The conversation Caroline had with Alaric earlier that week was playing on repeat in her already busy mind.
"So, how's Stefan? He didn't say goodbye." she had said trying not to show how upset she had been.
"The last time he called he was good." was all Ric had responded with.
"What are you afraid to tell me?"
"Damn. I forgot how good you are at reading people. Alright, don't shoot the messenger. He seems pretty happy there. He's starting a new life." Alric looked away from her when he said this, "He has a new girlfriend."
Caroline's eyes instantly went to the floor as she bit her lip to keep the tears away. Of course he was starting a new life, in a new town, with a new girl. He wouldn't have completely disappeared if this wasn't what he wanted.
"Thanks, Alaric. But you know what I completely forgot I have to… I have to go."
"Caroline, wait." Alaric stood up, but she hadn't stopped. He knew how close the two of them had become. For him not to say goodbye must have hit her the hardest.
Now, Caroline was alone in her apartment. She had been living with the others for the first few months, but things got hard for her there. She needed someplace she could go and have some time to herself.
Her phone began buzzing and Alaric's name popped up on the screen. "Hey." She answered. "I'm sorry about the other day."
"That's why I'm calling. I heard from Stefan today." He heard her breath stop. "He's coming home."
"When?"
"Tonight." She didn't respond. "Caroline?"
"Yeah, I'm here."
"He's going to be at the house around eight. You should come. He asked about you."
"I'm not making any promises."
"Fair enough." he said before hanging up, knowing she'd be there.
It was nine when Caroline walked through the door. She wanted to make him wait. Make him think she wasn't coming. Maybe then he'd feel a fraction of what she felt when she realized he was gone, but she couldn't wait any longer. She needed to see him. When she walked into the living room there he was sitting next to some skinny girl with brown hair. Stefan's eyes met hers and in that look he saw everything she was keeping built up, the sadness and hurt, that she kept hidden from everyone else was out in the open for him.
"Caroline."
"Stefan." silence filled the room.
Finally Elena spoke, "Caroline, this is Ivy. Stefan's, uh, friend."
Caroline glared at Ivy until Ivy finally said, "Nice to meet you." she was clearly intimidated.
"Yeah, you too." Caroline's tone was sarcastic and everyone could tell. "So, were you all waiting for me to get this party started?" she asked getting into the liquor cabinet and drinking straight from a bottle.
Everyone sat still, looking at each other to see who would move first.
Ivy spoke up first, "Pour me a glass."
Caroline had finished her bottle in the time it took everyone else to take a few shots. When she went for another one Jeremy pulled her arm away.
"I'm taking you home." he said sharply.
"Come on little Gilbert. Let me have some fun."
He shook his head. "Lets go."
"Fine, dad." She didn't fight him as he led her outside and to his car. He helped her in and they went to her place.
He put the car in park when they arrived and he turned to her. "What's going on with you?"
"I don't know. I saw Stefan with that girl and something snapped."
Jeremy's eyes widened. "Do you like him?"
"Why am I telling you this? Why are you being so nice to me tonight?"
"Because," he let out a small laugh, "Bonnie would find a way to come back just to kill me if I let anything happen to you."
"Well, thank you."
He nodded. "Do you need help getting to your apartment?"
"I think I can handle it." she made her way to her room, changed, and then collapsed onto her bed. Grabbing a pillow, she curled into a ball and started sobbing.
She was awaken the next day by a ringing phone. She reached over and answered without checking to see who it was. "Hello?" her voice was soft and showed evidence of her falling asleep crying.
"Hey. Can I come see you?" it was his voice.
"You don't even know where I am."
"Jeremy kind of gave me the address."
"Of course he did." she said more to herself. "Fine."
"I'll be there in about twenty minutes."
She hung up and brushed her fingers through her messy hair. She was pacing the floor when there was a knock at her door. She hadn't bothered changing out of her leggings and oversized shirt she'd slept in. She didn't want to look like she cared. She wanted him to know how hurt she was.
When she opened the door he looked down questioningly at her shirt. Immediately she remembered where it came from. It was his. It had been one of the only things he left behind; when she found it she put it on and cried. Now she wished she would have changed, but neither of them mentioned the shirt.
She held the door open for him then went to the couch to sit down. It was nothing like Stefan expected. Nothing that screamed "this is Caroline's apartment". It was actually pretty depressing. It was dark and no color anywhere. She was hurting more than he had ever realized.
He slowly sat down beside her. "Caroline, I…"
"Don't do that. Don't apologize."
Stefan looked down not knowing what to say. He knew leaving would mess everything up, but at the time it was what he needed. Now, seeing her like this, he realized she had needed him more. His best friend was left here alone to deal with everything. It had left her broken, lost.
"I shouldn't have left. Not after everything that happened. I see that you and everyone else needed me and I was too selfish to realize."
Stefan, stop. Please. It's done. You can't go back and change it." she paused. "Why didn't you say goodbye?" tears were running down her cheeks and it broke his heart that he was the reason.
He wiped a tear from her eye, "Because of this. I knew I wouldn't be able to leave if I saw you. You'd give me that look, I'd break down, and I would have stayed. At the time I thought it was for the best."
"How do you think I felt when I found out? You just leaving me. Leaving us. And yesterday, you coming back with that poison Ivy girl. All happy and starting a new life." The jealous insecure Caroline was showing and it made her even more upset. She had worked so hard to bury that part of herself and he comes back and makes her crazy.
Stefan couldn't help but chuckle at the "poison Ivy" comment. It was such like Caroline.
"Ivy is just a friend. She could never be more. I could never trust her the way I trust you." Yes, Stefan had told her he was a vampire in a moment of weakness, but her reaction told him he needed to make her forget. So, he made her think they were just friends. She had forgotten everything else.
They both sat there in silence looking into each others eyes, before Caroline finally looked away. "I thought about turning it off, Stefan. I still do."
At that he grabbed her hand. "Don't think like that."
"I called you everytime I thought about it. You never answered."
Stefan shut his eyes, his own tears threatening to come out.
"But," she continued. "Do you know what stopped me? Every time I thought about you coming back and seeing me like that. And I couldn't do it. Because of you."
"Turning it off would have been the easiest thing. I'm so proud of you, Caroline."
With that she stood up and turned away from him. Her body was shaking with sobs. Everything she was holding since Stefan left was coming through the surface and she couldn't hold it back any longer.
Stefan didn't hesitate. He went to and wrapped his arms around her. "Come here." he whispered and she turned into him. She clutched to his shirt. It felt so good to be in his arms, a place she hasn't been in awhile. The last time they were this close was the night after Damon and Bonnie didn't make it back. She had heard him crying the the next room and had went to him. That night she climbed into his bed and wrapped herself around him. Now, he was comforting her.
"It's okay. I'm not leaving you again."
She pulled away enough to look in his eyes. "Promise. Promise me you'll stay."
"I promise, I'll stay." he said running his thumb over her cheek. "Besides, that's my favorite shirt and I wouldn't leave it behind again."
Caroline smiled through her drying tears. "It looks better on me."
Stefan smirked, knowing it did. "Shut up." he said mocking the way she had said it so many times.