Summary: Written for comment-fic at LJ. Prompt (paraphrased): Post 5.09 "The Rundown Job." The team ensures Eliot's recovery, with some parental hovering from Nate and Sophie. They should have known better than to let the kids work a job alone after all.
AN: I really wanted to call this something like "One Shot," just for the sake of the awesome pun, but alas, Eliot got shot twice, not once. Perhaps some other time…This title is from the Filter song of the same name.
Hey Man Nice Shot
"Parker, what do you mean, he got shot?!" Nate shouts into the phone from his side of the bed.
Sophie immediately sits up next to him and asks, "Hardison? Hardison got shot? Is he alright?"
"No, Eliot," Nate says in an aside to her, "Eliot got shot."
While Sophie's trying to sort out the complete inconceivability of Eliot getting shot - the role of team invalid is usually relegated to either Nate or Hardison, which is ironic because they are typically the least physically active, least in the field members of the team - Parker elaborates on Eliot's injuries.
"Twice!" she shouts on the other end, so that Sophie can hear her, too.
Nate winces and pulls the phone away from his ear. He then puts it on speaker.
"Eliot got shot twice?" he asks to clarify. "What hospital are you guys at?" He rolls out of bed to get dressed and Sophie does the same.
"We're not at a hospital," Parker scoffs happily, "He's sewing himself up right now. Hardison threw up and then he fainted."
"Oh," says Nate.
"Dear," finishes Sophie. "Who fainted, Parker?" she asks, feeling slightly guilty for hoping for one "he" over the other.
"Hardison," comes Parker's matter-of-fact answer. "Duh."
"Good," Nate says, relieved.
He can almost swear that he hears a comforting litany of "What? What do you mean, 'good,' man? 'Good.' There was blood, okay? And yous all know how not good I am with real blood - that's very not good" start in the background.
"Ooh, gotta go," the thief says, "Eliot wants me to do up his back." She hangs up in an abrupt, Parker-like manner.
"She says that as if he wants her to zip up the back of his dress," Sophie says, a little dazed.
Nate shakes that disturbing image out of his mind with a small shudder.
"To D.C.?" he asks.
"To D.C.," Sophie agrees with a worried sigh and finishes putting her clothes back on.
One job. One job without their supervision, and Eliot gets hurt. No, actually, Eliot getting hurt is the (regrettable, yet rarely preventable) norm. However, Eliot getting shot is a different matter.
Twice. Twice indeed. She hopes whoever did it is bloody well dead because if he isn't, she'll make him suffer for it. Quite. She already has a plan for that. It's called Plan "Don't you dare lay a finger on my family, you damn, dirty wanker!"