This is the first thing I ever wrote for FFnet. I repost it unflinchingly.

It's 2:29 as I sit here in front opf the blank white screen and the blinking cursor. I had a funny idea but I am not quite sure where to go with it.. Well, fuck, here goes.

Disclaimer

I dont own sonic, I am just ruining its good name.

That fuckin bitch. How could she do it? Leave me? ME? I'm Sonic the fuckin hedgehog! If it weren't for me that fucking strumpet wouldn't be alive, and she has the ovaries to fuck with me?

Okay, so maybe I cheated on her... So what? People get bored, life gets boring, so what? I mean like.. She wasn't puttin out...

Look, the bitch left me, and thats all you really need to know. Fuck that!

I'm sorry, I am so fucking sorry.

I fucked Amy. She was around, and she was willing. That bitch was fucking crazy though.

This was not my fault.

Liar.

I swear.

Bullshit.

"What you gave me, you can NEVER take back you fucking scumbag!"

Those were the last words Sally said to me. I loved her. Love her. Right.

And her tits.

Honestly, mostly her tits.

And she wasn't crazy.

Fuck Amy. I mean that both ways.

I fucked her, but you know, Fuck her. I try to stay away from that clingy whore as much as I can.

When I am not fucking her.

I didn't say that.

Okay, so I was her first, and I made her a whore. So what?

Our relationship was pure. Not me and Amys.. That bitch was crazy. Me and Sallys.

Our relationship was pure, and built on trust. And love. And happiness.

Once...

I think.

It doesn't matter. I loved her. Damn right I loved her. She was hot, plus I have a thing for squirrels...

She is a squirrel, right?

It doesn't matter.

"You need to get a job!" she would say.

That doesn't matter... It is not important.

I think god has it out for me.

I think Amy must have fucked at least everyone in the Freedom Fighters at least once. Girls and guys.

I think.

Maybe I am just making shit up, but I know she fucked a lot of people.

You can never be too sure.

I loved Sally though. I only fucked Amy out of boredom.

Liar.

Sally wasnt crazy, or at least AS crazy. All women are crazy. Too much X, not enough Y.

It's the chemical imbalance.

As was gods decree.

I stray from the point...What was the point?

Sally! Yes, Sally, that is correct!

I liked Sallys tits.

I liked Sally alot more than amy.

Amy was clingy.

Sally bitched alot, but never creeped me out.

Amy creeps me out.

"What you have taken from me, you can never give back"Amy would shout.

A gift to one, a theft from another.

I got into Amy's pants with drugs. I got into Sallys with bullshit. I can't help but feel like this is all partially my fault

No way.

Okay, I think you are confused. Maybe I am just confused, but it doesnt fucking matter.

Look here.

So it happened like this. I sweet talked Amy into fucking me first right? Now, this was before I fucked Sally.

Okay, so I didn't sweet talk her, I slipped her a pill, but she had to see me put it in her drink right?

She can't be that dumb.

Excuse.

Shut up.

So after she fucks me, she turns into a whore.

Well, I kind of fucked her.

That doesn't matter.

What matters is that I sought a more meaningful relationship with Sally.

Those majestic tits.

I basically knew exactly what she needed to hear.

She was puddy.

Then she started bitching, and stopped the fucking.

"Why do you drink so much?" that bitch would exclaim.

"Could you help me with the dishes?" The cunt could occaisionally ask.

I was trapped in a world I didn't like.

Yeah I fucked Amy again.

I am not proud of it. In fact I am burning for it now.

I didn't notice anything unusual for a while.

Everything seemed dandy.

Amy started calling the house.

I was lucky, and I answered the phone every time.

She told me if I didn't break up with sally, that she would kill her.

I laughed, then hung up on her.

This happened a few times.

I told that bitch to stop calling.

She never listened.

I got smart and blocked her.

That wasn't what got me caught.

Those god damn sores.

So, yeah... I fucked Amy.

It was not worth it.

Did you know that you can get herpes from head?

I sure as fuck didn't.

Did you know it can take weeks for symptoms to show?

I sure as fuck did not.

Anyway, Amy started to call the house.

I blocked her number.

A brick came through our window.

Our dog turned up with intestines on the outside.

Sally had no idea.

I buried the dog, blamed the window on some kids.

I had to kill Amy.

I choked her in her house.

I pretended I was interested, then I choked her to death.

Maybe what I did was a little drastic.

I might have over reacted.

Sally gave me head. I had gotten her a ring, and given her a reason to.

We were getting married.

Her blisters showed up before mine. On the corner of her mouth.

She was a little more than pissed.

Mine showed up a few days later.

I didn't really think about it much, until my genitals started burning, and itching at the same time.

The blisters first open, then heal as new skin forms.

It burns to pee.

It makes you feel like you have the flu.

You may be asking yourself if this information is important.

Fuck you.

I'm sorry.

Liar.

Sally was not happy either.

"What you gave me, you can NEVER give back, you fucking shit head!"

These words echo through my mind.

The insult always changes, because I have a bad memory.

I think.

She attacked me first... Okay, she just slapped me in the face.

Nobody touches my face.

I pushed my thumbs into her eye sockets. I think I pushed her eyes all the way into her brain.

It was self defense, judge.

Liar.

My home now is jail. My cell mate, Robotnik.

There isn't any where to run in a cell.

Herpes... Mother fucker.

My theft from Amy.

Amy's gift to me.

My gift to sally.

Sallys betrayal.

My gift to Robotnik.

It is an endless cycle.

I laugh alot now. It's all kind of funny to me.

Then I cry my self to sleep.

-

VD