Disclaimer: I don't own the Evil Overlord List. The Evil Overlord List belongs to Himizu and Ryouko, from This version has slight changes made to have it be funnier to those familiar with the in- progress Hudei Novel. I do own the in-progress Hudei Novel, and some of the ideas in it also belong to the real Kyoko, Shiro, and Erico! Enjoy!

Evil Overlord List, Items 1-12

Tret and his alter-ego, Souta, stood in front of curtains, ready to begin.

"Item 1… My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones."

The curtain was pulled back, revealing Saounga(Souta's dad) standing on a platform watching his troops (AKA, various members of the Cast) who were wearing black visors. They could not see, so they bumbled around awkwardly, crashing into walls and each other. Saounga put his head in his hands and shook his head in frustration.

"Item 2… My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through."

The curtain was pulled back to show various members of the Cast crawling through ventilation ducts, able to access every area of Saounga's fortress. Saounga made several notes, then sent in a team of Dark Elf carpenters to make the ducts smaller… and try to trap Char in the process, but on that note, they were unsuccessful.

"Item 3… My noble half-brother, whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon." Tret paused. "I feel like I should make a disclaimer after the viewers see this scene…"

"By all means…" said Souta. "I kinda feel the same way."

The curtain pulled back to show Saounga dragging Vlad(father of Raeana) down to a forgotten cell in his dungeon, then stopping, and thinking about this, before smiling evilly and drawing his sword. Souta whistled, and he stopped, shrugged, and put it back.

"See, the reason I made Vlad his half-brother is that, you know Saounga is a Dark elf or whatever… some kind of evil "creature"… and I've done too many RPG's where Vlad is also partly evil, which makes sense since I've thought they're supposed to be allies, but I thought it would be kinda funny, especially since Vlad is a vampire and supposed to be his ally… but Saounga's not really going to kill Vlad, ARE YOU?"

Saounga blinked. Tret glared. Saounga glared back. The pair stood there and glared at each other for a while. Vlad took the opportunity to leave.

"ITEM 4!" Souta yelled, causing the two glarer's to jump and stare at him in surprise. Souta treated them to a glare of his own and Saounga went back behind the curtain to prepare for the next scene, while Tret came to stand next to Souta, muttering under his breath as he did so.

"Item 4… Shooting is not too good for my enemies… Oh my… who came up with that?"

"How about swords?" Saounga asked.

"NO! GUNS!" Tret yelled at him.

"Fine…" muttered Saounga.

The curtain came up, showing Saounga grinning like a maniac and shooting a machine gun at Shiro and Char.

"You know, I'm starting to see why you two like these things so much…" Saounga admitted as he made Char dance by shooting bullets at his feet.

"Would we ever steer you wrong…" Saounga nodded. "You didn't let me finish! Would we ever steer you wrong in regards to weapons?" asked Souta,

"Ah… excellent point."

"Thank you. Anyways… Item 5… The artifact that is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object that is my one weakness."

The curtain goes up to show Saounga taking the artifact away from right under the noses of the sleeping Dragons and putting it in his safe-deposit box.

"They were horrible guardians anyway…" he muttered.

"Item 6… I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them."

A badly drawn cartoon of Saounga standing over Shiro and Char and pointing and laughing at them with his sword in hand appears. Finally the cartoon shows Shiro and Char getting mad and killing him. Saounga's eyes widen slowly and he begins to make notes on a clipboard.

"Item 7… When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No" and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him, then say "No"."

Another badly drawn cartoon appears, also showing Saounga standing over Shiro and Char. After Shiro asks him what this is all about, Saounga begins a very long-winded explanation, which takes many hours. In the meantime, Shiro and Char escape and bring back troops to defeat Evil Overlord Saounga, who is still babbling about his plans for world domination. Saounga's eyes widen even more and he continues to make frantic notes.

"Item 8… After I kidnap the beautiful princess(or handsome prince, for those who are girls), we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out."

"Tret…"

"What?"

"Who's going to be the princess…?"

"Um… about that…"

"Tret…"

"Well, I wanted to use Kyoko, but that seemed SO wrong."

"Yeah…"

"And Erico and Raeana don't really "look" the part…"

"Oh no…"

"So the only one left is…"

"Oh man… he's not gonna like this…"

"Well, would he rather…"

"No, shut up, you're going to say something stupid and I don't wanna hear it!"

"Fine!"

The curtain pulled back, revealing Saounga in a spiffy tuxedo, looking very classy… the princess bride was Aika(in actual fic-reality, Saounga's future wife, since his former wife died). Saounga's eye twitched madly as he walked up to where Kuro(Shiro's evil brother) was standing, playing the part of the priest. He glared at Shiro and Char, who were decorating the wedding area lavishly.

"It's supposed to be simple, fools!" Saounga exclaimed.

"I never thought I'd see it…" Shiro said, snickering.

Saounga's eyebrow twitched.

"Ahem… moving on! Item 9… I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such."

Saounga cackled as he watched Char push the big red button and dance around trying to avoid the bullets. Amazingly enough, he did, but Souta might have been helping with that. He needed Char to keep playing the buffoon in his Evil Overlord List.

"Item 10… I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum… a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well."

Saounga snapped his fingers at Erico, who was wearing a chauffeur's uniform. They drove a fancy limo to a Day's Inn to interrogate the enemy. How Tret and Souta created the illusion of a Day's Inn inside their studio, the world will never know.

"Item 11… I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat."

Saounga smirked as he was given permission to kill various anonymous demons who were representing his weaker enemies. The only note he left said "$# YOU!" There were no clues or riddles.

"Which of course, does not mean that Saounga-san isn't smart enough to do those things if he wanted to, he's just choosing not to," Souta said.

"Right… you keep telling yourself that…" Tret muttered. Souta glared.

"Anyways… Item 12… One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation."

"Well, we don't have any five-year-old children… but Kyoko will do."

The curtain was pulled back to show Kyoko eating her peanuts while Saounga explained his plans. Finally Saounga got mad because Kyoko wasn't listening and set many things in the studio on fire.

"ACK! What the heck are you doing, Saounga!" screamed Tret.

"This is getting ridiculous," Saounga snapped.

"Someone needs anger management classes," Tret growled. Saounga laughed.

"Try and make me take some," he challenged. Tret growled and an aura of darkness and fire appeared behind him.(did I mention he is half demon, related to shiro, and his half demon side is a fire-controlling kitsune?)

"CONTROL YOUR TEMPER!" He yelled at him.

"You should talk…" Souta muttered. Tret glared at him.

"All right, cut! That's enough for today. But we still have 88 items to go, so be ready when I tell you to be! Got it?" Souta called to the Hudei Cast. Incoherent mumbling answered him. He sighed. "It's hopeless…"

TO BE CONTINUED...