Disclaimer I don't own Dragonball Dragonball Z or Dragonball Super each are respectfully owned by Toriyama

The power to cause pain is the only power that matters, the power to kill and destroy, because if you can't kill then you are always subject to those who can, and nothing and no one will ever save you.

ORSON SCOTT CARD,Ender's Game

Gohan has been through alot of shit in his life and to tell you the truth he was finally reaching his breaking point. From being kidnapped by a monsterous star obsessed psychopath abducted by his alien uncle and having an overwhelming mother who pushed her dreams onto him and a foolish father who sought nothing more then a good fight.

Gohan could honestly say he was fucked up...why you don't believe him? let's look deeper into this then shall we.

His wife was almost a carbon copy of his mother and day by day he looked in the mirror and wondered why he could never escape either women's clutches the only reason she became his love interest was through blackmail slander and the very fact that Son Chichi liked her...oh you wanna look deeper into it?

Videl's own father Hercule Satan (fitting name if you ask me) wasn't much better in comparison he lied to the world about who truly defeated Cell spitting on the sacrifice of not only the android 16 but his father and Trunks too.

Gohan looked outside as he watched his wife play with his child happily,oh so happily. But underneath he knew the truth he was Son Gohan the fucked up son of Goku and Chichi an aspect pounded into his head for years on end.

It had always lingered in the back of his mind how differently his mother treated him in comparison to Goten.

"Hey Mom can I go outside and play with Icarus?"Pleaded a younger Gohan as his mother gave him a stern look "No Gohan you aren't gonna become a slacker like your bum of a father now get back to your studies"dejected and sad the demi-saiyan did just that.

"Hey Mom! i'm gonna go play with Trunks ok!"Gohan observed his hyper little brother as Chichi giggled and ruffled his hair "Sure Goten just be back in time for dinner"Grinning the youngest son of Goku saluted his mother before running off.

Shaking slightly and resting his hand on the arm of his chair he pondered the many deaths he witnessed before he even went through puberty.

"Goodbye Tien"Was the last thing heard as an explosion rocked the battlefield "NO CHIAOTZUUUUU!" Gohan flinched as he watched the events transpire

A young Gohan starred in horror tears in his eyes threatening to fall at any moment as he kneeled at the smoking body of Piccolo "Gohan...your the only real friend i've ever had...Thank you...I'm proud of you...Wish me back ok?...get em..Gohan...

"KRILLIN!" Screamed Gohan in terror as he watched the monk get his chest impaled by Frieza who looked amused as he licked the blood from his lips

"FRIEZA STOP THIS!" His father screamed as they watched terrified as Krillin was lifted into the air "AHHH GOKUUUU!" the following explosion would haunt him always.

"Gohan, let it go. It is not a sin to fight for the right cause. There are ones who words alone will not reach. Cell is such a being. I know how you are Gohan. You are gentle, you do not like to hurt. I know because I too have learned these feelings, but it is because you cherish life, that you must protect it." 11 year old Son Gohan watched in horror as Cell squashed the head of android 16 "Hmph I was wondering when that talking piece of trash would shut up." Something in the boy had snapped.

He remebered feeling the pain and the hopelessness such hurt that doesn't go away the rage that constantly drove him to madness throughout his life was but a stepping stone to enduring all of it.

Piccolo knew how he felt he was the only one he could confide to when it all just became to much.

"Gohan...Your wife is worried about you"Said the Namekien as he floated over the mountain where his student sat. Gohan had his eyes closed as a frown marred his face "Piccolo...I need a break...all she ever wants is for me to follow her every command and i'm tired...tired of all the drama...tired of all the expectations...i'm just one person" Piccolo sighed and softly rested his hand on Gohan's shoulder

"I know kid, But your daughter needs you"He calmly said as Gohan clenched his fist "Piccolo what have I ever done in life to get to this point?...am I just not good enough?...is it because i'm weak...or am I just the joke of the God's" glared the demi-saiyan as the earth born Namekien shook his head "Your one of the strongest people I know kid" staring at him in confusion" H-huh? what do you mean Piccolo?"

"Because anyone who could go through even half the things you did is either a strong person or a fool." Staring at him angrily Gohan replied "But you went through the same thing!" Glaring at him the Namek swiftly answered "Wrong! me and the others are adults you on the other hand was nothing but a child at the time! everything you went through would break a normal man and drive him to insanity yet here you are strong as ever and ready to continue!" Gohan sadly looked down tear falling from his eye"Piccolo...i'm not strong"

"That's a lie." The green man replied bluntly as Gohan glared"No it's not! a day doesn't go by where I don't think about giving up!" He crossed his arms and folded his arms calmly "But do you?" Gohan was quiet unable to answer that "You are strong Gohan and it's because of who you are that you just can't bare to give up on seeing the good in people...a trait you get from your idiotic father no doubt."Smirked the Namek as Gohan softly chuckled before turning into full blown laughter

Mr Piccolo...your right...even now you understand...thank you for being my first friend too...

Gohan sighed burying the memory as he stood up and slowly walked outside towards the women he called a wife and the child he fathered with her throwing on a slightly less fake smile.

This was his life and he would have to live with it.

A/N Done slightly because I was bored and in a bad mood might continue but don't get your hopes up