AUTHOR'S NOTES AND WARNINGS: I made this as a draft from somewhen to two years ago. As such, the writing quality and the characters may have fluctuated in the middle of this fic. Also, I made this fic solely for Kid Icarus Uprising fanfic fans who just happen to want this kind of fic existing. Also for myself, because 13-year old me was an avid Pit&Dark Pit platonic shipper and there was just a complete lack of said genre in the site. (At least 13-year old me found so.) Characters and settings are not mine, no serious job has been done on this, and hope you like my fic saved-from-draft-stasis.
"I'm going out! You keep the newborns in line, staff, got it staff manager?"
"*Giggle!* I'll do my best, side manager!~"
Today was the perfect day to visit Skyworld. As Arlon has stated, the goddess of earth has bid an appointment between gods, and was now currently storming off into that god's place to have some kind of friendly amicable meeting with the other god concerning a matter of godly duty.
At least that was more or less how Arlon has worded it, except Dark Pit's instincs has already prodded on the scenario where the host says something particularly offensive regarding some thing of the likes to a potted plant, and the midget throws a tantrum, followed by a subsequent order sent to the staff of the Forces of Nature resting to send back one fresh reset bomb in arrival of message.
Being the helpful servant he is, Arlon has helpfully informed him that Viridi, following the fall of the 'gross ugly gump' Hades, has signed an oath of peace, that she vows not to wage wars with other deities unless, and only if, the situation calls for her retaliation. And thus ended today's morning report before Arlon's face blinked off from the panel.
At least that latter update sounded pretty reassuring, knowing that even the bratty thing still has her sense of honor. Viridi has demonstrated plenty of said honor at the war againts Aurum, as Pit had told.
(Her minions were actually pretty competent. And if it wasn't for them, I'd probably'd become a smear on the ground. Viridi's troops are currently a pretty good motivator for the centurions training it out at our boot camp. They really could use plenty, you know. Lady Palutena was REAL serious about them needing extra regimen. Speaking of which, how's the forces of nature doing?)
Shutting up the squeaky little Pit-voice replay in his mind, Dark Pit flapped his wings once more againts the whizzing air. The sky pleasantly cloudy, the dark spot in the air is a glaring contrast sailing through white vapours framing bits of blue skies. The angel was, for less of better word, in a quite non-climatic rush to get to the landing spot. He needed to reach Skyworld quick, less the five minute he could stay in flight runs out.
Skyworld is located to the northwest of Viridi's homebase, a bit to the right from where the sun sets. And, as a vital info to all flying beings winged or not, Skyworld is high up, hence that telltale name for the giant floating islands of grounded rocks and structures surronding the entrance to Palutena's temple. G-force hits like a brickwall when provoked willy-nilly.
And there it was, the huge marble coluseum where the great, justice-keeping -and lofty-goddess Palutena resides in, with the ever naive leader of her guards Pit happily keeping under her wing like the dog full of faith he was.
But, Dark Pit slowly adknowledged after he lands, the place was...quiet.
Where was Pit?
He usually goes high puppy whenever he hears the dark angel enters, black wings similar to his white counter flipping in the air before the sound of wooden sandals hitting the cobblestone of the templefront. As a bonus, Dark Pit have not gave any sort of reply about the forces of nature's status. He should at least let this hangover done with;it's been a problematic inconvenience on his memory concience.
"Hello?" Dark Pit called. An audible echo answered back.
And where the hell were all the centurions?
"AAAAAH! Don't pour that to the food!"
And there was much noise from somewhere in the temple. Most likely the kitchen.
Also, Dark Pit noticed with irk, that screech right there was Viridi's.
And thus in came the reason behind the evacuation.
This can only end with a lot. Maybe a collateral reset bomb would become his saviour this afternoon.
-~Few minutes later~-
Dark Pit heaved a breath out as he grasped for the fourth floor level. That flight of stairs was pointlessly windy. And long and hard. That must be one of Pit's daily muscle training, the black angel thought. (Though the mental sight of the Centurion heavybrutes having to go through all these made him grin in amusement. Unfortunately, the lack of cracks on the marbled floor indicates none, much to his mild dissapointment.)(Oh wait, there's one right there. Yow, that's big.)
"NO, NO, NO, I already told you! Do not use that potion f.. any ..ind of physical ..bjects in the kitchen. YOU HEAR ME?!" Viridi sounded
"..t Viridi, ... just gonn.. ..dd one drop... ..h okay okay a..eady."
Immediately his ears shot out to the lone door at the farthest corner where the corridor ends. So that idiot has been cooking with the little prick? His legs fastened towards the door and he pulled down the doorknob, and pushed the door, scarlet eyes focused on whatever calamity had been boiling up in the kitchen.
The first thing he found however, was the face of Pit, who instantly perked up at the sight of his friend, blue eyes beaming at him. "Oh, Pittoo! You came too?" He was wearing an apron, all frills around the edges and shoulders, and quite pink with white touches. He was holding a bowl full of green vegetables.
Before Dark Pit has the chance to reply (and make a remark on how his color choice was rather odd), a high-pitched voice piped up behind Pit. "So you had run away after I left for a while. *giggle*, I couldn't have anticipated you any better."
"You left the place without giving alert to your children, Viridi, how could you have been so careless?" He retorted with sarcasm across the place to where Viridi had been handling a simmering pot. "Although I should've figured it out when I saw Phosphora giving out directions to the newborn minions. What kind of business you have here?"
"The voice enlarger was broken today. I already assigned Arlon to monitor the sprouts and contact Phosphora if anything happens." Elaborated Viridi. She then crosses her arms and leers. "And whatc'hou doing here, Pittoo?" God, that has got to be her most favored portrait pose of all.
Dark Pit crossed his arms back. "Just visiting for a change of seasons. And, you know, making sure you and Pit and probably Palutena don't kill each other or blow the place up."
"I'm flattered that you're worried, Dark Pit, but don't worry, I've taken careful precautions." Just as Viridi opened her mouth wide, Palutena walks in the room smiling her usual serene smile.
"Precautions, huh? Like what?"
"Oh, not much, really, just a protection barrier for the kitchen walls."
"Huh... So, how did the cooking go, so far?"
Pit answered, "Pretty good. All aside Viridi freaking out when I was just adding one drop of the Rejuvenation Potion over the vegetables. I think Lady Palutena has told her the story about how one day she added too much on some carrots and they all kind of sprouted arms and legs..."
"And by golly did she tell me!" Said Viridi leaning aside the counter.
Dark Pit was, a bit at loss for words. "Sprouted arm and legs..." He turned to Pit, lowering his voice. "Hey, mind if you tell me the full stuff on what's happened?" Because I think I have seen it somewhere in my nightmares...
Pit grinned sheepishly as he whispered back. "It's no secret actually, we just decided not to talk about it too much since we already added it to the unauthorized records of legends. I'll show you the library where they keep it, once we're done with the soup." And don't worry, Pittoo. I also still have nightmares of those...or maybe it was actually the Tempura Wizard...
And the evenings passed peacefully without any Reset Bombs.
At least until they heard a growl and shuffling twig-like feet behind them. In which the Goddess of Nature quickly tamed and befriended the little newly-sentient pumpkin, and Dark Pit called up to Phosphora to tell her about the new new addition to the Forces of Nature. And Dark Pit learned just a little bit more about talking civilly with his lighter twin, and he finally got rid of the hangover, and it was all good.