A/N - We not own Twilight, this is for fun, enjoy Emmett kicking ass.

Chapter 1 - I arrived in Forks and Emmett kicked my ass.

I'm a 17 year old douchebag and I'm in love. At least I'm in lust, since I'm a teenage mothercookie I can never make up my mind if it's love or lust.

My first day in Forks, Washington was strange to say the least. I arrived with my "father", Dr. Carlisle Cullen to much fanfare and many questions. He's not my real father; he just adopted me when I was a kid after my parents couldn't handle me anymore. I have issues. I can't sleep, I drink, I smoke, and I don't give a duck about what anyone thinks. People learned quickly to stay away.

I met some cool people my first day, Jasper Whitlock and Alice Brandon. Jasper doesn't seem to give a duck about anything, either, and he snuck me a flask filled with gin. Good man. Alice is his hot girlfriend who supplied me with some smokes. Good woman.

I met one other person my first day that might change my world forever – Bella Swan. She's cute and hot all in one. I had to sit next to her in biology because there were no other seats available, but I'm sure as cookie not complaining.

"You're Edward Cullen," she said, sticking her hand out to shake mine.

"The one and only," I replied with my half-smile that I use on the girls that I want to get freaky with and shook her hand.

"What brought you to Forks?" Bella asked, and even though I had heard that question a million times I didn't mind it when she asked.

"Dr. Cullen. He wanted to spend some time in a small town; he thought it would be good for me."

"Do you like it here so far?"

"Duck, no," I laughed at her silly question.

"Did you just say 'duck, no'?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow. Cookie!

"Um, yeah."

"Why?"

"I have issues. I physically can't say the f-word. It usually comes out as duck or cookie."

"That's… different," she said, sounding amused.

"Don't make fun of me!" I growled, my douchey nature making an appearance. "I just have my issues." I added, softer.

"We all do," Bella replied quietly. I ducking love her.

We walked out of biology near each other, not speaking anymore.

"Bella!" I heard a booming voice ask before a massive guy with dark curly hair came over to us.

"Emmett, this is Edward. Edward, this is my brother Emmett," Bella introduced, and I shook his hand. I hated meeting all these people. Bella having a brother seemed like it could be a complication.

"Nice to meet you, Ed!" Emmett greeted, and I cringed.

"It's Edward."

"Whatever you say, Eddie."

"It's Edward."

"I want to talk to you for a minute," He said, pulling me away from Bella.

"What the hell?" I asked, not sure what to think of him.

"Look, I don't want you talk to my sister, look at her or even think her name," Emmett ordered, shoving me against a locker when we were out of Bella's sight.

"I just met her-"

"Listen, Emoward, I don't like you. You need to lighten up, stop being such a douche, and stay the hell away from Bella or I will kick your ass." Emmett told me and proceeded to stuff me into a locker.

I was there for two hours and thought of nothing but Bella. I realized that as I long as I was in Forks Emmett was going to kick my ass – frequently.