Seems so hard; all I want to do is let down my guard...
Glinda Upland stared out of her window, looking down from her high perch on the bustling citizens below. They stood clustered around a metal structure that held a wooden podium that looked as if it were sprouting a microphone. The structure was painted sea green, decorated with emerald green lights, and accented with forest-green balls of fluff, Glinda's signature embellishment. She was decked out in a white dress that resembled a trench coat of sorts; brownish-black buttons, one inch in diameter, were placed at intervals up her left side, holding the felted white fabric to her petite frame. The neck dipped in a V, revealing creamy white skin and a diamond necklace that Fiyero had given to her at some social gathering. She was preparing to go down there and give a speech, sing a song, and announce an engagement...
She rested her elbows on the window frame, sighing, staring at the twinkling lights below her. Green. Glimmering, sparkling. Just like her hazel eyes used to when they were learning about air currents...
Elphie. Her Elphie. Her friend. No, her best friend. The one person Glinda could truly be herself around. There were no barriers between the two of them. No restricted comments, no subjects that had to be avoided, nothing that had to be hidden.
...laugh like a child and play out in the yard...
There had been many a summer afternoon when the two girls would set out towards the lake, carrying a blanket and a basket full of food. They had their own special spot for picnics -- a meadow in a secluded grove of pine and oak trees alike on the shore of the lake. They'd walk in silence to the middle of the meadow, where they'd lay out the blanket -- Glinda would always make sure it was totally flat, void of any creases -- and, setting the basket aside, kick off their sandals and let the soft grass tickle their toes. Elphie's skin was a vibrant green against that of the grass; Glinda always thought it complemented her emerald hue perfectly. Elphaba would sit with her legs stretched out in front of her, leaning back and supporting herself on her hands. Glinda would one day take delight in finding that Elphie didn't mind it when Glinda propped herself up against her friend, her golden curls framing Elphaba's clavicles, her back pressed up against Elphaba's taut stomach, their legs making a V on the ground in front of them.
...I want to feel safe again.
How Glinda missed those days. The hours of talking, of laughing, of heated debates that Elphie always won, then of companionable silence. The days she spent with Elphaba had always been her most treasured memories of Shiz. The most treasured memories of my life, in all honesty... she thought to herself.
I don't know... what happened to you, where did you go?
Elphaba had disappeared after the incident with the Wizard, leaving Glinda in the social position she had always dreamed of: beloved, even needed by the public, for reassurance, and for her ability to radiate happiness. She just hadn't been prepared to reassure them that though her best friend was still a threat (how they could even think that the kind, though opinionated, gentle, green girl could be a threat to them, she did not know. Sure, Elphie harnessed extreme power, but she would never use it to harm anyone, and Glinda knew this like the back of her hand), that they would soon be rid of her, and Goodness would reign once again. From what Glinda heard through the grapevine, Elphie had been staying with some rebel Animals who had given her shelter and food, but she could never be sure. All Glinda knew was that she missed her best friend, wherever she was.
Every once in awhile, when Glinda was up on the podium speaking to the crowd gathered around her, she would think that she'd see a flash of green weaving its way through the throng of people. She would smile, feeling her heart beat faster in her chest at the prospect that Elphie was near, and that perhaps she would sneak into Glinda's room that evening, and embrace her, holding her the way she used to when there was a thunderstorm and the two girls were curled up in bed next to each other...
...Wish I could not feel the cold wind blow...
A gust of icy air blasted Glinda in the face, jolting her back to reality. She sighed and turned away from the window, covering her face with her small, delicate hands, making sure not to smudge the makeup she had spent more than an hour doing earlier that morning. She walked over to the mirror and table where she usually perched to do her hair and makeup and sat heavily on the stool, sinking into the pink padding that lined it.
...I want to feel safe again.
She closed her eyes, remembering the strong arms that encircled her when the cracks of thunder outside startled her from sleep, and how she would press herself tightly against her best friend's warm torso, glad for the heat and the safety that Elphaba had always silently promised her.
If only I could believe that everything will soon be like all the fairy tales I've read...
She imagined that one day, the door to her room would open, and Elphie, her Elphie, would be standing there, weary and worn, but smiling. She would stretch her arms out to her sides, inviting Glinda in, and Glinda would rush toward her best friend, neglecting whatever nail polish or curling iron she had in her hand, laughing and crying at the same time. She would crash into the green girl, heaving sobs into her friend's strong shoulders, feeling the green girl's angled chin resting on her head. She would look up into those hazel eyes, sparkling like they once did in their sorcery class, or on those summer days, and whisper how glad she was to finally feel safe in those arms, safe in those eyes, safe again. She imagined that Elphaba would squeeze her gently, and tell her that she would never let go ever again...
...but I feel so lost and naked, and I wake up with the shape of a dream in my head.
But Glinda knew not to get her hopes up. She knew that no matter how much she dreamt about her best friend that nothing short of a dermatological miracle could bring the two together again. Elphaba would never be accepted for who she was on the inside, no matter if Glinda forced her fans, those who followed her every move, to believe that the green girl was no more evil than they were, or if Elphaba was somehow able to climb the ranks of the social pyramid herself. Even that wouldn't help, Glinda mused sadly. There was nothing she could do but wait and see if Elphaba returned to her.
Seems so hard... all I want to do is let down my guard, and get through just one more day unscarred...
Glinda stood, and, glancing in the mirror and taking a tissue off the table in front of it, dabbed carefully at the rims of her eyes, which had begun to moisten. She sucked in a breath of air, cleared her throat and smiled charmingly at her mirror. She looked perfect: her golden curls were tied into a tight, though not austere, bun on the top of her head, her outfit clung to her body, accenting, though not flaunting her shapely figure, and her makeup brightened her cheeks and brought out her azure eyes. The only thing that was missing was the tall, raven-haired beauty who was supposed to be standing next to her, holding her hand, and kissing her cheek. She brushed the image from her mind, batted her long lashes at the mirror, and prepared to leave the room that looked out over the city.
...I want to feel safe again...
She stepped gracefully down the stairs, nodding and smiling politely to those who passed her, and opened the door that led to the street where the podium stood. She walked quickly behind it, so as not to be seen, and took one last deep breath before climbing the steps to the microphone. She stood in front of it and smiled, cheers from the crowd erupting around her. She nodded, inclining her head at a few prestigious social figures who sat in chairs around the edges of the crowd, and waited for the applause to die down. "Fellow Ozians," she began once the crowd had quieted, "as terrifying as terror is..."
She smirked ruefully to herself, thinking that Elphaba would have been amused at her choice of words and style of articulation. No, she thought to herself, you mustn't get distracted. That comes later. They expect your reassurance... but how nice it would be to be reassured that she is alright...
...safe again...
"...Let us put aside our panic for this one day..."
Her eyebrows raised as she saw the point of a black hat bobbing through the crowd, ducking and meandering through the multitude of nameless faces. She paused, her breath caught in her throat, as the hat inched to the edge of the crowd, then finally revealed the black cloak that draped the body beneath it. Glinda coughed, choking on the breath she was holding, as the hat was lifted slightly to show the angled features of Miss Elphaba Thropp, Third Descending, who proceeded to smile at Glinda, mouth the words "I miss you," and disappear back into the crowd.
"And celebrate!"
...with you.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: First songfic, let me know what you think. :)
Credit goes to Gregory Maguire and Carole King.