Disclaimer: I don't own anything (apart from the idea)

Warnings: this is a Harry / Draco one-shot. Don't like tit then go see something else!
What is in italics isn't a song... just some sentences.

Angel Tears

I sat, at the window on that rainy day. Do you remember? That day that changed everything?

It was a year after Voldemorts defeat, and even though I had killed him I still felt that everything wasn't - isn't - finished. I hoped it wasn't, you know I hoped and wished for something, anything, to save me…from me.

Most of the times though, I wished it where you.

You, with that shiny blond hair and the stormy grey clouds you have for eyes. Those fine eyebrows you lift every so often and then… those elegant lips you mock me with.

You did back then…

You still do.

And I wish you wouldn't stop.

So I sat, on the windowsill, the window open to its fullest, letting the freezing drops fall on me and burn and freeze me at the same time.

And Angel tears run down my cheeks and all I see is you.

I still don't know why I cared, back then, what happened to you, to me, but I did, and that's when everything started changing… for me at least. I'm not really sure if you noticed, the change of the way I acted, how I looked at you how I felt.

I know – knew – you hated me then. And I knew I loved you.

Don't ask me how or why or when… I wouldn't – couldn't – answer. It's just… something that changed me, in seventh year. I still remember clearly the day I told you, the day I couldn't hold it any longer, the ignoring, the taunting, the hurt.

And it's you I see, through all of this it's you I long.

The day had been rainy, just like now, just like then. I had followed you out of the great hall. You were expecting me, leaning against the wall, eyes cool and guarded. Your voice had been mocking and cold and I know I had shivered upon hearing it.

"Potter." you spoke and I flinched. It had been said with such calm I thought I would freeze right then and there.

The rain hadn't stopped either for weeks. It was cold. It matched me.

And even if I hold you, you aren't there…

You acted cool. I confessed in an incredible idiotic way, that, yes, I had fallen in love with you. I stuttered and whispered and stumbled upon my words and tried to think of something that would make it all better.

And I stopped talking and looked up at you and you kissed me. It wasn't sweet or passion filled or even felt in any way.

It's was your way of saying: I hate you!

...and I see and touch and I feel stone and ice.

It had been rainy, just like now, just like then.

Months later Hermione died. The curse that had been put upon her had eaten her completely from the inside.

A curse, from your father. You where so proud of him.

Oh look at me as I worship you, and crush me with your leather boots…

Ron killed himself shortly after that.

… and pick me up again so you can throw me into the ice of hate.

I felt alone and you knew it. You took that chance to break me further.

Until I broke completely.

It had been rainy too, just like now, just like then. The weather didn't seem to change. It always was cold and rainy and the smell of thunder lay in the air. It didn't change in winter, in spring… not even summer.

It was my weather, my feelings, my all.

And I wished you wouldn't stop.

So I sat at the window, the drops falling on me burning and freezing me simultaneously, waiting, seeking, hearing… for you?

I didn't know.

And I looked down and there you where, our eyes clashed, stormy grey with emerald green. Even this high up you saw me and I saw you… I hated and loved you for it.

The wind howled, the rain started to fall heavier and denser and I knew soon you'd go inside or I wouldn't be able to see you through the falling water, already blurring my vision.

I wished with all my might you'd stop but continue with your torture.

And you send me your smirk and your eyes said their message before you vanished inside… and I received it and I understood.

I was better of dead.

And so you kill me slowly from the freezing hate...

I stood up and brushed myself. The rain was steady, the droning of it heavy on my ears reminding me of angry bees the sound stretched and dulled and… god it was loud.

I looked down again to see if you maybe came out again to say, scream… indicate me something more and only noticed that the floor under the window was pretty far down and not mud or earth but stone.

I turned my back to it and let myself fall back.

And so you kill me fast from the force of hate…

It was rainy that day, just as it is now, just as it has always been.

While Angel tears stream down my face.

Kitty

A/N: I think you know that the last bit means Harry killed himself!

Review?

Kitty