DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, I just parody them without mercy.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a parody of Sam and David, who I think are really trained seals, or else, part of a two-headed creature called Samvid, one head of which is markedly smarter than the other. If you don't like parodies of 7th Heaven characters, don't read it. If you'd like to see another chapter, review.
SUMMARY: Samvid struggles to take over the world, starting with the Camden household.
MUAHAHAHAHAHA
Chapter One
Samvid Camden was sitting in the kitchen, eating cookies on the floor while his sister Ruthie slow danced with some guy in the next room.
"This is the perfect opportunity for us to hone our manipulation skills and develop our plan for taking over the world," the smarter of Samvid's two heads said, his eyes glowing with his desire to take over the world.
"COOKIE!" The dumber head said, munching happily on an oreo.
The smarter head shook it in disgust. "Can't you ever think of anything but cookies? It's all about world domination. If we're ever to break out of this ridiculous family, we must act now, while we're still below suspicion." For emphasis, this half of Samvid widened his eyes and gave the room an innocent look.
"I love you bro-theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer," the dumb half said happily.
"Think, you simpleton, think!" the smarter half said emphatically. "Do you want to be sentenced to becoming another bushy-eyebrow-ed Simon? Or to disappear to 'med school' like Matt? Worse yet, do you want to develop square jaws that impede our speech like Kevin and Ben? Do you want to live our entire existence with Lucy sharing her engagement anniversary with our birthday? Think of the drama, you imbecile, think of it! Years from now, when Mary's a singing hostess on a cruise ship living in a cabin with her husband Enrico and Matt and Sarah are 'doctors' and the parents have gone through ten midlife crisis, we'll still be here, entering high school, where we will doubtlessly learn lessons about the importance of doing what is right even when it's not easy to help your learning disabled kitten to say no to drugs! Our back yard will be littered with Cambodian architects and singing dyslexic cowboys and orphaned pterodactyls.. and…"
"Ter-o-dact-als?" the dumber half questioned.
The smarter half nodded. "Yes, pterodactyls and whatever other counseling patients our father has corralled into our backyard. I cannot stand for it, brother, I cannot!"
"I love you bro-theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer," the dumber half said with a smile.
"Cursed! I am cursed!" the smarter head said, burying his blonde head in their four joint hands.
He heard a noise. "Quick," the smarter head said. "Pretend you don't know any better than to make a huge mess and eat a bunch of cookies even though we're almost four! Then Ruthie will get in trouble and we won't. It's not world domination, but it's a start."
The dumber head tilted his head to the side confused. As Annie entered the room, the smarter half concealed his intelligence in a face that mimicked his other half's.
"Where's Ruthie?" Annie questioned.
"She's daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing," the two head replied in unison. It was like the children of the corn, only freakier.
Annie went off to find Ruthie.
"Muahahahahahahaha," the smarter twin said.
"COOKIE!" the dumber head agreed.
They were on their way to world domination.
TBC… what other plots does Samvid have in his smarter head? REVIEW and maybe you'll find out.