For what ever reason, I think about Sonic. I think about his disgusting gloved hands all over Amy, and this makes me sick. I can almost see his sneering face in my mind. The rushing water around my head is collecting into quite a pool by now. I can feel the plug under my head, lifting it fractions of a centimeter above the rest of the tub floor. I feel dizzy again and the spinning comes back.

Sonic The Hedgehog... Sonic lives in a large blue house (believe it or not) a few miles out side of Mobotropolis. I rented a car so I could come sit out side of his house, while Amy is present, of course. It is night time by now, but I've been sitting here a while. I got here around six thirty, and parked on the other side of the street, as to not to gain the attention of either of them. The wind is blowing heavily. I can tell by the way the trees are swaying. The wind blows each and every little leaf and branch, the combined effort making it look like the trees are dancing. I enjoy this beauty a lot more now, because solitude is all I know.

It's hard for a dyke in Station Square. I used to despise that word, now I don't give a fuck. I don't even know why I am sitting out here, to tell the truth. I peer through my binoculars again, and aim for the up stairs bed room. I have visited Sonics home on more than a few occasions, though I can't say I ever enjoyed it. I can see the silhouettes walking around the room, interacting with one another. The smaller body frame, Amy, embraces the larger body form, Sonic. It looks as if they are kissing, and I can feel the tears welling up. I lower my hands, and I blink them out of my eyes, sniffle, then raise the binoculars again. I can see the smaller body form get on it's knees, and...

I gag, and drop the binoculars. I can't watch this anymore. I take a the pack of cigarettes out of my vest, and begin roughly packing the top. I rip off the cellophane exterior, and open the pack, tearing out the paper and disregarding it. I take a cigarette out of the pack and push the car lighter in. I start the car and take off. I quit smoking when I dated Amy. She made me, but now I see no reason to take care of my self...

I can hear my self wailing, and I find my self to be annoyed by the sound of my own crying voice. I begin to wriggle vigorously in the water, splashing it everywhere. I drank far too much, and every feeling of rage and hatred at this point is amplified beyond belief. I'm swimming in my own regurgitation. My head isn't clear, and all I can think about is wringing that little bitch's neck!

I honestly cant believe I just had that thought... I love her...

Burning Sensation

The head of the car lighter pops out with a click, and without taking my eyes off the road I pull it out, and raise the hot orange metal circle to the end of my cigarette, and inhale. They say not to hold it in, but I am not exactly trying to live to be seventy. I exhale deeply, the smoke rushing to my eyes and a slight burning sensation over comes them. I am forced to grab the cigarette between my middle and index fingers with my right hand, which leaves my face and makes its way back to the steering wheel.

I'm heading south, towards Mobotropolis, in the opposite direction of my house. My house is north from here, slightly west of Station Square. I'm going to Amy's tonight, and I'll be waiting for her with bells on.

The water is rushing up past my ears. I'm gagging again, as if I were going to puke, but there isn't anything left except stomach acids. I thought I was smiling a minute ago.. I thought I had gotten over this...

It's around ten now, and I have finally arrived to the parking lot of a strip mall. I'm not shopping though, just looking for a nice place to leave the car. I pull in to a secluded parking space at the very end of the strip mall, right in front of the dollar store. I shut off the car and turn the headlights off. I sit stationary in the car for a while, just contemplating what I'm about to do. I give the plan the good old once over. There were many options I went through when i was concocting what I should do with her.

Originally I was just going to strangle that little bitch, but I figured it would be too easy for her to fight back. I thought about buying a gun, but even if I could get a clean gun, it would still be too easy for me to kill her. I don't want this to be over in a flash... I would not get any satisfaction from that.

Calm

I've calmed a little now. I lay here, temple deep in water, and heavily hyperventilating. As far as I can tell, my eyes are open widely, and I am trying to lay as still as I can for some reason unbeknownst to me. I stare up at the dark ceiling. I did not turn the lights on when I came in, but this bathroom is dimply lit because I left the door cracked, and the lights remain in the living room just a bit down the hall. I can see the curtain, dangling next to me, tracing the outline of the curtain rod.. I can't see the curtain rings though... It's just a bit too dark for that..

I grab the bag out of the back seat with my right arm. I don't even look for it I just know where it is. I unzip the red duffel bag and do an inventory check. Rope, a tazer, a flash light, lighter fluid, a cheap zippo lighter, which I have already put fluid in, and all the pictures, clothes, and little trinkets Amy got for me over the past few years. All the pictures of her... All the pictures of us, together. All the reminders. I slip the lighter in my vest pocket, right next to my last couple of cigarettes.

I have two, one for the journey there, and one for the destination. I pull the first one out of the soft top pack, and put it in between my lips, but I don't light it yet. I zip up the duffel bag, and open the door. I was not wearing my safety belt, because of my new found disregard for safety. It's chilly out side, and I can already feel that fall has begun. I rub my arms together in succession for warmth, but to no avail, or at least no difference big enough to notice.

I begin walking briskly past the right side of the dollar store, and into the woods behind the strip mall. There is a trail back through here, and I know it very well, because I have visited it many times in the past few days. It leads to a great vantage point out side of Amy's house. I pull out the lighter, and flip the pink metal top back.

I got a pink lighter as a reminder of my favorite color, that of my favorite person. I spin the wheel, causing the flint to spark. It does this a couple times, til finally the tiny rope in the center ignites. I cup my hand around the flame to protect it from the wind. I lift the flame slowly up to the end of my sweet salvation, and inhale deeply.

I close the pink lighter and stuff it pack into my vest pocket, and I feel around for the zipper on the duffel bag. I unzip the bag just enough for my hand to snake its way into the bag, and fumble around for the flash light. Once located, I grasp the long slender metal flashlight into my hand, and remove it. I zip up the bag with the middle of my fingers with the flash light hand, and with the other I throw the long strap over my shoulder.

I push the button on the side of the metal flash light, and aim it at the ground in front of me. I inhale deeply from the cigarette, and I remove it from my lips with my newly freed hand, and hold the smoke in for a ew seconds before exhaling. Tonight I will be with my delicate little flower. I will see how truly delicate this flower is, and how much it takes to destroy it.

A Good Night Kiss

"I'll see you in the morning!" Amy tells her new boyfriend, as she plants her lips onto his.

"Ten?" He asks, when his mouth is free.

She nods in reply, and blows him a kiss, as she backs to the door, and turns towards her car.

It did not take her very long to move on from Sally, in fact, she hooked up with this guy the same day. She wasn't sure of anything yet, you know just testing the waters. She was walking to her car backwards, blowing kisses at him. He caught them with his white gloved hand, a silly tradition she was always fond of. He thought it was kind of dumb, but he honestly did not care because he was getting laid, and Amy was a really good fuck. She gets in her car, and he goes into his house, but it really isn't what you think.

Mistake

I try not to think of all the good times I have had with this girl, as I climb up the side of her house. She has one of those fence like sidings, covered in moss, with little foot holds and shit all over it. I always wondered what the fuck the purpose of these things were, but now I think I found it. Fate has a way of spelling these things out for us.

I do this extremely slowly, as not to make alot of noise. Her car was already here when I arrived, so I have to be extremely quiet. I see some lights on, but some off so its hard to tell if she is awake or not. She never turns off all her lights. First I quietly tried all the downstairs windows, in the rooms with out any lights on, but no such luck. I climb just high enough to where I'm barely over the car port on my left side.

I awkwardly make my way over to it. Holding on with all my might, I stick out my foot, and place it to the top of the car port. I shift my weight to my left foot, and try to gracefully transport the rest of my body quietly to the car port, but this is unsuccessful. I fall hard on my left side, causing a loud noise emanating from the metal onning underneath me. This is when I start sweating, curl up into the fetal position, and pray to god that Amy doesn't investigate this noise and come out and catch me.

When Amy got home that night, at precisely eleven thirty four, she brushed her teeth, changed, and she went straight to bed. She wanted to get all the sleep she could, as her brand new boyfriend had promised her breakfast first thing in the morning. She liked her new boyfriend a lot and one thing that caught her particular attention about this one, was that she could finally get pregnant. She could finally have the family she had always wished for, and that clingy dyke was not in her way any more.

She almost cringed as she thought of Sally, those exact words catching her attention. "Clingy dyke" She sighed, as she thought back to a time when Sally had meant so much more to her, then she closes her eyes and tries to block it out. She turns over on to her right side, and pulls the covers over her head.

"Oh well" she exclaimed aloud, for some odd reason. "It's all over now, so none of it matters."

Within minutes she was asleep, and by this time, yes, of course it was all over, but in reality it did kind of matter. At least to some people any way.

Try Again

I've waited here, curled up into a ball, staying as silent as I can, holding my breath for what seemed like endless hours, waiting for Amy's expected inspection, but it never came. I slowly shift my weight to my right side, bringing me on all fours, facing the car ports top.

This window had better be open, because I'm a bitch about heights. I slowly crawl over to the window, and peer through it from a distance. I can't see in there because the lights are off, but I sense it's okay to enter anyway. I move slowly closer to it, and gently place my hands on the base of the window. I open the window slowly, thinking about my sweetie pie, my precious dumpling. I will be with her tonight.

What?

Tails removes his metal wrist watch and placed it on the night stand next to him. He kicks off his shoes, and removes his socks, disregarding them onto the floor. He fiddles with the alarm clock, setting it for six in the morning. He did not have to be there until seven, and her house was only ten minutes away, but he really wanted to leave a good impression on her. In fact, he wanted to be there early. He was really excited about breakfast in the morning. He pulled the tiny metal chain dangling beneath the lamp shade of his light, making the room pitch black except for the small glowing red letters on his alarm clock.

The window leads to a hall. From the window you can either take a right and go down stairs, or you can take a left which leads to a dead end, and two doors facing each other on either side. Both doors are closed. The one the right, Amy's bed room. The one on the left is Amy's bathroom. I slowly unzip the bag, and pull out the tazer. I creep towards the door on my right. At the pace I'm going, in order to stay quiet the hallway seems to stretch on for miles.

As I finally approach the dead ends, I slowly stride to the right, and press against the door. My hand touches the door, and I'm getting excited. Here she is, right here in this room, awaiting me to be with her, awaiting our final embrace, and our journey together into eternity. I slowly twist the knob, careful to do this extremely slowly.

I can't fuck this up, and rush it, because she might wake up. This has to be perfect. After a few minutes of turning the knob, I gently press forward, slowly opening the door, just as I hear the toilet flush and the door open behind me.

Oh, fuck.

Dealing With The Situation

I spin around quickly, looking Amy right in the eyes. She is wide eyed, and frozen, unable to think about what is really happening. She is unable to take this in for what it really is for a few seconds, stunned just long enough for me to take advantage of the situation. I tackle her, shoving the business end of the tazer into her jugular, and squeezing down on the button. She convulses wildly, then goes limp, passing out on the floor of her hallway.

I look down at her unconscious body, and I can't help but think about how cute she looks. Time to get down to brass tacks, what ever the fuck that really means. I flip the duffel bag over my shoulder, and unzip it. I pull out a piece of rope and tie her hands in front of her tightly together. After binding her hands, I pick her up, my arms under her arm pits, and I drag her down stairs into her living room.

I leave her on her back , next to the rug in the center, and I walk over to the wall by the kitchen and turn all the lights on for the kitchen, living room, and surrounding hallways. I make my way over to the kitchen, and open her refrigerator, rummaging through it. I pick out the strongest alcoholic beverage I can find, which is tequila, and I pour myself a tall glass. I take a large sip, or two as I walk back to the living room, and set the glass down on the coffee table.

I walk over to the duffel bag and dump out all the contents on to the very center of the room in the middle of an oval rug.

"You and you're silly decorations" I say aloud as I extract the lighter fluid from the pile.

I spray lighter fluid all over the pile, dousing the pile of clothes, letters, trinkets and pictures with the heavy stench of lighter fluid. She empties the remaining contents onto the rug around it. I Pull a cigarette from my pocket, the last one I will ever smoke, and light it with my Amy matching pink lighter. Pink ignites the torch that will be the death of me.

I leave the cigarette in my mouth as I come around Amy from behind her, sitting her torso up, and facing her towards the pile. I wrap my legs around her waist, one arm across her chest and, the other around her neck. My head comes over her right shoulder, and nuzzles against her sleeping cheek. I exhale, blowing smoke into her face from the side, and my body fills with excitement as I watch her eyes flutter.

This is when Amy stirs.

"Why are you doing this? What the fuck are you doing exactly?"

I'm not too fond of her tone.

"You shall see soon enough, my sweet little lemon pie"

"Fuck you, you fucking dyke!"

I nuzzle my cheek to hers, and draw back to whisper in her ear.

"There's no need for this kind of aggression, baby"

I caress her soft face, with my coarse hands. She shutters as I touch her.

"I demand to know what is going on"

I smirk, and toy with her some more.

"I'm bringing us closer together. This will all be over soon." Smoke emanates with my words.

She starts to sob. I can't bear to see her like this. I hold down her arms with the arm across her chest, and grab the cigarette from my mouth with the other hand.

"Please!" I love it when she begs. "Don't do this to me, Sally! I love you... Just.. Please.." She continues sobbing.

I hit the cigarette one last time, and hold it in, choosing my next words carefully. After a moment, I exhale into her face again, and she squirms.

"I love you too, Amy... " These are my last words to her, as I flick the cigarette into the pile, the pile igniting into a huge flame immediately.

She begins thrashing wildly, and I have to embrace her with all four limbs as tight as I can. I keep saying things into her ear, but she doesn't pay any attention to them. I tell her Shhh, it will all be okay. This will be over soon, I promise. She screams louder and louder as the flames grow wildly, and I can feel the heat getting closer.

It will all be over soon, and none of this will matter.

The water has reached my face, and I have relaxed even more, I closed my eyes, and have finally stopped hyperventilating. In fact, I'm not breathing much at all for some reason. I stop breathing for a few seconds, then occasionally pick my breath back up, inhaling very shallow breaths of oxygen. I exhale very slowly. I close my eyes and feel very comfortable. Here, I think, is where I accidentally fall asleep.

The flames reach Amy's legs, and she has screamed her self hoarse by this time. She has no tears left to cry, but she is not yet too exhausted to thrash wildly about. Sally holds on for dear death, and closes her eyes, enjoying their final embrace as they both feel the flames licking at their legs. The ceiling caves in, raining down flaming wood on top of Amy and Sally

Are You Sure About That?

She wakes up, and gasps, realizing just seconds too late where she went wrong. As soon as she comes to the conclusion that she is completely submerged in her bathtub, in which she had fallen asleep, she had already gasped, filling her lungs with the water she had been laying in. Everything goes black, and finally she can get over any worldly problems she ever had...

Amy stirs to the extremely annoying beeping sound, emanating from the alarm clock on the night stand next to her. She glances over at the clock.

It's four minutes past six. Might as well just get up now, she thinks to her self. She gets up, and undresses from her pajamas, and into her usual attire. A blouse and a skirt. She decides to go ahead and take thirty minutes to apply her fake face, or make up rather.

After this is done, she hops down stairs and goes to the front door. She has decided to read the paper until Tails, her new boy friend comes over to pick her up for breakfast. She walks out onto her lawn, she can see the dew on the grass, the little beads of water sitting on the extraordinarily green grass, undisturbed.

She walks down her cement path way, to the end of her lawn where she picks up the news paper. The plastic its wrapped in, is also covered in tiny beads of water, which makes her gloves damp. She takes the paper back into the house, and rips open the plastic, discarding the plastic into a nearby waist basket.

She unfolds the paper and her eyes widen as she sees the headline of the first page. The news about Sally's death shocks her in ways she never thought it could. She drops the paper on the floor and plops down in her arm chair. She spaces out, looking up at the ceiling, thinking about her love of the past. She had only left her three days ago, and never got a chance, or even tried to make peace with her before she died. The phone begins ringing loudly. Amy does nothing, trying to absorb the enormity of it all.

Some times we don't realize how much we love some one until they drown themselves in their bath tub.