K: MERRY CHRISTMAS: ) A little present for all of you! Enjoy!
Truth and Love
By: K
Remus'POV
/His wonderful midnight black hair. Long, wild. It flies around in the wind.
Grey eyes looking back at me. It feels like I'm drowning in these stormy depths.
He moves closer. Lips curved in an honest, truthful smile.
I hold my breath. My heart is pounding, racing.
My eyes slit close and soon I feel our lips brush over each other.
His hands roaming over my body. Caressing my back, my shoulders. Rustling through my hair.
We pull apart. Smiling. His soft breath on my face. My hand in his. His eyes taking in every detail of my face.
My lips forming his name. Beautiful name. It shines forever in my memory. Just like the star. Bright. True. Mine…
Sirius./
I slowly wake up. Sighing when I realize that it was again a dream. I shake my head. How could I even think it could be real? He will never be mine… He's straight. As straight as can be… And even if he wasn't, he could never love me. Never. Firstly, he's my friend. My best friend, and I would hate to lose him. Therefore, I cannot tell him. Secondly, who could ever love me? I mean, come on, you're talking about a werewolf… Nobody loves such a dark creature. Nobody loves someone whose body is marred with scares…
I smile sadly. My friends all know what I am. And they didn't abandon me. No, far from it in fact. They became animagni… For me… To help me during the full moon. And I love them all for it. In fact, it had been Sirius' idea… Wild, careless Sirius. I started to love him even more after that. That's why I forgave him so easily after that stupid prank with Snape.
"Come on! Time to get up! We're gonna miss breakfast…"
I smile and sit up in my bed.
"Honestly Sear… You're going to come back in food one day…"
A soft chuckle escapes my lips. Both boys turn their head in my direction.
"Well Jamie, looks like dear Remmy is finally awake…"
I gulp when I see their grins. Mischief written all over their faces. I try to get out of my bed as soon as possible, but the two of them are faster. In a second they are sitting on my bed, one on each side of me. I smile nervously. What are they up to? Suddenly four hands start to tickle me. I'm squirming, trying to avoid teasing fingers. No such luck… I try to hold back my laughter, but it isn't working. And soon tears are rolling down. My arms holding my stomach. "Mercy! Mercy!"
I can see the smile on James' face and the little pout Sirius makes.
"Spoiling my fun now are you?"
They jump off the mattress, allowing me to get up and get dressed.
How I would love to feel those fingers caress my skin. Like in my dreams. Just him and me. Alone…
I sigh softly.
"Are you okay Remus?"
Clearly not soft enough…
I turn my head and smile.
"Sure, why not?"
They're still looking at me and I roll my eyes.
"Believe it or not guys, it's the truth."
I look away again and the smile flatters. 'Not…'
"If you say so Rem…
Well, come on, I'm starving…"
James and I both roll our eyes and follow our friend to the Great Hall. Ready for another wonderful day.
-----
I'm alone in the Dorm. Sirius and James have Quidditch Training.
I let myself fall on my bed. Why? Why can't I get him out if my head? What has he done to control my thoughts like this. He seems to be the only thing I can think of these days.
I groan softly. My mind flying back to the past hours.
/Transformation Class. McGonagall was showing us how to change crystal water in the finest wine. Not that difficult. Certainly not fore us. I mean, they managed to become Animagni… The became experts in Transformation…
Well, when McGonagall was busy explaining what we had to do, and how, Sirius and James were planning a prank for Snape. Again…
Everybody got half an hour to try and change the water to wine. After that, we had a test. In front of the class. We all passed. Our wine was perfect. And than it was Snape's turn. I could see the mischievous grins on their faces. I don't know what exactly they did, but Snape's water suddenly turn green. Than purple, red, yellow, black,… Well, pretty much all colors of the rainbow. Nobody even suspected them. How could they? They hadn't said a word, their wands were not to be seen. It was impossible to suspect them. And then, all of a sudden, the water spouted out of the glass, straight in McGonagall's face. The students tried to hold back their laughter, but a couple of silenced muffles were heard.
Snape failed that test and lost 10 points of Slytherin./
I laugh softly. But it soon turns in a quiet desperate sigh.
"Sirius…" My voice is nothing but a very soft whisper.
"Yeah, what about me?"
I turn abruptly. You're standing there. Still in your Quidditch robes. Broom still in your hand. A questioningly look in your eyes. A serious expressing on your face.
"S-Sirius… Is- Is training over already?" I try to sound casual, but seeing your face, I fail miserable.
"Remus, what's wrong with you? First this morning, and now again? I can tell something bothers you, and don't try to deny it… I know you Remus."
I don't reply. Still staring at you. My mind isn't functioning right.
"So, you're still gonna tell me what's wrong? Or do I need to guess?"
You're voice is soft, caring. But I don't dare tell you. The risk of loosing you… It would be too much to take.
The silence isn't broken and I know that it somehow hurts you that I don't answer. But I can't Sirius. I just can't.
You're still watching me, but I can't bare to look in your eyes. Those beautiful grey orbs. I can't bare to see the hurt in them, the worry…
Damn it! Why does this have to be so hard? I don't want to lose you Siri. I'm so afraid of losing you. And I'm almost certain that I will if I tell you how I feel. If only you could know what I feel for you. It passed the line of friendship a long time ago. What I feel goes so much further than just being friends…
Out of the distance I hear you gasp for breath. And slowly I return to reality.
I look at you. Your eyes wide open, shock written in them. I try to figure out what's wrong with you, and than it hits me.
No!
My face becomes as pale as death, and my eyes widen. Fear clearly written in them.
"No, no, please, don't tell me I said that outloud…" My voice is soft, almost broken.
You just stand there. Staring at me.
I get up and quickly run out of the Dorm. Leaving you behind. Tears start to stream down.
Without looking where I'm going to. I just keep running. Running like the Devil is behind me.
At last I stand still. I look around. Where am I?
Oh yes, right in front of the room of requirement on the seventh floor.
'A room. Just a room' Keeping that in mind, I walk three times past the wall. A door opens and I step inside. Right in time, I hear someone coming.
I close the door and set myself down in a seat. A fire is burning next to me.
My face buried in my hands. I'm still sobbing.
He wasn't allowed to find out. He wasn't allowed to know. What will he think of me now?
"Still the same."
A warm hand on my shoulder.
I tense up and turn my head. Looking in your worried eyes.
"Did I say that outloud again?"
You nod. Smiling gently.
I stand up and turn away from you. My arms around me, as to keep me safe from harm.
"I'm sorry Sirius…"
I hear you step closer. And I close my eyes. Afraid of what's going to come.
And suddenly you wrap your arms around me. Holding me close to you. You whisper softly in my ear.
"Haven't you heard me? If I still think the same of you, would I than be mad at you? Or disgusted? Or anything else like that?
No Remus, you don't have to be sorry. Except for one thing…"
Not wanting to leave your strong arms, I turn my head to look at you. Still afraid. But something in your voice gives me hope. You're smiling. An honest, truthful smile. Like in my dreams.
Your face is so close to mine and I can feel your breath tickle my lips.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
Your lips brush over mine. A feathers touch. You pull away and our eyes lock. Yours are telling me everything. That you felt something more than friendship for me too. That you were scared to ruin our friendship, that you thought I could never love you.
I turn myself in your arms, leaning closer to you. Smiling.
"We were both fools…"
You laugh softly. A sound I have come to love.
"Yes, we were."
The gap between our faces becoming smaller again. Lips meeting. Hands caressing.
A soft moan. I smile.
Finally I can taste you, finally I have you, finally you're mine.
We pull apart. And I start nuzzling your neck.
"I'm yours Remmy… Forever yours. I've always been."
I hold you even closer against me.
"Yes, and I'm yours Siri…"
The end