Title: Playing with both hands
Author: MEG
Summary: Depressed after Sai's disappearance Hikaru find himself in front of Toya house. And Kyuko step in order to help his rival's legacy. However, will he alone be enough?
It was a nightfall already. Touya Kouyou wondered, who would ring at his door at such late time. He frowned. Akira-kun had a late game today. Did he forgot his keys? Or did something happened to him? With anxiety in his hearth he rushed a bit faster to the main door.
He opened the doors and looked out. No one stood immediately at the front door so he looked around. There was a person going back to the main street.
"Shindou-san?" He called a bit surprised. Through rumors and his son he knew the boy ignored all Go connected matters recently. He didn't even show for his matches in Institute, loosing all of them by default. "How can I help you?"
The boy stopped and turn around. He hesitated, making Kouyou look closely. The boy didn't look so well. "Please, come inside."
He opened the door wider and stepped back. Reluctantly Shindou come after him. In the bright light of the entrance he saw the child was in a rather bad shape. His lose clothes were crumpled, but didn't cover the fact the boy was slightly light-weighted. Bags under his eyes suggested trouble with sleeping. His overall posture was slouching, a total opposite to the self-assured teen he played with only few weeks before.
"Akira-kun isn't home. He has a teaching game."
"Ah... Oh..." The boy nodded slightly, clearly not knowing how to react.
"Would you like to have a cup of tea with me?"
Kouyou would be lying if he would tell he wasn't curious about what happened to the boy. He was interested in the young pro-player since the day Akira-kun admitted he lost to a kid about his age. The interested art he played his games, with almost no knowledge of the professional Go world pulled his attention even more. Not to mention, the kid helped him with arranging a match with Sai, someone he could see as his real rival...
In silence they enter the main room, where Hikaru took a seat. After a moment the host come back caring a tray with two cups of a steaming tea.
Shindou was looking at the brew deeply in thought. Kouyou decided to leave the boy be. If he decided to share his problem he was there to help him. If not... he would respect the young pro wishes.
Yet, a bit probing couldn't hurt.
"Shindou-san, what is the reason for your visit today?"
The boy come back from where ever his mind wandered, he looked up a bit flushed.
"I'm sorry... My legs kinda carried my here themselves... I didn't noticed it was so late already..."
He rushed as if to stand up, the older player stopped him. "Don't worry, it's all right."
He gave the boy a nod of assurance. "Can I help you with whatever is troubling you?"
The boy shocked his head. "No, I don't think so..."
The boy's mind began to wondered again, until his eyes stopped on a large picture handing at one of the walls. It showed a man musing over go-ban, behind him sakura tree within Japanese garden.
"Do you like this picture? It's a copy of a paint from Heian period. The original belonged once to Fujiwara clan."
"Fujiwara?" The child looked up, his attention sorely on his words.
"Yes. It's said when the Emperor had a great problem he went to meditate in front of that painting. I must admit, sometimes when I have a problem with a match, I also come to look at it. It help me to concentrate."
Shindou-kun looked at the picture again. He whispered almost inaudibly.
"Fujiwara... Is that why I am here?"
He had to come to a decision, because with a new resolve he turned to the retired Go player.
"Touya-sensei. Would you play a game with me?" Kyuko didn't expect such request. He stayed quiet, what prompted the boy to add pleadingly. "Maybe a shidougo game... Please."
It was quite important for the boy, it seams.
"Of course. Please, come with me."
They went to the den, and sat behind a Go-ban.
"You'll begin. Put three stones." He said. There stones were at with he usually played with Akira-kun. Though Shindou-kun had to be a bit rusty, not playing for quite some time.
"Onegaishimasu."
Kyuko noticed the hesitation with which the boy put the stones. As if expecting that the simple move will cause him some harm. There was a pain, almost psychical hurt in his eyes. While the game proceed the older player was frowning inwardly more and more. The game itself wasn't so bad. It was even brilliant in rare moments. But it wasn't a game he would expect from that child.
He self played with him only once, at the begin-dan series. However, he knew it wasn't how usually the child played. He studied Shindou's other kifus and knew those hands then were different. That one game had the intensity, the vehemence of an experienced, sophisticated player. While the boy had great potential, a real genius child, that then wasn't his usual hands. Those today also wasn't his usual hands.
Shindou played an energetic game. Full of traps and deceiving hands, like a beginner going against much stronger opponent. Solid and well thought, like a high level sophisticated players, like Sai or Shusaku. However, the hands that were played now...
The flow of the stones was ragged, torn. Almost similar to the boy overall appearance. He had an advantage here and there, but if he will not connect it fast, he would lose, badly. Since it was shidougo Kyuko tried to coax him to the right direction. However, the boy seams to ignore the hints, if he even noticed them. So he tried a different approach and attacked him head on.
The boy hesitated in his next move. The older man looked up, and saw tears falling from Shindou's face.
"Stupid, stupid Hikaru." The boy whispered to himself. Kyuko was sure the boy didn't meant only his last moves. "You never played a shidougo... Can we play again?"
There was something in the boys voice. As if his life would depend of it. And even if it was rude to not end a game...
"Of course."
Hikaru changed his position. He put the goke on his left side, and start to use his left hand to put the stones on the go-ban. The battle was more even. In fact, Kyuko had a hard time to believe it's the same player as in the last game. It didn't felt similar to any game he played previously. It wasn't a game he read from Shindou's kifus. It wasn't the game he played at the begin-dan series.
It was very similar to the game with Sai... however, it lacked the oppressive atmosphere and experience. Yet, the ingenious and novelty of the moves covered most of it's gabs. It was a rebuild of Shusaku games, not only including the modern moves, but also with moves that could become canon in the future. The game, with its infancy errors, was very refreshing for the experienced player.
In the end Hikaru had three stones more. With the komi, it made him loss with two and half moku.
Kyuko looked at his opponent, who was slowly gaining awareness, as if coming back from a deep trance. The boy looked at the go-ban and smiled for the first time that evening.
"The reverse of the first game with Touya." He commented the final result.
"You played more than excellent this time. In fact the level of this game was close, if not the same as the game with Sai... or the begin-dan series... " The last time was added with some consideration.
Hikaru shook his head. "No! No, that game and those games... Can't you see how far they are apart?" There was a sign of desperation in his voice.
Kyuko looked once again at the go-ban. To think that the boy on the opposite side was able to push him so much around... and claiming he isn't good enough? He may not have prepared for the game as he did in other cases... as he did before the game with Sai. However, it didn't meant that he didn't give his best. Did he once again found someone who he could claim to be his rival?
"It's not a game Sai would play..." He heard the murmur of his guest.
"No, it's not. But is a game Sai would be extremely proud of." Seeing that the boy don't get the point he tried again. "Sai is a master of the very high level. However, in the art he is playing his games there is very little room to improvement. He will learn and get better, of course. But for him to really improve, he would have to change the very way he is playing. The same way I did after my play with him. It's like the shape of a stone. It can get better and better, but at some point only making a new stone, with a new shape can win the game."
Kouyou saw that the boy didn't agree with him. "Look at the go-ban. In those places are shapes that Sai will probably never build. Some of the shapes need to be working at. However, there are shapes that are brilliant, blessed with the kami's hand."
"But... I can never play like Sai." For some reason that was something that upset the boy the most.
"No, you can't. You aren't him. Nevertheless, Sai's play will always be a part of your play." Thinking of all the missing games he added quietly. "If you will play, that is."
The boy stepped back from the go-ban. Hiding his face between his arms and knees he confessed.
"Sai isn't there anymore. He wanted only to play... But I... I was selfish... I wanted to play my own games. And now he is gone. I thought... I thought that if I promise to never play myself, that kami... That kami will give me him back... He wanted only to play Go. He wanted to be your rival... to reach Hand of God with you. Instead... in The Game it was I who saw a move that could be a Hand of God... and kami took him away..." Te boy sobbed.
While Kyuko was a highly traditional and proper man, he was also a caring husband and father. He crossed the go-ban and took the crying child in his arms. Because in this moment the pro Go player, the glorious prodigy was only a small boy in a need of consolation. From these words he understood that Sai, whom he suspected to be the boys mentor and maybe the closest friend died, leaving the boy in a deep depression. Shindou couldn't stand anything that remembered him of Sai, Go in particular, thus the thrown matches.
Seeing the boy half asleep he told him quietly. "It's late. You'll spent the night here, in the guest room. I'm sure some of Akira clothes will be your size."
"My mom..."
"I'll call her. Akira put your number in the address book. Come on, we will talk more tomorrow."
The next day after the evening visits Shindou wake up late, missing Akira who already was out for his matches. After a short breakfast he and Kyuko played three more games.
Kyuko observed that in two of those games, when the boy played with left hand, the game were on a very high level, with some more time and experience they would reach his own level. Though, the game with the right hand was different. It showed great potential, true, but the level was much lower. It was as if the boy would try to develop a style from a scrap, without previous experience. The older Go player frowned at the difference. Shindou explained then, he plays his own games when he plays right-hand. The play with left-hand wasn't his. It was Sai's.
Thinking about it Kouyou concluded, that for some reason Hikaru thinks that he can't play the high level games himself. So, he is using Sai, the person whose level he wanted to reach, as an excuse for his better play.
Seeking a way to help the boy he asked for a meeting in the future. Shindou was reluctant at first. However with Kouyou remark that it would be a disrespectfully toward Sai's memory if he would stop playing finally helped to change the boy mind. He agreed for a future game 'in the memory of Sai', and also promised to go back to the pro games.
tbc. r&r