Irken Gaz
By: Gaz
Author's note: hey I totally fell a sleep at my computer a few minutes ago (11:30 p.m. for those of you that must know). I'm waiting for AOL to update me to AOL 7.0 but it's taking more than four hours to do and I only started at 10:30 that totally sucks but I don't really care. ^_^
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim, my new Irken Female idea is an original one and belongs to me along with my Irken Gaz. I also don't own McDonalds' and am very sorry I you do for the teeny weenie little remark I said about them.
Running, running for so long, never a place to stop. I've been running for days. There's something after me, but I have yet to know what it is.
'Tired, so very tired,' I think stumbling ahead. 'Lights, there must be a city up ahead. Must keep running.'
I run through the city, seeing no place to stop I keep going till I get to a small neighborhood just on the edge of the city. There's a strange house up ahead. It doesn't look like all the other red brick houses around it in the little cul-de-sac. No, it's somehow safe looking. Quickly I run through the street not even looking for traffic. No time, must get to the house. The strange signs that say 'I love Earth,' the lawn gnomes, and the strange blowfish lawn flamingo type things somehow look welcoming.
"Just a few more steps, Gaz," I say to myself aloud. "There may be help for you yet."
I reach the door easily. The lawn gnomes turn to face me, must be some kind of security system. Slowly I put my gloved hand flat on the door. A dark blue light surrounds my small pale white Irken body. The light quickly fades away.
"So this is what happened to Zim," I say quietly before knocking loudly with all the strength that I had gotten from that little bit of light.
There was no answer. I know he's in there. I kick the door as hard as I could. The house starts to shake.
Still no answer. Again, kick the door. This time not so hard, but hard enough to crack the door right down the middle.
"If that's you Dib, go away," I heard Zim yell angrily after several minutes of fighting with something called Gir.
Pathetic, even after only a few months of being here I knew many things that Zim after his year and a half still had yet to learn. That was easy to know just by the tone of his voice. He was a very sad Irken, and always will be. No wonder the tallest sent him to this awful planet.
"It's me Gaz," I yelled back.
"What are you doing here human stink beast?" Zim asked back even more angrily.
He called me a human stink beast. I am soo going to kill him when I get in there.
"You just called me a human stink beast. If you do that again, I swear by the almighty tallest, that I'll kill you when I get in there," I said with one final kick that left the door broken in two.
As soon as Zim heard me mention the almighty tallest, he opened the half of the door that was left standing.
"What are you doing here?" he asked as I stepped over the broken door and picked up the two pieces.
Quickly I mended the door with one of the kewl machine thingies in my backpack.
"Finally, I thought I'd have to burn the house down to get you to let me in," I said totally ignoring what Zim had asked me, I loved ignoring him.
His shortness made it understandable to ignore him. Though he was two inches taller than the last time I had seen him. My being four foot still made me tower over him and his three footness. In a few Earth days I'd be about ten feet tall, and Zim would still be the same height.
"What are you doing here," Zim asked even more angrily than I had ever seen him before; I loved it.
"Where's you communication system, I need to contact the tallest," I asked this was so much fun.
"Follow me," Zim said reluctantly walking in the kitchen.
The kitchen was nothing like any normal human kitchen I had seen before. There were posters exclaiming how much he liked food all over the walls. The appliances and the table/chairs seemed normal enough. But the toilet by the fridge totally messed up what little normalness he had been able to salvage.
"Come on," he said as he started to climb into the toilet.
Quickly I scanned the room for another way down to his lab, the trash can I saw that it was a slide/elevator down instantly. I'd take that before I'd ever take the toilet.
"I'll just stick with the trash can, I've already seen what humans do in toilets," I replied rejoicing at the flinch that Zim showed when I revealed that I knew about the trash can.
"Whatever," Zim said angrily before disappearing down the toilet.
There, now that he's gone I can just transfer myself to the lab. I closed my eyes and disappeared from the kitchen, only to find myself in his way out of date lab.
"How did you get here before me? The toilet is faster than the trash can," Zim said a few minutes later after zooming down on the elevator plate thingy.
"So where is your transmitter?" I asked knowing that it was probably way out of date, but it would have to do seeing as I totally busted my portable one while I was running.
"Over there, but you can't use it," Zim said angry with me, like I cared.
"And why not," I asked in an I-don't-care voice.
"Because the tallest told me only to send a message to them once a year," Zim said a-of-fact-ly.
"Am I you?" I asked before going over to the transmitter that was even more out of date than I thought.
Quickly I started to update it, even though it would have gone under being nice to Zim, there was no way that I was going to use a piece of garbage. The whole time I was doing this Zim was jumping around me making sure that I wasn't going to damage his 'precious' transmitter.
"There," I said finally.
Hitting a few keys I brought up the tallest 'number.'
"Hello, Zim," Red said not even looking at the screen.
"Who the hell are you calling 'Zim?'" I asked making a swishy motion with my hand that made Zim disappear unfortunately only to the living room.
"Gaz, you're…you're alive?" Red said more as a question than a statement, damn him.
"Yes, I can see that already. Is Purple there I need to talk to him," I said so very mad at Red.
"You've grown, last time I saw you, you were only two and a half feet tall," Red said ignoring my question, I would make him pay later for ignoring me.
"I can also see that. Now is Purple there, it is urgent that I talk to him," I said now even more mad at Red.
"No, and there's no way you'll be talking to him anytime soon," Red said with an evil smile, HE WILL PAY.
"Don't be too sure of yourself, Red," I said with an even more eviler smile. "And don't worry, I will make you pay. Within a couple of Earth days I should be ten feet tall, in a few days I will be tall enough to rival even your height. I just have to stay where I am. As soon as that is so, I will come and reign doom upon your doomeded self."
"Huh," Red said, he had totally not followed me.
"In a couple of days I'm going to come up and reign doom upon your evilness. If you didn't follow that you need to go out and get a translator for your super computer," I said ending the transmission before he had a chance to trace it. "I hate Red. Sometimes I wish he'd just disappear for all of eternity. Luckily that will soon come to be," then she did the super evil laugh that Zim does.
"Um…excuse me…are you done yet?" Zim asked cautiously coming back down to the lab.
"Yes, yes," I said before transferring myself to the living room.
There was a SIR unit sitting on the couch watching TV. It was different from mine, somehow stupider looking.
"Hello, Gazzy," the SIR unit said looking up it's face was covered with chocolate bubble gum slushy, dis-gus-ting.
"How do you know my name?" I asked thinking something was seriously wrong if Zim programmed his SIR unit to know who I am. "And don't call me Gazzy. I can't stand that name."
"You're that BAD, BAD HUMAN's sister," the SIR unit said doing this funky red thing with his eyes when he said 'BAD, BAD HUMAN.'
"No I'm not," I said the unit just took on a strange confused look.
"Ok," it finally said with a happy grin, scary.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Looking over I scanned to see who and what it was. It was a human that went by the name 'Dib.' He was quite the opposite of ugly if you asked me for a human that is.
"Zim, open up, I know you have my sister," Dib screamed.
Zim was still in his lab checking out the upgrades that I had made to his computer, so he didn't hear the annoying skin bag at the door.
"Hello can I help you?" I asked opening the door slightly and looking out.
"Gaz, come on dad's looking for us, it's time for our yearly dinner," Dib said pulling me partly out the door by the hand.
"Who are you and how do you know my name?" I asked pulling my hand away with a force that seemed to surprise him as I stepped the rest of the way out the door.
"Gaz, he's brainwashed you," he said, he was scared I could feel it deep inside his heart, he must care for this 'Gaz' that he's looking for.
"What that minuscule Invader, Zim?" I asked with a laugh. "For an annoying bag of skin you're actually kind of funny."
"You know?" he said somewhat surprised, now's my chance, his guard is down so I can easily read his mind.
Looking for his sister 'Gaz' that looked and sounded exactly like me. Now that was something I haven't seen, or read to be precise, in all my days I've never known any other creature to look like me except for other Irken Females.
"You're looking for your sister," I said trying to find out more about this creature.
"How did you know, wait you are my sister, so of course you'd know," he said, he's so messed up inside, thinking that I am his sister, yet at the same time thinking that I'm not.
"No, I'm not, but my name is Gaz," I said, it might be some fun to play with an earthling. "I'm new to town."
"Then what are you doing at Zim's house," Dib asked, dying to tell me Zim was an alien.
"He's a friend of mine," I said, I couldn't say anything that would make my identity known even though it about killed me to say that Zim was a…ewe…friend of mine. "I was just stopping by to say hello and use his telephone so that I could call my family and tell them that I made it safely."
"Ok," Dib said obviously trying not to yell that I was an alien too, this would be so much fun.
"Well, I better be going now. Good bye," I said totally walking past Dib as I pulled out a video game system that looked much like the humans' Game Slave, except it was much more advanced, I made sure to update it every night, so that it would keep being challenging. "It was nice to meet you," I yelled over my shoulder before running off down the street.
'There's a spot,' I thought a few minutes later as I walked down the street and stopped at a vacant lot. I'd have to freeze time to be able to build something to my liking. The wind started up and it got as cold as winter though it was only September. Then, every thing completely stopped moving the only thing left to move was me. Just the way I liked it, serene, calm, and nobody to bother me.
"Computer," I said.
"Yes," a Female computer voice said seeming to come from no anywhere, yet seeming to come from every where.
"I want a house that is like the others, but not exactly, and definitely not as out of date and not standing out as much as Zim's," I said remembering how awful Zim's house had been.
"Yes, ma'am," the computer voice said as a house, exactly the way I wanted it to be, appeared in the vacant lot.
"Thank you," I said before unfreezing time.
The wind didn't come back that could be good, or it could be bad. Looking around to make sure nobody noticed the new house standing there I went inside. The inside was bigger than the outside would have suggested. It looked like a mansion that I had seen on TV a few months ago. Perfect.
"Hey, that house wasn't there before," I heard the boy named Dib say from outside, what was he doing here, I thought he went off to terrorize Zim some more.
"Oh, hello," I said stepping outside to see exactly what he was doing.
"Hey, it's you, the girl from Zim's," he yelled, did he have to state the obvious like Red had.
"Uh…lets see…duh," I said totally being rude, like I cared. Then, quickly I thought about this Professor Cell dude that had discovered how to make things invisible for a certain amount of time, I could probably use that information to my advantage.
"The house, it wasn't there before," Dib said again.
"Yes, my dad paid a bundle for the house to be invisible till it was done, the genius, Professor Cell, my uncle, made sure that it was exactly the way I wanted it," I said after a few seconds with a devious smile.
"Oh, well, hello new neighbor," Dib said before going inside the house next door on the left, damn, I would have to stand him for the next few weeks, he was too smart for me to be able to just leave in a couple of days, like I had planned.
"Computer, get my SIR for me," I said to the computer a few minutes later from down in my lab.
Looking around I was very pleased to see that it was even more advanced than that of the Invaders.
"Just a minute please," the computer said.
Then, SIR came up on the screen.
"SIR, I've found a place, I'll be transporting you now," I said before doing the kewl swishy motion with my hand and SIR appeared next to me. "So what did you find?"
"Red knows when it's you sending a message and sends Purple to go take care of something," SIR said.
"Thank you," I said before swishing my hand sending the SIR to the kitchen to make me something to eat, I was getting somewhat hungry and earth food seemed to make me grow faster. "Computer, get Purple for me."
"Just a second," the computer voice said before a picture of Purple came up on screen.
"Gaz, what's wrong," he asked instantly, he knew that something was wrong, why wouldn't he, if nothing was wrong I would be there in person talking to him.
"I'm on Earth," I said unhappily. "I'm not sure how I got here, but it had something to do with Red, and there's some kind of evil Irken eating creature after me."
"Are you sure that it's Red?" he asked.
"Yes, I'm very sure, other wise I'd still be there planning that big feast for your birthday," I said angrily. "I won't be able to come back for a couple of earth weeks, about two days on Irk."
"Why?" Purple asked, so caring.
"Because I have already met an earthling that is smarter than the Invader you sent here, Zim I believe," I said typing a few things on the keyboard that appeared on the screen next to the transmitter.
"Ok, if you need anything just tell me," Purple said looking concerned.
"Yes, I would like you to do one thing," I said remembering what SIR had said about Red sending Purple away every time I 'called.'
"And what might that be," Purple asked.
"When Red tells you to go take care of something could you send him to do it? My SIR unit has informed me that every time I try to contact you he sends you off to take care of something," I said hoping that he'd agree.
"Alright, I'll do that," Purple said before the screen went blank.
I love my position. Leader of the female Irkens, only because I was only the second female Irken to be created (the first gone because of some kind of freak accident), the only person that I had to listen to was Purple because I had been able to show him that someday I would be taller than Red, if I even lived that long. Red would become unimportant as soon as I was taller than him, though it didn't matter much because of me being a female and all. Until then, I had to find a way to fit in with the other humans that would be somewhat hard, but maybe not that hard seeing as that human 'Dib' had mistaken me for his sister.
"Computer, show me local education facilities," I said, I might as well learn a few things about these humans before I get myself into trouble.
"One has been found," the computer said as an ugly picture of skool came up on the screen that had minutes ago held the transmission with Purple.
"Please, make import temporary files, so that I may go to this 'skool,'" I said cringing at the thought of going there in the morning.
"File transfer complete," the computer said a minute later.
"SIR, what have you made for dinner," I said going up stairs, brushing the dust from the new lab off my nice shiny black pants.
"I made ham and Lipton's Garlic and Chicken flavored pasta," SIR said it's eyes changing for a split second from red to purple.
"Good, you didn't go out and buy McDonalds' again," I said with a smile remembering why I had forbidden SIR ever to go there again.
~*~Fun Time Skip…to the next morning…SQUEE~*~
"Time to get up," the computer said as the house filled with a fog horn sound that could luckily only be heard from inside.
"Don't use the fog horn again, use something softer, I don't need to get what the humans call a migraine just getting up in the morning," I yelled as I slowly pulled myself out of bed and over to the sanitation unit.
~*~Another Fun Time Skip…five minutes later…SQUEE~*~
"SIR, you stay here and make sure that nobody with different DLU from mine gets in, that includes any humans and their DNA," I said before walking out the door, this was going to be a long three weeks.
"Hey, Gaz come on, we're going to be late for skool," I heard Dib yell from behind me.
Turning around I saw that he was talking to a human girl that looked exactly like me, down to every exact detail, except for the clothes and the fact that she was wearing a skull necklace and I was wearing a dagger. She, too, had a video game system in her hand, though hers was only an inferior human 'Game Slave,' while mine was an advanced Irken 'Killer Dream 1,000,000' system. It was a very rare system, only for those with time to spend playing with it, all the other females had one, but not as good as mine, they didn't update theirs as much as I did mine.
"Oh, hey, Gaz," Dib yelled, at me this time.
"I'm right here dip wad," the human Gaz that soo totally stole my name said kicking her brother, kewl she kicked her own brother.
"Not you, her," Dib yelled at his sister while pointing at me.
'Not standing out, very good Gaz,' I think as the girl looked up and just stared wide eyed at me. "Oh, hi Dib," I say quickly avoiding Gaz's glair, I don't need this human getting in my way right now, if I have to I'll just simply get rid of her for the time being.
"See Gaz, I told you that there was someone that looked just like you next door," Dib said obviously messed up by the weirdness of it all.
"Nice Game Slave, what model is it?" I asked trying to get the Earth girl to stop staring at me with her mouth open wide, it was making me sick.
"Game Slave Advanced," the other Gaz said, whatever like I really care about your little simple Game Slave. "Yours?"
"Killer Dream 1,000,000," I relied as the three of us started walking down the street, why am I walking with a bunch of humans?…I don't know, but I might just learn something about their pathetic humanness.
"I've never seen that system before," Gaz said looking over at it in my hands.
"This is the only 1,000,000 version, and there are only about 200 of the original system," I said looking up and seeing the disgusting building that I had seen on my computer the night before.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Author's note: hey this story was like ten word program (seven html) pages long. So I thought I better stop here. This story is done as if I'm the new Gaz, I just told you that so that my little 'Author's Tip' below made sense.
Author's Tips: I'm an Irken named Gaz (for this fic only, normally I'm Dib's sister) that should help a lot. Female Irkens are pale white skinned color instead of green, there are very few females, so I'm special. ^_^ All female Irkens have purple hair/eyes and look much like ordinary female human stinkbeasts, except for the whole unordinary purple hair/eye coloring. Plus they keep their eyes like mostly shut because they have no need to keep them all the way open. And I luv video games, so I will be found with one no matter what's going on. To sum it all up I'm much like the human Gaz, except I have some kewl powers that you have to wait to hear about. The only way to tell Irken females from the human Gaz is that they have the kewl backpacks like the male Irkens except theirs are blue.