CHAPTER 1
Max
I'm walking down the Blackwell halls with Victoria. Taylor and Courtney following in our wake. We'll patrol up and down these corridors until our first class of the day. Basking in the attention. That's how it is for Victoria, anyway. I don't think I'm quite there yet. Strutting up and down the halls like we're royalty puts me on edge. Every now and then we'll hear something like 'bitches' muttered behind us. One time I heard 'cunts'. I tell myself the more I'm called a cunt the sooner I'll build up an immunity.
Being around Victoria puts me on edge too. It wasn't long ago we were at each other's throats. We hugged it out and buddied up but I'm still expecting that knife in my back. But a part of me loves being around her too. We kind of rule this joint. And putting aside the paranoia, she's grown on me. We click. We still bust each other's balls, but now it's just playfighting.
I guess I have history with Courtney too because she was also a real bitch to me when I first started at Blackwell (Following Victoria's lead as always). Now that Victoria and I have made up and I've entered the Vortex Club she's become a lot friendlier, but I'm sure she resents me becoming Victoria's main partner in crime.
The last member of our group, Taylor, is actually kind of sweet even though she can get nasty like the rest of us. During all the drama between me and Victoria (And Courtney) she tried her best to stay out of it. I never really figured out why. I've seen her trash other girls on Victoria's shitlist the same way Courtney does, but she never really did that to me. Maybe she was just smart enough not to mess because I can breathe fire when I want.
Nathan, the money behind the Vortex Club and someone else who was a total asshole to me when I first started, is walking towards us. As he closes in he holds his arms up expecting a hug from Victoria. Nathan and Victoria are close (Hence why he was an asshole to me). They're not close close, but close.
"You don't get a hug today," Victoria says once he's in earshot "You know why."
"Fuck you then!" he says, grinning, probably wasted on something, still holding up his arms. "Max! Come here!"
He hugs me tightly. Awkwardly.
"Don't you dare hug him back, Max!" says Victoria. My arms are squeezed tightly against my chest so I can't really do anything anyway.
"Aw, what's he done now?" I ask. Nathan releases the hug.
"He told Zach that Victoria wants to bang him." Courtney leans in over my shoulder, whispering.
"I thought everyone knew that?" I reply. Victoria hasn't been subtle about stealing Zach, the Bigfoots Quarterback, away from his current girlfriend Juliet.
"Not everyone," says Victoria. "But everyone knows Nathan is like my slave. Zach might as well have heard it straight it from my mouth. Now I sound desperate."
"Just trying to help a girl out," says Nathan "Zach was pretty interested in what I had to say. And you are desperate."
"Ugh, you should have told him Juliet has herpes or something instead. I could work with that."
"Shit, I'd take the herpes just for a hookup with Juliet." says Nathan
"Gross!" says Taylor, giggling. We all giggle.
"Don't act like your dick isn't already falling off," says Victoria "Max, you might want to get checked up after that hug."
"I think I just need a cold shower." I say
Hayden, another Vortex Club bro and actually a pretty cool guy, swoops in next to Nathan.
"Ladies …" he says
"Speaking of STD's!" says Taylor. Chuckles.
"What have you heard now, Taylor?" asks Hayden
"We all saw you hanging out with Brooklyn yesterday." says Courtney
"Yeah," says Victoria "Brooklyn is toxic."
"Brooklyn's a sweet girl," says Hayden "More than I can say for certain others and their vicious rumours."
"You bang her?" Nathan asks
"I don't kiss and tell. Or bang and tell." Hayden says. Hayden has a bad reputation among us girls, but he has undeniable charm.
The bell rings and we all head out to our classes.
Jefferson
I finish up another class and stand watching Max, Victoria and Taylor talking in hushed voices as they gather up their things. Victoria glances at me, whispers something and they all start giggling. Irritated, I turn back towards my desk but almost by reflex I give them a smirk before I do. Feeding them the reaction they want. How long into the semester are we? And they're already infatuated with me. Why do I encourage this in girls who could never be my subjects? A nasty habit. This flirting could only spiral into awkward teenage seduction and I had little time for Vortex Club sluts.
Where are the prospects in Blackwell? There's Kate Marsh. The main candidate. She's alone at Blackwell. Bullied by the Vortex Club girls in my class and god knows who else outside of it. But she always maintains an optimism. A glow. A dignity. Kate Marsh interests me. But there aren't any others. Stella? Alyssa? They're cold. Cynical. Stella has the aesthetic perhaps but I get little feeling from her.
Blackwell may have been a mistake. All the resources and all the privacy, but little potential in these students. And one subject dead. What a waste. I'm overreacting. There'll be others in this school or this town.
Victoria approaches and I turn around to face her, sense of dread, but I smile. Max and Taylor stand off to the side, watching, amused, waiting for some drama to unfold. Almost as if Victoria was about to throw herself at me. Whatever ridiculous spectacle Victoria was about to create I didn't want the audience. The door of the classroom shuts leaving the four of us alone.
"Victoria! What can I do for you? But first – Max? Taylor? I'm sure you have other places to be?"
"You wouldn't want us to leave you alone with Victoria, trust me," Max says "She has that look in her eyes."
On cue Taylor starts giggling, and Victoria glances back towards Max, no doubt with a blushing irritation.
"I think I can handle Victoria. How about you girls get off to your next class?"
"We need to talk to you too," says Max "Could you handle three of us at once?"
"Of course," I say, casually, and I look Max squarely in the eyes causing her to look away. I'm disappointed in Max and have been ever since she fell in with Victoria and Taylor. She has the look. I thought she had the personality. Seems I was wrong. "But there's barely time for Victoria now. I'd hate for you two to be late for you next class."
"Well, maybe you do want to be alone. Don't say I didn't warn you." Max replies, still avoiding my gaze. Taylor giggles. Max heads for the door and Taylor follows her. Victoria stands in front of me. A little flustered. Thrown off Max's lewdness I suppose.
She wants to talk shop. This was becoming the routine with Victoria. For all her bluster she's too nervous to make drastic moves, but with Max and Taylor encouraging her it's only a matter of time before she becomes more explicit.
I remind myself that being the Vortex Club's trophy fuck isn't the worst situation. Jealousy is a beautiful thing, and how many girls would love nothing more than to steal in ahead of these pompous cunts? By stringing them along other opportunities could arise.
But how does this affect their Vortex Club associate and my accomplice, Nathan? Does he care about them? Does he have plans for them? Does he lust for them? Is he protective? No doubt he's heard them talking about me. He'll know their plans for me. That wouldn't be ideal because Nathan can be the jealous type. As far as I'm aware Nathan hasn't been interested in anyone since Rachel, but it's difficult to know what happens in that mind of his. I need to figure this out with him.
I'd been on autopilot with Victoria. Not sure what we were talking about. I tell her to leave for her next class and I watch her turn away. She spins around and pushes the door open with her back, her eyes on mine, a smile on her face.
Max
I'm sat in the cafeteria after school with Victoria and Taylor. We're discussing Jefferson, and Victoria is telling us how after we left her alone with him there was a thick, fiery sexual tension, and how this tells us he's into students and how his thing with Rachel Amber wasn't a one-time thing.
We have this same conversation after every interaction Victoria has alone with Jefferson. I always believe her for some reason. I always believe every time I leave her alone with Jefferson after class they spend their time gazing into each other's eyes underneath a rainbow or whatever.
" … so much tension between us," Victoria says "Especially after you two told him outright that I was DTF. I don't know if I should thank you for that or not."
"He already knew." I reply
"Bitch!" Victoria smiles "But like I said, it's all just body language right now. We still only talk about photography. Maybe I should be more forward?"
"You'll make him uncomfortable," Taylor suggests "He doesn't want anyone to know he's fucking students. That's probably illegal. Don't make it awkward."
Taylor made sense. Jefferson would want everything discreet. I'm not as confident as Victoria. I couldn't approach Jefferson alone after class like her. But then, maybe that'll work out in the long run? Maybe I'm just overthinking these after-class meetings they have. She wasn't alone with him for long. She just blows these things out of proportion, I'm sure.
"All of Blackwell knows about Rachel and guess what? He got away with it!" Victoria says, satisfied.
"But if you banged Jefferson you wouldn't disappear into thin air. There'd be a victory parade."
"You know me too well, Max." I got a playful shoulder barge. Victoria was sat very close to me. She smelt pretty good. Shalini, maybe? I'm trying to remember all these brand names that Victoria throws around.
"So how did Rachel get Jefferson anyway?" I asked
"I don't know. You think I'm shameless? You should've met Rachel. She probably lured him into her fuckpit dorm and jumped on his face."
"Seems like all the guys fell for Rachel," says Taylor "Listening to them talk about her."
"She was the biggest whore at Blackwell. That's how you win hearts and minds around here." Victoria says.
Like Taylor, I never knew Rachel Amber. She'd gone missing a few months ago. Before I arrived at Blackwell. She was great girl according to just about everyone besides Victoria.
"Would've been cool to meet her so I could compare notes on Jefferson." I say, giving Victoria a smile. She liked it when I played up our rivalry over teach.
"Max, I hate to say it but you're far too cute to have to resort to Rachel's playbook," says Victoria "It won't get you Jefferson but maybe it'll get you Trevor …"
Trevor. The other guy. A skater guy I had a kind of thing for. Taylor starts giggling. I try and change the subject.
"What was the deal with Nathan and Rachel anyway? He talks about her whenever he's blasted. He gets so emotional."
"I don't know what Nathan saw in that slut, but I guess you fall in love with everyone when you're on as much stuff as he is," says Victoria "But don't change the subject! Are you going to move on Trevor before the party?"
There was another Vortex Club party coming up and none of us had dates. Victoria wanted Zach of course. Taylor was interested in some guy called Brian who was new at Blackwell and had just made the Bigfoots. Courtney mysteriously hinted that she had a date but was keeping his identity a secret for now.
Victoria had figured out that I was crushing on Trevor a little. Apparently she could read it all over my face anytime I was around him. Or anytime he talked to me. Or anytime she talked to me about him. So far, I hadn't admitted anything. I wasn't embarrassed. I didn't mind Victoria knowing because if she knew then Trevor knew, and if he liked me at all then I guess he'd take it from there. And I didn't mind Victoria teasing me over the whole thing. We'd play around.
"You keep trying to pin Trevor on me when you know what I have with Jefferson." I say
"Come on, you are so in love with Trevor!" says Taylor
"So in love." says Victoria
"If Trevor moves on me I'll consider it, I guess."
"Trevor's too shy to move on you." says Taylor "It's so cute."
"Taylor's right. You need to step up and take charge, Max." says Victoria
It wasn't what I wanted to hear. I was so useless around boys, and I was hardly convinced that Trevor would date me. The gossip was that he was crazy about Dana (Who wasn't?). But Dana was with Logan. Maybe Trevor would date me to make Dana jealous? As if I could make Dana jealous. Trevor could be dumb enough to think I could though.
"I don't need a date for the party." I say "It's not like you two have dates."
"We're working on it." says Victoria "Zach is so fucking scared to make moves."
"Wasn't scared to make moves on Juliet …" I say with a grin.
"Ugh, spare me." Says Victoria
Some other girls from the Vortex Club come and sit with us. I can't remember all their names but we all bitch and whine about guys for a while. I have a quick conversation with the girl sat next to me, Saffron, who I know a little from a couple of my classes. I like Saffron. I always think she's flirting with me, but I can't figure out yet if she just flirts with me or if she flirts with everyone. She doesn't live on campus. She has a small place in town that her rich lawyer Dad rents for her.
Everything dies out in the cafeteria and we all break up. I head to the dorms with Victoria and Taylor.
I think a lot about Trevor. I'm in no way obsessed with him or anything. He's cute, that's all. It just seems a boyfriend is a total necessity right now. I know if I don't get one soon I'm sure Victoria will start up dyke rumours. Dyke rumours started up while I was in Seattle too, and continued even though I ended up going through a string of (not serious) boyfriends. Not that it really mattered in Seattle because lesbians were everywhere. I wasn't totally blameless either and there had been one or two incidents with other girls that added fuel to that fire. After these incidents I had boys lining up asking me out, and I dated a few of the cuter ones. But I always got dumped. I guess once it became clear that I wasn't going to tag in other girls.
Jefferson
I'm sat with Nathan in my car telling him how frustrated I am with the lack of potential in my students. Suggesting to him, as delicately as I can, that I'm not interested in any of the Vortex Club sluts in my class that he may or may not be interested in. Nathan is in a manic episode. I'm not sure I'm making any sense to him.
Nathan's father is harsh. The boy withers under the pressure of expectation. It's important I foster a closer relationship by remaining calm and sympathetic while being firm enough to keep his head on task. Never intimidating him with major, pointed objectives, but emphasizing his natural, vague growth as an artist. The drugs only complicate this because Nathan's progress is random and unpredictable. Also because I can't fucking stand junkie degenerates. Such is his dependence, and of course the medical necessity, I can't do much about his addictions.
"I don't know man. Victoria Max Taylor are all cool. They'd fit," Nathan is saying "I mean I get they can be bitchy and they're into shit but that doesn't show in the photos. They've got the looks, you know? They're cute."
"It's not about cute, Nathan. Anyone can be cute. You must understand it's as much about behaviour and demeanour as it is about aesthetic. Only particular girls behave how we want them to behave."
"Look I'm not even saying we should do them. Just that they'd work. I mean you put them in that situation, give them that stuff, people are gonna react the same way. And I wouldn't just shoot any girl but Victoria Max Taylor they'd work."
I remind myself that I don't need Nathan to ape my work, I need someone I can trust not to fuck everything up.
"Listen, it's important for you to have your own identity. Your standards. Not my standards. I forget that sometimes ..."
"Your work is the shit. Your stuff inspires me. That's what I want to do."
"You can do it. You have talent. It's important you're not an imitation. That people see Nathan Prescott."
"I know that man but …"
"But the point I'm trying to get to here is that you're free to choose your subjects, but you have to be careful. I'm always here to guide you and help you. I want you to succeed." An unavoidable part of me does want to see Nathan flourish. To become something. "But you need to be careful. Delicate. You need to stay off the drugs, at least while you're at work. Attention to detail is everything. You can't operate like this. We can't have another Rachel Amber …"
"You keep bringing her up!"
"I know …" It was clear to me, underneath his drug-fuelled haze, that he was wracked with guilt over Rachel "But we can avoid that happening again, right?"
"I don't want it to happen again! Look I'm sorry about the whole thing. I'll get better."
"I know you regret Rachel. That was an important lesson for you. And I'm sure you learnt from it, but you also need to move on," I'm curious about Nathan's current interests "You need a new subject. Have you thought about other girls?"
"I can't, man. Not right now."
"Well, the moment you take a shine to someone we can discuss it," I'm unsatisfied. I don't know where Nathan stands on the Vortex Club girls. I could ask the question directly but he's too emotional "Now, we have to talk about Kate Marsh."
Max
I can't sleep tonight. It's past 3am so I've been laying here for over two hours. Is it the weed? I'd spent all night in Victoria's room hanging out, along with Nathan and Taylor. The highlight was getting Victoria to admit she masturbates over Jefferson more than she does Zach, which pissed Nathan off.
Nathan was so pissed he wouldn't even tell us who he jacks off to the most. And I was interested to find out because Nathan doesn't seem to like anyone. Besides this missing Rachel Amber girl. Victoria teases him about her disappearance, and it's a dick move because I can tell it's a real sore point for him. But Nathan and Victoria are like brother/sister. They're always breaking each other's balls.
That question, about masturbation, came around to me as well of course. After Taylor put on an innocent routine saying she'd never masturbated ever (Which was going to be my line), I just answered Jefferson to get a rise out of Victoria and turn the screws on Nathan.
I wonder why Nathan was so touchy about Jefferson? Nathan would come and hang out before our photography classes sometimes and Jefferson would always give him shit, telling him to get out, but Nathan would just silently accept it and do whatever he was told. He was the only teacher Nathan didn't fuck with. It must be a guy thing. Jefferson's an alpha. The apex predator. Nathan hears us girls fawn over Jefferson and it just tells Nathan who's the big dog. I guess that's how it works. I don't think Nathan's into Victoria or me so it can't be jealousy, right?
Jefferson
I'm restless tonight so I'm sat in the dark room. I have Megan's binder open in front of me. I was never completely satisfied with Megan even though I'd had three shoots with her (One regular shoot, and two drugged shoots). I have considered disposing of this binder a few times but a part of me is deeply connected to it. Megan was, after all, aesthetically a perfect candidate. She was adorable. Very delicate features and two big blue eyes that melted straight through me.
Megan's problem was she knew she was adorable, and she knew how to use it. It shouldn't bother me. After all, many of my subjects were aspiring models caught up in their own beauties. But an aspiring model is usually arrogant and vain and I can work with that. When they're drugged and helpless the crashing realization that they're at someone's mercy makes for compelling, very raw behaviour.
Megan was not an aspiring model. She didn't think of herself as conventionally beautiful, and had always said she was too short for the catwalk. But she knew she was cute and exaggerated this as best she could through performance. She wanted to be an actress. A caricature.
I look her up online (We're still friends on various social media) and she's making a life for herself. She lives in an upmarket apartment in Los Angeles and is involved with a quite handsome but older man. I'd guess an executive of some kind. Someone who could advance her career. She has acted in a few minor roles but nothing you'd have seen.
Both of the drugged sessions with her went the same. At first, it was perfect. As an unconscious subject she was a gorgeous sight and those first few moments of confusion and panic as she awoke were intoxicating. But then - total compliance. Once it dawned on her that it was Mark Jefferson in front of her and that this was what Mark Jefferson wanted … there was no fear. No sense of danger. A trust. She saw this as an opportunity to be exploited. Fulfill this fantasy and doors would open. She began performing as best as she could through the haze of the drugs. As if I was some pervert with a bondage fetish. Turning on a childish voice and spewing some 'woe is me' type dialogue thinking that's what'd get me off.
My subjects can't be so artificial. I need authenticity. Megan couldn't offer me genuine emotion or distress. She just wasn't phased by the situation. It was the first and only time I'd really considered escalating. Shocking her with violence and anger to provoke an honest reaction. But that's not my style. It should never be my style.
Max
I'm hanging around Blackwell, alone. I haven't really shot Blackwell since I've been here so I have my camera and I'm just waiting on the lighting. I know everyone in my photography class already has shots of Blackwell and I'm not going to do anything special here, but I feel like it needs to be done.
The skaters arrive at their favourite spot at the rails. Trevor's with them, of course. I don't feel like leaving or hiding, but I don't feel like approaching him either. I tell myself I shouldn't be such a fucking kid. I know I should go over and talk them. No hidden motives. No passes at Trevor. Just a friendly girl looking for chit-chat. I'd offer to take some shots of them and their tricks since they'd like that, but I'm getting low on polaroid and my mom's already pissed at me for my spending.
I decide to walk over and hang out with them. Try not to be weird around Trevor. Even if Trevor does like Dana more than me, I need to be around him so I can get comfortable and get over this all this fawning body language that Victoria picks up on.
"Hey guys," I say "Skateboarding, huh?"
"Max!" says Justin (Trevor's stoner best friend.) "Tell me you're here to learn a thing or two."
"I'm not exactly dressed to pull off any dope moves today, Justin." Justin's a nice guy. He always has fun giving me shit for my lame skater lingo so I don't shy away from it. I'm in a cute summer dress so the only dope moves I could pull would be on Trevor.
"Remember you promised us you'd hop on a board at least?" says Trevor "That'd be a dope enough move for us."
Trevor has stepped on a board that pokes up towards me. An offering.
"I'd either break my legs or ruin this dress. I don't know which would be worse."
"Lame. You wouldn't fall. You'd be in Trevor's hands …" Justin says with a big grin. I guess he's figured out my thing for Trevor too.
"Just stand on it," Trevor picks up his board, walks over to me and lays it in front of my, offering me his hand "It's not as bad as you think."
Trevor seems kind of oblivious. He doesn't react to Justin and he just seems like he's interested in the novelty of seeing me on a skateboard.
"I guess I've gotta do this if I'm ever going to be a hot skater chick," I say, as I put my camera bag down and take Trevor's hand. I hope the board doesn't fly out from under me so I end up in Trevor's arms. That'd be way too cliché "If this goes wrong I'll come back to haunt you though."
I step on the board and it's all very anticlimactic. I stay steady on the board, frozen in place, not wanting to move, and after a few seconds I step off.
"Pretty awesome, Max." says Justin, unimpressed.
"Not so bad, right?" says Trevor
"Soon I'll be busting wild tricks, right? Justin?"
"You'd be like 200% hotter if you could skate, Max, seriously." says Justin
"Like you'd be 5% less ugly if you shaved those pubes off your face?"
"Ouch!" says Trevor
"Forget I said anything!"
"I'm just joking," I say, feeling I'd overdone it "You're cute enough to rock the pubes."
"Now I'm blushing," says Justin "I thought you'd save that line for Trevor."
He catches me off guard and I wish I knew what expression I have on my face. I don't look at Trevor, who's been laughing through this exchange.
"You know there's something between us already, Justin …" I say, and since Justin doesn't respond I wonder if he took that seriously "Anyway I've gotta go take some photos, the sun's setting."
Justin and Trevor and some other guy who was there all say their goodbyes and as I walk away I heard them talking, hushed. The sun actually is setting so I pull out my camera. I need to spend more time with my camera, I tell myself. Also need to buy more Polaroid. Maybe text my mom a quick sorry.
Chloe
I wish my mom had never told me Max was back in town because every day she doesn't visit I feel like shit. I guess I can kind of understand why she wouldn't call or text, but this house is basically her house and she can just walk up to the door any time now. I wonder how mom found out about it anyway? I guess she has contacts. Keeping tabs for the Prescott's on fresh meat they can sacrifice to their blood gods or whatever.
My Dad walks in to check if I'm alright and I try and get some more morphine out of the deal but no dice. The evening pain hasn't really started yet and he can tell. But me being a dope fiend is something we joke about, even though he has a way of turning the dark drug addiction angle into a stage for his lame dad jokes.
I haven't spoken to mom or dad lately about Max. They were both so excited when mom found out she was back, but I guess like me they've been sat waiting for the big payoff. My dad stands around at my door for a few seconds, quiet, and I guess he knows that I have something on my mind.
"Dad …"
"You want to talk?" he says, walking up to the bed next to me.
"Why do you think Max hasn't come to visit yet?"
"Well … Max is kind of shy, right? And she hasn't seen you in years. She's probably building all this up in her head and scaring herself off. And she's at Blackwell so she's got a million other things going on as well. Probably the same thing as Seattle."
"I think she's forgotten about me. Moved on."
"No one would move on from you. Look, you mom and I are keeping out eyes out for her. If we see her we'll say hi. I think she just needs a nudge."
"You mean you're gonna guilt her into coming."
"We're gonna say hi and treat her like we always did. You know, she probably feels bad. If she we just treat her like everything's normal it'll cheer her right up and she'll feel better about visiting."
"Well, put in a good word for me if you do see her."
"We won't have to do that, sweetie." He knows it bugs me when he calls me sweetie but then he kisses me on the forehead. "You need anything else?"