A/N: This is my very first fanfic, and I wrote it more as an exercise to practice my writing style than to practice originality. Thus, it may not be of interest to anyone else, but if you care enough to read it, reviews - especially constructive criticism - is much appreciated. If I feel like it, I may novelize more scenes like this in the future. The usual disclaimers apply - all credit goes to Gene Roddenbury, I just play with his characters, yadda yadda yadda. Also, the views and personality expressed by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) may or may not have been what he actually believed - I am relying solely on Star Trek's version of him, not the real man, for characterization.
"According to our best geologic estimate, the earth is approximately a hundred million years of age. Perhaps it is less…perhaps more."
Guinan smiled to herself as she added sagely, "Perhaps a great deal more."
She had to admit that she was having the time of her life. Ever since she had been a little girl, she had been fascinated by her grandmother Baanya's stories of primitive cultures. Baanya herself had visited many primitive planets over the course of her first six hundred years, even serving as ambassador on two first contact missions. While she herself had no desire to be a diplomat, Guinan had shared her grandmother's love of history and culture. So when a teacher of hers at the El-Aurian Institute of Arts and Cultures had hooked her up with a trade ship that passed through the Western spiral arm of the galaxy, she had been ecstatic at the possibility of furthering her research with some empirical data.
Of course, her father hadn't been terribly pleased with the idea of his daughter, a young girl who was even younger at heart, traveling across half the galaxy to live with aliens who were known to be hostile to others on their planet, let alone to alien races. There had been the speech about hitching rides from unscrupulous traders, and the speech about not disturbing the natural course of development on the planet, and the firm directive to return as soon as the necessary data had been collected.
Guinan had chosen a small, beautiful blue planet on Cre-Olan's flight path, mostly because the dominant species was humanoid and their features were quite similar to those of El-Aurians. When she arrived by transporter beam in a country called the United States of America, she had found that the people there did indeed look like her. However, she had run into difficulty in a few parts of the country because of her rich chocolate-brown skin. She was puzzled to find that there was general distrust and even hostility toward dark people in some places. Eventually, after some traveling and a couple alarming experiences, she had determined that a large port city called San Francisco was one of the safest and more interesting places in which to perform her research.
She had quickly established herself as an eminent socialite, hosting many musical and cultural events, as well as being a philanthropist and an outspoken supporter of women's suffrage. This gave her the perfect platform for her studies, and made her an intriguing character for many of the locals who gathered in her parlor. She enjoyed every bit of the character she played, except for, perhaps, the corsets, though she had long ago decided that the marvelous hats made up for not being able to breathe.
She had especially become interested in one Samuel Clemens, an author whose books she found entertaining and whose person she found particularly amusing. He was an old cynic with a penchant for sarcasm and an imagination that would have been able to comprehend her situation, had she decided to divulge it. In fact, sometimes she wished that she had not promised her father that she wouldn't officially make first contact; it would be fun to see Mr. Clemens' reaction. However, posed as a hypothetical question – only an interesting intellectual puzzle – well, these humans could surely handle the idea of alien life forms.
"Man himself has only existed for a microscopic fraction of those years." Clemens laughed ironically to himself. "Curious, isn't it, that the world got by for such a great long while with no humans around to fill up space. I suppose Mr. Wallace and his supporters would say that the Earth needed all that time to prepare itself for our illustrious arrival. Why, the oyster alone" – and here he grabbed a fresh oyster off her maid Annie's platter – "probably required fifteen hundred years in order for it to come out just right."
"But if the Earth isn't alone," Guinan said, deciding to fuel the discussion as Clemens slurped down the shellfish, "and there are millions of inhabited planets in the heavens…"
That set him off on a long-winded rant about the insignificance of the human race, causing Guinan to grin. After all, she was a listener from a race of listeners, and she had to admit that she was always amused at how long some humans could talk. Moreover, she was entertained by how long this particular human could disparage his entire species.
"Some may argue that a diamond is still a diamond, even if it is one amongst millions. It still shines as brightly."
"Someone might say that, dear lady, if someone thought that the human race was akin to a precious jewel. But this increasingly hypothetical someone would not be me!"
"But it seems to me that we are making progress, wouldn't you agree Mr. Clemens?" a middle-aged woman, the wife of a businessman, asked. "Every year, it seems, there is some new invention that everyone says will change the world. For example, this new-fangled horseless carriage."
"Stuff and nonsense," said Clemens. "All these technologies are being manufactured to fuel the materialistic demand of the public. What we need more than technology is a cultural renaissance." He reached out a hand to Guinan, who was smiling coyly at him, and brought her to her feet. "Madam Guinan understands the importance –"
"Guinan!" Clemens was interrupted by a shout from the entryway. It was Jefferson, her butler, who had been managing the guest list at the door. Both she and Clemens turned to see the distinguished butler being dragged behind a very strange young man. His skin was very pale and tinged with gold and he had the most remarkable yellow eyes Guinan had ever seen. He also appeared to be quite strong, as he was practically pulling Jefferson off his feet in his effort to reach her.
"I must speak to you immediately," the strange man said, and though his face was expressionless, his voice sounded urgent.
"Forgive me, Madam, he just barged right in," gasped a winded Jefferson, looking slightly frazzled.
"I am sorry for the disruption, but he would not believe me when I told him we were friends," said the pale-faced man.
Now this is new, Guinan thought, staring at him in puzzlement. El-Aurians tend to have excellent memories, and she was no exception. She was certain that if she had ever met this unusual man, she would have remembered him, but to use an old human expression, his face did not even ring a bell.
"Do I know you, Mr…?" she asked, raising an eyebrow, curious.
"Data," the man replied, then said insistently, "Yes. We were on a ship together."
Guinan had learned human social customs well, and she understood how to diffuse a situation quietly. Unwilling to create a scene, she shot a warning glance at Jefferson and said, "Well, I do so much traveling, what ship would that be?"
The man looked at her blankly, his eyes wide. "The Enterprise."
"Is that a clipper ship?"
"It is a starship."
It was all Guinan could do not to gasp; she suddenly realized she was dealing with an alien like herself.
"A starship?" asked Clemens. "And what registry would that be?"
But she knew that the last thing she needed was to arouse the suspicions of a particular fiction writer, so she put on her best gracious-hostess-meeting-an-old-friend act.
"Of course! Mr. Data! Excuse us, we have so much to catch up on, excuse us! How are you?"
She took the young man, who was looking confused and slightly apprehensive, by the arm and dragged him outside, leaving a befuddled Jefferson and a suspicious Clemens staring after her.
"What exactly are you?" she finally asked in the tone of someone getting down to business.
"Android," he replied, and at her baffled look added, "Artificial life form."
"Ahhh…" she had never met an artificial person before. "Did my father send you here? Because if he did, you must go back and tell him I'm not done listening –"
"I was not sent by your father. Circumstances demand that I take you into my confidence."
Curious, this android. She had never met anyone with such pale skin before, either. She reached out to gently touch his face, knowing it was a childish impulse that would have earned her a reproachful glance if her father had been there.
"I require your assistance," Data continued, and something about it sounded to her like a cry for help, despite his calm manner. "I am from the 24th century, where you and I serve aboard a starship."
That sounded plausible. In fact, it was nice to know her future would be as adventurous as her present. "And?"
"Our ship encountered a species who appears to be threatening 19th century earth. I investigated and was inadvertently pulled into their temporal vortex."
"Ahhh…" Now she understood why he looked so very lost and – well, if he had been a real person, she would have said frightened, but he wasn't. He had been accidentally sucked back in time and didn't know how to get home. The look she gave him was one of sympathy.
"When I saw your photograph in the newspaper, I assumed you had joined me from the future, from the Enterprise. I knew your species was long-lived, but I did not realize you had visited Earth so long ago."
It was then that they both noticed the curling white smoke billowing out from the doorway. Guinan rolled her eyes in exasperation. Clemens. He'd followed them, and he was going to tell everyone what he had just heard. Perfect.
He coughed slightly in embarrassment at being discovered, but said in a confident voice, "Eavesdropping is hardly a proper activity for a gentleman. Nonetheless, the deed is done."
Guinan glanced at the android, and saw him stiffen. He knew as well as she did that this man was going to cause them trouble.