Ok I super loved this coupling and pulled a mega nerd and ploughed through the first 14 episodes and even did the fan girl happy dance once the two finally kissed (woohoo).
Thennn Lexa betrayed my fan girl trust, so I have to believe that they will be ok, that they will recover so as usual, fan girl angst channelling. I'm searching for a beta/someone to bounce ideas off of, pm if interested. Please forgive spelling mistakes.
History can be defined as a series of amazing, tragic and necessary actions, but in the end without death we wouldn't have life, without trickery we wouldn't have trust, without evil there is no good. Without Sacrifice we would have no Victory, and without Victory we would have no purpose.
~Unknown
"May we meet again..." Lexa stated stiffly, clenching her arm into her side to stop from reaching out to the blonde women not 2 feet from herself, the woman who had exposed her heart from its dark cage deep within her chest, that same woman looking at her with those enchanting eyes, the colour rivalling the beauty of the bright blue sky. The commander swirled around and stalked off, not able to bear seeing those eyes shatter piece by piece, madness sneaking into the already cracked composure of her ally's sanity. The leader lead her army up a small hill and out of sight, giving herself the distance from her would be lover, her heart was pulsing painfully, worse than the bullet wounds in her chest, she needed to make it back to TonDc, then she could get away, take the time and allow herself to be weak.
Indra, walked beside her, not making eye contact as warriors are taught to do from a tender age of 4, inhaling sharply to battle the cold of the bitter night, all adrenaline faded, she coughed lightly to get her commanders attention, her eyes not connecting with the dead grey ones to her left.
"Heda, you were wrong to make such a choice, any leader can go with their brain, but to go with your heart would have made you stronger" the darker skinned warrior stated harshly, trying to make her leader understand that she had made a sacrifice that just this once wasn't the right one.
Lexa barely heard her words, staring blankly at her long-time friend, one of the few allowed to give council freely without much punishment. The kohl masked woman looked down at the ground again, not bothering to fully take in the words, speeding up her pace, the soles of her boots cracking twigs and crushing slippery leaves at she nearly ran back to camp. She needed to grieve, she needed to time tell herself that this was the right choice.
"Ai don sen in chit bilaik ai gaf sen in Indra… ban ai" the warrior snapped coldly, not looking at her council of one. Taking the message well Indra silenced herself and continued to stride alongside her leader, she was in as much pain as remembered her leader being after Costias head was delivered to her front door…
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After what seemed like eternity the army of 1000 arrived back at camp, the injured were tended to and the families presented with their dead loved ones.
"This is why I did it" Lexa rationalised with herself, taking in the relatively minimal damage, the mass of happy women and children embracing their fathers, brothers and husbands, the captives of the mountain met with happy relieved villagers, embraced back home with open arms "the sacrifice of a few for the many… Without this sacrifice… Victory would have been met with more death, more carnage…"
The commander trailed around the camp, her calm commander mask firmly in place, hiding her grief from her people, taking all the praise and happiness in her stride, all the goodness glancing off her like she was no longer compatible with such a pleasant thing.
Eventually the noise died down and the brunette strode up the small podium she used after battle, it was no more than a tiny cliff off the ground but it allowed for her to be seen.
"Today is a victory, we have got our people back, rejoice now and celebrate this blessing… Tomorrow we will bury our dead… Tomorrow we send our people off into the afterlife… But for now be grateful that the Sky people…
Lexa hesitated, only for a micro second, but to her own mind it was a microsecond to long.
I'm not weak… I did not love Clarke… I do not love… Love only makes the strong weak
The commander steeled her cold thoughts away for later…
"That the Sky people sacrificed themselves for us to be free" the leader finished, her ending met with a wave of applause and hollers of joy.
The commander left her small podium and strode straight to her tent, waving Indra to care for the people in her absence.
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After the woman passed through the door of her tent she reached up and wrenched her armour off, the weight and what it meant disgusted her, the bloodied metal whacking one of the support beams hard, causing the shelter to quiver in protest, the armour was followed by the rest of her clothes, the commander sinking to the floor, to the very knees that had held her up all night, the strength no longer there, allowing her to finally crumple.
The girl that hid behind her cold mask finally was allowed out, the normally strong cold front shattered and hot tears streaked down her bloodied face, burning her cheeks, the flame of the salty tracks burning through her body, she could feel those cursed feelings, the very ones tearing apart her newly softened pink heart, leaving shredded bloody pieces of flesh throughout her chest.
Before she started her wailing the girl grabbed a soft pelt from her bed spread, curling up on the floor with it and screaming into the dead animals hide, her body trembling and hiccupping from the force of her tears.
I'm sorry Clarke ai hodness I could not pick my heart, not when it comes to my people, I am as kwel as you told, you saw right through me…"
After a few seconds of silence a deafening mantra entered the commanders mind…
Imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry…..
The two words circled inside her skull, crowding inside and pushing hard, hurting her body more than she ever imagined possible.
The pain reached such a point that even the commander couldn't stay conscious and the internally destroyed brunette passed out, curled up on the cold floor of her empty tent…
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Translations:
"Ai don sen in chit bilaik ai gaf sen in Indra… ban ai" (I've heard what I needed to hear Indra, leave me)
"Clarke Ai hodess" (Clarke my love)
"Kwel" (weak)
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Review if you wish, I will make a second Clarke chapter if you'd like, I have a few ideas for once.
~Wombatron