Now I will tell you what I've done for you 50 thousand tears I've cried
Kikyou sighed as she whipped away the remaining tear. The dead didn't have feelings...but…what were these?
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you And you still won't hear me
'InuYasha still cares for me!' She screamed in her head deceiving herself. 'He will always love me!' She though another falsehood. But how come he never acted like that? Especially around Kagome-San?
Don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself Maybe I'll wake up for once
Kikyou stood up and walked out of her hut the town had given her as a few children ran over. 'I don't need InuYasha!' She thought to herself quitely. 'I can help myself!' She thought again.
Not tormented daily, defeated by you Just when I thought I reached the bottom
She
sighed as the sun set. 'I want InuYasha...' she thought to herself.
Defeated again by InuYasha over running her thoughts.
She though
she had hit the bottom the day before but today had only been
worse.
I'm dying again. I'm going under. Drowning in you I'm falling forever. I've got to break through. I'm going under.
She sighed and knew she had to break from this consistency of thinking of InuYasha. It was like she died each day with out him. She was falling down a cliff, it felt like, and everyday without InuYasha she sped faster to her death.
Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies, So I don't know what's real and what's not
Her thoughts blurred as she remembered when Inuyasha had attacked her. She sighed. Had that been him or was it Naraku? The truth and the lies were so mixed up it was impossible to tell.
Always confusing the thoughts in my head, So I can't trust myself anymore
The
thoughts were so confusing. That lead her to think. Did she truly
love InuYasha?! Or was it just her clouded emotions? It was so hard
to trust anything any more. Especially her feelings.
I'm
going under. Drowning in you. I'm falling forever. I've got to break
through.
She couldn't stop thinking and double thinking then triple thinking...she couldn't even keep track. Why was she feeling this?! Was she not dead? She shouldn't have these feelings! Especially from someone in the land of the living. She might be here but she did not belong here. And she knew that.
So go on and scream. Scream at me I'm so far away. I won't be broken again..I've got to breathe I can't keep going under. I'm dying again
She
remembered once. When she had been TRUELY alive. She and InuYasha
had gotten into a fight about how Hanyou and youki were different and
how he also couldn't stand his brother. Kikyou on the other hand
didn't truly believe this. He had yelled at her. Maybe he didn't love
her. Maybe he did. Maybe if she focused on the bad she would fall out
of love. But that was
impossible. She let out a small frustrated
scream. She couldn't take it anymore!!
I'm
going under. Drowning in you. I'm falling forever. I've got to break
through. I'm going under. Going under.
I'm going under.
She
sighed and let a few more tears fall. She was under loves spell and
falling further under. She laid her head down and let her eyes shut
and fell asleep crying slightly. Why couldn't she just die? They
there would be no InuYasha. She slowly stopped her, 'breathing'
in her sleep. Because in her dreams she had died as well as in the
real world. Bringing her into happiness. She was finally done with
going under.
