A/N: I would recommend listening to Mystery Skulls' 'Ghost' while reading - the lyrics had to be removed from the story due to the site's rules.
A few tears rolled down Heinrich's face, a small, sad smile on his lips as he rested his forehead against Feliciano's. Feliciano smiled back up at him, squeezing his hands in an attempt at reassurance. It almost worked. Almost. "Don't worry, Heinrich. I know we'll see each other again, I know we will, I know it." Heinrich couldn't tell who Feliciano was trying to convince. Growing up, Heinrich had wanted nothing more than to leave the Edelstein-Héderváry orphanage. He just wanted a loving family to take him in and give him a warm home to call his own. He had envied the other children who had been taken in by different families, leaving the orphanage hand-in-hand with their new parents and smiles on their faces. He'd had several consoling evenings with miss Elizabeta Héderváry, the head mistress, who had promised him time and time again that, one day, a warm-hearted couple would come and take him in. And, now, that day was here. He was being adopted. He should be happy, Heinrich thought. This is what he always wanted. But, that was before Feliciano. It was all very sudden. One day, a child just around his age had come in. Feliciano. Feliciano, who was so bright and kind and wonderful. Feliciano, who had turned Heinrich's life upside down, and, yet, made everything feel right, for the first time. And, now, that he didn't want to leave, he had to. How horribly ironic. Heinrich took a step back, releasing Feliciano's hands as he did so. Sighing, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Feliciano's forehead, turned away, and, with one last smile, began to head towards his new parents, who were waiting patiently at the gate of the orphanage. Looking up, he took ahold of his parents' hands, images of all those before him who he had bitterly watched leave from the same place running through his mind. They had all seemed so happy, grins lighting up their faces and laughs bubbling past their lips. Heinrich vaguely wanted to feel the same, but, he just couldn't bring himself to. Without looking back, refusing to, Heinrich felt strangely indifferent as he climbed into his parents' car. If he had looked back that day, he would have seen Feliciano being carried away by mister Edelstein, crying.
Heinrich passed through his late childhood and teen days in a haze. He did love his new family; they treated him well, and he had stayed with them. But, even though years had passed, even though he was so young at the time, thoughts of Feliciano filled his mind constantly. He wondered if Feliciano had been adopted. He wondered, if so, if Feliciano's new family was kind and warm and loving and everything Feliciano deserved. If Feliciano was just as Heinrich remembered all too well. If they would never meet again, and he would have to live on distant memories for the rest of his life. If they would meet again and it would be just like they had never been apart. If they would meet again and it would be heart-repairing and mind-boggling and dizzying and dazzling and just perfect. Heinrich knew, somewhere, in the back of his mind, that it was probably very strange to be so attached to someone he had only known, briefly, to most, in his childhood. He could only hope that, in the off-chance that they did meet again, Feliciano would accept him with welcoming and comforting and familiar arms. What Heinrich didn't know, and didn't dare hope, was that they would meet again, soon.
Heinrich hadn't expected it to be like this. He had played out the occurrence tens of times in his mind, twisting and turning the possibilities until they seemed almost fantastical. But nothing his mind could ever come up with could have possibly prepared him for this. It was just another day, really. Heinrich was just heading from the grocery store to his car, his keys in his left hand and a jug of milk in his right. Fumbling with the plastic fob and clanking metal to unlock his door, he happened to glance up, and he could have sworn he felt his heart stop in his chest. Keys and jug falling, forgotten, to the ground, he didn't even notice the milk pooling at his feet. Heinrich blinked his eyes, his mouth gaping open and sweat beading on his forehead, all thought of anything but this moment flying from his mind because there he was. Feliciano was standing right there, not a few yards away, smiling and laughing, just like Heinrich remembered. His hair was the same, that lovely, shining auburn and still that one, wild curl that refused to lie flat. His face was the same, still bright and glowing and seeming to radiate with the sun's warmth. And, when he turned his head, and opened his eyes, Heinrich was not prepared for the intense shock and the rush of heat and the overwhelming longing that those familiar, golden eyes invoked in him, staring at him, first, with confusion, and, then, with realization. And, when Heinrich came back to himself, and realized with a jolt that Feliciano was quickly making his way towards him with the most beautiful smile he had ever seen on his face, what he most certainly had not expected was the tall, muscular, both somewhat angry and bewildered looking man that Feliciano had in tow. Feliciano finally made it to Heinrich and stood right in front of him, either oblivious to or ignoring the puddle of milk at his feet, which Heinrich himself had just noticed. However, he didn't get the chance to speak before Feliciano beat him to it. "Heinrich, is it you?! Oh, it really is you! I don't know what to say! It's been so long! How are you? Do you live around here? Is this your car? Oh, is this your milk that's dropped here? That was probably my fault, wasn't it? I'm sorry, Heinrich! I can buy you a knew gallon, if you want! We'd have time for that, right, Ludwig? Ooh, ooh, Heinrich, this is Ludwig! Ludwig, this is Heinrich! You know, the one I went to the orphanage with!" It was here that Feliciano stopped, probably waiting for Heinrich and Ludwig to greet each other. Ludwig looked just as dazed as Heinrich felt, but, managed to recover quicker. With a small, puzzled shake of his head, he held out his hand. "Ludwig. It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Heinrich. Feliciano's told me a lot about you." Heinrich blinked once more before taking Ludwig's hand and giving it a firm shake. "Heinrich. It's a pleasure to meet you, too, Ludwig." Feliciano cheered happily, immediately going off again. A million thoughts were running through Heinrich's head, and, surprisingly, most of them were not about Feliciano, but about Ludwig. Who was he? More importantly, who was he to Feliciano?
As time passed quickly, once again, Heinrich and Feliciano were making up lost time. Heinrich had learned that Feliciano and Ludwig met each other in high school, and had moved into the area shortly after graduating to go to the local university, that Heinrich would also be attending in the fall. He had also learned that Ludwig was Feliciano's friend. Boyfriend. They were in a relationship. A romantic one. Heinrich tried to be as supportive as he could for Feliciano, and, damn it, he tried his hardest to be somewhat kind towards Ludwig. But, he couldn't help it. This gnawing, burning, treacherous jealousy and anger that twisted and turned in the pit of his stomach was not something he had expected. Really, thinking about it, there were a lot of things that Heinrich hadn't expected. He should be used to it by now.
Heinrich had thought that he wanted nothing more than to be with Feliciano again. But, now, that he was, he really wanted nothing more than to disappear and forget any of this had ever happened. He was, without a doubt, in love with the boy who had walked into the orphanage, that fateful day, that felt like it was a lifetime ago. Hell, to Heinrich, it was. Sitting on the edge of his bed and lowering his head with a humorless laugh, a multitude of thoughts crossed his mind. Of course, Heinrich hadn't told Feliciano how he felt. He probably never would, either. Feliciano was happy with Ludwig, so, why did it matter? Why did any of it matter? Heinrich sighed, pressing his face into his hands as the first few tears started rolling down his face. He cared more for Feliciano's happiness than he did for his own. He only wished that he could go so far as to say that Feliciano's happiness was his happiness. But, if that were true, he wouldn't be feeling this, this constant pain, a pain, so exhausted, that it could no longer feel angry, or vicious, it was simply numb. With silent tears continuing to fall, down, to the floor, Heinrich felt that he had reached an end. Love wasn't supposed to feel like this, right? Right? With this question buzzing in the back of his mind, Heinrich thought about every moment he had spent with Feliciano. Everything they had done together. Every kind word he had ever spoken to him. And, he wondered why it hurt so much.