own DB/Z/GT in anyway shape or form. Sadly, just amongst the many who wished they did.
My musings were cut short at the sound of rapidly crunching grass behind me. With each of her hasty steps I could feel my mood growing darker, urging me to either leave right now, or attack as i've contemplated doing so for months now.
"Goku! What the hell are you doing on the roof—the roof!—for God's sake? If you have time to lie around like a useless pile of trash, then you also have time to get rid of it. I can't believe I have to do everything in this home, bringing home fish doesn't exactly cut it anymore Goku!" ranted my ever loving wife, panting from the effort she placed into making sure I finally heard her this time.
Sighing I pick myself up and use my ki to levitate down to her. "Look Chi-Chi, I'm sorry for missing out on the house work, i'm not purposely leaving it for you to take care of, I just need time outdoors to clear my head. You don't have to be so rude." I say as I start walking back home.
Following me she splutters, "You need time? Oh the world's savior who's been home for the past 10 years doing nothing but goofing off with Goten, Pan and God knows who else, needs time. Not his wife of nearly thirty years whose done everything she can to provide for her husband and two kids, oh no, it's you who needs the break."
Gritting my teeth with every word that makes itself past Chi-Chi's lips I abruptly turn around and glare down at her. "Tell me, exactly, what it is you want from me Chi-Chi. I know it's not the housework, but you've seemed to have forgotten that. I worked my ass off trying to make sure life for you and the boys would be comfortable after I was gone those seven years, I got jobs, but they weren't good enough. I did house work but it was never good enough, I even caught you a couple of times awake after everyone had gone to bed re-cleaning everything I already had done earlier that day." Pausing I look awake before inhaling in some much needed air. Looking back at my wife she stares at me as though I've committed some type of atrocity. "Don't look at me like that Chi-Chi, you of all people know it's true. Nothing I ever do is good enough in your eyes. I've come to believe I'm just not good enough for you."
Startled by my last claim she frowns, her cheeks turning a pale shade of red as her fists tighten and her eyes focus on mine. Her voice is angry as she replies, "If you know you aren't good enough for me, then why haven't you done anything to change it? For the past four years you've been spending all your time outside, not even being able to use Goten as an excuse seeing as he comes home before you do, and he actually has a future for himself! So what the fuck are you doing out there all those hours? You don't bring home any money, you don't do anything for the house, and you don't spend time with your family— no! do not interrupt me. Sure, you spend time with all of us one–on-one, but never as a family any more. Not even your so-called friends! After Bra was born and we went to congratulate Bulma and Vegeta, nobody ever sees you! When I told Bulma about me hardly seeing you she went as far as to get Vegeta to ask Dende what the hell you do during your days but the he refused! No one can sense your energy until you're here at home, otherwise it's just like the seven years you were gone. I end up catching myself thinking 'What was the point of Goku even coming back?'" Tears start forming in her eyes before they eventually make their way down her cheeks. "Do you know what a disappointment this marriage has been Goku? We met when we were just twelve years old, but I knew at that moment that you would be the one for me. I honestly think I fell in love with you right then. That could be the only explanation as to why I trained so hard for six years before facing off against you in the World Martial Arts Tournament. Then when you proposed to me, I didn't think I'd ever be as happy as I was in that moment. There was an entire arena full of people cheering for us, but all I saw and heard was you, I knew you had been my world for the past six years, and that moment re-enforced that belief." By this time she started crying full-heartedly, gasps taking over her speech.
I ignored the first part of her statement, not wanting to start another of our usual arguments."Chi-Chi… I'm sorry I'm not who you thought I'd be. I didn't even know what the word marriage meant let alone what goes into having a good one. You say you loved me from the moment you met me, but I think that's what has made things so hard on you."
At this her face grew confused, her large dark brown eyes glistening from her tears. "What?"
Looking away I take a few seconds to choose the way I'll phrase my words, noticing that the wind was growing colder and the sky darker. "Chi-Chi, you loved me that instant because of who you thought I was. I was just a kid who helped you and your father out as I was only able to. You took a "proposal" on my part at the age of twelve as a sign of my undying love for you and sought me out after preparing yourself to be my wife for six years. Now be honest, was I what you'd imagined I'd be like all that time?"
Drying her tears she gave a soft smile, one that looked beautiful on her face, as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "Not even close. You were so naïve and didn't understand anything I wanted you to. You were so fascinated by nature and never wanted to go into the city with me, unless it was to go to some buffet we'd get kicked out of 'cause of your bottomless pit. You've always had all these muscles, yet here I was doing all the work for both of us. I didn't mind though, since I thought that's what being a good wife was. Same with teaching you what you didn't know, it felt nice being able to be there for you."
Giving her a smile of my own I move in closer, placing my arms around her small shoulders. "I always appreciated that about you. You never had too much time for me, it made me love you." Slowly removing my arms from her I look down into her eyes. "But… it didn't make me love you the same way you've loved me Chi-Chi."
Her eyes widen before she gasps and backs away from me, "Wait… what? What did you just say to me?"
Feeling my nerves fray I take a large inhale of breath before stating, "I'm sorry. I hadn't realized until the past couple of years that I'd always loved you the same way as I do Gohan and Goten. I didn't understand that there were different types of loves until I spent time in Otherworld amongst the other souls. I… I thought I knew what it was, but I didn't."
Shaking her head back and forth, the tears that were previously scrubbed from her eyes return. "How do you know that? How!? How can you say something like that, without so much as a care? How… how can you just continue to break my heart? "
Her words shook me. As much as what I was saying was the truth, I couldn't doubt that despite the turmoil our marriage had been though the past couple of years, she truly was in love with me. I didn't want to hurt her unnecessarily, but remembering that same turmoil, knowing no matter what I did that our marriage didn't get better and feeling myself growing resentful... I knew I had to go on.
"I'm sorry Chi-Chi." Gulping the lump that suddenly formed in my throat I forced the words out slowly, "After being around so many people in love both in Otherworld and even here back home, like with Gohan and Videl or 18 and Krillin those times we saw them… I understood that what I felt for you wasn't romantic."
Sniffling as she wiped her nose she searched my face. "How… how do you know though? How do you know what you felt for me wasn't romantic. You've never been with anyone else, so what do you have to compare it to? I used to wonder whether you loved me the way I love you, but once I saw Vegeta and Bulma get together, I thought I'd hit the jackpot. I mean between the two of you, I've always said he's the more reliable husband, but you're the sweet one… at least you used to be. Up until Vegeta I never really had anyone else to compare you to, before we found out you were a saiyan, we lived too far from anyone else to really see any working or failing relationships, and then out of all our friends, we were the only married ones. But then, when I saw how Bulma and Vegeta got along, I figured I shouldn't wonder anymore and be happy with what I have."
Funny, she hated, and I mean hated it when I started sparring with him a few years back, because I'd make a whole day out of it and sometimes brouhght the kids along. We fought so much over it I eventually had to stop, which I knew I'd instantly regret, but I only saw Vegeta once a week for those spars while I had to actually live with Chi-Chi. After that I started trying to take her out instead but she never wanted to, except to go to Bulma's or Roshi's. If she saw Vegeta there she would glare at him and then at me, as if we were doing everything in the world possible to turn her life upside down. She couldn't stand him. So for her to compare me to Vegeta as a form of reassuring herself of my love for her is completely ironic."Look Chi-Chi, you wondered for a reason and that was your heart telling you you weren't happy. I can't really be compared to anyone, nobody should. I have a brain injury making me forget the way I'm "supposed" to be, so I don't act like the other saiyans I've met. I only knew one person till I was 12 and that was my Grandpa Gohan, who happened to be killed by me, which I didn't find out about till years later. I grew up alone Chi-Chi. I see the world differently. I still don't even understand humans. I don't know how to become attached like you guys. I love you, but I don't feel like I need you in my life to be happy, and I'm not saying that to be harsh, it's the truth. I… don't fit in with the lifestyle you want. You need someone who can and wants to give you all you want and more. You deserve it."
"Just shut up with all the 'dont's' already! We can still work this out! If I deserve it than you should be the one to give it to me! I love you, you Goku! No one else! I never have!" she yelled as she ran up to me, eventually fisting her hands in my gi top and forcing my tossing down to have me meet her at eye level. I gradually bring my hands up to her hips and rub my thumbs against the fabric of her dress. "I know you love me Chi-Chi, but that doesn't make this relationship alright. It's not fair to either of us. I can't force myself to feel something I haven't in thirty years, I just can't and I'm honestly sorry for that. And you... you can't continue to wait for it to happen." I lean in and brush my lips against her forehead as she closes her eyes.
Moments pass before I finally hear, "It's just not fair Goku. I feel as though I've been in this relationship alone. Listening to you say you never even felt anything remotely close to what I feel for you is just rubbing salt on my wounds."I eventually feel her warm tears through my top as she crushes herself to me, her hold tight. "Tell me then… is this the end? Is our marriage over Goku?" she asks as her frame starts to shake.
"I… yes." I whisper as I try to run my hands up her back, in an effort to offer us both some comfort in what feels like a surreal event just took place. She pushes against me however, forcing me to back away and look at her broken expression.
As she backs away I notice that it is more difficult to make out the tears running down her face, night will be here soon, we'd been talking longer than I'd realized. Her scream startles me.
"Then go! Go! If you're going to leave me, then leave for good! It won't make a difference since you're never here anyway! Leave me and my family alone! Don't you dare come back Goku!" With that she pushes past me and runs back home.