Title: Don't Tell Your Mum
Author: Shen
Rating: PG-13
Setting/Spoilers: Post-Doomsday, tiny spoilers for Utopia
Characters: Rose, Ten, Jack, Jackie Tyler
Teaser: There are some important things Rose never mentioned to her mum. One-shot OT3 crack.
Author's note: This is my first OT3 fic, actually written on a dare. Doesn't mean I didn't put effort into it, though, so please read and give concrit if you feel so inclined!

Jackie Tyler sat snug on the couch next to her daughter, both taking in a movie. Quite out of the blue, a familiar sound echoed through the house - the TARDIS?! The pair looked at each other in shock, confirming that neither was merely hearing things, and then they propelled themselves off the couch and set off at a run. Spry Rose reached the blue box first, while her mother stopped five feet behind her, lingering in the hall. The ship had landed in the foyer!

The Doctor stepped out, and for a moment, both he and Rose froze. Then, the Doctor smiled, and Rose rocketed into his arms with something akin to a squeal.

"You're back; you found a way!" Rose spoke into his neck while the Doctor breathed words into her hair.

"I missed you; I had to; I'm so glad you wanted me to…" After mere seconds of hugging and sweet nonsense, Rose pulled back and began to snog the daylights out of the alien. Jackie got a warm feeling in her chest. She may not have always approved of the relationship, but seeing her daughter so happy and in love after months of discontent – in varieties both obvious and visible only to mother-vision – gave her a sense of peace. She smiled indulgently at the couple and turned away to give them privacy. However, two steps down the hall, she heard the Doctor speak again.

"We're really glad to see you again." Jackie would never call herself nosy, but she did let herself turn around to get one last glance. She saw her daughter smile and reverently run a hand down the side of the blue box.

"Yeah, I can hear the old girl singing."

"In that case, I mean we three are happy." The Doctor wore a cryptic smile, and Rose looked puzzled. Just then, a dark-haired man stepped out of the ship with a lop-sided, toothy grin. She recognized him as that charming American friend of her daughter's and remembered that he was always nicer than the scowling Northerner the Doctor had been at the time. At the sight of him, Rose gasped and covered her mouth with both hands, then breathed an, "ohmigod!"

"Hey, gorgeous," spoke the man. He was obviously trying for easy bravado, but Jackie's experienced ears could hear the heavy emotional undercurrent.

"Jack! You feel… weird," said Rose with obvious puzzlement, but then she shook her head. "But you're Jack, and you're alive, and I don't care!" Suddenly, she rushed towards Jack, who caught her with open arms, and the pair engaged in a desperate kiss.

Jackie was slightly shocked. Still, she could reason. Maybe her daughter had just got carried away with enthusiasm. She apparently had thought the man was dead. But… oh, dear. They were still going, and there was no sign of stopping. Jackie steeled herself and cautiously looked over at the Doctor. However, where she expected to see devastation or at least annoyance she saw a huge grin. The man looked like he might burst with happy. And, to her further surprise, he slipped behind her daughter, brushed aside her hair, and started giving obscene attention to her neck. With his mouth. His right hand covered Jack's on Rose's waist, and Jackie was grateful she couldn't see what his left one was doing.

For a few moments after this started, Jackie stood frozen. She had no idea what to do. Should she slip quietly away like she had tried to do a minute ago or drag her daughter out from the middle of her hunk sandwich? If she chose the latter, should she grab Rose's arm or her hair? Luckily, she was saved from the conundrum by Rose herself; the girl wriggled out from between the two men and put her hands up in a gesture of mock surrender. The men wore twin expressions of bewilderment colored over with the flush of desire.

"Hoo!" Rose began, a smile audible in her voice, "If this is a dream, I'm going to enjoy it how I like. I've never been with you both with that regeneration. Can you kiss for me?" At this point, Jackie Tyler began to hear a buzzing in her ears, but she could still see how Jack and the Doctor put on slow grins and began to reach for each other. Finally, as they were about to put lips to lips, Jackie found her voice.

"Wha-" she sputtered, "ROSE MARION TYLER!"

Rose didn't even look back when she responded, "Shut up, dream-Mum." The Doctor, however, jumped away from both Rose and Jack as if they had suddenly suggested a ban on marmalade (git always ate the last of it in her flat, whenever he had the chance).

"Your mother's there?!" His voice was at least an octave above normal. Meanwhile, Jack was looking at Rose with barely-concealed incredulity.

"Rose, you're not dreaming," he explained a little slowly. There was a pause.

"Seriously?"

"Yes, 'seriously!'" Jackie answered for the man, striding out of the hallway. Rose spun around, saw the look on her face, and leapt back in a manner similar to the Doctor's. Only Jack stayed put, wearing a slightly bemused expression.

"What do you think you're doing?!"

"Uuh…" Rose managed, eyes wide. The Doctor glanced at the TARDIS as if considering its merits as a shield.

"Going around space and time, meeting all sorts of immoral people, I trusted you because I did NOT raise you to be a- to engage in- I mean, two men! I don't care how gorgeous-"

"Mrs. T, you're so 21st century," Jack interrupted suddenly. The tone was more amused than derisive. And he smiled as if he found her quaint. Quaint!

"Like I told my team, you people and your quaint little categories." He even used the word! That was simply too much. Jackie strode purposefully up to him and pulled back her hand, but he caught it before her slap could connect.

"Whoa. No. I don't deserve that; I care very deeply for your daughter," he protested sternly. Perhaps emboldened by this, Rose spoke next.

"Yeah, mum, please don't be mad. I'm not some… wanton woman. The three of us, I mean-" she paused, clearly trying to gather her thoughts. "We were happy. And we were a great team. This physical part sort of… developed naturally. And I'm sorry I never told you, but I didn't think you'd understand, and I miss it, Mum, I miss it so much." Her eyes were pleading for understanding. Bugger, Jackie never could resist that look for long.

"Well," she started slowly, "I did say I trust you. But I still don't quite understa-"

"Right! Brilliant! I knew you'd come to terms with it in time, Jackie. And I want to catch up with you; I really do, but Jack and I have missed your daughter so much, I think it's time we caught up a bit. Don't you? Fantastic," rambled the Doctor as he walked up to Rose and grabbed an arm. Jack took the cue and grabbed her other one, and, before Jackie or even Rose knew what was going on, the three were inside the TARDIS. Jackie heard the lock click into place after the door fell shut.

"Wha- OI!"

END