Title: Cry
Authoress: Tarallynne Moon
Rating: R/NC-17
Written For TSS Challenge: Howl and Growl We'll make this simple. Sex in the Shrieking Shack. How did you think it really got its name?
Warnings: Slash, some boy sex, angst, some comfort, fluff, songfic... and a tinymentionof tapdancing!Lucius!
Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling and her various publishing companies. I do not claim to own them, nor am I making any profit from the stories I randomly come up with. This fanfiction is purely for entertainment and should not be taken seriously!
Summary: Sirius finds out Remus' lycanthropic secret, and puts on a bit of a performance for him.
Archiving: The Silver Snitch, possibly AFF, my LJ, and anywhere else my inspiration/muse- Keikokin suggest I post. If you want it, just ask.
Pairings: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Notes: This story was inspired by Keikokin, who gave me many wonderful ideas for this. I thank her greatly, as always, for being a wonderful muse and an even better friend. I also want to thank Cameowitch and Knightmare for inspiration, even though they may not know they have contributed. Of course, if this story completely bombs, that's all my fault.
The Astronomy Tower was cold and dark in the evening as the sun set, and the crescent moon began to rise. A small figure lay curled in the corner sobbing, tawny hair and amber eyes shone in the moonlight as the shivering body huddled in on himself for warmth, tears falling in pain and grief and fear.
Pain. The transformations. The bone-crushing, heart wrenching, breath halting pain of reconstruction, of recreation. Pain. Mind-blowing, unstoppable pain.
Grief. Why? Why did this happen? What had he done to deserve this? Why could he not stop this... this... nightmare? This horrible reality? Cruel Reality.
Fear. What if they knew? No, no one could ever know. They'd never trust him. Never accept him. Never want him. Sirius would never want him. No, he wouldn't let that happen. He couldn't let that happen.
He needed it all to stop. He staggered to the edge of the tower, drunk in his sorrow. He lay there, weeping softly, screaming inwardly to end it! Let it all stop!
It was quiet. Too quiet, according to one Sirius Black. It was cold, and dark in the boy's dorms, and... something was missing. Something...
Remus.
They had finally started to get along, after much pushing from their mutual friend, James. Sirius had always thought of him much the same way he had thought of Peter. Just another person there. No real interest in that, really. Remus was into books, and he was smart, and that's all Sirius knew about him. Up until recently, anyway.
Now, things were different, to say the least. Sirius learned a lot about his new friend over the past few months. He was witty, and observant, and... fun! He knew how to prank 'em like any marauder should, and they had spent many nights up late to talk. Just... talk.
But... he wasn't here.
Sirius rose, of his body's own volition, took James' cloak, and left to find his friend.
Softly muted sobs, carefully masked hiccupping; Sirius could almost feel the warmth of the saltine tears he saw cruising down his friends flushed face. His heart broke at the sight of the weeping young man poised on the ledge of the tower, shaking violently as the sobs racked his slight frame. His own deep grey eyes turned stormy as passion and tears reflected in his fathomless orbs.
He saw the deeply set scars in Remus' lightly bronzed flesh, saw the bruises surrounding his every muscle and bloodied joints. And suddenly... he understood. The proverbial 'click' was sounded and the lightbulb was lit above his shaggy main of midnight tresses. 'Why hadn't I noticed before?' he wondered idly. 'All the days he had been sick, all the pained and sick expressions he wore and I never knew... why? Why hadn't I known... Why hadn't he told me?' he wondered, broken by the form before him.
"Remus..."he choked on the name as it escaped his trembling lips. It was enough, however, to alert the werewolf to his presence.
"Siri?" Remus sobbed fearfully. "No, you can't see me like this. Please..." he was begging, trembling with worry that if this man, the man he knew he loved, would see him like hits... he thought he'd never want to see him again.
Sirius strode quickly to the quivering mass' side, knelt, and gathered him protectively in his slightly muscled arms, holding him closely for all he was worth. Pain seemed to radiate off of the shaking figure, and Sirius knew he needed it all to stop. He lay himself out beside Remus, still holding him, and began to stroke his hair, his arms, and down his back; soothing the man he held so dear.
"Why?" Sirius asked him, and there was no mistaking the question.
"You don't hate me?" Remus answered with a question of his own.
Sirius bundled up closer to the man in his arms, and tentatively pressed his still quivering lips to those of the werewolf in answer. He let his lips caress the soft quiver in Remus' own parted lips, and then carefully pulled away.
"I could never hate you, love. Never." he whispered onto Remus' parted and panting lips. Passionately, sincerely, gently. Remus sniffled softly, nuzzling slowly closer into the warmth that is Sirius.
"I wanted it to stop." Remus sniffed, clearly still in pain. "I wanted it all to go away. I couldn't do it." he whispered as if to himself. "I was too weak to end it, Sirius." he spoke quietly. Finally looking Sirius in the yes, he melted into their steely depth.
"No, love. You were to strong too give up. Too strong to let it all end. Too strong to leave me." Sirius told him, spoken with such conviction all Remus could do was nod slightly and release a small sob.
"You... you don't want me...to leave...?" Remus questioned shakily. Sirius turned on to his stomach, turning his head to the side in order to face Remus still lying on his back. Sirius swung an arm protectively over Remus' chest and moved closer, half atop him. He leaned down slowly, giving Remus time to push him away if he so chose. Remus inhaled the scent of the man he loved, leaning up just slightly in an offering of his soft pink lips. Sirius bent his head just slightly and captured those lips. Lips that he now felt he may never get enough of. He wanted this. Wanted Remus. But he knew he had to wait, and he would. He would heal his love's pain, and then he would show Remus just how much he knew he needed him. How much they could have. Just how much Remus could have. And he would.
"As a special gift to all sixth and seventh years," Albus Dumbledore's warm, booming voice announced the next morning at breakfast, "There will be a performance this Halloween. All sixth and seventh years are invited to perform, and all the staff hope you all enjoy yourselves." He finished to loud whooping and murmured whispers amongst the gathered students.
'This should be interesting.' Albus thought. He knew. He always knew, didn't he? Oh, he knew. And he couldn't wait.
"What's wrong, lovely?" Sirius whispered softly into Remus' pink-tinted ear as they sat alone before the common room fire after classes. Remus had been sitting staring blankly at the same page of his current tome for over an hour when Sirius strolled in purposefully and sat to his left, tangling their legs together just so.
"Nothing." Remus replied shortly, softly.
It wasn't harsh, per se, simply... dismissing. This was disconcerting in its self. Sirius knew his friend far too well to accept that answer at face value. He took Remus' hand gently and guided it towards his face, brushing his lips over the knuckle of each digit slowly. Remus shivered and pulled away quickly, shivering.
"'m' sorry," Sirius began softly, pulling away from the tawny-haired boy. "I didn't mean to upset you." He spoke dejected, sitting further away from Remus.
He wanted to fix this. Rid Remus of every fear. Break away his every restraint. Hold him when the tears fall and pull him close with kisses and passion and warmth and love. He didn't want to keep Remus so far away, and he knew that was all that would come of this encounter.
"It's not you!" Remus yelped quickly, shifting nervously to the side as though Sirius would strike him. "I just..." he broke off, shoving his book towards Sirius' shocked face, hoping it would make him understand. Needing him to understand.
'The Ministry Of Magic's Policies On Lycanthropy Consist Of As Follows:
Any werewolf that has contaminated another being shall be immediately executed.
Werewolves are dangerous, and should be treated as such. They are cattle to be wary of.
Any werewolf to cause any harm to a being, in or out of its full-moon state, shall be executed regardless of the extent of damage.
It is prohibited for a werewolf to marry.
All werewolf mates shall be marked as such and given the rights of said werewolf unless given power over said wolf, marking the beast as property of its owner/mate.
Werewolves are prohibited from having any sexual affair with any being for risk of infection.
Any child conceived of a werewolf shall be executed, regardless of the status of the second parent'
Sirius stopped and threw the tome across the room in a fit of rage and horror. How could they? Who were they to say who should be loved and cared for! What in seven hells could possess any one of any morals whatsoever to proclaim such asinine 'rules and regulations'? These are PEOPLE! Not Beasts! How could any one proclaim such ludicrous ideas as law! How could anyone do this! How could they do this to Remus? How could they do something so volatile to HIS Remus! Sirius reached out, pulling Remus to him slowly. Enveloping the man he so cherished in an embrace he prayed would convey all he felt, he cried.
"Wait" Remus gasped, awkwardly pulling away. He rushed towards the tossed book and, gathering it quickly to himself, placed it back infront of Sirius. "Wait. Keep..." He took a breath to steady himself, sitting back to where Sirius had grasped him, "Keep reading." he pleaded, his amber eyes boring into the teary steel orbs before him.
"There's more?" Sirius mumbled to himself, grudgingly reopening the pages and reading once again the page that Remus indicated.
Werewolves, being pack animals, will attain a pack by any means. Members of its pack will be executed.
Any werewolves forcefully obtaining a pack shall be executed
Any pack members attached to a werewolf for any reason will be branded and executed, its body preserved and kept by Ministry Officials.
Any werewolf in its temporary human form who obtains a group that may, in any way shape or form, be considered its pack will be executed, along with its 'pack members'.
Lycanthropy can be transmitted through any and all bodily fluids, consequently, activities causing any exchange of bodily liquids of any kind are strictly prohibited. Any violators spreading this disease will be prosecuted along with their victim.
Though werewolves take human form, they are always werewolves. They must always be treated as such.
"Don't you see?" Remus sniffed softly, wishing it weren't true.
Sirius saw in flames of red. He was livid. How DARE They!
"You and I, the marauders... All of it, Siri. I can't. It isn't allowed. You'll... You'll all get hurt. You'd get killed, Siri. You would get killed for being with me! I... I couldn't do that to you." He whispered desperately, tears streaking down his flushed cheeks as his pain seeped through to the surface.
"Bloody Sodding Buggering HELL!" Sirius roared, grasping Remus tighter and guiding him ever closer to his warm body, his protection. He would never let anything happen to this man in his arms, that much he knew. And he would do anything to be with Remus. Just Remus. He needed to know that. "You can't possibly believe any of that, can you?" He asked astonished, wiping tears off of Remus' face, pressing his lips to the side of his face as the last of the tears were brushed away.
"None of that matters, Remy" he murmured into his hair as he felt the tawny haired boy nod shakily. "All that matters is you And I. Only you And me. Only that you're here with me, And I would give anything to just sit here like this with you forever. To just BE here with you. To just be. Nothing else matters, lovely. None of that rubbish means a thing where you And I are concerned." He whispered, beginning to rock forward And back soothingly, arms encircling Remus entirely, hands brushing up And down arms soothingly, limbs tangled delicately. "If it makes you happy, then it can't be so bad."
Remus smiled softly at Sirius' words, And began to extricate himself from the tight, passionate-yet-chaste embrace. "Do you mean that? Just here, with me. To just hold each other like this, Sirius? You could do that?" He asked quietly.
"Of course, lovely! If that's what it takes to have you here with me, I'd move heaven And earth." Sirius spoke quickly, nodding emphatically as if to reinforce his words.
A smile played, once again, at the corners of Remus' mouth as he stood, pulled Sirius up with him, And led him silently up to the dorms."I don't know that I can," he murmured, pressing his lips softly to the parted lips of the man he knew he had fallen for.
He crawled into bed, once there, And fell asleep wrapped around Sirius' strong And warm body, swiftly followed by the smiling eyes of one Sirius Black. They both had dreams that night. Both realizing for the first time, just how much. Just how much they truly loved one another. Just how much they would give for the other. Just how much they need the other in every breathe they took. And they did.
"Okay, who's gunna put on a little show for us?" James asked actively, bouncing around the Gryffindor Common room a few days later. As the Gryffindor prefect, he had 'the honor' of signing up all the 'candidates' from Gryffindor for Dumbledore's upcoming show. Hands were raised And magical quills scribbled frantically And jokes were made And then Sirius volunteered.
"And what would you do, mate? 'The Art Of Setting Off Dung-Bombs'?" he asked laughing as he continued to bounce around the room, quill And parchment floating behind him while jotting down names And performances.
"I'm going to sing." Sirius announced proudly.
"Alright, 'Howl At The Moon', was it?" James grinned cheekily while Peter exploded into tiny, squealing chuckles. Sirius nodded in acceptance, smiling while the charmed quill wrote furiously what he intended to do. He caught Remus' eye And smiled fondly as the amber eyes glowed beautiful in the glow fo the fire that night.
The full moon.
Remus took gasping deep breathes as he walked towards the Shrieking Shack. Every month, for one night a month, he was inhuman. A monster. Or was he a monster all this time? Was he just a beast trying to fit in a few days a month? Is he a killer canine every day of the month? What use was it to be here if that was true? Why bother?
"Stop It." It was commanded of him, And he obeyed. He turned to look at the owner of the voice with such control over him. Sirius.
"I know what you're thinking on, love, And you're wrong." he whispered soothingly, coming to stand with the man he loved, wrapping him up in his arms from behind.
"I n-need t-to... to go, n-now." Remus whispered, barely audible, just a slight release of breath.
"Why are you afraid so, Remus? What is it?" Sirius wouldn't release him until he knew what was wrong. Until he knew how to make it better. Remus leant back into the strong arms supporting him.
"It's that place, Siri. I don't want to go there." he sighed shakily, "That's where it all hurts."
"Not for long, love." Sirius whispered in parting as he grudgingly allowed the amber eyed Gryffindor to walk resolutely into the Shrieking Shack.
"Welcome Sixth And Seventh Years!" Dumbledore's booming voice echoed throughout the gathered assembly on the night of Halloween. Dumbledore's show was about to begin, And all eyes were on the newly erected 'stage' that was once the Head Table. The Headmaster went on with slow And careful introductions of each student who wished to 'perform'.
Lucius Malfoy was quickly finishing up his tap dance when Sirius rose to approach the elevated platform that would be his stage.
The soft strum of a guitar filled the air as Sirius began to sway, the first words to the song drifting from his lips like melody that was sung just for Remus. His fathomless grey pools bore into those gentle amber orbs that were Remus' eyes, as the words drifted through the Great Hall.
'I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And ended so soon
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark grey sky
I was changed'
Sirius soft baritone stretched And soothed And was beautiful. It drifted into the ears of all those gathered And nestled into their very beings as he sung with such emotion, feeling every word he sung in everything he was.
'In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside
Was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry'
Never letting his gaze to drift from Remus, he willed him to understand. Prayed to the Gods that he would realize that this was for him. This was him. The gently flowing music gradually picked up And Sirius began again. With strength And power he spoke his heart, freeing his every emotion, telling all his tale.
'It was late in September
And I've seen you before
You were always the cold one
But I was never that sure
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark grey sky
I was changed'
With grace only few could ever possess amidst such emotion, he hopped off the stage mid-verse And walked to the Gryffindor Table. James And Peter blanched just slightly, expecting yet another prank, And a few Sixth Year girls fell in to fits of giggles. All Sirius saw was Remus. That's all there was for him. Both knew it, And Remus only prayed that Remus would accept it. Could accept him. He pleaded with him silently, And after receiving a firm nod in response, he knelt before his love, bringing forth another verse of beauty And sincerity And love.
'In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside
Was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry
I wanted to hold you
I wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to make your everything...alright'
He grasped Remus' hands in his, bringing them slowly to his still moving lips, pressing soft kisses to each fingertip as his words died down. 'Please' he silently begged him, 'Please don't turn me away. Please understand' a single tear made its way down Remus cheek, which Sirius gladly brushed away. 'I want to be your everything'.
'I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
In places no one will find
In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside
It was there that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry
I wanted to know you
The moment I saw you cry'
'Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you' A mantra repeating itself that Sirius held to, clung to for all he was worth; needed to. Needed Remus. Needed Remus to know. 'My Forever' he sighed, taking in the last of the melody,
'The Moment I Saw You Cry',
He stood, pressing a soft kiss onto Remus' pliant lips, eyes shining with hope And need And love And desperation And protection And everything Remus had only ever prayed would feel for him. Applause filled the open room And still the two noticed not another being in the room.
"Come on, love." Sirius whispered hotly into Remus' ear as they left the Great Hall.
"Where?" Remus asked, knowing full well that he'd follow this man anywhere.
"We're going to get you over this fear of yours." Sirius announced running out the doors in the entrance hall And out towards the whomping willow. Remus, terrified of what lies behind that tree, followed shakily as he watched Sirius run ahead.
"Siri, wait!" he called out, tremors catching And running through his small frame.
"I can't go in there. Please, Siri. . ." He gasped, shaking harder, wrapping his arms around his body. Sirius, seeing this, ran back to him at full force.
"I promise you, Remy, I will never do a thing to hurt you in any way. Please, just trust me," he whispered into the top of Remus' hair. He felt him nod against his chest, And together they slowly walked through the whomping willow And into the Shrieking Shack.
"What are we doing here, Sirius?" Remus asked, looking around the building, frightened.
"You told me You were afraid of this place, Remus." he received a hesitant nod in response, "That this is where it hurts, Remy?" another, more frantic, nod. "I'm gunna make the pain go away, lovely." he whispered seductively, pressing his lips to those pink, soft lips of one Remus Lupin.
Sirius licked tentatively at Remus' bottom lip, pleading entrance. Remus melted into Sirius' embrace as he guided them to a small, worn bed. Mouths opened instinctively and tongues dueled, fighting simply for more of the other. Sirius' whispered words magically undressed both men, Remus taking that opportunity to thrust his hard, aching erection into Sirius' straining cock.
"Is that what I do to You, Remus? My Kiss? My touch?" Sirius asked, nipping lightly down Remus' neck And shoulder.
"Yes, Siri! You do this to me. . ." he panted heavily, "Now fix it." he growled barely above a whisper, but loud enough for Sirius to hear. He thrust into Sirius moaning his name, Sirius responding in kind. Remus rolled onto his back, pulling Sirius to him, kissing him soundly. Legs entangled And arms wrapped around entire bodies And hips thrust And lips meshed together like that was the way they were always supposed to be. And maybe they were. They both came quickly, set off by the simple touch of the other. They curled into themselves, relishing the warmth And love of the other. Needing to just feel. And they did.
"Maybe the Shack isn't so bad," Remus sighed as he snuggled into Sirius' arms, falling asleep quickly to the feel of Sirius' chuckle reverberating around the room.