A/N - Short little ficlet that would most likely take place around Eclipse. Probably a oneshot. Inspired by a dream. Lol.

Disclaimer - I do not own Twilight or any of the following books; go attack Stephenie Meyer instead, 'cause it's her fault. :P

He was sitting on the beach - our beach, my thoughts whispered - his knees propped up loosely and his arms resting on them. His toes were digging into the sand, his hands clenching and unclenching themselves in some unknown emotion. With his back to me, I couldn't see the expression on his face.

Was he angry with me? Was he sad? Was he worried or frustrated? Or was he just sitting there, enjoying the sunset as it dipped into the water?

Biting my lower lip, I approached him. I was being as quiet and cautious as my body would allow, my eyes watching the sand at my feet closely for anything that might make me pull a Bella. Finally, I was standing right behind him. My mouth opened for me to say something. To announce my presence, to ask him what he was doing... to apologize. I always felt like apologizing to Jake.

But in the end, I just didn't know how to do it. The words in my head all seemed wrong and out of place. They wouldn't work for Jake; they weren't good enough. So with a sigh and a shake of my head, I turned to go. Maybe there just wasn't any point to me staying anymore...

"Bella."

His voice was soft and gentle. It reminded me of the old Jake, my Jake. The one who was soft and boyish, filled with laughter and comfort. The one who put me back together when I couldn't even find all the pieces.

I missed that Jake.

He didn't tell me to stay, but he didn't tell me to go. Like this was my choice. And it wasn't just a choice of whether to sit and watch the sunset with him, or to go home and start Charlie's dinner. This was Jake's way of saying "decide, Bella. Please, just decide". And if he were really speaking to me and we were really having that conversation I could hear him saying "and if you don't pick me, I get it." Even though it would crush him. "If you want me to leave you alone, I will." Even though it would crush me. "But don't ever ask me to stop loving you. Because I know I can't."

And I would cry, because I would know it was true. And he would wrap me in his arms, he would comfort me, tearing his heart into yet another piece. And I would hold him tightly, bury my face in his warmth. And I would question in that moment why it was I was still going to choose Edward. I would question it until that night, when I was away from Jake and wrapped in Edward's cold embrace instead. And I remember I loved him, too. I loved him first.

"Jake..." I tried to cover the choke in my voice, but still I broke on his name.

I saw his shoulders slump just slightly, the only movement to suggest he had heard me - and that he understood my meaning. I was choosing Edward again.

The sun was getting lower, the ocean still drifting in and out softly, Jake's bare feet digging in the sand, his hands clenching and unclenching. Without thinking of the consequences, or how it would make things hurt so much worse that night when I left to be with Edward again, I dropped down into the sand behind him. I mimicked his position, leaning my front flush to his bare back and wrapping my arms around his middle. Intense warmth spread through me, fighting off the chill that was hinting of the night to come and I rested my head against his shoulder.

I felt the rush of air as he exhaled heavily. I imagined his eyes closing tightly, his jaw clenched shut. I imagined tension and trembling in his entire body, even his toes curling in restraint.

But I felt none of that. His body remained pliant against mine, muscles relaxed and moving only with his slow breaths. His arm shifted on his knee, moving down to grab one of mine gently and lift it up. He brought it to his lips and placed a hot, soft kiss there. I held him tighter to me with my other hand, pressing my body further into him.

I didn't want to let go.

We spent the rest of the sunrise together on the beach, entwined like that, just staring at the water as it began to glow a bright orange as though on fire. And when it was gone, I finally let go. I finally got up. I finally went to my beat up old truck that used to be his. I finally drove home, mumbling a "g'night dad" to Charlie when i got there. I finally went upstairs and fell into bed. I finally felt the cold, solid arms of Edward wrap around me.

I finally promised myself that I couldn't keep doing this with Jacob anymore and I finally cried myself to sleep.

A/N - Thoughts?